"Fine" Dining
Michael Ornelas
Comedian Michael Ornelas dives deep into the stories behind your favorite chain restaurants like Cracker Barrel, McDonald's, and Chili's before reviewing them with a new guest each week in search of the perfect 5-out-of-10 "fine" dining experience.
Subway’s Disturbing History: Jared, The Infinite Destroyer, & Azodicarbonamide
Subway’s history is WAY messier than you think. Sure, it’s the biggest fast-food chain in America, but behind the Eat Fresh™ branding lies a disastrous past filled with lawsuits, bizarre marketing stunts, and yes… Jared Fogle. In this episode, Terral Wells joins me to uncover Subway’s wildest moments, from its humble beginnings as a way to fund med school to the time they got sued because their footlongs weren’t actually a foot long. Oh, and did you know there’s a Subway fashion show? Or that yo
The Only Hooters with Breakfast feat. Alexander Poncio
Hooters Casino Hotel—now rebranded as OYO Hotel & Casino—has been called the worst hotel on the Vegas Strip. But is it really that bad? We put it to the ultimate test by spending 19 hours trapped inside, eating Hooters for dinner AND breakfast (because yes, this is the only Hooters in the country that serves breakfast). And if that wasn’t enough? We also hit up Aussie Heat (a male strip show), sang Dear Theodosia at karaoke (to everyone’s disappointment), and dealt with clogged toilets, broken e
Hooter Bowl 3: The History of the Worst Hotel in Las Vegas feat. Alexander Poncio
Hooters Casino Hotel was meant to be a game-changer—bringing its busty brand of mediocrity to the Las Vegas Strip. Instead, it became one of the biggest disasters in Vegas history. A casino so bad, it made Circus Circus look classy. So... what went wrong? For my third annual Hooter Bowl Spectacular, I had to go big. So I spent 19 hours trapped inside the Hooters Casino Hotel (now OYO), enduring its busted elevators, depressing ambiance, and suspiciously sticky carpets—all for the sake of history
McDonald's PlayPlace & the McGriddle feat. Chad Damiani [Part Two]
They thought I was sent from corporate! McDonald's Breakfast is arguably the most desirable form of McDonald's, and my Ronald McDonald-looking-ass got to chow down on it with the king of the clowns, Clown Boss Chad Damiani! The Good: I got treated like a king for coming in dressed as Ronald (and I don't think they knew I wasn't sent from the higher-ups), the McGriddle hits (for me), the hash browns hit (for Chad), and they made no stink about me playing in the PlayPlace The Not Good: The Chicke
McDonald's Breakfast Isn't Clowning Around feat. Chad Damiani
A magic belt that produced burgers? It's before 10:30am, which means it's time for McDonald's Breakfast! Learn the history of this iconic (and, in my opinion: better) half of McDonald's menu before diving into the clown lore of Ronald McDonald himself with the Clown Boss Chad Damiani Chad tells the story of a McDonald's fiasco his brother experienced all to try and save a few bucks McDonald's breakfast started as something offered by one location just "trying it out" -- something that would nev
America's Largest IKEA feat. Chris Grace [Part Two]
"I don't have a lot of respect for a meatball!" IKEA Swedish Bistro has a tough battle if it wants to be taken seriously on its culinary merits. Does it stake its claim as a contender in the pantheon of viable restaurants? Dropout's Chris Grace joins me to evaluate! The Good: The cafeteria set up (for Chris), the garlic bread, many of the desserts, the scenic vista of Griffith Park, and the place is clean The Not Good: The grimy hallway of tray return, the fries, the "fake" feeling made me diss
IKEA's Meatballs Aren't Actually Even Swedish feat. Chris Grace
Food from a furniture store? I'm joined by Chris Grace from NBC's Superstore to tackle the largest furniture retailer in the world IKEA and their fabled Swedish Bistro which happens to be the 6th-largest food chain internationally! "Coffee and a biscuit" was where it all began in Sweden Despite being what they're known for, the Swedish Meatball (which isn't even actually Swedish) didn't hit the menu until the 80s, almost 30 years after open There were plans for a viking themed restaurant origin
Snitching on Santa at Arctic Circle feat. Santa Claus [Part Two]
We come bearing gifts! Arctic Circle seemed like the best place to review with Santa Claus in tow, so we took a road trip out to southern Utah to try it! The Good: the mini corn dogs were genuinely great, and Santa brightened a few patrons' days by having gifts for the children! The Not Good: Someone complained to management about aforementioned gift-giving, and we had to cease, also not all the food was great The Just There: To be honest, this whole chain was pretty mediocre What We Ate: Three
Who Invented Fry Sauce? feat. Santa Claus
Road trip to Utah! What a get! This week, I had the honor of taking Santa Claus himself to the restaurant that makes the absolute most sense to review with Kris Kringle: Arctic Circle. If you don't know it, think Dairy Queen Grill & Chill. They do the dipped cone thing but more importantly, they claim to have invented fry sauce Not only do we get the history of this chain and fry sauce itself, but there's a lot of genuinely fascinating Santa Claus lore that I didn't know! Is Santa Claus technic
Best Chain Salad? California Pizza Kitchen Review feat. Holly Brown [Part Two]
I love CPK, but not for the pizza! California Pizza Kitchen is such a favorite of mine, I'm surprised it took 70 episodes to get to it! My guest, comedian Holly Brown is just as passionate about this chain as I am, so this was a great time The Good includes my favorite salad ever, Holly & my pasta dishes, & the vibes The Not Good: The BBQ Chicken Pizza, the pasta plate real estate, the complimentary bread portions The Just There: This location didn't smell like a septic tank for once! What we a
California Pizza Kitchen Was Pasta First? feat. Holly Brown
Viola Davis' favorite chain? California Pizza Kitchen has some truly fascinating claims - from pizzas innovated in their kitchen to being the first chain to outlaw smoking in their restaurants - I dive into all of it with comedian Holly Brown Holly used to work at CPK, which makes her the first former employee of the restaurant-of-the-week I've had as a guest on the show The Eat Deets will teach you about how CPK was originally a pasta concept A baffling viral mishap regarding mac & cheese The
No Nips for Us! Strip Club Review feat. Ryan Keely & Dana Scarborough [Episode 69 Special Part Two]
No Nut November + the 69th Restaurant! Nice! Note: One of the mics wasn't working properly. It should sound fine, but Dana is a little quieter than I would've liked. Apologies in advance. Note #2: This was also recorded before the decision was made to shake up the show's format this season, so it's the final episode to contain "This Is Way Too Much," "What's Going On Over There?" and no super awesome cold opens. Sam's Hofbrau is technically a strip club, but not based on what we experienced! I
Strip Club Eats feat. Ryan Keely & Dana Scarborough [Episode 69 Special Part One]
My 69th Restaurant! Nice! Note: One of the mics wasn't working properly. It should sound fine, but Dana is a little quieter than I would've liked. Apologies in advance. Sam's Hofbrau is a strip club in Los Angeles that serves food, and I went with adult film star Ryan Keely and Dana Scarborough of the I Seduce the Dragon podcast to celebrate the 69th restaurant review on the main feed of the podcast! The history of serving food at strip clubs How to run your strip club kitchen Tales from the ro
Casa Bonita Is My New Favorite Restaurant feat. Ify Nwadiwe [Part Two]
10 months on the waitlist, and well worth it! Casa Bonita is the definition of a dining "experience" with its hodgepodge collection of oddball acts and entertainment, but is it worth flying out of state to grab dinner? I break down this kitschy paradise with my guest, the hilarious Ify Nwadiwe (Dropout TV, Um Actually, Maximum Film) in this week's review episode! The Good: Cliff divers are tremendous fun, the puppet show is expertly entertaining, the magician is a pro, the merch is unrivaled, t
The Story of Casa Bonita feat. Ify Nwadiwe
As seen on South Park! Casa Bonita, an institution near Denver, Colorado blends the kitsch of a sprawling indoor theme park with Mexican food, and Ify Nwadiwe (Dropout TV, Um Actually, Maximum Film) is here to learn all about it with me The location that everyone knows and loves isn't the original Casa Bonita, which used to have locations in four different states The Secret Menu: Edible TV Shows I name the winner of the Septemburger $500 giveaway The South Park creators buy Casa Bonita and find
Season 3 Trailer!
