Java with Juli - Making Sense of God & Sex
Dr. Juli Slattery and Authentic Intimacy®
Psychologist and author Dr. Juli Slattery doesn’t like small talk. In this weekly podcast, she dives into the “taboo” questions Christians are afraid to ask—or don’t know who to ask—about sexuality, intimacy, marriage, singleness, and more. Every episode is an open invitation to join Juli “at the table” for a deeper look at the good, the hard, the healing, and the holy in God’s design for sexuality. Java with Juli is a ministry of Authentic Intimacy.
#563 Practical Advice for Talking to Kids About Sex and Culture
Navigating the teenage years has never been easy, whether you’re the parent or the child. So as parents, how can you help your teenager or pre-teen have a better experience? What practically can you do to put them in a stronger position to navigate their teenage years safely, with more clarity about God’s love for them and design for their sexuality? Three guests – James Talbert, Josh Miller, and Chelsey Nutgren – join Juli to share some much-needed practical advice for raising surrendered kids
Apr 21, • 46:17
#562 The Best Way to Stop Fighting in Your Marriage
James 4:1 so famously writes, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?” It’s not surprising that marriage is a hotbed for conflict. When you live so closely with someone else, it’s easy to see their flaws, shortcomings, and mistakes in high definition. So what can you do to stop constantly fighting? In this special session from Reclaim 2024, Brad Rhoads shares what helped cut fighting and elevate fun in his marriage. Guests: Brad Rhodes, Grace Marriage Brad’s Website: gracemar
Apr 14, • 41:43
#561 Help for Christian Wives Who Don’t Like Sex
We’ve talked about the fact that many women struggle to ‘flip the switch’ and enjoy married sex, and we’ve talked about what might contribute to that. But we haven’t talked about what husbands can do to help their wives enjoy sex. Juli shares a conversation from Gary Thomas’ Podcast where she was a panelist alongside Debra Fileta and Belah Rose. Host: Gary Thomas Featured Speakers: Dr. Juli Slattery, Debra Fileta, MA, LPC and Belah Rose Gary’s Website: garythomas.com Gary’s Newsletter: gar
Apr 7, • 1:05:41
#560 Can Biblical Churches be LGBTQ-friendly?
There are so many challenges that come with leading a church well, especially when it comes to how to express their stance on Biblical sexuality. Many want to be a place where people can wrestle with the truth about God and sex and figure things out, while also being sure to prioritize biblical orthodoxy. How can they do both? Pastor Evan Wickham, from Park Hill Church in San Diego, joins Juli to share lessons he’s learned and what his church is doing to lead biblically with clarity and love.
Mar 31, • 53:16
#559 What if Male Sexuality Is More Complex Than We Think?
Historically, inside and outside the church, male sexuality has been talked about as a purely orgasm-driven experience. But is it possible we have oversimplified the male sexual experience? What if there’s more to the way men think and feel about sex than we’ve previously considered? Dr. Corey Allan joins Juli for a very different conversation about male sexuality. Guest: Dr. Corey Allan Corey’s Website: smr.fm Corey’s Instagram: @sexymarriageradio Resource: Purity Culture Failed Men Too
Mar 24, • 49:42
#558 Christians Need To Change The Way They Talk About Married Sex
As we work to change the purity narrative and undo many of its effects, we have to look at some of the continued harm it does to marriages. There’s still so much missing in the way Christian couples are taught about marital intimacy. How can Christians celebrate the gift of sex that God gave in marriage? Juli shares a conversation she had with the late Dr. Doug Rosenau, where he shared both what is missing and what is needed in the church when it comes to talking about the beauty of sex in marri
Mar 17, • 30:43
#557 Understanding The Harm of Purity Culture and How to Move Forward
One of the biggest criticisms of purity culture is the way it reduced sexuality to a list of do’s and don’ts, but there are lots of other reasons millennial men and women report feeling burned by it. Dr. Camden Morgante, author of “Recovering from Purity Culture”, shares some of the harmful narratives that formed the movement, and provides some alternative approaches to discussing sexuality. Guest: Dr. Camden Morgante Website: drcamden.com Instagram: @drcamden Book: Recovering From Purity
Mar 10, • 43:29
#556 Why We Can't Ignore What Offends Us About Jesus
If questions about sex lead to questions about God, it’s important that we know and follow Jesus as He really is. Rick Lawrence, author of “Editing Jesus”, joins Juli to discuss how many American Christians make Jesus into an image other than Himself. Guest: Rick Lawrence Rick’s Website: ricklawrence.com Book: Editing Jesus: Confronting the Distorted Faith of the American Church by Rick Lawrence Join our email list! Guide: “3 Reasons Questions About Sex Lead to Questions about God” Java
Mar 3, • 40:33
#555 Can You Have A Great Marriage Without Sex? Juli Answers Your Questions
In this special Q&A episode, Juli answers your questions about sex and marriage. You’ll hear answers to questions like, why did God make us sexual when it causes so much pain? Does sex matter in marriage? And, is it possible to be too focused on sex in marriage? Join Juli and Hannah for a brief exploration of good biblical theology on sex and marriage. Co-host: Hannah Nitz Hannah’s Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah’s Instagram: @hannahnitz Blog: Overcoming Sexual Shame and Fear in Marriage
Feb 24, • 39:56
#554 Sex and the Female Body: How to Swap Shame For Celebration
How can women overcome fear and shame around their bodies and embrace the beauty of God’s design for sex? Whether from purity culture, other messages, or poor experiences, many women don’t see their bodies and sex as good or beautiful. Francie Winslow, host of the podcast “Heaven in Your Home” went through her own struggle with this, and joins Juli to explain how she is learning to embrace the goodness of God’s design. Guest: Francie Winslow Website: franciewinslow.com Instagram: @franciewin
Feb 17, • 46:23
#553 Divorce and Separation: How to Know What to Do
When a marriage is in crisis, it can be hard to know what the next step should be. Is divorce the only option? Are there other steps available that couples often miss? Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family, joins Juli to talk about some of the options couples can explore. Guest: Dr. Greg Smalley Focus on the Family Website Java with Juli: #489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First Java with Juli: #519 Why we
Feb 10, • 39:35
#552 When You Want Sex More Than Your Husband Does
It’s reported that 20-30% of marriages have a higher-desire wife and lower-desire husband. This means that while many women may wish their husbands requested less sex, there are also many women who experience the opposite. For the woman who wants her husband to want sex a little more, Sheri Mueller, LCPC, author of “I Want Him to Want Me”, joins Juli to share insights, wisdom, and encouragement. Guest: Sheri Mueller, LCPC Sheri’s Website: marriagetrac.com Sheri’s Instagram: @growthtrac Boo
Feb 3, • 32:44
#551 How Keeping Secrets Keeps Us in Shame
What secret are you keeping? Many of us keep secrets to protect ourselves. But secrets also hide us from others. They can prevent us from being fully known and fully loved. Jason VanRuler, author of “Get Past Your Past”, joins Juli to share some insights about secrecy and why it’s worth us living in the light. Guest: Jason VanRuler Website: jasonvr.com Instagram: @jason.vanruler Book: Get Past Your Past by Jason VanRuler Java with Juli: #539 The Impact Of Shame And How To Overcome It
Jan 27, • 41:56
#550 What to Do When Sex is Painful
Sexual pain makes sex challenging, stressful, and a source of tension rather than a source of pleasure. Sadly, it’s a very present reality for many couples, and one that can quickly erode sexual intimacy for years or even decades. Many women are told to ‘watch porn’, ‘drink wine’, or ‘relax’, with no clear diagnosis found and no real solution given. Today’s guest, Jess Setiz, knows this reality all too well. Now a trauma-informed pelvic health practitioner, Jess struggled through painful sex for
Jan 20, • 38:57
#549 What the Latest Research Shows About Porn
How many men and women consume porn on a regular basis? How common is porn use within the church? How is porn affecting us? Nick Stumbo, Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, unpacks the surprising results of a recent study conducted by Barna on pornography use, and shares potential solutions. Guest: Nick Stumbo, Pure Desire Ministries Website: puredesire.org Instagram: @puredesirepdmi Beyond the Porn Phenomenon Report Java with Juli:
Jan 13, • 42:26
#548 How To Repair Your Relationships
What does it take to have good friendships, healthy family relationships, or a strong marriage? John Van Epp, creator of the RAM theoretical model, has some strong and well-researched ideas about what it takes to make your relationships stronger than ever. Guest: Dr. John Van Epp John’s Website: lovethinks.com Book: Endgame: The Church's Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America by John Van Epp and J.P. De Gance Book: Becoming Better Together by John Van Epp Website: ramseries.com
Jan 6, • 1:00:01
#547 How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex
Talking about sex and sexual issues with your spouse can be intimidating. Dr Corey Allan breaks down why discussing sex can be challenging for married couples, and what husbands and wives can do about it. Corey’s Website: smr.fm Corey’s Instagram: @sexymarriageradio Explore more resources on sex in marriage! Java with Juli: #528 The 3 Superpowers Your Sex Life is Missing Java with Juli: #534 Four Surprising Things Killing Your Wife’s Sex Drive
Dec 30, 2024 • 48:26
#546 Answering the Most Popular Questions on Sex, Dating, and Singleness
Juli and Hannah answer your questions about sex and singleness in this week’s special Java with Juli episode. Hannah’s Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah’s Instagram: @hannahnitz Explore resources on Singleness and Dating Check out our online book studies! Partner with Authentic Intimacy— donate today! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Dec 23, 2024 • 43:27
#545 George Barna: Parenting and Discipleship in a Sexually Chaotic World
Raising your kids to love and know Jesus has never been easy, and in a culture saturated with messages about human sexuality, it can feel next to impossible to raise your kids with biblical values and a Christian sexual ethic. How do we effectively disciple our kids? Dr. George Barna, founder of the Barna Group and America’s foremost faith and culture researcher, joins Juli to talk about his new book, “Raising Spiritual Champions”, and what parents can do to equip their kids with a robust faith.
