Welcome To Patchwork

Welcome To Patchwork

Christian, Dion and Josh

**Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019** Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Patch #139 - Have you ever walked away from a queue?

Patch #139 - Have you ever walked away from a queue?

Dion and Christian argue over whether someone can feel proud of arriving to a location on time. Josh tries to share a frustrating experience of being stuck in a queue that wasn't moving at the Australian Open but neither Dion or Christian can understand what he's saying. After some translating, we discuss the circumstances that might make someone leave a queue early and whether those circumstances change when waiting in a phone queue. Finally, Dion asks Josh and Christian to really consider whet

Feb 17, • 36:42

Patch 138 - Do You Have Unreasonably High Expectations?

Patch 138 - Do You Have Unreasonably High Expectations?

We're back with Season 10! Misdelivered packages, passive-aggressive laundry, and the correct way to clean a percolator. This week Dion's Rooibos Challenge for a Fridge Friend takes a turn for the ethically ambiguous. Josh reveals the depths of his percolator cleanliness standards, and Dion confronts Christian on his plan to install roller shutters and 24/7 security cameras in his new home. Are they a symbol of suburban bliss or too Italian?  Plus, a typically spirited debate on the concept of "

Feb 4, • 36:41

Patch #137 - Should You Mow Your Neighbour's Nature Strip?

Patch #137 - Should You Mow Your Neighbour's Nature Strip?

After 27 weeks, 3 additional kilos and no ageing, Dion is back in the Patchwork Studio! He tells us some brothy stories of his culinary experiences and recalls an awkwardly silent breakfast experience at a hostel. We then discuss what factors make for a positive hostel experience - is atmosphere or cleanliness more important? Does that answer change if some of the other guests absolutely stink? Christian gets frustrated at the volume of zippers and we try to invent a better closing mechanism for

Dec 17, 2024 • 37:20

Patch #136 - Do You Read The Other Messages In A Farewell Card?

Patch #136 - Do You Read The Other Messages In A Farewell Card?

After countless people telling him to get one, Christian has finally purchased an air fryer and won't shut up about it! But what really is an air fryer? Is it just small oven? Is small oven better cook reddit? As the discussion develops, both Christian and Josh lose the ability to form full sentences but manage to discuss the research and development behind air fryer pre configured modes.  For your main course, how much do you give a coworker departing a workplace? Josh poses this question to Ch

Dec 3, 2024 • 33:19

Patch #135 - Are You Good At Napping?

Patch #135 - Are You Good At Napping?

After another lengthy break, Josh and Christian are back in the WTP studio and the first thing they can think to talk about is how podcast consumption aint what it used to be. It's all content, content, content these days! Maybe if we posted a little more regularly, we would actually have some content to turn into clips.  Christian kicks off the 'content' by recalling a recent interaction with a colleague/friend of Josh's who claimed that she was 'good at napping'. Christian was stunned. Isn't n

Nov 19, 2024 • 31:29

Patch #134 - Can You Handle Silence In Conversations?

Patch #134 - Can You Handle Silence In Conversations?

We have wiped away the emotional cobwebs of the Depression Sessions and are ready for a little more unstructured fun. Christian picks up on Josh's brute force attempt to bring colour to the podcast before we both become self-conscious of our most overused phrases. We quickly move onto discussing workplace attire and some of the characters in our workplaces. Is there anything wrong with wearing an oodie to work? Is wearing a suit antiquated?  Christian reflects on the clever parenting technique h

Sep 3, 2024 • 35:49

Patch #133 - The Depression Sessions (Frankly Mr Chatly)

Patch #133 - The Depression Sessions (Frankly Mr Chatly)

On a cold Monday night in August 2024, tired from just existing, Josh and Christian decided to record Patch 133, "The Depression Sessions" aka Frankly Mr Chatly. For any first time listeners, this is not the Patch for you.  Christian and Josh reflect on winter and the sadness of realising that you're already half way through the year. Christian and Josh then exchange some stories from a night out the week before; Christian looks like a little boy, Josh accidentally made a back zipper on his cost

Aug 20, 2024 • 35:40

Patch #132 - Is Your Fridge Overflowing With Half Filled Jars? ft. Nelson Allingham