Season 3 is coming next week! Follow along for season 3 as I'm headed to a lot of fun restaurants! 11/6-11/13 Casa Bonita with Ify Nwadiwe 11/20-11/27 Strip Club Food with Ryan Keely & Dana Scarborough 12/4-12/11 California Pizza Kitchen with Holly Brown 12/18-12/25 Arctic Circle with Santa Claus On top of that, I've got some new music to freshen things up, including a brand new opening theme song! "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to my YouTube to watch this episode! Music by: James
Season Finale: A Nightmare on WingStreet Review feat. Rachel Bryant (Actor) [Part Two]
The End of Season 2! WingStreet is Pizza Hut's wing brand, and I hit one with my guest this week, actor Rachel Bryant while we both dressed head-to-toe as horror icon Freddy Krueger What's Going On Over There with the pizza boxes replacing the glass on the broken door? Some kids at the Popeyes next door come out to threaten us (some might say it's Way Too Much) The employee had fun putting our order in for "Freddies" The Secret Menu Category: Delicious Hassles What we ate: Wings (4 flavors), Ch
A Nightmare on WingStreet: History feat. Rachel Bryant (Actor, "A Hard Place") [Part One]
Part 1 of the season 2 finale! It's A Nightmare on WingStreet as I cover the history of when Pizza Hut & YUM brands incorporated wings into their menu, and I'm joined by prolific horror actor Rachel Bryant We spend the entire finale fully cosplayed as horror icon Freddy Krueger Rachel's primary experience with wings is watching other people eat them at Super Bowl parties Hear the history of Buffalo Wings as a dish in general A Yelper needs relationship counseling, but regardless, likes his wife
Cook Out Review feat. Scott Philbrook (Astonishing Legends Podcast) [Part Two]
Maybe the best milkshakes in the game! Cook Out is a staple of North Carolina, and I got to sit with host of the Astonishing Legends podcast, Scott Philbrook and try the burgers, hush puppies, and milkshakes that make them famous The Secret Menu Category: Spooky Restaurants A liminal space with Cheerwine decor What's Going On Over There with the handwashing station on the customer side of the ordering station? There's back of house and front of house, and never the two shall meet What we ate: O
Cook Out History feat. Scott Philbrook (Astonishing Legends Podcast) [Part One]
Coming to you from Greensboro, North Carolina this week! I'm cross-country again as this week I'm covering the beloved Southern burger chain Cook Out with host of the Astonishing Legends podcast, Scott Philbrook Scott talks his history with Cook Out from back when he was in college, as most locations are open until 3 in the morning Learn the history of Cook Out and their expansive menu that sells at a fraction of the cost of most fast food brands' offerings A couple incidents at Cook Out got ma
Shake Shack feat. Jen Kober (Stand-Up Comedian)
Septemburger 2024's final stop! I cap off a jetsetting Septemburger with the spot I barely had to go a mile to get to, Shake Shack. One of my go-tos in this this bracket, and I was graced with the presence of hilarious comedian Jen Kober The origins of the place were unclear at the time of filming, but I ultimately learned that the original Shake Shack was called I The Secret Menu Mini-Game: Disastrous Restaurants A very sterile atmosphere corrals customers towards a row of iPads What's Going
White Castle feat. Coyal Harrison (Visit Vegas Places Podcast)
Septemburger 2024's final stop! I'm in Las Vegas this week to hit the nearest White Castle to me with Vegas native (and host of the Visit Vegas Places podcast) Coyal Harrison and is not a good meal Apparently the White Castle slider was literally created in a moment of frustration when the founder couldn't quite figure out how to do meatballs, so he squashed it, put it on a bun, and called it edible The Secret Menu Mini-Game: Comedy Restaurants This White Castle is attached to a casino, so the
In-N-Out Burger (vs. Whataburger for Septemburger) feat. Raj Rawal (Tastemade)
Septemburger rolls on! Formerly of Tastemade, producer Raj Rawal joins me to talk about a restaurant he's very passionate about: In-N-Out Burger The Eat Deets tackle everything from the founder's untimely passing in a plane crash and the struggles with substance abuse of the sons, to In-N-Out's brand loyalty with 7-Up surviving a rift with Pepsi The Secret Menu Mini-Game: Vehicular Goodies An injured employee is helped out of the restaurant by a manager mid-lunch rush in a noteworthy show of hu
Septemburger 2024 Kick-Off Spectacular: Steak 'n Shake vs. Rally's, Freddy's vs. Culver's, Whataburger Review
Your chance at $500 is here! Septemburger is once again upon us, and this time I've scoured the nation for 8 fast food burger chains to compete in the annual contest I'm joined by a slew of guests: my own Dad, I Think You Should Leave's Steve Moulton, and my friends Kellie Baldwin, Herbert Amaya, and Ashley Robinson Click here for a direct link to the Septemburger 2024 Bracket Google Form (due by end of day September 10th, 2024)! Septemburger Rules explained: 24 burgers across 8 fast food/fast
Perkins Review feat. Andrew Canada (Two in the Cooler Podcast) [Part Two]
Even the name sounds mediocre! I'm joined once again by Two in the Cooler podcast host Andrew Canada to hit up a chain that was a staple of his childhood: Perkins Restaurant & Bakery Perkins has a dingy atmosphere that acknowledges you'd rather be elsewhere What's Going on Over There with advertising the arrival of Dr. Pepper to your menu, and then only serving Mr. Pibb? (This one really upset Michael) Our server was emotionally affected by me not loving my burger Andrew eats his pancakes in a
Perkins History feat. Andrew Canada (Two in the Cooler Podcast) [Part One]
I traveled to New York, New York for this one! From the Two in the Cooler podcast, host Andrew Canada joins me this week to check out Perkins Restaurant & Bakery, a chain that I flew across the country to New York City to try, and he flew down from Buffalo to meet me there Originally "Smithy's Pancake House" before changing their name and expanding across the region, Perkins' backstory is one of ups and downs The Secret Menu: Sci-Fi Foods Andrew's friends sound 100% made up A Yelper gives Perki
Houston's Restaurant Review feat. Adam Macias (That Was Wild Podcast) [Part Two]
The sushi at Houston's is an unexpected masterpiece! Houston's Restaurant aka Hillstone is one of the higher-end experiences I've had for the podcast, and That Was Wild podcast's Adam Macias joined me on his own birthday to dine there with me The art choices in here were bold (arguably Way Too Much) and their light fixtures straight up looked like a certain Pokémon I straight up misinterpreted the meaning of the phrase "I'm Going to Hit the Head" What's Going On Over There with falsely advertis
Houston's Restaurant History feat. Adam Macias (That Was Wild Podcast) [Part One]
A chain with 15 different names! Houston's Restaurant aka Hillstone aka 13 other things is one of the more upscale chains, and Adam Macias from the That Was Wild podcast joins me to learn interesting facts about this restaurant Houston's will let you BYOB without charging a corkage fee, and they are very proud of this The Secret Menu: Bougier Restaurants Houston's is currently embroiled in a lawsuit over price-gouging during the pandemic My new favorite review of all-time: an unfashionable Yelp
Popeyes Review feat. Sierra Katow (Stand-Up Comedian, TV Chef Fantasy League) [Part Two]