Dec 16, 2024 • 49:02
#544 What You Need To Know About Sex, Aging and Menopause
How do you know you’ve started menopause? Can you get pregnant during menopause? What happens to your sex drive during menopause? Experts Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS, join Juli to share some crucial information about menopause, options for easing symptoms, and how husbands can be sympathetic supporters at this pivotal moment in a woman’s life. Guests: Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS Debra’s Website: debraltaylortherapy.com Mike’s Website: i
Dec 9, 2024 • 49:27
#543 How the Old Testament Reveals God's Heart for Women, Sex, and Covenant Love
Was the God of the Old Testament less benevolent than the God of the New Testament? Or are too many of us missing the greater truths and narratives woven into a beautiful, historic text? Dr. Sandra Richter, author of The Epic of Eden, joins Juli to bring a rich and refreshing perspective to women, God, and the Old Testament. Guest: Dr. Sandra Richter Sandra’s Website: linktr.ee/sandralynrichter Sandra’s Instagram: @sandralynrichter Book: The Epic of Eden: A Christian Entry into the Old Tes
Dec 2, 2024 • 42:25
#542 A Pastor, His Porn Problem, and How His Church Restored Him
What should a pastor with a porn problem do? How should his church respond? Pastor Garrett Kell joins Juli on the podcast to talk about his years-long struggle with porn, coming clean, and how his church responded to his sin. Garrett’s Instagram: @j.garrett.kell Book: Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God by J. Garrett Kell Donate to Authentic Intimacy on Giving Tuesday! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Nov 25, 2024 • 44:23
#541 Teaching Sexuality: Pitfalls, Purity Culture, and the Best Path Forward
Purity culture taught a lot of unhelpful things and left a lot of questions unanswered for believers. While it’s clear a new approach is needed, it’s challenging to know how to leave legalism behind and teach a true-to-scripture vision of sexuality. Noah Filipiak, the author of Beyond the Battle, joins Juli to share where he sees a need to educate today’s youth, and why he wrote his new book, “Needed Navigation”. Guest: Noah Filipiak Book: Beyond the Battle by Noah Filipiak Book: Needed Navi
Nov 18, 2024 • 56:16
#540 A Pastoral Perspective on Supporting Those with Gender Dysphoria
Knowing what God’s word says about a topic and walking that out in a way that honors Him and dignifies others are two very different things. So how do we move in love and integrity towards friends and loved ones struggling with gender dysphoria? Pastor Sam Ferguson joins Juli to get practical about loving the hearts of hurting people while staying rooted in God’s Word. Guest: Sam Ferguson Book: Does God Care About Gender Identity? By Sam Ferguson SUBMIT A QUESTION FOR THE SHOW! Java with J
Nov 11, 2024 • 44:56
#539 The Impact Of Shame And How To Overcome It
We all experience shame, and for many of us that shame is deeply connected to our sexuality. “Why am I drawn to sinful things?” “Will I ever overcome my addictions?” When it comes to addressing shame, few of us know how to address it effectively, so Curt Thompson, MD, author of “The Soul of Shame”, joins Juli to help explain what it is, where it comes from, and what to do with it. Guest: Curt Thompson, MD Curt’s website: curtthompsonmd.com Curt’s Instagram: @curtthompsonmd Book: The Soul o
Nov 4, 2024 • 44:54
#538 How I Rebuilt Faith In God After Church Abuse
buse so often warps our sense of self and our sense of who God is. How do you lose the lies and rediscover your faith? Author and adventurer Ryan George joins Juli to talk about how he disentangled the manipulation and abuse of his past and discovered who God really is. Guest: Ryan George Ryan’s Website: explorience.org Ryan’s Instagram: @ryplane Book: Hurt and Healed by the Church by Ryan George Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singl
Oct 28, 2024 • 44:16
#537 Can You Be a Christian Feminist?
Why did God design our bodies the way He did? Is our gender more than our bodies? What does it look like to live out our male and femaleness? Dr. Abigail Favale, author of “The Genesis of Gender”, joins Juli to talk about why our bodies matter and how to cultivate a deep and rich theology around sex and gender. Guest: Dr. Abigail Favale Abigail’s website: abigailfavale.wixsite.com/home Book: The Genesis of Gender by Dr. Abigail Favale Learn more about becoming an Authentic Intimacy me
Oct 21, 2024 • 44:18
#248 Gay Girl, Good God: Jackie Hill Perry's Story
When we struggle with sexual sin, what is God’s ultimate hope for us? Is it that we stop our sexual sin? Or does it go beyond that to addressing our sinful nature and hearts, bringing us to a place of submission and surrender? Jackie Hill Perry shares how God drew her to Himself and brought her out of a lesbian lifestyle. Guest: Jackie Hill Perry Book: Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry REGISTER FOR RECLAIM: SURRENDERED SEXUALITY! Learn more about becoming an Authentic Intimacy memb
Oct 14, 2024 • 43:59
#536 How To Help Your Kids Avoid Identity Traps
How do we root our identities in Christ and help our children do the same? Jonathan Holmes, Executive Director at Fieldstone Counseling, shares with Juli how we can avoid identity traps and teach our kids to do the same. Guest: Jonathan Holmes Jonathan’s Instagram: @akjonathanholmes Book: Grounded in Grace: Helping Kids Build Their Identity in Christ by Jonathan Holmes Get more info about Reclaim: Surrendered Sexuality! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Mar
Oct 7, 2024 • 48:51
#297 Finding Freedom in the Midst of Brokenness
Many men and women experiencing same-sex attraction struggle to imagine they can be loved by God and live a life of real freedom. Is there a future where you can be free and fulfilled? Laurence Koo, guest speaker at our upcoming Reclaim Conference, joins Juli to share what freedom looks like when you experience same-sex attraction. Guest: Laurence Koo authenticintimacy.com/reclaim2024 Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Sep 30, 2024 • 43:44
#535 What Men Weren’t Taught About Sex
The vast majority of men didn’t get a sufficient sex education. Besides a handful of condoms and advice to not get girls pregnant, wasn’t there more they needed to know about women, sex, and romance? Sam Jolman, LPC, author of “The Sex Talk You Never Got”, joins Juli to talk about what men didn’t learn about sex growing up. Guest: Sam Jolman, LPC Sam’s Website: samjolman.com Sam’s Instagram: @samjolman Java with Juli: #275: Finding Freedom from Unwanted Desires Blog: Purity Culture Failed
Sep 23, 2024 • 45:03
#534 Four Surprising Things Killing Your Wife's Sex Drive
Female sexuality is complex, with numerous factors weighing into how a woman may feel about sex at any given time. Obstacles run the gamut, from parenting young kids, to demanding jobs, and sexual pain. What about the lesser-explored reasons why a woman might not feel excited about sexual intimacy with her husband? Dr. Jennifer Degler joins Juli to share her thoughts and observations. Guest: Dr. Jennifer Degler Jennifer’s Website: jenniferdegler.com Jennifer on Instagram: @drjenniferdegl
Sep 16, 2024 • 43:18
#533 Why It Feels Impossible To Beat Your Sin
Are we supposed to battle our sin or surrender it to the one who has already defeated it? Juli and Hannah discuss the difference between struggle and surrender, the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives, and what happens when we resist God’s leading in our lives instead of embracing it. Co-host: Hannah Nitz Hannah’s Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah’s Instagram: @hannahnitz Book: Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray Find out more about Reclaim: Surrendered Sexuality Claim your free sex an
Sep 9, 2024 • 41:27
#532 How the Church Can Help Stop Domestic Abuse
Studies have shown that churches are often among the first places people turn when they are experiencing domestic abuse, but unfortunately churches aren’t always well-informed when it comes to how to help victims. Chris Moles and Stacey Womack, who work independently in organizations PeaceWorks and Abuse Recovery Ministry Services, join Juli to talk about what churches need to know when it comes to helping abuse victims. Guests: Chris Moles and Stacey Womack Chris’s Website: chrismoles.o
Sep 2, 2024 • 52:07
#531 The Basics of Talking to Kids About Sex