Patch #132 - Is Your Fridge Overflowing With Half Filled Jars? ft. Nelson Allingham

Christian and Josh are joined in the Patchwork studio by the handsome and hilarious Nelson Allingham, host of the Read It On Reddit podcast. Christian welcomes Nelson by confessing that he often passively listens to his podcast while completing chores before tragically revealing that he prematurely retired one of his jumpers from rotation by wearing it to bed. Nelson sympathises and offers a compromise of sleeping with no clothes but believes one of the tell tale signs of a sleep top, is the nec

Aug 6, 2024 • 52:12

Patching Up With Dion in Fukuoka, Japan

Patching Up With Dion in Fukuoka, Japan

While they were busy lining up the next Patchwork guest host, Christian and Josh decided to kill two birds with one stone and turned their long overdue catch up with Dion into content for the podcast. Through the miracle of "internet", Dion joins Christian and Josh in the studio to talk through some highlights from his trip including visiting an active volcano, repelling black bears with a bell, buffet breakfasts, why Josh loves processes, making nitpicky friends while overseas, the etiquette of

Jul 23, 2024 • 48:50

Patch #131 - Where Does A Used Teaspoon Go? ft. Nat Harris

Patch #131 - Where Does A Used Teaspoon Go? ft. Nat Harris

Christian and Josh are joined by the supremely talented comedian Nat Harris for Patch 131! Nat is about to perform a replay of her Melbourne International Comedy Festival show "Lathered" at Comedy Republic on Tuesday July 16. Purchase tickets through the Comedy Republic website! We kick off the episode by fighting about who has a better 'natural' reading voice before Nat reveals that she bleeds from the eyes and gums due to a stigmatism. Hot start alert! Christian expresses his dislike for peopl

Jul 9, 2024 • 1:04:04

Patch #130 - Do You Make Offers You Can't Keep? ft. Michael Campbell

Patch #130 - Do You Make Offers You Can't Keep? ft. Michael Campbell

Michael "Cambo" Campbell of Cancelled Movie Report and Read It On Reddit joins Josh and Christian and is immediately attached for his nickname and the silent "p" in his surname. Don't we treat our guests well!   Christian kicks off proceedings by asking Cambo and Josh what they would do if someone asked to grant them access to a building that required fob access. Would you let them in and then assume they were up to no good? Or do you, like Cambo, "run a loose fob ship"? Should you track their m

Jun 25, 2024 • 45:04

Patch #129 - What's Your Approach To Taking A Sick Day? ft. Laura Dunemann

Patch #129 - What's Your Approach To Taking A Sick Day? ft. Laura Dunemann

While Dion is away, the cats will play! And these cats have decided to invite veteran of the comedy scene and Patchwork's first ever repeat guest co-host, Laura Dunemann, onto the podcast! We kick off Patch 129 by making Christian feel more self conscious about his most recent Uniqlo purchase, an Arctic white turtleneck jumper. He's a Christmas rom-com cameo, he's exploring the Polar ice-caps and he's a villainous tech billionaire.  Laura, married and mother of 1, discloses that when her husband

Jun 11, 2024 • 52:50

Patreon Bonus - Do You Wear Shoes Around The House?

Patreon Bonus - Do You Wear Shoes Around The House?

Surprise, main feed Patchworkers! Get a taste of what the Patreon subscribers are receiving every fortnight with this weeks Bonus Patch. Join for as little as $2 a month to support the show and guarantee yourself some Patchwork every week. Jump onto patreon.com/welcometopatchwork In this Bonus Patch, Josh kicks off by asking Dion and Christian what's going on their feet first thing in the morning. Are you wearing shoes? Just socks? Barefeet? Does the weather impact your decision?  Josh talks us

May 21, 2024 • 13:47

Patch #128 - What Are the Signs You've Overstayed Your Welcome?

Patch #128 - What Are the Signs You've Overstayed Your Welcome?