We eat the chicken sandwich that caused chaos upon launch! Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen makes it clear that you're not supposed eat it there. But I powered through with my guest, stand-up comedian Sierra Katow Popeyes goes overboard on the signage in the store, outside the restaurant, and on the door What's Going On Over There with the complete silence inside the establishment? The chicken sandwich: is it really that good? Sierra opens up about a stressful Denny's experience What we ate: Strawber
Popeyes History feat. Sierra Katow (Stand-Up Comedian, TV Chef Fantasy League) [Part One]
The stories from the sandwich launch are wild! I went to Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen with stand-up comedian Sierra Katow, but before reviewing the place we have to go over the franchise history The Eat Deets unveil founder Al Copeland's master plan to charge the company a "spice royalty" after he was ousted from leadership The Secret Menu: Villainous Treats Beyoncé has a "free Popeyes for life" situation going, but she's too embarrassed to use it A chronicling of the abject chaos that erupted upo
Shoney's Review feat. Dad [Part Two]
A new Worst Restaurant in America is crowned! A restaurant so bad, I don't think my Dad (my guest this week) will ever let me live it down: Shoney's Buffet soups shouldn't have such a thick skin over them that the ladle rests on top...right?? What's Going On Over There with Shoney's thinking they deserve their own food truck? The service team surprises me with a little extra cook time on my steak, despite my wishes to the contrary Fan of the show Travis recounts the story of when Scott Steiner
Shoney's History feat. Dad [Part One]
Traveled across the country for this! Coming to you from the mountains of North Carolina, I bring you the Eat Deets for Shoney's with my very own Dad Shoney's has undergone a few name changes, including being a part of the Big Boy franchise A brand that once grew to over 1,800 restaurants is dwindling in the post-pandemic restaurant landscape, now down to 81 (as of 2024) Racist hiring practices landed Shoney's on the receiving end of the largest discrimination settlement ever (at the time) A Ye
American Girl Cafe Review feat. Katie Molinaro (Eat It Katie, Comedian, & Foodie) [Part Two]
Edible straws? Actress, foodie, and comedian Katie Molinaro joined me for maybe the weirdest meal yet, as we were total fish out of water at the American Girl Cafe I made an impulse buy and got a doll chihuahua named Barker Posey The stalls in the bathrooms have hooks so you can take your doll with you, and that's Way Too Much... The service team had a noteworthy amount of men on it, and one of them's name tag didn't match his employee badge which makes us wonder What's Going On Over There? Wha
American Girl Cafe History feat. Katie Molinaro (Eat It Katie, Comedian, & Foodie) [Part One]
Lunch at a restaurant for dolls!! Comedian and food influencer Katie Molinaro doesn't hesitate to join for a silly dining experience, so we hit up the American Girl Doll Store Boutique & Bistro Katie grew up with a doll she didn't vibe with This week's Secret Menu mini-game: Unfun Children's Toys American Girl was founded by a cancer-surviving textbook writer who used her royalties to make this brand explode "The first experiential dining experience" The brand forayed into movies while inspirin
Cracker Barrel Review feat. Jen Liv (Stand-Up Comedian) [Part Two]
I debut a music video about the new frontrunner in Mediocrity! Coming closer to mediocrity than Applebee's (who scored 5.02/10), Cracker Barrel is the life-blood of this week's guest, stand-up comedian Jen Liv The rocking chairs aren't the only thing that swings in this Cracker Barrel Country Store... This week's Secret Menu mini-game: Kinky Restaurants The hostess was desperately trying to earn her fourth star Their biscuits are GOATed What we ate this week: Hand-Rolled Buttermilk Biscuits wi
Cracker Barrel History feat. Jen Liv (Stand-Up Comedian) [Part One]
I went to Cracker Barrel with a CB Superfan! Stand-up comedian Jen Liv LOVES Cracker Barrel so much (she's been to over 40 different ones!) that she hopped my car and road tripped with me to go there In this Eat Deets episode, the history of Cracker Barrel includes the franchise's humble beginnings as a gas station restaurant before growing into what it is today Learn what a "cracker barrel" actually is Jen laments her allergy to eggs (or as Cracker Barrel calls them, "aigs") Cracker Barrel has
Shrekfast! The Original Pancake House Review feat. Chad Opitz (Stand-Up Comedian) [Part Two]
"I've got the celebrity!" Comedian and world-class cuddler Chad Opitz is here once again to talk about dining with Shrek (me, having lost a bet) at The Original Pancake House Michael gets a looooot of attention as Shrek and makes some kids' day What's Going On Over There with OPH cooking a baby? The service staff embraced me with open arms Chad orders an entree that isn't in the name of the restaurant Their bacon was incredible The Apple Pancake may be WAY TOO MUCH, but the food offerings here
Shrekfast! The Original Pancake House History feat. Chad Opitz (Stand-Up Comedian) [Part One]
Get in mah swamp! Stand-up comedian Chad Opitz (recurring guest on Doug Benson's podcast "Doug Loves Movies") not only tolerates, but embraces me this week (literally) as I go to The Original Pancake House in full Shrek make-up with him to make good on the bet I lost last week We cover the history of not just this week's restaurant, but the concept of pancakes in general, going wayyyy back The Secret Menu minigame category of the week: Breakfast Cinema Chad sells Michael on injera bread from Et
P.F. Chang's Review feat. Andres Simonian (Spanish Wendy's Guy, Y-List Actor) [Part Two]
Scale the Great Wall of Chocolate! Andres Simonian (not from Home Economics or Mythic Quest) is back to plunge into our review of P.F. Chang's Michael thinks the atmosphere in a P.F. Chang's is "sexy" Michael tells the tale of the Cumbre Tunnel Massacre shootout that almost claimed his great-grandfather's life Andres makes a high-stakes Shrek-themed wager with Michael What's Going On Over There with the unnamed noodle crisps in the dishes? This week's Secret Menu theme: Tasty Tourist Traps What
P.F. Chang's History feat. Andres Simonian (Spanish Wendy's Guy, Y-List Actor) [Part One]
It took 55 episodes to do Chinese food! Actor Andres Simonian (one of the Wendy's guys in the Spanish-speaking markets) joins me this week, covering the history and the Yelp reviews for P.F. Chang's The whitewashing of "P.F. Chang's" is uncovered in this week's Eat Deets Andres is called on his lie about getting stuck in "unexpected" traffic Michael & Andres try the Lettuce Wraps since they didn't order them during their meal What are Michael & Andres' fortunes? Discussion about P.F. Chang's re
Chipotle Review feat. Zara Mizrahi (Stand-Up, American Dad, Family Guy) [Part Two]
In honor of Cinco de Mayo, let's review a restaurant as Mexican as our host is: Chipotle!! It's time to chat the Chipotle Mexican Grill dining experience, joined once again by stand-up comedian and Chipotle-lover, Zara Mizrahi What's the actual best restaurant Zara's ever experienced? The "art" on the wall is not art, no matter how badly it wants to be What's Going On Over There with the restaurant turning down the music as soon as we start talking? The number of government employees in uniform
Chipotle History feat. Zara Mizrahi (Stand-Up, American Dad, Family Guy) [Part One]
The debut of a brand new game: The Secret Menu!! Michael hits a place about as Mexican as he is for Cinco de Mayo, Chipotle Mexican Grill with long-time friend and burrito enthusiast, stand-up comedian Zara Mizrahi Chipotle can't shake the stigma of having been owned by McDonald's Learn about the legendary Chipotle burrito coins in Eat Deets Zara wants to tithe her income to Chipotle Chipotle forayed into soul food, pizza, and burgers in other failed restaurant experiments The debut of The Secr