Discussing sexuality with children can be intimidating. As a Christian parent you long to give your kids a faith-based sex education and you want to do so without shame, but often the very first step towards this is the most challenging. Thankfully, there are more and more experts providing support and guidance in this area. Dr. Julia Sadusky, author of “Start Talking To Your Kids About Sex” and “Talking with Your Teen about Sex”, joins Juli to provide wisdom on age-appropriate sex education and
Aug 26, 2024 • 52:11
#530 Sexuality and Smartphones: How to Help Teens Thrive
How do you help your kids develop a healthy relationship with social media, avoid the traps and pitfalls, and learn how to connect with peers safely and authentically? Pastor James Talbert from Citizens Church Akron joins Juli to share what he’s learned through ministry about the good, the bad, and the ugly of social media. Guest: James Talbert Website: citizensakron.com Instagram: @citizensakron Get your free resource on answers to questions your child may have about sexuality! Java wi
Aug 19, 2024 • 44:11
#529 Modern Dating: How To Do It Well
How do you set the pace for a dating relationship? What kind of expectations should you have? How do you break up with someone without disrespecting them? Kait and JJ Tomlin from Heart of Dating join Juli to help singles navigate the ups and downs of modern dating. Guests: Kait and JJ Tomlin Heart of Dating website: heartofdating.com Heart of Dating Instagram: @heartofdating @kaitness @jjtomlin Book: Thank You for Rejecting Me by Kait Warman Tomlin Podcast: @HeartofDating Get the free Hear
Aug 12, 2024 • 56:32
#528 The 3 Superpowers Your Sex Life is Missing
Wondering how to improve your sex life? Beyond the general relationship advice and intimacy tips you might have found online, there’s an unpopular argument you might not have heard: that the key to improving your sexual connection lies with you. Christian Sex Therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma joins Juli to talk about three underrated ways couples can boost their sexual and emotional intimacy. Guest: Dr. Michael Sytsma Michael’s website: intimatemarriage.org Java with Juli: #516 Don’t Skip Forepl
Aug 5, 2024 • 42:43
#228 (Bonus) Intimacy After Infidelity
In this special re-release, Troy and Melissa Haas of HopeQuest join Juli to answer the question: Can a couple’s sexual relationship survive and thrive after infidelity? While they were serving as missionaries, Troy’s long-term addiction to pornography was revealed. As hard as this was on their marriage, Melissa soon realized she had her own issues around sexuality too. They join Juli to tell her what was wrong, and how God helped them heal and find restoration. Guests: Troy and Melissa Haas
Jul 29, 2024 • 37:05
#527 Why Friendship, not Romance, is the Greatest Love of All
Have we lost our vision for loving relationships outside the context of marriage and the nuclear family? What was the greatest love Jesus described in the Bible? Was it romantic love, or a different type of sacrificial love? Rebecca McLaughlin joins Juli to explain how we’ve minimized friendship and overemphasized sexual relationships. Guest: Rebecca McLaughlin Rebecca’s Website: rebeccamclaughlin.org Rebecca’s Instagram: @rebecc_mclaugh Book: “No Greater Love” by Rebecca McLaughlin Regi
Jul 22, 2024 • 49:32
#526 How God Heals Us From Past Abuse and Trauma
Abuse and the trauma it creates run deep. How can survivors begin to move forward? In this episode we explore a deeply personal journey of recovery from decades of sexual, physical and emotional abuse, discussing how embracing the fatherhood of God can transform your life. Author Jennifer Michelle Greenberg shares how her heavenly father and a healthy marital relationship helped her heal from her painful past. Guests: Jennifer Michelle Greenberg and Jason Greenberg Website: Jen’s website
Jul 15, 2024 • 48:04
#525 Churches and Porn: What isn't Working and How to Change it
Struggles with pornography are incredibly common within the Church, and the problem isn’t going to go away on its own. What can churches do to be an environment where it is safe for congregants and leaders to admit struggles and get the support they need to overcome them? How can those going into ministry receive sufficient discipleship and care so they can heal from past traumas, win the battle, and walk closely and authentically with Jesus? Sam Black, Director of Life Change Education at Coven
Jul 8, 2024 • 51:45
#524 Her Freedom Journey: A Powerful New Book Helping Women Overcome Porn And Sexual Shame
Introducing “Her Freedom Journey”, Juli and Joy’s brand new book! In this very special podcast episode, Joy and Juli talk about the lack of discussion around female sexuality in the Church, and particularly around issues like pornography and masturbation. Joy shares some of her personal story, and together she and Juli talk about the heart behind the new book. Guest: Dr. Joy Skarka Website: joyskarka.com Instagram: @joyskarka Listen to the episode where Joy tells her full story. Get
Jul 1, 2024 • 40:23
#523 How Past Family Patterns Impact the Way You Love Today
The way we are brought up has a significant influence on the way we form attachments with others. There are few relationships in which this is as pronounced or as obvious as marriage. Kay and Milan Yerkovich, authors of the breakthrough book, “How We Love”, want to empower couples to become more aware of the ways in which their early years formed them, and to acquire the skills to develop secure attachments for healthy, long-lasting relationships. Guests: Kay and Milan Yerkovich Book: How
Jun 24, 2024 • 49:43
#522 The Paradox of Hope and Brokenness: Jesus, Depression and SSA
In Jesus there is hope for healing and transformation, but that doesn’t mean that in this life we won’t experience hardship and brokenness. Brenna Blain, renowned speaker and new author, knows this better than most. Experiencing same-sex attraction and fighting her own mental health battle from around the age of 14, Brenna joins Juli to explain how coming to the very end of herself led her to a place desperate enough to long for God Himself, and not just His healing. Guest: Brenna Blain Bren
Jun 17, 2024 • 52:21
#521 How to Know if Your Marriage can Recover from Betrayal
My spouse keeps acting out, why won’t he stop? Is my wife still keeping secrets? How do I know if my spouse is truly repentant after betrayal? Infidelity changes everything, and relationship recovery is extremely challenging to navigate. What signs of change are you supposed to look for? How do you build trust after cheating Jeremy Smith, LPC and founder of the Marriage Recovery Course joins Juli to discuss the unique approach he’s developed to help couples heal their marriages and achieve dee
Jun 10, 2024 • 51:00
#520 Sex, Cancel Culture and the Church: How to Pursue Unity When we Disagree
Have we the Church lost our way when it comes to living in unity? What would Jesus say about Christian cancel culture and the many threads on social media where people criticize one another in the name of Christianity? God’s Word says, “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”, and yet, in the modern American Church, unity can often be hard to find. Join Juli and co-host Hannah Nitz as they discuss: The need for a biblical perspective of the Church as Christ’s bride
Jun 3, 2024 • 42:49
#519 Why we Need to be Better at Caring for Divorced People in the Church
When a marriage ends through divorce, it makes sense that the people involved would experience deep grief. So how do we care for those walking through it? What is a Christian approach to divorce-care and helping divorced individuals in the church? Laura Petherbridge, who suddenly found herself divorced at 29, joins Juli to share her experience as a divorcee, discuss the work she is doing, and explain how the Church can be a place of healing and empathy for those mourning the loss of their marria
May 27, 2024 • 53:52
#518 Single Sexuality and the Unique Challenges of Widowhood
Widowhood presents profound challenges, with loneliness permeating every aspect of life, including the realm of sexuality. The loss goes beyond losing a life partner; it extends to losing a sexual companion as well. In this week’s Java with Juli, Dr. Carol Tanksley, who became widowed after just seven years of marriage in 2016, delves into the complexities faced by widows, and sheds light on the emotional and psychological hurdles they face. She also shares her personal experience of surrenderin
May 20, 2024 • 50:14
#517 How to Beat Loneliness and Cultivate Deeper Friendships