This Patch starts with Josh expressing concern over his own reaction to a message chain in the Patchwork thread. Christian and Dion can't hold back their pride for a Josh looking to grow and learn. We scratch the surface of Josh's brain and try to understand whether it's to react with frustration to a text message that is checking up on you. Is it harder than ever to interact with friends via messaging? Why do we read so much into EVERYTHING?! Dion then beautifully pronounces charcuterie before

May 14, 2024 • 43:13

Patch #127 - Is A Sniff More Annoying Than A Cough?

Patch #127 - Is A Sniff More Annoying Than A Cough?

Christian is sick! He's sick and selfish. He begins the Patch by telling Josh and Dion about the poor decision he made to ride public transport while sick and the consequent pressure of having to 'cover up' his illness. After some light berating, we get to the heart of the matter, which is more annoying, a sniff? Or a cough? And what makes it annoying? The frequency? The sound? And do we dare discuss sneezing? We then reminisce on being judged if you ever blew your nose loudly as a child.  Josh

Apr 30, 2024 • 43:22

Patch #126 - Are You Ever Obliged To Give Up A Parking Spot?

Patch #126 - Are You Ever Obliged To Give Up A Parking Spot?

Christian found a fantastic parking spot opposite the church at his nephew’s christening but isn’t sure whether the spot should be reserved for immediate family. Dion quickly finds a parallel to another moment Christian found a premium parking spot on the day of his auction. Does the finders keepers rule apply to parking spots? Or should you be considerate of those who may need to spot more than you?  We then ponder, why do humans refrain from stealing those enormous mounds of gravel and mulch d

Apr 16, 2024 • 40:24

Patch #125 - Do You Confidently Slice Food In Half?

Patch #125 - Do You Confidently Slice Food In Half?

Christian has finally found the elderly neighbours he’s been looking for and, typically, they came in the form of a bowl of tomatoes. Dion questions the neighbours' motives and warns Christian by recounting the parable of his neighbour in sheep’s clothing. We then chat about rubbish collection and Josh laments finding a mystery coffee cup at the bottom of your freshly emptied bin.  Are you confident when cutting food in half? Are you worried about the dreaded ‘bigger half’? Does a muffin deserve

Apr 2, 2024 • 43:11

Patch #124 - How Should You Subtly Glance At Someone?

Patch #124 - How Should You Subtly Glance At Someone?

Ohhhhh wow! We're back from 7 months off and we're out of practice. We kick off by recalling a micro highlight from our trips abroad: Christian visited a Christian themed amusement park, Dion visited a capybara themed amusement park for ducks and Josh watched a man interact with natural history.  Christian starts the episode proper by lamenting his ability to casually organise an event. Are you someone who can casually put together an event and be fine not knowing who is coming and when? If an i

Mar 19, 2024 • 41:15

Goodbye...for now

Goodbye...for now

Dearest Patchworkers, we're taking a bit of a break. Christian is doing some extended travel so there won't be regular releases for pretty much the rest of the year. We can't thank you enough for your support over the last 6 years. Looking forward to being back in your favourite podcatcher sometime again in the future. But for the moment, it's goodbye. Big hugs and three loud kisses oxxxSupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informatio

Aug 1, 2023 • 2:21

Patch #123 - How Should You Kill Time At A Chemist?

Patch #123 - How Should You Kill Time At A Chemist?

Christian receives a mysterious hand gesture from a concerned citizen but manages to decipher it.  We also ponder the age old question - what's the difference between 'tips' and 'advice'? Christian's psych definitely got it wrong when asked about travel tips. This conversation devolves into Christian and Dion bullying Josh for having the audacity to talk to his friends about things that he is passionate about.  Dion tells us his strategies for picking an aisle when he needs to traverse through t

Jul 18, 2023 • 46:12

Patch #122 - Is It Rude To Text Someone During A Speech?

Patch #122 - Is It Rude To Text Someone During A Speech?

Christian questions whether Josh can sell his abandoned basketball for profit. He's simply a man looking for answers.  Josh's comedy group Game Boys won a freakin Green Room Award! So we discuss what genuine surprises we still have in life and if it's rude to send messages and be on social media during a speech.  Finally Christian tells the longwided story of an old man bumping him on the train. Do we give elderly people too much of a pass these days? Both Josh and Dion also have some tales of p

Jul 4, 2023 • 41:18

Patch #121 - Are You Easily Embarrassed In Public?