IHOP Review feat. Jasper Lewis (Internet Menace) & Katie Molinaro (Renowned Foodie) [Part Two]
Enter for an all expenses paid trip to your local Applebee's*! Jasper Lewis, biscuit enthusiast, is back to take on IHOP, the International House of Pancakes with Michael A hyper kid listening to metal in the booth next to us is WAY TOO MUCH Michael & Jasper discuss the viral list of places that "women don't want to be taken on a first date" Jasper is all about our server's lack of vocal fry Katie Molinaro (@eatitkatie) joins us to try Lay's exclusive Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity potato chip fla
IHOP History feat. Jasper Lewis (Internet Menace) [Part One]
Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity is BACK! Michael is joined by friend and "woman-of-God" Jasper Lewis to talk all things IHOP, the International House of Pancakes and chain restaurant juggernaut Poor signage/menu descriptions leave Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity a mystery What's Going On Over There with the barren Wikipedia page for IHOP? Learn the history of the franchise, from its founder's interest in coffee to its acquisition of Applebee's (which it paid for in cash) That whole "IHOB" thing A Yelpe
Costco Food Court Review feat. Marisa Pinson & Jon Glover (On Brand with Jon & Marisa) [Part Two]
Is the new Costco cookie as good as the churro? Michael is once again joined by Marisa Pinson & Jon Glover from On Brand with Jon & Marisa, and they're back at the Costco Food Court "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! Marisa and Jon confess the ways they've gamed Costco's notoriously indiscriminate return policy What Going On Over There with people who come out of Costco with only 1-2 things in their carts? Jon details the upsetting ways he eats his
Costco Food Court History feat. Marisa Pinson & Jon Glover (On Brand with Jon & Marisa) [Part One]
Learn the history of America's most iconic concession stand! Marisa Pinson & Jon Glover from On Brand with Jon & Marisa join Michael at the Costco Food Court this week and talk all things, from how many hot dogs we could fit in our mouths to the churro that was just replaced by a cookie "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! How to survive the Costco parking lot Hear the humble beginnings of Costco's Food Court as a hot dog cart in San Diego Internatio
Culver's Review feat. Kellie Baldwin [Part Two]
Where do Butterburgers rank in the pantheon of fast food burgers? Kellie Baldwin is back to eat Culver's with Michael! And it's official: Culver's will be the #6 seed in the 2024 Septemburger tournament! March is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month! Find out more at the National MS Society website, and if you want to go the extra mile, donate here to Kellie's Walk for MS team! "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! The interior of the restaurant is veri
Culver's History feat. Kellie Baldwin [Part One]
Hear how this iconic Midwestern treasure came to be! Michael is joined by friend-from-college Kellie Baldwin to try Culver's, the Wisconsin burger chain that popularized the "Butterburger" and frozen custard March is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month! Find out more at the National MS Society website, and if you want to go the extra mile, donate here to Kellie's Walk for MS team! "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! The First Impressions of the resta
Whataburger (Part Two: Review) feat. Ashley Robinson (Fear the Walking Dead)
Dive into Septemburger 2024's #4 Seed! TV Producer/all-around queen Ashley Robinson returns for part 2, covering the atmosphere/service/food of Texas' pride and joy: Whataburger "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! Whataburger's selling snuggies Ashley is modding her own snuggies, and it's Way Too Much The staff brings trays full of the nationally-famous Whataburger ketchup (and spicy ketchup) Michael goes early to review the legendary Honey Butter C
Whataburger (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. Ashley Robinson (Fear the Walking Dead)
The ban on fast food has been lifted! Michael is joined by long-time friend, TV producer Ashley Robinson, a native Texan who is all aboard the train as it takes its first stop at a fast food joint: Texas' own Whataburger "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! What's Going On Over There with the lady staring down the cashier? The Eat Deets of Whataburger's plane-flying, coupon-dropping founder is almost as interesting as the franchise itself Many couple
Ch**seburger in Paradise (Part Two: Review) feat. Mom
A review Jimmy Buffett would be proud of! Mom joins one more time to dish on our experience eating at Ch**seburger in Paradise in Honolulu, Hawaii! "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! Vintage decor meets views of the ocean, the beach, and garbage trucks Hawaii is the deepest South A discussion on the word "y'all" A server flat out refuses to bus a plate off our table: What's Going on With That? But also, it's Way Too Much The burgers aren't bad, but
Ch**seburger in Paradise (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. Mom
Lots of censored words in this one... Michael's Mom is back and joins him this week to eat at the historic Ch**seburger in Paradise restaurant in Honolulu, Hawaii! "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! Mom brought leis because being festive is important Hawaiian Santa Claus! These Eat Deets get spicy as Jimmy Buffett wasn't necessarily fond of the founders stealing the name from one of his most famous songs Some people have had their ashes spread at t
Hoots Wings (Part Two: Review) feat. VyVy Nguyen (Shaky Shivers, The Sympathizer)
Time to review the PG Hooters! VyVy Nguyen returns to review fast-casual Hooters affiliate Hoots Wings Michael is finally able to give VyVy her gift, now that Harrison has been brought into custody for stealing it last week This Hoots Wings rents a counter off to the side in a Blaze Pizza, the atmosphere is dubious at best Ghost children singing Old MacDonald The restaurant quits paying its cable bill mid-meal What's Going on Over There in the women's restroom when VyVy witnesses something whil
Hooter Bowl 2: "Hootdunnit?" Hoots Wings (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. VyVy Nguyen (Shaky Shivers)
The second annual Hooter Bowl! Friend of the show VyVy Nguyen is back to celebrate Hooter Bowl 2 by joining Michael at fast casual Hooters spin-off restaurant, Hoots Wings (basically Hooters without the Hooters Girls) "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this very special film noir parody episode! Michael dares the NFL to bring on their legal team A gift for VyVy mysteriously disappears, shutting down the entire Hooter Bowl and instead launching a Hootdunnit! Dick
Friendly's (Part Two: Review) feat. JUB
OH HI THERE! It's your favorite sponsor JUB and I am back to help Michael review Friendly's! Step back in time to this place that feels old, classic, and filled with Depression-era clientele Octogenarians plus technology is a dangerous combination, and we like to avoid it when possible, even it if it makes us ask What's Going On Over There? An unforgivable mistake by the back-of-house workers Fribbles are thicc and delicious A separate menu just for ice cream is WAY TOO MUCH JUB knows a lot abo
Friendly's (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. JUB...?