Why are we all so lonely? Why is it that at a time when we are more connected than ever, many of us find ourselves feeling lonely and isolated? Jeff Kemp and Juli explore what’s making us feel lonely, how to bring more vulnerability and honesty into our relationships, and why understanding our identities is pivotal when it comes to cultivating deep, long-lasting friendships. Guest: Jeff Kemp Jeff’s Website: jeffkempteam.com Book: Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men by Jeff Kemp Book: Level 5
May 13, 2024 • 40:29
#516 Don't Skip Foreplay! (and Other Advice from a Christian Sex Therapist)
Married sexuality has its challenges, internal and external, and it can be tempting to quit having sex or step outside the marriage, but there are ways to address some of the issues and overcome them as a couple. Christian sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma joins Juli to talk about: How to manage mismatched libidos Why foreplay matters What to do if you experience symptoms of Erectile Dysfunction Why sex is important in marriage How to re-enter holy sexuality and eroticism after abstai
May 6, 2024 • 44:09
#515 Is Attraction Sinful? Unpacking Attachment, Safety, Love and Desire
What do your attractions say about you? Do they say anything about you? Is attraction always about sex, or are there more layers to it than we tend to think? Hannah Nitz joins Juli for a conversation all about attraction and desire. Co-host: Hannah Nitz Hannah’s Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah’s Instagram: @hannahnitz Blog: 3 Subconscious Beliefs You May Hold About Living With Same-Sex Attraction Partner with AI! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage
Apr 29, 2024 • 37:59
#514 How Deconstruction and Divorce Rocked a Young Couple's Life
For most marriages, the most challenging years are the earliest ones. Marital problems can come in any number of forms, but sometimes the most difficult to navigate are those you don’t see coming. Few know this better than Chris and Stephanie Teague, the duo behind Out of the Dust, who experienced divorce suddenly after only three and a half years of marriage. The couple join Juli to discuss exactly what happened before their marriage fell apart, and what God did in both of them to put it back t
Apr 22, 2024 • 41:28
#513 A Child Psychiatrist On The Truth About Transgender Activism
Gender dysphoria is becoming more and more common, and parents with kids who are struggling are at a loss at what to do. Should they affirm their kids? Should they approve hormone blockers? In this week’s episode of Java with Juli, Juli is joined by Dr. Miriam Grossman, a child psychiatrist and author who has testified before congress about some of the hidden dangers behind transgender activism. Guest: Dr. Miriam Grossman, MD Book: "Lost in Trans Nation: A Child Psychiatrist's Guide Out o
Apr 15, 2024 • 58:52
#512 Friends Who Hurt Us: How To Recognize Unlikely Sources Of Abuse
While many of us are familiar with the concept of abuse, we are typically familiar with the conventional stereotypes around abuse. We typically picture a younger, weaker party who is taken advantage of by a dominant person. It’s rare we picture a friend, mentor or someone we trust harming us. Unfortunately this is what happened to Tricia Lott Williford. In the same 72-hour span in which she experienced the sudden and unexpected death of her husband, she experienced sexual assault from someone
Apr 8, 2024 • 46:45
#511 Why You Need to Laugh More
Is laughter important? Why did God give us the ability to laugh? Laughter might not be top of mind when it comes to how we live as Christians or how we live in relationship with others, but laughter is a gift God has given to us, and there are many reasons why. This week, comedian, author and Pastor Ted Cunningham is Juli’s guest, and he explains the health and relational benefits of laughing much and laughing often. Guest: Ted Cunningham Website: Woodland Hills Church Book: A Love That La
Apr 1, 2024 • 42:23
#510 Influencer Anh Lin on Overcoming Trauma and Living a Beautiful Life
Accidental influencer and author of “Forever Home”, Anh Lin, shares her story of journeying through trauma and brokenness to a place of healing. You’ll hear Anh talk about: Her unlikely encounter with Jesus How she medicated her pain and grief with partying and alcohol Experiencing rock bottom, even after finding Jesus Guest: Anh Lin Anh’s website: girlandtheword.com Anh’s Instagram: @girlandtheword Book: “Forever Home: Moving Beyond Brokenness to Build a Strong and Beautiful L
Mar 25, 2024 • 43:57
#509 Workaholism And Infidelity Almost Led To Divorce, But A Miracle Saved Their Marriage
David and Terri Sumlin are the founders of Marriage Life Ministries, a ministry that helps couples improve their marriages through a focus on communication, conflict and intimacy. Years ago, when their own marriage was on the brink of divorce and rocked by a 3-month affair, this ministry was exactly what they needed. Join Juli, David and Terri, as the couple talk about how God’s intervention saved and restored their marriage. Guests: David and Terri Sumlin David and Terri’s Website: marr
Mar 18, 2024 • 53:37
#508 What Does Healthy Masculinity Actually Look Like?
What can we learn from close examination of the lives of the men we read about in scripture? These were real people,who the Bible reveals had their own very human struggles, battling insecurity, pride, deception, and lust. This week’s podcast guest, Chase Replogle, is a pastor at Bent Oak Church in Missouri, and is the author of “The Five Masculine Instincts". The book covers the lessons we can learn from male Biblical figures like Samson, Moses, and Cain. This is a great episode that discusses
Mar 11, 2024 • 1:00:47
#507 What You Need To Know About The Gender Conversation
Is there a theological approach or framework to understanding gender? Is there scriptural support for the messages we receive about gender from movies, books, and institutions? And what does it mean for us to live as ‘lights on a hill’ within a culture that continually evolves in its discussions about gender and sexual issues? Join John and Sarah Stonestreet from the Colson Center as they join Juli in exploring some of the underlying beliefs surrounding sexuality in our culture, and talk about h
Mar 4, 2024 • 50:06
#506 How To Make Sense Of Grief And God's Goodness
Ed and Lisa Young, founding pastors of Fellowship Church, join Juli for an honest and faith-filled conversation about their journey through grief. The couple’s oldest daughter, Lee-Beth, passed away a little over two years ago after an ongoing battle with poor mental health and alcohol abuse, and in this powerful interview, they share about the unexpected comfort and hope they discovered as they wrestled with their pain, loss and sorrow and held their faith in tandem. Guests: Ed and Lisa You
Feb 26, 2024 • 47:00
#505 What Does it Look Like to Struggle with Sexual Sin and Still Love Jesus?
For too long, many Christians have heard and believed the misconception that living in God’s freedom and redemption means they’ll never struggle with sin or temptation. This is one of the things the Bible is pretty clear on. The heroes of the faith like Paul, David, Moses, and Abraham loved and new God and still lived imperfectly. Maybe it’s time for us to recognize that being saved doesn’t mean we’ll never sin again, but that it means we’re on a journey of loving Jesus, pursuing Him, falling sh
Feb 19, 2024 • 39:48
#504 Painful Intercourse, Fake Orgasms, And Aging Sex: Answers To The Most Popular Sex Questions
What does it look like to let God reclaim sex in your marriage…when sex is painful? Or when it feels like an obligation? Or when your spouse wants to engage in BDSM? In this special Live Q&A episode from Reclaim 2022, Juli is joined by Dr. Jennifer Degler and Dr. Michael Sytsma as they provide biblical, practical answers to questions on sex that some of us are too afraid to ask. Guests: Dr. Jennifer Degler and Dr. Michael Sytsma Jennifer’s Website: jenniferdegler.com/ Mike’s Website: intimat
Feb 12, 2024 • 48:16
#503 Lies, Pornography and Sex Addiction Almost Ended Their Marriage, Now They Help Others Find Hope
It’s one thing to hear someone say secrets and sexual addiction are destructive to a marriage and a family, it’s another thing entirely to experience it. Phil and Priscilla Fretwell understand this more than most. One afternoon, while her husband was at work, Priscilla got a call from the video store enquiring for an overdue video. Shocked and confused, she called her husband to ask him about it. His only response was: ‘I’m coming home’. Many years, tears and miracles later, Phil and Priscilla h
Feb 5, 2024 • 56:08
#502 How to Understand and Overcome the Challenges of Postpartum Sex