Patch #121 - Are You Easily Embarrassed In Public?

Christian and Josh open this episode with a rather frank discussion about the many hairstyles of the artist P!NK. We explore the unspoken bravery of dying her hair blonde and her notoriety in Australia. Christian then finds a subtle way to tell Josh he's balding and shouldn't colour his hair.  Josh then tells us about his new job delivering groceries and the torture of having to relearn how to drive a manual (Emmanuel). Do you judge people who struggle to park? Are you an anxious driver? Is Josh

Jun 20, 2023 • 43:12

Patch #120 - Do You Shake Hands With Friends?

Patch #120 - Do You Shake Hands With Friends?

Josh hosted another party and this time he's taking aim at those partygoers who take other people's drinks. Is it expected that the host will supply drinks? Should you be precious about the drinks you bring to a party?  Dion then asks Christian and Josh for the right context in which a handshake is the right greeting? Is there a more appropriate embrace for a friend? Do you feel comfortable hugging a stranger? We then ask the big question, why do we need the shake in handshake? Christian then re

Jun 6, 2023 • 43:54

Patch #119 - Should You Wait For Others Before Eating?

Patch #119 - Should You Wait For Others Before Eating?

We’re back, again! Jeez, we spend a lot time not recording this podcast. Anyway, you get what you’re given. If you want more, become a Patreon! This Patch opens with Dion telling us about his recent trip to Texas and a close call with a tornado. We then discuss people who think they’re cool for not liking nature and using TikTok to follow live events. Christian then recalls a time that he went for dinner with a couple of friends who refused to start eating until his meal arrived. Is this conside

May 23, 2023 • 40:51

PatchGPT

PatchGPT

Prepare for an outrageous and side-splitting comedy experience in this special episode of our podcast! Brace yourself for a laughter-filled adventure as the entire episode has been crafted by the comedic genius of ChatGPT, the AI language model with an uncanny knack for humour. Get ready to be entertained by a non-stop barrage of jokes, humorous anecdotes, and hilarious situations. ChatGPT's algorithmic wit will leave you in stitches as it delivers punchlines, engages in comedic dialogues, and s

May 10, 2023 • 4:49

Patch #118 - Do You Need Total Darkness To Fall Asleep?

Patch #118 - Do You Need Total Darkness To Fall Asleep?

Open wide and come inside! For this Patch, we've each written a new catchphrase that we'll drop into the episode at an appropriate time (and by appropriate time, we mean somewhere in the first 10 minutes because we were all too excited to hold on to them). Christian asks Josh and Dion to be a sounding board about a prank played on his friend's mum. We then wonder, who are pranks for? Are they ever funny? Is a prank just 'accessible bullying'? Josh tries to find an example of a harmless, good pra

Apr 4, 2023 • 45:55

Patch #117 - Do You Make New Plans After An Event Is Cancelled?

Patch #117 - Do You Make New Plans After An Event Is Cancelled?

Josh is woken up by the incessant banging of some tradesmen and Christian and Dion wonder whether this could be improving Josh's life. We then discuss why tradies need to start work so early? Christian then tells Josh and Dion about feeling relief about an upcoming event being cancelled. He sees the night now as 'free' and able to be reclaimed as a night off - Josh and Dion think the right course of action is to plan a different night out with the same group who would have attended the event. Oh

Mar 21, 2023 • 42:14

Patch #116 - How Much Finger Food Can You Take From A Tray?

Patch #116 - How Much Finger Food Can You Take From A Tray?

Josh calls out Dion for asking a friend to hotspot internet so he could top up his phone credit, Dion vehemently tries to defend himself by revealing that he actually purchased his sim card from a supermarket. It becomes clear that no one is right and we've wasted each others time and energy; much like all the Welcome to Patchwork episodes. Christian went to his cousin's 30th and his only take away from the evening was, how long can you make someone holding a platter wait while you take food fro

Mar 7, 2023 • 37:21

Patch #115 - How Do You Find The Toilet In A Restaurant?

Patch #115 - How Do You Find The Toilet In A Restaurant?