Fine Dining: Party of...One? Michael gets stood up by his intended guest host JUB and goes this one alone, traveling to the New England area to take on one of their most historic chains, Friendly's Jonas Brother specialty ice creams! Eat Deets will teach you that Friendly's is one of the older restaurant chains in American history, with two brothers who founded an ice cream shop with nothing but a dream and $547 Hear about how Hershey's bought them out and took them to the next level Friendly's
Hot Dog on a Stick (Part Two: Review) feat. Monis Rose (Restaurant Fiction Podcast)
Getting in touch with our inner degenerates! Restaurant Fiction podcast host Monis Rose is here to wax romantic over the "character" of the original Hot Dog on a Stick kiosk by the Santa Monica Pier There's nowhere to sit, so the boys pick a dragon/pirate ship playground as their venue Public beachside seating has empty beer bottles and even a used Magnum love glove nearby... Military helicopters are circling us overhead and it makes us ask What's Going On Over There? Harrison Augustine 💸 Arry
Hot Dog on a Stick (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. Monis Rose (Restaurant Fiction Podcast) & Alex Borstein (Family Guy, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
Heinz-enberg runs these streets! Restaurant Fiction's Monis Rose joins Michael to pretend to learn the Eat Deets about Hot Dog on a Stick because he already knows everything Michael does a Keyser Söze walk to hide his limp from Monis [Audiodrama segment] Turf wars over who can sell Dodger dogs on which corners Alex Borstein berates Michael's preferences in hot dog condiment Hot Dog on a Stick is also known for its lemonade, which started as a Muscle Beach health drink with honey The history of
Buca di Beppo (Part Two: Review) feat. Mike Perkins
We're diving back into Joe's Hole! Comedian Mike Perkins is back once again to represent Italy in the case against the food at Buca di Beppo Michael & Mike are just a couple of Midfellas The breadiest love-making session ever is What's Going On Over There Buca di Beppo's decor is funny how? The portions at Buca are insane, as two men individually order a family style entree each The dessert is "diabetes in a glass" according to the boys' server Chip psychoanalyzes the characters on the Buca di
Buca di Beppo (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. Mike Perkins
I took a real Italian to Buca di Beppo! We're joined by comedian Mike Perkins to dive into inauthentic Italian slophouse, Buca di Beppo Hear all about the Pope's room, the "vulgar" decor, and the fact that Buca's founder literally intended to "poke gentle fun" at Italians in this week's Eat Deets Learn the rather interesting translation of Buca di Beppo Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius XIV is anti-work You could have bought the entire franchise for a few million dollars... The Mother's Day debacl
Texas Roadhouse (Part Two: Review) feat. Michael Moore
The Roadhouse Devil feeds at dusk! We're back with friend and magician Michael Moore to talk about the atmosphere, service, and food at Texas Roadhouse Willie's Corner, the suspicious absence of floor peanuts, hoedowns, and taxidermy galore Some concerning verbiage from the service team has the Michaels speculating the presence of an otherworldly, Lovecraftian being skulking about the area in this week's What's Going On Over There? A three-part audiodrama addressing said monster Maxwell gives h
Texas Roadhouse (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. Michael Moore
Stay tuned to the end: new outro song!! Michael is joined by friend and powerhouse of a man, Michael Moore (no relation to the filmmaker/documentarian of the same name) to dine at Texas Roadhouse The restaurant started as a spot in a mall in Indiana, so it was neither a roadhouse nor Texan, but that didn't stop owner W. Kent Taylor from building an empire after giving up on opening a Colorado-themed restaurant Learn all about the history of the chain dubbed the "Loudest Restaurant in America" i
Katz's Delicatessen (Part Two: Review) feat. Joyce
NYC's legendary deli gets reviewed! We're in New York City! Michael's girlfriend Joyce joins him once again to talk about the hectic atmosphere, a hunky meat carver, and the matzo ball soup she's waited her entire life to try Katz's Delicatessen has so many lines and ordering stations that the chaos proves challenging to our duo Killer Mike walks by the table What's Going On Over There with the segration of those paying via card vs. those paying with cash? Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius XIV lam
Katz's Delicatessen (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. Joyce
Katz's restaurant experience drops next Wednesday! Michael's girlfriend Joyce joins Michael in New York City, and they dive deep into the history of the world-famous deli that's over 100 years old in this episode of Eat Deets Katz's Delicatessen has been a staple of New York culture, amplified by its appearance in several movies and TV shows, most notably When Harry Met Sally Current owner Jake Dell has rules for how to conduct oneself at Katz's to avoid being thrown out Michael & Joyce address
Gordon Biersch Brewery (Part Two: Review) feat. "Pretty" Peter Avalon (All Elite Wrestling, Ring of Honor)
The review for Gordon Biersch is here! All Elite Wrestling & Ring of Honor's "Pretty" Peter Avalon joins Michael to review the restaurant of the week The Gordon Biersch Brewery that Michael & Peter hit up closed its doors just 7 days after the boys dined there Peter eulogizes the Burbank Gordon Biersch Ever wondered what it'd be like living in a Buffalo Wild Wings? Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius the XIV takes offense to vulgarities Michael pitches a restaurant-themed wrestling gimmick to Pete
Gordon Biersch Brewery (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. "Pretty" Peter Avalon (All Elite Wrestling, Ring of Honor)
Get Part 2 next Wednesday! All Elite Wrestling & Ring of Honor's "Pretty" Peter Avalon joins Michael in Burbank to learn all about the restaurant of the week Gordon Biersch Brewery stands behind the claim that they invented garlic fries Michael dives into the Eat Deets about Gordon Biersch Gordon Biersch cost Oskar Blues Brewing approx. $32,000 from a cease & desist Michael drops knowledge about Shakey's Pizza Parlor's prominence in the Philippines An embarrassing story from 25+ years ago about
The Melting Pot feat. Rhyan Schwartz
"Fine" Dining is back to weekly releases! The Melting Pot is in the midst of a renaissance, with ambitious expansion goals Michael details the changes moving into the new season Learn about the history of the franchise in Eat Deets (fka Resty Fact Round-Up) Guest host Rhyan Schwartz gives Michael someone to eat all the cheese that our host refuses to touch Michael rebrands cheese to ch**se Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius the XIV shares his wealth of knowledge to give The Melting Pot advice on th
Season 2 Trailer
The search for mediocrity continues! Join host Michael Ornelas as he gets in the trenches for more chain restaurants than his arteries can handle. Each episode, he'll be joined by a different guest host, and no eatery is off-limits. Season 2 will include fast casual and even fast food spots as the caloric floodgates have been opened. Kicking off November 8th with guest host Rhyan Schwartz, Michael pays a visit to The Melting Pot for some fondue. This season, you can also look forward to restau
TGI Fridays the 13th: Season Finale
Season 2 starts November 8th! TGI Fridays is dark, red, and honestly feels like a murder room. Appropriate for the season Michael is joined by friend Sandy Rose to deliver the Resty Fact Round-Up while Garrett goes to town on Michael's bidet. Learn how TGI Fridays original incarnation was drastically different from what we know it as today Michael's pineapple son Juicy Jr. dons the mask as Juice-Son Vorhees in a terrifying murder spree homage to the Friday the 13th horror film franchise JUB iss
TGI Fridays the 13th: Season Finale Trailer
The horrifying season finale is upon us! Michael's pineapple son Juicy Jr. is Juice-Son Vorhees this week as he goes on a murderous rampage in the season finale of "Fine" Dining. TGI Fridays the 13th is upon us. Special guests Sandy Rose, Herbert Amaya, and Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita join this wild and bloody conclusion to season 1! Hear all about the TGI Fridays experience that felt like a dark murder room, get Michael & Garrett's opinions on the food, and most importantly: no one is sa
Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery: DILF Depot