Pregnancy has its ups and downs, but where the rubber hits the road for most is postpartum. If you’re a woman who has had a baby or you’re a man married to one, you understand that there are fairly common challenges specifically around postpartum sex. There’s a lot to navigate—changing bodies, new responsibilities, challenging hormones, it’s no wonder women struggle to figure out how they feel about sex and couples are hard pressed to find a new sexual rhythm. In this much-needed and highly requ
Jan 29, 2024 • 47:48
#501 Going Beyond a Superficial Faith - with guest Jackie Hill Perry
How do we move from a faith that is shallow and superficial to one that is rooted in relationship? What does it take to take a prayer life that feels like a duty and make it into one of delight? Author, teacher, and poet Jackie Hill Perry joins Juli to talk about the inspiration behind her latest book, “Upon Waking”, and why God isn’t looking at the amount of time we spend with Him so much as He’s looking at the condition of our hearts. Guest: Jackie Hill Perry Website: jackiehillperry.com I
Jan 22, 2024 • 42:12
#500 Sex, Faith and Family: Conversations Every Couple Should Have Pre-Marriage
We’ve all heard it said many times that marriage can be tough. But it’s possible we don’t discuss enough how good, sweet, and awesome marriage can be! Scott Kedersha, marriage pastor and author, joins Juli to share some of the things he’s learned in almost two decades of marriage ministry. In this episode, Juli and Scott discuss: How couples should handle sexual history and ongoing issues What qualities to look for in a potential spouse When to call off an engagement The role of prayer a
Jan 15, 2024 • 51:38
#499 How Vulnerability Can Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma
If you caught someone in sin, how would you respond to them? Tim Ross was 18 years old when his mother caught him watching porn. Her response was to ask one question: “What are you doing?” and then to turn, walk away, and pray. 30 years later that night remains seared in Tim’s memory as the night grace, mercy and truth reached in and pulled him out of darkness and into light. Tim tells Juli: What finally prompted him to share what he had been through How a faith-filled response led him to mo
Jan 8, 2024 • 45:32
#498 The Surprising Thing You're Missing In Your Healing Journey
What’s getting in the way of you becoming more like Christ? Could it be that while your knowledge of God is good, you haven’t embraced how He has designed you on your journey to become more like Him? Author and consultant Michel Hendricks is the first guest of 2024 for Java with Juli. He shares what he has observed from his years working as a Pastor of Spiritual Formation, and what he has learned from adopting a more right-brained approach to discipleship and formation. His advice may surprise y
Jan 1, 2024 • 47:45
#497 Trying to Heal? Here's Why Knowing Your Story is Essential
When was the last time you took time to reflect on your story? As you reflect on the year you’ve had, why not take some time to think more about your past and do some healing work? Cathy Loerzel, co-founder of The Allender Center and co-author of “Redeeming Heartache” joins Juli to talk about why sharing and hearing our stories helps us heal from past trauma and is crucial for cultivating emotional and spiritual maturity. Guest: Cathy Loerzel Website: cathyloerzel.com Cathy’s Instagram: @c
Dec 28, 2023 • 40:13
#496 Seeking Truth on Singleness, Married Sexuality and LGBTQ+ Issues - A 2023 Recap
Join Juli and Hannah as they revisit some of the common themes, topics and questions from this year’s Java with Juli episodes. Juli and Hannah address some of the following questions: Can God reach the LGBTQ+ community? When did culture begin to emphasize sexual identity and pronouns? Have we made an idol of marriage and forgotten the dignity of singleness? Grab your coffee, get comfortable, and explore some of the common themes and lessons from 2023. Guest: Hannah Nitz Hannah’s Instagra
Dec 18, 2023 • 46:04
#495 Why Narratives About Sex Matter
What are the stories you’re telling yourself about who you are, about who God is, and about what life is supposed to look like? We’re all telling ourselves stories all the time. And those stories matter, because we interpret our experiences through them, and those narratives really heavily influence the choices we make and the people we become. Author Jennifer L Holberg joins Juli on the podcast to discuss her book, “Nourishing Narratives”, and explains why we need to challenge the narratives we
Dec 11, 2023 • 37:01
#494 Purity Culture, Men and Sexual Entitlement
We all know the purity narrative had its downsides for women, but what about men? Is it possible the purity narrative failed men too? What were men taught to do with feelings of lust? What harmful ideas were passed on in an effort to protect purity? Noah Filipiak, author, pastor, and founder of Beyond Ministries, joins Juli to unpack some of the messages men heard, and provide insight on where things need to change. Guest: Noah Filipiak Noah’s Instagram: @noahfilipiak Noah’s Website: noahfil
Dec 4, 2023 • 44:55
#493 How the Bible’s Teachings About Sex Reveal God’s Goodness
Is God really good? This is a question many people today are left asking as they consider biblical values on sexuality. The Bible comments on everything from same-sex attraction, the heart of marriage, singleness, and the cost of discipleship, and in this episode Juli and her guest, author and pastor Sam Allberry, unpack these topics. Sam is a frequent guest on the podcast who talks with honesty, humility, and wisdom about a lot of the hot button sexual topics of our modern culture. Guest: Sam
Nov 27, 2023 • 46:23
#492 How Human Trafficking Causes Us to Rethink What We Believe About God
Even with all the scriptures tell us of God’s capacity for miracles, many of us still often wonder, “Is God able to heal me? Is He really greater than the challenges I face?” There aren’t many things that show the depths of sin and brokenness in humanity like the horror of human trafficking. If you’ve watched a documentary on human trafficking or know someone personally impacted by it, it’s clear there is so much brokenness in both the victims and their perpetrators. Thankfully, God is greater t
Nov 20, 2023 • 38:59
#491 Why Debates About Women's Roles Might be Missing the Point
Are men and women called to have the same kind of roles? Are women supposed to support men but not lead them, or lead alongside them? This is a sensitive ongoing discussion in the American Church. In this episode, author and esteemed theologian Dr. Michelle Lee-Barnewall joins Juli to discuss why this debate misses God’s heart for how men and women should relate to each other in the family of God. Guest: Dr. Michelle Lee-Barnewall Book: Neither Complementarian nor Egalitarian by Dr. Mich
Nov 13, 2023 • 41:35
#490 How Do You Go From Being Stuck in Bondage to True Freedom?
On the journey of healing and recovery, it can be easy to wonder if things will “always be this way”, or feel like the challenges “will never stop”. The reality is that it often takes more than we expect to go from death to life. While the Bible says that real and lasting transformation is available to us, it can be hard to understand what part we have to play and where God is doing the work. Jonathan Daugherty, founder of Be Broken Ministries, will tell you true transformation is grace-led. He
Nov 6, 2023 • 46:18
#489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First
In marriages where one or both partners are unhappy, divorce is a very real consideration. But imagine that you sit down with a divorce attorney, tell her you and your spouse argue all the time and can’t see eye to eye, and after nodding quietly, she gives you the following advice: before you split, take inventory. Sound unconventional? This is the advice from divorce attorney Toni Nieuwhof, who, along with her husband, pastor-turned-leader-coach Carey Nieuwhof, has seen many couples walk throug
Oct 30, 2023 • 47:46
#363 (Bonus) Why Are Christians Afraid Of the LGBTQ+ Conversation?
Do you actually have a Biblical sexual ethic? Do you know what the scripture says about your sexuality? Or have you simply made assumptions about what the Bible says about sex based on what you’ve heard others say? In this timely and necessary special edition bonus episode rounding out our series on various topics around God, sex and intimacy, Rachel Gilson joins Juli to discuss why it’s more important than ever to maintain a high view of the Bible, and know what the Bible actually says about ou
Oct 26, 2023 • 1:01:48
#488 What Does the Bible Really Say About Same-Sex Marriage?