Christian kicks off this episode by wishing himself an early happy birthday and then asks Dion and Josh how they feel about receiving 'happy birthday' messages before their actual birthday. Does receiving an early birthday message change the sentiment? Or is it the same as receiving it on the day?  Are you annoyed when someone asks you where the toilets are in a restaurant? This is what Christian confronted Josh with at the Patchwork Christmas Party. What is your system for finding toilets in a

Feb 21, 2023 • 39:05

Patch #114 - When Do You Save Someone As A Contact?

Patch #114 - When Do You Save Someone As A Contact?

We're back for Season 8 baby! To kick it all off, Christian takes aim at Josh for giving him 1 hour to confirm he was available for a catchup before making other plans. Josh tell us about his frustration at some unsaved numbers in a friendly WhatsApp thread which leads us to ask - when should you add someone as a contact in your phone? What makes a person worthy of contact status? After exploring what the threshold is for saving them, we then look at what makes us delete a number from our phone?

Feb 7, 2023 • 35:05

Patch #113 - How To Handle The Heat

Patch #113 - How To Handle The Heat

As summer heats up (or you're listening to this in winter and have got the heater on really high), it's time we taught you how to beat the heat! We start by talking about the moment we 'know summer has arrived', the ozone layer and how we fixed the whole CFC thing?!! Right? Dion then takes us through UV ratings, we talk methods for applying sunscreen and asking people to rub sunscreen into your back. We then look at the factors that inform how we dress on a warm day, looking for the perfect amou

Jan 24, 2023 • 38:08

Patch #112 - How To Go Grocery Shopping

Patch #112 - How To Go Grocery Shopping

Grab a handful of canvas bags and a gold coin because Welcome to Patchwork is teaching you how to go grocery shopping. What prompts you to go grocery shopping? How do you manage your shopping list? What's your shopping strategy once you step foot inside the supermarket? If you lose the person you're with, how do you find them? Should you ever shop on an empty stomach? This Patch is full of big questions with tiny answers. In fact, the answers are so small you can barely hear them. What you will

Dec 6, 2022 • 39:04

Patch #111 - How To Recycle

Patch #111 - How To Recycle

In Patch 111, we rip the sticky tape off our cardboard packaging and chat all things recycling. We begin by asking ourselves why we recycle. Is it for the environment? Or is it to avoid the scorn of others? We explore why Josh goes through his housemate's rubbish, the magic and mystery of where our rubbish goes and the history of our attitude towards recycling. We then shift gears and talk about buying and selling secondhand goods, product lifecycles, the necessary inclusions of an online ad and

Nov 22, 2022 • 39:51

Patch #110 - How To Wait In A Line

Patch #110 - How To Wait In A Line

In Patch 110, we cloak our jackets, skip the queue and talk all things waiting in line. We start by exploring each of our first instincts when approaching a line. Josh establishes the core types of line: single, mess and multi-stream, whilst Christian declares himself a Line Captain. Is Dion cutthroat? Does he call out a line cutter? We discuss some of the best, worst and most embarrassing lines. Josh flips the narrative and tells us about his experience as a cowboy bartender who needs to wrangl

Nov 8, 2022 • 42:58

Patch #109 - How To Declutter Your Home

Patch #109 - How To Declutter Your Home

In Patch 109, we roll around in the mud, feed from the trough and eventually discuss all things clutter and collectibles.   We start by exploring how to best hide clutter in your very own home. Whether it's in piles, hidden in storage containers or blocking a robot vacuum, our clutter manifests in very different forms. But what even is a pile? And what is a container, if not simply a place to store your piles. We then dive into sentimental clutter. Can it ever be thrown out given the memories it

Oct 25, 2022 • 41:06

Patch #108 - How To Send A Text Message

Patch #108 - How To Send A Text Message

BUMP! In Patch 108, we make sure our phone credit is topped up as we step into the world of text messaging.   Josh encourages Christian and Dion to become cryptographers as we try to text-spell famous abbreviations; we dissect swiping on a keyboard and many other methods for typing; Christian admires how young people use their phones; Josh encourages us to soften our tone; Christian wonders when he should abandon hope for a response to a text message and Dion tries to uncover the best way to rem