Do grocery store pies taste better in their restaurant of origin? Not by much! Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery feels like a slice of Michael & Garrett's childhoods, a wood-paneled wonderland that feels like a dentist's office waiting room Garrett details the history of the franchise in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up, including a history of "Pie Spies" Marie Callender's proves to be a haven of "old" The winner of the Septemburger Bracket $500 Giveaway is announced! Michael falls asleep in
Marie Callender's (Trailer)
Go back in time with a classic comfort food dining spot! Michael & Garrett drove all the way across town to get some pies from Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery. Hear what led them to make a skit called DILF Depot, did Michael fall asleep in the booth (spoiler: yes!), and much more. And don't forget to check out our Patreon where the Semi-Finals and the Finals of Septemburger concluded last week! A delicious burger champion was crowned - claim your 7-day free trial now! Download the full M
Johnny Rockets & the Heavy Chair Heist
The last quarterfinal match of Septemburger has arrived! Johnny Rockets is a genuine-hearted homage to the diners of the 1950s, which Michael would have been all about if this wasn't a "Sports Lounge" location Garrett details the history of the franchise in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up Septemburger match 4: Umami Burger vs. Johnny Rockets The You-Must Bowl has both Michael & Garrett crying, but insisting they're fine A CHAIR HEIST!! What's Going On with the restaurant's photographer snubbing
Johnny Rockets (Trailer)
Septemburger's #8 seed is here to finish out the first round of the bracket! Outback Steakhouse bested Red Robin. Islands rolled right over Bob's Big Boy. Applebee's upset Fuddruckers. Can Johnny Rockets follow suit and beat out the #1 seed from last week, Umami Burger? And don't forget to check out our Patreon this Thursday to hear the Semi-Finals and the Finals of Septemburger! A delicious burger champion will be crowned - claim your 7-day free trial now! Download the full Johnny Rockets epi
Umami Burger's Rise & Fall & Slight Re-Rise (Septemburger #1 Seed)
Septemburger's #1 seed, Umami Burger is up to bat! Michael has an axe to grind after the best burger in Los Angeles changed up their recipe a few years back Garrett outlines the rise and fall of Umami Burger in Resty Fact Round-Up, and why they have a shot at regaining respect once again Septemburger will pit Umami against Johnny Rockets next week What's Going On with Umami feeling like it's still going through the pandemic? The service staff definitely noticed they were being reviewed and chan
Umami Burger (Trailer)
Septemburger's #1 seed is up to bat, and what was once Michael's favorite burger in LA has had some temultuous times, it's time for the boys to review Umami Burger! Hear what Michael & Garrett have to say ahead of Umami's match-up with #8 seed Johnny Rockets next week! Download the full Umami Burger episode this Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every o
Red Robin feat. John Angeli (Terror Firma)
Septemburger rolls along with the #5 seed, Red Robin! Michael & Garrett are not just joined by indie horror film producer John Angeli, but they're outright sponsored by his new movie Terror Firma Garrett outlines the surnameless "Sam" who founded Red Robin by annoying the heck out of anyone who would listen with his one Red Robin song More of a deep dive on the history of the franchise in Resty Fact Round-Up Septemburger match #3: Red Robin vs. Outback Steakhouse Forget the burgers, Red Robin's
Red Robin (Trailer)
Septemburger rolls along as the boys are joined by independent horror film Terror Firma's producer, John Angeli, and they stop by Red Robin! The third match in the first round of the Septemburger bracket pits Red Robin against Outback Steakhouse! Submissions are now CLOSED for the $500 Septemburger Bracket giveaway! Thanks to all who sent in a bracket, and best of luck! Download the full Red Robin episode this Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music
Septemburger Has Arrived!! (Fuddruckers vs. Applebee's//Islands vs. Bob's Big Boy//Outback Steakhouse)
It's the burger battle of the year as Septemburger is now upon us! The tournament kicks off as the 8 entrants are announced and seeded Maybe the most badass theme song ever Garrett details the history of the hamburger in Burger Fact Round-Up #3 seed Fuddruckers faces off against the #6 seed Applebees #2 seed Islands faces off against the #7 seed Bob's Big Boy First round scoring for #4 seed Outback Steakhouse ahead of its match-up next week against the #5 seed Red Robin JUB will help you genera
Septemburger Kicks Off! (Trailer)
It's the best month of the year: It's SEPTEMBURGER! The first annual Septemburger tournament kicks off with the following match-ups: Bob's Big Boy (7) vs. Island's Fine Burgers & Drinks (2) Fuddrucker's (3) vs. Applebee's (6) Plus, the boys review Outback Steakhouse (4)'s first round burger ahead of its match-up next week against Red Robin (5). Yummmmm! Download the full episode this Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) We're on Patreon! Get an
Twin Peaks: The Revenge Breastaurant feat. Emma Danger
Michael & Garrett get back at Michael's niece-aged cousin Emma Danger for sending them to Hooters last time she was on the podcast! Twin Peaks is a breastaurant founded on the premise that Hooters had become "too tame," and lived up to that idea in its early years amidst scandals and indecent exposure charges Garrett fulfills his You-Must Bowl duties by donning Insane Clown Posse facepaint and consuming this meal while embodying the Juggalo lifestyle Even a little Judge Judy is more Judge Judy
All Garlic Everything at The Stinking Rose
Michael & Garrett are now 80% garlic-by-volume! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to sing his table's order to the entire restaurant Garrett details the garlicky history of The Stinking Rose in Resty Fact Round-Up Cheese correspondent Steven gives his thoughts on the Garlic Crab Alfredo Fondue A cursed piece of wall decoration has Garrett reeling The boys try Garlic Ice Cream?? JUB tries his hand (or fingers) at being a stenographer A Real Doll placed right outside the restroom Garrett has the b
Shakey's Pizza Parlor Has a Crab Problem feat. Zeus Benitez (BabyGirl)
Michael & Garrett tolerate a subpar lunch buffet with the super-jacked Zeus Benitez! Garrett journeys to and from the buffet on his hands and feet as the You-Must Bowl has him crab-walking his way around Shakey's Pizza Parlor Learn about the first pizza franchise in America, Shakey's, and its founder: Banjo Hall of Fame member Sherwood "Shakey" Johnson An adult film about Shakey's? We certainly wrote one! The boys evaluate Shakey's arcade JUB will sell you prizes to give away at your arcade The
A Suit of Pokemon Cards: Technically Meeting the Dress Code at Mastro's Ocean Club
The boys experience actual Fine Dining for once! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to wear a suit made entirely of Pokémon cards to Mastro's Ocean Club Garrett details the history of Mastro's in Resty Fact Round-Up (Yeehaw!) Learn about Japanese vs. American wagyu, and the different classifications of beef grading Hands-down the greatest service experienced so far on this podcast Romantic music puts Michael and Garrett in a mood JUB will recalibrate your ratings scale Alcohol served with...inter
ASMR Spooning at Sizzler feat. VyVy Nguyen (The Sympathizer, Young Sheldon, Dogs in Space)
The boys are joined by the delightful VyVy Nguyen! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to consume his entire meal at Sizzler using only spoons Garrett plays Michael and VyVy a Sizzler commercial from 1991 Dessert pictures are catfishing unsuspecting customers Sex eyes are the only acceptable eyes to have in a Sizzler An ASMR Sizzler birthday soundscape, performed by VyVy Garrett pulls out the Fine Dining Bylaws to address Michael cheating at his You-Must Bowl punishment JUB welched on a bet once
BONUS EPISODE: The LA County Fair (1-Hour Patreon Preview)
So much to do and only 12 hours to do it! Michael & Garrett hit up the LA County Fair for some crazy deep-fried food and a carny atmosphere They cover the history of the LA County Fairgrounds, which has an upsetting role as the site of a Japanese-American concentration camp during World War II and an Italian/German P.O.W. camp afterwards The boys get their palms read Garrett seeks out a Christian puppet show Seductive snakes bare it all at The Shed PIG RACING! The saga of Milk Steve the Cream
Medieval Times: Knights on Strike