Preston Sprinkle, author of “People to be Loved,” joins Juli on the podcast to discuss his latest book “Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?” and tackles arguably one of the most sensitive and hotly discussed topics of our time. Knowing what God’s Word says is growing increasingly important, and in this conversation Juli and Preston examine some of the beliefs and arguments surrounding sexuality through the lens of biblical truth. Guest: Preston Sprinkle Preston’s Twitter: @PrestonSprin
Oct 23, 2023 • 41:58
#257 (Bonus) How Trauma Affects Our Bodies & Souls
As embodied, integrated beings the experiences we have, positive and negative alike, affect our souls, our bodies, and our minds. This means that regardless of whether a trauma you experienced was physical or emotional trauma, it leaves a mark on all of you. Susie Larson, author, speaker, and radio show host, joins Juli to explain how what we experience in life affects every part of us, and provides insight on how to journey toward healing when the scars run deep. Guest: Susie Larson Susi
Oct 19, 2023 • 40:48
#487 How to Cling to God When Your World is Falling Apart
How do you cling to your faith in God when life gets hard? What does it look like to have an unshakeable faith? And how do you cultivate it? Michele Cushatt, author, speaker, Bible-teacher, and 3-time cancer survivor, joins Juli in this honest, gritty, and hope-filled episode about knowing a God who meets us in our most painful places, and holding onto Him with all our hearts. Guest: Michele Cushatt Michele’s Instagram: @michelecushatt Website: michelecushatt.com Book: A Faith That Will No
Oct 16, 2023 • 20:17
#316 (Bonus) Sorry Mom & Dad, the "Sex Talk" Doesn't Work
When it comes to educating kids about sexuality, a ‘one and done’ conversational approach is just not enough to equip them with the knowledge and understanding they need to make sense of sex and gender in our cultural landscape. So if that doesn’t work, what should we be doing? As we continue our series working through different themes around God and sexuality, Juli and Hannah Nitz sit down in this special edition bonus episode to explain what it looks like to teach your kids about biblical sexu
Oct 12, 2023 • 43:01
#486 Teaching Sexual Discipleship: How to Walk in Truth and Love with LGBTQ+ Kids
How do we embrace the truth of God’s word while loving those He also calls us to love? What are some of the practical challenges of that when those we’re disagreeing with are our children? In this episode, Kelly Urbon, founder of Walk With Them, discusses the work she is doing in counseling and coaching parents and families of those who identify as LGBTQ+, and explains why it is so necessary. Guest: Kelly Urbon Website: Walk With Them Java with Juli: #285 Loving Without Compromise (Memb
Oct 9, 2023 • 5:36
#386 (Bonus) What's the Secret To Getting the Marriage & Intimacy You Want? Go Vertical
When Dave Wilson’s wife Ann told him she no longer had feelings for him, there are a number of responses he could have had. The one he chose might surprise you. Rather than lashing out in disbelief, Dave experienced the conviction of the Holy Spirit and went straight onto his knees in repentance. As God touched His heart, He touched Ann’s as well. Could it be that many of us are missing the supernatural element of our marriages? What would happen if we allowed God to do the work He seeks to do i
Oct 5, 2023 • 48:08
#485 Your Marriage Won't Survive Without Grace: Why Marriages Built on Performance Fall Apart
When you’re trying to diagnose what’s missing in your marital relationship, chances are you probably won’t attribute challenges to a lack of grace. But what if grace is the missing piece? Brad and Marilyn Rhoads of Grace Marriage join Juli to share their story. They unpack how God showed them the key role grace had to play in their marriage, how it brought them closer, and how it helped brace their relationship through challenging emotional seasons. Guests: Brad and Marilyn Rhoads Gr
Oct 2, 2023 • 35:43
#454 (Bonus) Mismatched in Sexual Desire? You May Be Closer Than You Think
If you’re a married person feeling like there’s a giant chasm between the level of sexual desire you and your spouse experience, this special re-air episode is for you. Through over two years of research and work, Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma surveyed and documented numerous married couples, examining the way they connect around sexual intimacy in their marriage. They investigated trends, causality, and correlation all in a bid to help couples bridge the gaps they experience in their
Sep 28, 2023 • 57:14
#484 Duty Sex, Feeling Objectified, and Other Reasons Women Don't Enjoy Sex in Marriage
It’s week three of our 7-week series exploring different themes around God, sex and intimacy, and this week, it’s all about sex in Marriage. Every couple wants a healthy, satisfying sex life, but achieving one isn’t always straightforward. What does it look like to build sexual intimacy when your spouse has a lower drive than you do? What is the most effective way for you to pursue your spouse? And is having sex with your spouse more frequently the answer to their porn addiction? Juli is joined
Sep 25, 2023 • 44:20
#388 (Bonus) Single & Sexually Whole
If God made you sexual and you’re single, what are you supposed to do with your sexual desires? It’s true that the path to sexual integrity for the single believer has long been a rocky one. When a Christian man or woman experiences attraction and rising hormones, is he or she supposed to ignore or suppress their sexuality? Or is there more to being a sexual being than we’ve previously given thought to? In this special edition bonus episode, Juli is joined by the late Dr. Doug Rosenau, and they
Sep 21, 2023 • 42:27
#483 Why You Need a New Theology of Singleness, Even if You're Married
Join Juli and her guest Dr. Danielle Treweek as we kick off week two of our 7-week series exploring various themes around God, sex and intimacy. This week we look at singleness and ask the question: Have we as the Church misrepresented and misunderstood singleness? Dani is the author of “The Meaning of Singleness,” a book which seeks to help individuals and the Church recover a biblically accurate theology of singleness. Get ready for a conversation filled with grace, passion, and truth as Dani
Sep 18, 2023 • 48:11
#211 (Bonus) Understanding Pornography Addiction
Have you ever given thought to what drives people towards pornography? While for many the initial introduction to porn is due to curiosity, it might surprise you to know that there are many different emotional and cognitive reasons people continue to turn to porn and struggle to break the addiction. In this special edition bonus episode, revisit Juli and Jonathan Daughtery of Be Broken Ministries as Jonathan shares some of his story, and what he believes to be some of the many reasons people kee
Sep 14, 2023 • 31:35
#482 Trying to Overcome a Sexual Addiction? Here's Why You Can't Do It Alone
This is the first episode in a 7-part series on different themes around God, sex, and intimacy, and is focused on how we can find freedom from sexual sin. In this episode, Juli is joined by podcaster, author, and former pastor Nate Larkin, as he shares about his journey breaking free from an addiction to pornography that almost destroyed his marriage. Website: Samson Society Podcast: Pirate Monks Podcast Java with Juli: #241 Women Struggle With Porn Too Blog: What Should You Do If Your Husb
Sep 11, 2023 • 47:18
#481 Learning, Leading, and Growing: A Reflection on 10 Years of Java with Juli
10 years of Java with Juli! It’s been 10 years since Java with Juli launched, and there have been over 400 podcast episodes aired in that time. Juli has talked about it all: divorce, porn and masturbation, same-sex attraction, discipling kids in biblical sexuality, gender identity, painful sex, and building marital intimacy. In this very special celebratory episode, Juli and Hannah sit down and talk about the heart and mission of Java with Juli, what Juli has learned over the last 10 years,
Sep 4, 2023 • 52:50
#480 How to Heal and Rebuild Trust and Sexual Intimacy After An Affair
Why do people cheat? And is it possible to reconcile after you or your spouse has been unfaithful? In this episode, Juli is joined by Jessica McDaniel, LPC, as they discuss the roles of disclosure, honesty, patience, and commitment in repairing a marriage that has been affected by infidelity. Infidelity hurts everyone involved, and as Jessica shares, it takes everyone working together to overcome it. Guest: Jessica McDaniel, LPC Jessica’s Instagram: @mcdanielcounseling Jessica’s Website: m
Aug 28, 2023 • 48:16
#479 More Than Just Behavior: Why Your Struggles With Sexual Sin Run Deeper Than You Think
What if your sexual desires and struggles could help you achieve deeper healing? In this episode, Juli hosts author and licensed mental health counselor Jay Stringer. Jay is deeply curious about the inner workings of our minds, and he loves to help people connect the dots between their sin struggles, the challenges they face, and the places they need healing in their hearts. Join Juli and Jay as they discuss how research helps us make sense of our sin and equips us to free ourselves from unwante
Aug 21, 2023 • 48:07
#478 How to Love and Lead Your Adult Kids with Jim Burns
How do you parent your adult children well after they've left the nest? What does it look like to hold steadfast to your beliefs while loving an adult child who has chosen to live differently? And are your children's choices your fault? These are some of the questions Juli asks in today's interview with guest Jim Burns, a well-known teacher in the field of marriage and family, and the president of the organization HomeWord. Jim shares from both his experience and his expertise, and has a lot of
Aug 14, 2023 • 49:17
#477 In-Laws or Outlaws? How to Handle The Challenge of Setting Boundaries with In-Laws