Oct 11, 2022 • 44:34

Patch #107 - How To Get Dressed For The Day

Patch #107 - How To Get Dressed For The Day

From preparing the night before to cuffing your sleeves, Patch 107 covers the gamut of a morning dress up routine. Josh talks us through the first thing he does in the morning before putting on clothes; Christian explores the relationship between wearing nice clothes and being productive and Dion explains why he wears an elastic band as a bracelet. Josh stuns us with the structures and systems he has implemented in his life, Christian explores his 7-day cycle and Dion begs us to consider the rul

Sep 27, 2022 • 35:21

Patch #106 - How To Enjoy A Flight

Patch #106 - How To Enjoy A Flight

Please keep your seatbelts fastened for Patch 106 as we teach you how to enjoy a flight!   We start by covering what we pack in our carry on: Josh is obsessed with charging his devices, Dion has an interesting kind of neck pillow and Christian reflects on a magical moment with a reclining Italian man. We then look at what we first do to settle into the flight: where do you put your feet? do you think about what films you'll watch? We also discuss how much water we drink during the flight and the

Sep 13, 2022 • 34:51

Patch #105 - How To Choose A Restaurant

Patch #105 - How To Choose A Restaurant

We all enjoy eating at restaurants. But have you ever really thought about how or why we choose those restaurants? In this Patch, we dive into some of the key considerations that go into picking a restaurant. Are you swayed by spruikers throwing in a glass of wine? Will you pick a 'feed me' option? Do you care about the name of the restaurant? In this episode, Josh expresses his love for menus stuck to the front window of a restaurant, Christian vents about the 'please wait to be seated' sign an

Aug 30, 2022 • 36:46

Patch #104 - How To Open A Door

Patch #104 - How To Open A Door

We navigate the difficult questions and considerations around walking through doors. First door in our line of sight is the revolving door. After dissecting some of the nuances of entering one of the revolving door 'slices', we look at some of the other classic doors: sliding doors, fly-screens, car doors, van doors and the enigmatic turnstiles and plastic strips at the front of milkbars. After talking about our favourite types of doors, we move onto key chains and the keys you carry. Finally, w

Aug 16, 2022 • 48:24

Patch #103 - How To Enjoy Your Birthday

Patch #103 - How To Enjoy Your Birthday

Should you wish someone happy birthday in a group thread if you've already wished them happy birthday in your own separate thread. We also ponder what questions you should ask someone on their birthday. Plus Christian reveals how many of his childhood birthdays were spent at Crown: A World of Entertainment. Plus find out if you can give Gordon's Gin as a present!   Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwo

Aug 2, 2022 • 44:30

Patch #102 - How To Try Before You Buy

Patch #102 - How To Try Before You Buy

This week we give you the indispensable instruction manual on how to properly try shoes, clothes and cars. Dion gives us a surprise Roobois Challenge, and Christian writes the rulebook for when you can return items to a store.   Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork   For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch in our off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/

Jul 19, 2022 • 41:35

Patch #101 - How To Record A Podcast

Patch #101 - How To Record A Podcast

Dion, Christian and Josh are back for Season 7! Join the boys as they cast their minds all the way back to Episode 1 nearly five years ago. They discuss their updated 2022 insecurities, Dion gives an update on his never-ending revolving door of hairdressers, and of course, what they are now Doyens of. Plus old school games ”Monotoly” and Really Good!    Remember to follow us on social media inc YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook and head to Patreon for bonus content: www.patreon.com/welcom

Jul 5, 2022 • 49:28

Patch #100 - Is Saying Hello Or Goodbye More Important? (Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2022)

Patch #100 - Is Saying Hello Or Goodbye More Important? (Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2022)

Patch 100 was recorded LIVE at Brunswick Ballroom on April 9 2022 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.   Josh confronts Dion about something he noticed whilst editing the podcast, we prioritise hellos and goodbyes and finally, discuss making room for dessert.   We were also joined on stage by very special guests Meshel Laurie and Daniel Connell to talk stealing shopping trollies and kissing your mother on the lips.   A big big thank you to everyone who attended the live show!