It's dinner and a show at Medieval Times! The boys bear two hours of L.A. traffic to drive to Medieval Times only to discover the Union cast of this location are on strike and protesting outside Strike Captain Erin Zapcic shares what the striking workers are aiming to accomplish Garrett does a deep dive on the history of the franchise Imposters fill the castle as Union scabs have been bused/flown in from other Medieval Times locations 2 full-length songs about Michael & Garrett’s night at Medie
More Margarita Than Man at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville
The boys found a Boomer utopia in restaurant form! The You-Must Bowl deems Garrett must embody the essence of Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville Garrett does a deep dive on the history of the franchise Cheeseburgers in Paradise aren't very good Michael tries to enforce a "No nudity, no touching" policy on Garrett An excerpt from a steamy romance novel authored by Jimmy Buffett JUB plans to make all public spaces a spoiler-free environment Strawberry Shortcake that is somehow neither strawberry nor
Romano's Macaroni Grill's New Bread Can F Right Off
They changed the bread and killed our childhood! The boys color on the table at this week's pick: Romano's Macaroni Grill Garrett wants to bottle up Michael's spaghetti grease to eat later The bathroom signs are confusing Phil Romano has some crazy ideas for an Asian cuisine restaurant A pushy waiter demands to know why a nearby table is celebrating Garrett must become next week's restaurant, literally Audrey reviews the Macaroni Grill kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB will mak
We Drove to LAX to Eat Airport Planet Hollywood feat. Steve Moulton (I Think You Should Leave)
It's Turbo Time! Steve Moulton (I Think You Should Leave, Young Rock, Sharknado) joins the boys in going to LAX, one of the busiest airports in the world, to dine at a pre-security Planet Hollywood Garrett orders the worst steak we've ever seen Planet Hollywood has no Hollywood decor?! The Floor Wing RETURNS!! And he's kidnapped (pineapplenapped?) Juicy Jr. Girthy paper straws are WAY TOO MUCH Steve & Garrett time out on The Headline Game A veritable Final Destination is What's Going On Over Th
The Cinnabon Injunction feat. Jessa Day (Twitch)
No service? No problem! The boys make a casual dining exception for Cinnabon Michael sues Garrett in Food Court (the honorable Judge Jessa Day presiding) to block him from ordering Cinnabon desserts outside of Cinnabon Nightmare Jimmy Buffett/dubstep hybrid music permeates the boys' ears as they scarf down their Cinnabon at an abandoned Margaritaville patio table A seemingly unconscious man on his truck bed has the boys wondering What's Going On Over There? JUB will help you manage your emotion
Applebee's: The Most Mediocre Restaurant in America (So Far) feat. Alan Tudyk (Resident Alien, Firefly)
Applebee's scores a 5.00 from one of the boys Michael tells about the time he chauffeured Ron Jeremy Alan Tudyk tags in as Steven's voice for this week's Cheese Review The presence of a Cinnabon-licensed dessert reignites an old debate Brisa reviews Applebee's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB wants to make the skimmest milk ever We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical
Red Lobster: Soaked in Butter feat. Casey Adler (The Upshaws, Bunheads, Stand-Up Comedy)
The boys are joined by comedian Casey Adler at Red Lobster The origins of Darden start at Red Lobster Casey recites a monologue on Red Lobster's stage Ollie reviews the Red Lobster kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings Garrett roams around the restaurant eating at different tables thanks to the You-Must Bowl JUB solves the lack of beverages named after Asians We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from ou
Literal Eternity at Benihana
It takes 2 hours for Michael & Garrett to finally get food in front of them A child pyromaniac in this week's "What's Going On Over There?" segment The least charismatic hibachi chef ever Michael & Garrett debate the merits of a restaurant having a minimum and maximum possible score before even walking in Wallace reviews Benihana's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB puts your customers to work We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to
"The Cleavage Effect" at Lucille's Smokehouse Bar-B-Que
Lucille's history provides some racial turmoil The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to wear a "Bride-to-Be" sash and tiara The boys enlist some Yelp from Strangers as the boys read their favorite 1 & 5-star Yelp reviews about the Lucille's they visited Garrett speculates that Lucille's is growing its future workforce in back Greta reviews Lucille's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB has a bone to pick with a hot security guard's pick-up methods We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly f
Analysis Paralysis at The Cheesecake Factory feat. Colin Mochrie (Whose Line Is It Anyway?)
Michael & Garrett get big casino hotel vibes from The Cheesecake Factory The Factory Apocalypse reanimates Cheesecake zombies Colin Mochrie from Whose Line Is It Anyway? voices cheese correspondent Steven's review of the Stuffed Cheddar Burger NEW SEGMENT: Yelp from Strangers, as the boys read their favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5-star Yelp reviews about the Cheesecake Factory they visited Nikki recounts her pervasive Cheesemares™ that haunted her dreams during her tenure as a Cheesecake Factory emplo
BONUS EPISODE: 20 Restaurants: The Current Scoreboard
Michael & Garrett look back at 20 (+1) restaurant visits and analyze if their scores look correct on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity JUB will help you fill your life with regrets Garrett comes clean about DMing with Gatti's Pizza A full rankings recap at the end We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!
CheeseGate at Chevys Fresh Mex
Michael & Garrett go all the way to south San Francisco just to eat at Chevys Fresh Mex Y'all ready for shits? CheeseGate sets Michael and Garrett off as their server cheeselights them The boys passionately debate the merits of Performance Enhancing Dessert-toppers Pierce reviews the Chevys kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB sells you the Art of Denial We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from ou
The Hooter Bowl feat. Bonnie Gordon (Star Trek: Prodigy) & Noah Gray (Kansas City Chiefs)
It's the HOOTER BOWL!! Grab some chips, sit back, and put on the game as the boys talk wings, waitresses, and what day the week starts on We're on video for this one! Go to our Patreon (link below) to watch this episode in all its true glory! The Hooter Bowl is jam-packed with commercials just like the Super Bowl, but potentially more ridiculous Bonnie Gordon battles noise complaints from Michael's neighbors as she performs "Four Letters (ADHD)" off her upcoming album Con Artist for the Hooter
We Took a Teenager to Chuck E. Cheese's feat. Chris Hansen (To Catch a Predator; Predators I've Caught) & Emma Danger
The boys bring Michael's second cousin (once removed) Emma to Chuck E. Cheese and she makes them feel elderly Chris Hansen from "To Catch a Predator" and the "Predators I've Caught" podcast reviews Chuck E. Cheese's cheesy bread on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita A passion for celery makes way for a Training Day-style Denzel monologue Brand new song "The Patreon Shuffle" is born Emma wins the Headline Game! What does that mean for next week's pick? JUB has a new best-selling item i
Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen: Greasy & Fussy feat. Tommy Chong
The boys feel sluggish and greasy as their Cheddar's meal obliterated their bodies Tommy Chong from "Cheech & Chong" reviews Cheddar's cheese fries on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita Garrett's You-Must Bowl punishment - where he can only speak to the wait staff in rhyme - tanks our service Michael's dad also tanks our service experience Bathe yourself in the new perfume scent Mediocrité JUB has a ploy to get all the free wood you could ever want from a Home Depot Additional voices
Luby's Gives Off Strong Nursing Home Vibes feat. Pumbaa from "The Lion King"
The boys get f***ing AMPED about their first cafeteria Pumbaa from "The Lion King" reviews Luby's mac & cheese on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita Michael & Garrett get to the bottom of why Luby's gave up on offering kids menus Michael wears a cone of shame Luby's nursing home feel scores a sponsorship from Old Old Ooooold SO OLD Navy JUB rallies against Goldblumers Additional voices: Ernie Sabella & Jessa Day Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!