Is there a difference between loving parental guidance, and overreaching parental interference? How can a couple set boundaries with their in-laws? And how can in-laws give their adult children the space they need to establish strong foundations for their marriages? While many of us are familiar with the verse about leaving and cleaving, the practicalities of doing so can be challenging when there are parents and wider family who long to provide support in an important new phase of life. Juli in
Aug 7, 2023 • 42:49
#476 When God Ran: How God’s Love Found a Woman Lost In Shame
Seasoned Christians know that while our perfection is in process, we still live in the tension of the weakness of our flesh and the hope of becoming fully like our Savior. What does that look and feel like when you have lengthy and ongoing struggles with your flesh? This is Julia’s story, and it’s the story she shares in this honest, insightful and hope-filled podcast episode. Julia is a part of the Authentic Intimacy team, and joins Juli to discuss sexual sin, God’s love and kindness, and the c
Jul 31, 2023 • 51:35
#475 Why Empathy, Inner Healing, and Teamwork Are at the Heart of Building Intimacy
It isn’t uncommon for a couple committed to God and committed to each other to struggle to build intimacy. While it might seem like the issues and challenges you’re facing are all external, it’s often the case that there’s internal work that needs to be done. Sean and Lanette Reed join Juli in this episode to discuss how humility, faith, and empathy, helped them bridge gaps to create true intimacy. Guests: Sean and Lanette Reed Sean and Lanette’s Instagram: @seanandlanettereed Sean and Lane
Jul 24, 2023 • 51:12
#474 A Rebel's Manifesto: How to Live Holy Different with Sean McDowell
What does it look like to live life as a Christian counter-culturally? How are we called to be in the world but not of the world when it comes to engaging with others, sharing the gospel, and addressing our own sin? In this interview, Juli hosts author and professor Sean McDowell as they discuss his new book, "A Rebel's Manifesto." The book serves as a call and challenge to today's Christians, urging them to revisit God's Word and rethink what it means to be salt and light. This conversation is
Jul 17, 2023 • 55:59
#473 Repentance, Redemption, and Revolution: How to Accept the Invitation of Godly Sexuality
What does it actually look like to accept the invitation to reclaim God’s design for sexuality in your life? Is the path straight, wide, and flat, or narrow, bumpy, and full of twists and turns? In this episode of Java with Juli, Juli hosts guests Cole and Caitlin Zick of Moral Revolution as they discuss their polar-opposite experiences embracing their sexuality as God intended. Guests: Cole and Caitlin Zick Cole’s Instagram: @colezick Caitlin’s Instagram: @caitlinzick Moral Revolution on In
Jul 10, 2023 • 54:01
#472 Embracing Grief: Why We Need to Connect Sadness, Gratitude, and Celebration
It can often be tempting to push through the uncomfortable feelings that come with loss and try to just keep calm and carry on. But is that what we’re called to as followers of Christ? If Christ Himself took time to grieve, shouldn’t we? Dr Greg and Erin Smalley join Juli on this episode of Java with Juli as they discuss the need to face and make sense of our pain so we can embrace real joy. Guests: Dr. Greg Smalley and Erin Smalley Greg and Erin on Instagram: @focusmarriage Greg and Erin o
Jul 3, 2023 • 35:58
#471 How to Understand, Celebrate, and Leverage Neurological Differences in Relationships
There are always differences in relationships – differences in culture, differences in family of origin, differences in communication and conflict style – but what if you and someone you love just think differently? The thing is, while we may live in a world designed for neurotypical people, the world is full of people who are neurodivergent; those of us who process, learn, experience and interact with the world in ways not considered typical. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Kelli Willard
Jun 26, 2023 • 44:25
#470 Why Did We Start Hating Men? The Toxic War on Masculinity with Nancy Pearcey
When did it become normal for us as a culture not to like men? In this episode Juli’s guest is Nancy Pearcey, esteemed scholar, and author of “The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes”. She joins Juli to discuss the roots of toxic masculinity, what it means to be a good man, and how to combat the negativity around what it really means to be a man. Guest: Nancy Pearcey Nancy’s Twitter: @NancyRPearcey Nancy’s website: nancypearcey.com/ Book: The Toxic War on Masculi
Jun 19, 2023 • 50:53
#469 Porn, Rape Culture, and Why The Battle Against Sexual Assault Starts at Home
Did you know that on average, each year, around 463,634 Americans are victims of sexual assault? That’s a heartbreaking statistic, and it reveals a very real source of pain and trauma in contemporary American culture. What causes people to commit sexual assault? Is there a way to stop it? Dr. John Foubert joins Juli to discuss some of the reasons these numbers are so high, and what can and needs to be done to prevent sexual assault from happening. Guest: Dr. John Foubert John’s Twitter: @J
Jun 12, 2023 • 41:02
#468 Teaching Your Kids How to Love Their Bodies with Francie Winslow
How do we teach kids that God made their bodies and that He made their bodies good? Are there creative and intentional ways to connect with kids and help them develop a Biblical theology around their bodies? In this episode, Juli connects with her friend Francie Winslow, a mother of six on a mission to imprint upon the hearts of her children the beauty of God’s design of their bodies and vision for their sexuality. Guest: Francie Winslow Francie’s Instagram: @franciewinslow Francie’s Websi
Jun 5, 2023 • 36:00
#467 Yes, Your Marriage Is Worth Fighting For (Here's How to Save It)
While it may be the case that many people view marriage as a periphery issue, Juli’s guest, Pastor John McGee, argues that the way we love one another in marriage is one of the ways in which our faith is truly evident — “Marriage teaches us about the gospel, and the gospel teaches us about marriage.” Tune in to today’s episode of Java with Juli to discover some of what is missing in common teaching on marriage, and how leaning into the truth of the gospel equips us to love better, not just in ma
May 29, 2023 • 37:42
#466 Enough is Enough: Recognizing and Combating Abusive Relationships
Is there a difference between a bad relationship and a harmful one? How can you spot the difference, both in your own relationships and those of your friends and family? Join Juli and Dr. David Clarke as they discuss how to recognize abuse patterns of behavior, how to set boundaries, and when necessary, how to get out and create safety elsewhere. Guest: Dr. David Clarke Website: davideclarkephd.com/ Book: Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God's Help
May 22, 2023 • 50:46
#465 Love Dares: Using Playfulness to Build Sexual Intimacy
If you’re a husband or wife who finds sex dull or monotonous, it may be time for you to revisit the way God designed marital sex. The truth is that God desires for you to enjoy building sexual intimacy with your spouse, not just endure it. In this podcast episode, Juli and guest Dr. Jennifer Degler talk about how God gives the gift of sexual play to couples, and the practical (and fun!) ways you can connect with your spouse. Guest: Dr. Jennifer Degler Jennifer’s Instagram: @drjenniferdegler Je
May 15, 2023 • 43:06
#464 Why We Need to Remember The Dignity of Singleness
Is it possible your view of singleness and marriage is less than Holy? Is it possible to find contentment, not in whether we are single or married, but in Jesus Himself? Juli and Sam Allberry discuss the dignity of singleness, finding contentment in Christ, and the key to true friendship. Guest: Sam Allberry Sam’s Twitter: @SamAllberry Sam’s Instagram: @SamAllberry Sam’s Website: https://samallberry.com/ Sam's Book: 7 Myths About Singleness Java with Juli: #450 Breaking the Marriage Idol Book:
May 8, 2023 • 40:57
#463 (Bonus) The Need for Grace in Church-Based Conversations About Sex and Gender
When it comes to discussions around sex, historically the church has stayed quiet. As more and more pastors, authors, and psychologists within the church begin writing and talking about sex, the challenge becomes how to make these discussions accessible, nuanced, grace-filled, and Bible-based. In this episode, Juli speaks again with author and pastor Joshua Butler, as together they examine the challenges surrounding talking about sex from within the church. Guest: Joshua Butler Josh’s Instag
May 5, 2023 • 44:33
#462 Beautiful Union: How Our Sexuality Reveals God’s Heart for Covenant Love
What if sex and gender are not as arbitrary as many people tend to think? Is it possible that God has woven holy significance into our very DNA as gendered, sexual beings? In this episode, Juli sits down with author Joshua Butler to talk about his book, “Beautiful Union”, and the ways we can see God’s gospel message evidenced in everything from the beauty of a sunset to our own sexuality. Guest: Joshua Butler Josh’s Instagram: @joshuabutlerphx Josh’s Twitter: @butlerjosh Josh’s Website: https:
May 1, 2023 • 39:30
#461 Pride, Lust, and Why We Do Things We Don't Want To Do
Juli Slattery and Jonathan Pokluda tackle tough questions about how to find freedom from the sin that we hate, the difference between regret and self condemnation, and how the gospel is good news for all of us. Guest: Jonathan "JP" Pokluda Show Notes: Why Do I Do What I Don't Want To Do? by Jonathan Pokluda Why Is Healing So Hard? (Juli's blog) Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray More from JP, #429 How to Find Love When Dating Has Changed (member exclusive)
Apr 24, 2023 • 47:02
#460 How To Have Mini and Many Conversations About Sexuality With Your Kids
How do you talk to young kids about sex? Keep conversations small and have them often. Justin and Lindsey Holcomb are back to share insights on talking to your kids about their bodies, God's design for sexuality, and the boundaries of healthy touch. Guests: Justin and Lindsey Holcomb Show notes: Java #459 How Sexual Abuse Affects You (And Why God Is Still Trustworthy) with Justin and Lindsey God Made All of Me by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb God Made Me in His Image by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb
Apr 17, 2023 • 32:46
#459 How Sexual Abuse Affects You (And Why God Is Still Trustworthy)
"What happened to me wasn't rape." "I didn't stop it right away." "I shouldn't have been at that party in the first place." If you've ever had thoughts like these, about yourself or someone else, your definition of sexual abuse is too narrow. Join us to learn what sexual abuse is and what consent isn't. (And, if you've never been a victim of sexual assault, trust us, you know someone who has. This conversation is for you, too.) Guests: Justin and Lindsey Holcomb Show notes: Join an online book
Apr 10, 2023 • 52:18
#458 Why Women Are Leaving the Church (And How To Find Your Way Back)
In the last ten years, some 16 million women have stopped going to church. Are you one of them? Join us for a conversation about why we've been rethinking church—and why it may be time for you to go back. Guest: Ericka Andersen Show notes: Spring online book studies are open! Register here. A Reason to Return; Why Women Need the Church and the Church Needs Women by Ericka Andersen Church Is Good for You. It's Time to Go Back (Juli's blog)
Apr 3, 2023 • 36:27
#457 How To Build a Flourishing (not Flawless) Sex Life You'll Both Love
Take the guess work out of your sex life and learn how to tell (or show) your spouse what feels good in the bedroom. Guest: Dr. Corey Allan Show notes: Apply to join the Coaching Intensive for Wives Struggling with Sexual Pain The "Passionately Married Podcast" with Dr. Corey and Pam Allan Java #407 Masturbation: The No.1 Question You're Asking Us (exclusive content) Masturbation: Is It Wrong? (en Espanol) (Juli's blog) What's OK in the Bedroom? (Juli's blog) Your Sexual Differences Can Make
Mar 27, 2023 • 49:17
#456 Overcoming Father Wounds: Trading My Pain for God's Perfect Love
Kia Stephens knows many women (like herself) who looked to the arms of other men for the affirmation they longed to receive from their fathers. You'll love her humor, wisdom, and vulnerability as she shares how she traded the pain of what her earthly father couldn’t give her for the perfect love of her heavenly Father. Guest: Kia Stephens Show notes: Overcoming Father Wounds by Kia Stephens Take the Father Wounds Quiz Leave us a rating and review
Mar 20, 2023 • 43:07
#223 A Christian Counselor and a Little “Grit” Can Take You a Long Way
Tired of having the same fight with your spouse—over and over again? Are you stuck in a place of shame or grief or bitterness? Juli sits down with Greg and Erin Smalley today to encourage you to find a Christian counselor to help you get, well, unstuck. Guests: Dr. Greg & Erin Smalley Show notes: God, Sex, and Your Marriage workbook, by Dr. Juli Slattery How to Choose a Wise Counselor (Juli's blog) The FOTF Network of Christian Counselors Fight Your Way To a Better Marriage by Greg and Erin
Mar 13, 2023 • 34:25
#455 How God Changed My Heart (Even After I Changed My Gender) with Laura Smalts
For most of her childhood, Laura wanted to be a boy. In her 20s, she began hormone therapy, had surgery and lived as Jake for nine years. But she could never quite shake the feeling that none of it was real. "I remember looking at the photo on my driver's license and saying, 'I'm not as happy as I think I am.'" In this episode, Laura shares her remarkable story of desperation, hope and transformation. Guest: Laura Perry Smalts Show notes: Transgender to Transformed by Laura Perry Smalts* Java
Mar 6, 2023 • 1:22:17
#454 Mismatched in Sexual Desire? You May Be Closer Than You Think
Are you sexually mismatched in marriage? Do you feel like you're in "drive" all the time while your spouse is in neutral (or putting on the brakes)? Here's good news: You're likely closer than you think. Join us to learn about the two types of desire, "receptive desire" and "initiating desire," and how to build a bridge between to the two. Guests: Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Systma Show notes: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Mich
Feb 27, 2023 • 58:48
#453 Teens Are Anxious, Sad and Lonely. Here's How You Can Help
Teen girls and LGBQ+ youth are experiencing more sadness, hopelessness, and violence than ever before. Join Juli and Dr. Mark Mayfield, an expert in suicide prevention, to learn what you can do to help the teens in your life feel seen, loved, and valued. Guest: Dr. Mark Mayfield Shownotes: The Path Out of Loneliness Dr. Mark Mayfield Help! My Teen is Self-Injuring (PDF) Connect with your teen using tools from Axis.org* From the CDC: U.S. Teen Girls Experiencing Increased Sadness and Violence
Feb 20, 2023 • 39:58
#452 Porn Addiction in Marriage: How to Let God Redeem Your Story
More than 50 percent of wives of sex addicts experience symptoms of betrayal trauma. Today Dannah Gresh shares how her husband's addiction affected her marriage, mind, and body. Hear how the power of Jesus, and the right balance of biblical and clinical care, brought more than just recovery—it brought redemption. Guest: Dannah Gresh Show notes: Happily Even After by Dannah Gresh* How to Choose a Wise Christian Counselor (Juli's blog) Find a Christian counselor near you (FOTF Network of Chris
Feb 13, 2023 • 50:46
#451 Porn Addiction and Women: Break the Silence, Bring the Hope
When it comes to porn, the gender gap is closing. Women (Christian women, too) are using porn and feeling alone, ashamed, and trapped in their addiction. Join us to learn why overcoming porn and sexual shame is not about changing your behavior but about allowing Jesus to transform your identity. Guest: Jessica Harris Show notes: Quenched:Discovering God's Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame by Jessica Harris* Leave us a Rating & Review on Apple Podcasts or your
Feb 6, 2023 • 54:02
#450 Breaking the Marriage Idol
We're just gonna to say it. There's an unspoken assumption in the Church that if you're single there must something wrong with you—and that marriage can fix it. Are you guilty of having this thought? Join the converstion about how we've idolized marriage and how we can do better. Guest: Dr. Kutter Callaway (www.kuttercallaway.com) Show notes: Breaking the Marriage Idol by Kutter Callaway* Sex & the Single Christian: What Kind of a Gift Is Sexuality if I Can't Have Sex? Sex & the Single Christia
Jan 30, 2023 • 48:36
#449 How to Guide Your Kids Through Confusing Messages About Gender
Juli and her guest share wisdom and encouragement to help you give clear answers to your kids' questions about their gender and the way God created them. Guest: Dr. Kathy Koch Show notes: Celebrate Kids, www.celebratekids.com Start with the Heart by Dr. Kathy Koch* Parenting Through Weakness (Juli's blog) Java #396: Diverse Gender Identities: How To See the People Behind the Issue with Mark Yarhouse Java #397: How to Help Families Navigate Questions About Gender Identity with Mark Yarhouse *A
Jan 23, 2023 • 49:39
#448: When Did Sexual Identity Become a Thing? (and Why Are We Obsessed With It?)
Sexual identity has become a common phrase, a personal choice, a political cause and, for many, the way we present ourselves to others (used even by tweens and teens who’ve never had a sexual experience)—and it feels like it all happened overnight. Do you ever wonder how we got here? Grab your Java and join us. Guest: Dr. Carl Trueman Show notes: Strange New World by Dr. Carl Trueman* The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Dr. Carl Trueman* Sexual Discipleship: What Is It and Why Is It Imp
Jan 16, 2023 • 46:37
230 Juli and Linda Answer Your Questions on Marriage
Juli Slattery opens the Authentic Intimacy inbox and tackles questions like: Should my spouse be my best friend? What do you do when your husband can't stop looking at porn? And, did God create sex primarily for men? Co-hosts: Linda Dillow and Yvette Maher Show notes: Juli's blog series on prioritizing sexual intimacy. My Husband Isn't My Best Friend (read the blog) or (listen to the podcast) Join an online book study
Jan 9, 2023 • 32:50
#447: Strengthen Your Marriage Today (and Be Ready for Whatever 2023 May Bring)
Juli Slattery and Gary Thomas share wisdom and insight to keep your marriage together when the storms of life threaten to rip it apart. Grab your Java and join us! Guest: Gary Thomas Show notes: Join an online book study Making Your Marriage a Fortress by Gary Thomas* Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas* Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas* *Affiliate link. AI may earn fees.
Jan 2, 2023 • 51:14
#446: How Much More of Your Sexuality Will You Let God Reclaim in 2023?
Juli shares her thoughts on 2022, on having hard conversations about sexuality, and how to ask God to use your painful circumstances to grow your character. How much more of your sexuality will you let Him reclaim in 2023? Co-host: Mike Slattery Show notes: Make a donation to Authentic Intimacy Join an online book study with Authentic Intimacy God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery
Dec 26, 2022 • 33:10
#445: Give the Gift of Seeing the Good in What You Have
Seeing the good in all things does not mean ignoring the bad. Rather, as we approach the hard things, we see the goodness of God. Is your cup half full or half empty today? Co-host: Hannah Nitz Show notes: Make a donation to Authentic Intimacy What's It Like to Be Married to Me? by Linda Dillow* Satisfy My Thirsty Soul by Linda Dillow Say "Hi" to Hannah over at the There's More Podcast *Affiliate link. AI may earn fees.
Dec 19, 2022 • 34:07
#444: A Heart Set Free From Shame and Lies Is a Gift
Open the gift that allows you to experience true intimacy. Our long-awaited Savior came to set us free from sin and shame. Will you exchange your heart for His? Co-host: Hannah Nitz Make a donation God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery Passion Pursuit by Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow Surprised By the Healer by Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow Join an online book study
Dec 12, 2022 • 40:48