Jun 21, 2022 • 1:03:14

Quick Update & Planning For Season 7

Quick Update & Planning For Season 7

After months of radio silence, Christian, Dion and Josh are on the mend and ready to return.   We wanted to record a quick update to let you know what we've been up to the last few months and our plans to return for Season 7.   Thank you for holding down the fort. We're back!... That is our seat though. Yeah. The one you're sitting on. Yeah. We were sitting on it just before we left. Yeah but it doesn't matter that we've been gone for 3 months - we left our glass there. We were always going to c

Jun 6, 2022 • 25:10

Patchwork Rewind #2: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 2)

Patchwork Rewind #2: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 2)

For the second week running, to whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 2 last year. Get your tickets to this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here! https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode   Recorded LIVE on April 18, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.   Is it acceptable to leave a live event early? What should you do if you stop next to

Mar 29, 2022 • 50:09

2022 Comedy Festival (Sat 9 April) - Do You Tell People At Work If It's Your Birthday?

2022 Comedy Festival (Sat 9 April) - Do You Tell People At Work If It's Your Birthday?

We're performing our 100th episode live show baby! Listen to this short little trailer while booking tickets to our bloody show. With special guests comedians Meshel Laurie and Daniel Connell! Also jump on any of our social media channels to see this audio recording brought to life in 4-DIMENSIONAL video: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode   We cannot wait for this.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener

Mar 23, 2022 • 6:42

Patchwork Rewind #1: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 1)

Patchwork Rewind #1: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 1)

To whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 1 last year. Get your tickets for this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode   Recorded LIVE on April 11, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.   What time does a host need to arrive to their event? Should you pause your conversation when a waiter begins to s

Mar 22, 2022 • 39:19

Patch #99 - When Is It Appropriate To Compliment A Stranger?

Patch #99 - When Is It Appropriate To Compliment A Stranger?

Christian received a wonderful compliment while riding his bike and he was thoroughly chuffed. He tells us about how chuffed he was. Megachuffed.   Josh has big issues with message reactions. What was wrong with a good 'haha' or a 'lol' - there's too many options now and it's an absolute disgrace. Does reacting to a message signify simple acknowldgement or is it rude and dismissive?   We also discuss if you should always go and visit a friends 'new place' and what you're looking out for when vis

Mar 8, 2022 • 36:35

Patch #98 - How Generously Should You Spread Butter On Toast?

Patch #98 - How Generously Should You Spread Butter On Toast?

Josh wonders why Christian and Dion chose to print their name while signing the pair of elf slippers ew auctioned off. Turns out Christian would rather get a celebrity print their name rather than sign it.   We all agree that shopping centre interactive maps are very confronting and give you a false sense of security until you instantly get lost at the corner of the National Geogrpahic and JB Hi-Fi wondering if you were meant to turn right or turn due South.   It's Dion's turn for 'Good at / Bad

Feb 22, 2022 • 36:16

Patch #97 - Would You Accept A Reward For Finding A Lost Pet?

Patch #97 - Would You Accept A Reward For Finding A Lost Pet?

Josh attempts (and fails) to set the record straight about drinking Dion's beer - turns out he's technically correct, the best kind of correct, but morally bankrupt. Christian's shares his latest get rich quick scheme which is pet-napping. We also realise that losing your wallet isn't anywhere near as bad as it once was.   Dion discovers that his work colleague owns the same pair of shoes that he does and he is filled with shame and regret. He is also the only one of us to have experienced this

Feb 8, 2022 • 37:58

Patch #96 - Is It Uncool To Plan An Overseas Trip In A Spreadsheet?

Patch #96 - Is It Uncool To Plan An Overseas Trip In A Spreadsheet?

We're back baby! With a very special announcement and some classic Patchwork. There's bones to be picked and befores to get started.   Christian takes issue with Josh trying to sell some Elf Slippers online which spirals into some hairbrained scheme of Christian's to list brand new clothes online the day he buys them.   We also dive deep into what things make us feel cool and also uncool. One universal truth we seem to land on that there is something particularly cool about sunglasses.   With ve

Jan 25, 2022 • 30:29

Patchwork returns Jan 26th!

Patchwork returns Jan 26th!