Our Lowest Score Ever at GattiTown: A Tale of Two Gatti's
It's A Tale of Two Gatti's with the depressing dichotomy between buffet and arcade Michael & Garrett's air hockey game spills out to the entire arcade Garrett gets a huge wad of gum on his shoe Gray chocolate pudding and translucent fruits are a bad sign that this buffet will suck Michael tries desperately to win a blu-ray copy of Croods 2: A New Age and some full-size candy bars JUB will help you overcome the obstacles in your life Additional voices: Sandy Rose and Nick Adams Get our 5 Surviv
The Chuy's Kids Menu Situation is Dogsh*t
Michael's dad sets the bar too high for Mexican food Elvis lives at Chuy's 10 year-old Wil calls out Chuy's "kids menu" with the mouth of a sailor Fine Dining Cheese Correspondent Steven is not in Texas, so Michael's mom steps in The You-Must Bowl forces 3 mid-meal wardrobe changes 15-year Chuy's vet Kassie recalls The Miracle of the Tortilla JUBcaps and JUBHub comin' atcha! Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Chuy's stories at finediningpod
Michael Ruins His Alaskan King Crab at Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen
The fanciest restaurant yet surprises Michael & Garrett Three diary entries from His Majesty, the Alaskan King Crab A busser tries to steal a swimming pool JUB will teach you manners! 11 year-old Willa is too cool for the Pappadeaux kids menu Our waiter spills scalding hot butter on Garrett's hand Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Pappadeaux stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Le
Midnight Waffle House Is Wild feat. Jerry Springer
Michael & Garrett survive Waffle House on Halloween weekend at midnight Vape Man: Coming to a store near you this holiday season! Cheese Correspondent Steven has special guest Jerry Springer read his review of the Covered Hash Browns Former Waffle House employee Kendyll tells us just what happens at 3am at a Waffle House A Waffle House proposal lasts less than 24 hours JUB wants to repurpose your waffle batter A very special Headline Game: LIGHTNING ROUND! Michael has 2 minutes on the clock to
Joel McHale Voices Our Review of Bob's Big Boy's Famous Chili Spaghetti feat. Joel McHale & Michael's Mom
Michael & Garrett annoint their friend Steven as their Cheese Correspondent Steven's jaw isn't working so Joel McHale reads Steven's review for him (around the 47 minute mark) More You-Must Bowl shenanigans ensued as Michael recruits his mom to make a painting of Bob's Big Boy Michael's mom tells her side of the story when Michael was pulled over by Officer Hot Dog (hear the original story in episode 8!) The boys have truly bad service JUB works inside of the Big Boy statue Garrett takes on Mic
The $100 Tip at Rainforest Cafe
It's double date night at Rainforest Cafe Garrett inflates a gigantic pool toy at the table because of his You Must Bowl punishment Across the Sky podcast host Matt Holiner drops in to give a weather forecast for the Rainforest...Cafe Michael gives $100 to a balloon animal maker JUB has his own special ways of keeping the animatronics in check 6 year-old Austin tells his favorite joke on the Rainforest Kids Menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings Michael & Garrett hand out some high scores
Fantasy Birthday Brawl at Gyu-Kaku
It's Michael's 34th birthday dinner with almost a dozen friends! Michael & Garrett speculate why the bathroom is deafening Garrett sides with the waiter as a Dungeons & Dragons battle breaks out in the restaurant JUB will annoy your friends to ensure they're on time to their appointments 10 year-old Luke was snubbed by Gyu-Kaku in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings segment Michael & Garrett go in-depth on the expansive menu at Gyu-Kaku, even if they aren't always sure what they're eating Get
"Officer Hot Dog" Pulls Michael Over at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.
Michael & Garrett are immensely disappointed by the churro stand next to Bubba Gump Michael tells the story of getting pulled over in Alabama "for having California license plates" Forrest Gump narrates the boys' adventure JUB makes souvenir pennies 7 year-old Nora "hates the man on the bench" in another adorable Munchkin Menu Musings segment Michael & Garrett go HAM on Forrest Gump trivia Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Bubba Gump Shrim
Perfectly Adequate: Our Olive Garden Musical
WELCOME TO OUR MUSICAL EPISODE! You're reading that correctly! Michael & Garrett review Olive Garden The boys think they can top Olive Garden’s in-house soundtrack by creating one of their own! JUB gets a real job What's going on with there being SO MANY BIRTHDAYS at Olive Garden?? Former Olive Garden employee Trever Jones recounts meeting the love of his love on the job 3 year-old Yaretzi gives up on reviewing the kids menu, so her dad does it for her 7 full-length songs about Michael & Garret
The Pizza Hut You Grew Up With Is Dead
Michael & Garrett drive an hour away to review a Pizza Hut that still has a dine-in option The boys break their own rules because they were lied to by Yelp Why is Pizza Hut a magnet for cars crashing into them?? The boys discuss Pizza Hut’s marketing plan from the ‘90s to laser their logo onto the surface of the moon Garrett gives a eulogy Michael & Garrett fight over whether or not this dessert item is eligible to be rated Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.c
Denny’s at 2AM is Pure Chaos
Michael & Garrett review Denny’s (at 2 in the morning on a Saturday night) The Wild West of late night dining: college students and homeless people galore “What’s Going on over There?” is the theme of the night as there are so many unanswerable mysteries from this wild night, but the boys do their best to solve them The restaurant erupts with applause for a blindfolded Garrett after he finally gets his dessert to his mouth due to the You Must Bowl JUB hocks Peace & Quiet™ 4 year-old Preston fro
Drunk Boomers, Affairs, and Break-Ups at Island’s Fine Burgers & Drinks
Michael & Garrett review Island’s Fine Burgers & Drinks Michael goes off-the-menu with a discontinued burger order The boys enter a lottery for a free bike JUB has yet another business ploy 10 empty mugs of beer on an older couple’s table raise more questions than they answer The boys gush about THE BEST FRIES IN THE GAME 5 year-old Joaquin reviews the kids menu in this week’s Munchkin Menu Musings TWO listener-submitted stories about break-ups and infidelity involving Island's Get our 5 Sur
The Haunting of The Old Spaghetti Factory
Michael & Garrett review The Old Spaghetti Factory The most mediocre dinner so far takes a sharp turn when the boys discover the place is super haunted An interview with special guest, Paranormal Investigator/Psychic/Author Jeff Dwyer Michael raises some eyebrows when the You Must Bowl forces him to bring a pineapple to dinner and insist it’s his son Michael & Garrett tell you all about why they nicknamed the guy sitting across from them “Milk Steve the Cream Lord” JUB offers to bust ghosts 7 y
Why Garrett Will Never Return to Buffalo Wild Wings
Michael & Garrett review Buffalo Wild Wings A ceiling leak rains on the boys’ parade The atmosphere almost gives Garrett a panic attack The security feed lets the boys know THEY’RE BEING WATCHED Garrett sets his mouth on fire JUB is back with a brand new business Michael writes and performs B-Dubs’s unofficial corporate birthday song Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Buffalo Wild Wings stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com. Follow us on
We Found the Greatest Server in the World at Outback Steakhouse
Michael & Garrett review Outback Steakhouse The boys bow to the greatness of the perfect appetizer JUB will punch your lights out Michael & Garrett are mistaken for corporate quality control/private shoppers as management rolls out the red carpet 9 year-old Miles reviews the kids menu Michael issues an apology to Anthony Anderson’s brother A former Outback employee remembers the time a couple got 5 orders of the Aussie Cheese Fries Michael challenges Garrett to The Headline Game Get our 5 Su
Fine Dining Podcast Trailer
Two best buds who literally met in a food court have embarked on the ultimate food journey: to find out once and for all what the MOST MEDIOCRE RESTAURANT is. Michael Ornelas and Garrett Zwerk are going to all the big restaurant chains in search of the epitome of average, that perfect 5.00 rating out of 10. Reviewing the atmosphere, service, and food, Michael and Garrett are determined to find the measuring stick we can all use when comparing restaurants. Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dinin