We've had a bit juicy break to rest and recoup and can't wait to get back into your ears in 2022! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 21, 2022 • 1:03

Patch #95 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2021

Patch #95 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2021

Merry Christmas Patchworkers! In our annual Christmas episode we cover the Christmas menu. How fixed is your families Christmas menu? Do new dishes ever make it on? Christian has been trying (and failing) to add vegan dishes to his heavily Italian Christmas to no avail. Maybe 2021 will be the year.   Christian also lays down his patented 'Gift Giving Guide' - it's all you'll ever need to figure out what to buy someone for any occasion.   There's also a visit from Santa and a very special young b

Dec 21, 2021 • 37:26

Patch #94 - How Urgently Do You Fill Up A Low Petrol Tank?

Patch #94 - How Urgently Do You Fill Up A Low Petrol Tank?

There's yet another twist to the saga of Samantha the turtle! Let's hope Josh stops milking a lost turtle for content, after this week.   We find out who among us holds the record for 'most times car has completely run out of petrol' and how lazy they are. We fully cover our strategies for filling our tanks including some more life hacks from Dion's dad.   We also try out a new segment called 'Good at, Bad at'. Josh is up this week and we explore how useless he is with interior decorating but co

Dec 14, 2021 • 39:03

Patch #93 - What’s The Furthest You’d Walk To  An Event?

Patch #93 - What’s The Furthest You’d Walk To An Event?

Turns out that Dion hates a meandering walk but Christian and Josh love to go for a trot - conversation ensues. We find out our limits for how far we're willing to walk and under what conditions. Christian also reveals something shocking about his feet.   We also take a trip to the tuck shop and reminisce about our old tuck shop orders and most likely what we'd order now as adults.   Josh gives us an update on the Turtle saga for those who followed that story on our instagram.   With very specia

Nov 30, 2021 • 33:03

Patch #92 - How Should You Pass The Time Whilst Waiting For A Food Delivery?

Patch #92 - How Should You Pass The Time Whilst Waiting For A Food Delivery?

We discuss if it's ok to simply hang up a phone call while it's ringing, or if you should let it ring out to be polite. Christian thinks that under no circumstance can you hang up and he takes us through his '4 ring classification system'. We also delve into what kind of activities are permitted to be undertaken while waiting for your food delivery to arrive. Dion apparently loves to do a bit of a backyard prune!   Josh also delivers the second part of his story about Kamahl. This installment de

Nov 16, 2021 • 32:20

Patch #91 - How I Became Friends With Kamahl

Patch #91 - How I Became Friends With Kamahl

Christian picks a bone with Josh's tuneless whistling. We discuss what we've been up to since lockdown has lifted here in Melbourne. Number one post lockdown activity on Dion's list was a hair cut - is that weird? I rekon it's a bit weird. Christian is desperate to get into a store and sit on a couch as he seeks to furnish his new place and Josh just wants to do the boring thing of 'socialising' - what a commie bastard!   Josh also regales us with the story of how he became friends with Kamahl.

Nov 2, 2021 • 33:53

Patch #90 - Are You Ever The First Person To Clap?

Patch #90 - Are You Ever The First Person To Clap?

How confident are you in being that first person to put their hands together at the end of a performance? It's a big risk, what if you get it wrong? They'll boo you out of the theatre, probably. We also critique those pointless empty gestures like pretending to pick something up that's fallen over when you have absolutely no intetion at all to follow through. Why would you bend over like a chump when someone else will, and by faking it you still get credit for trying. Just don't pause and hover

Oct 19, 2021 • 36:03

Patch #89 - Should You Peel The Foil Entirely Off A Dip?

Patch #89 - Should You Peel The Foil Entirely Off A Dip?

We talk animal shelters, flat tyres and delivery estimate etiquette. Josh clumisly wades into dog eugenics while Christian can't stop talking about sexy dogs.   We also go deep on dip. Should the foil stay or go once the seal has been broken? We just can't decide, what do you rekon? We also discover that Dion has shocking sour cream application technique.   With very special guests 'Wheel of Fortune Cookie' and 'Really Good'.   Josh's 'Game Boys' Melbourne Fringe show 'Hey Hey It's Lockdown' is

Oct 5, 2021 • 36:39

Patch #88 - What Turns A Catch-Up Into A Night Out?

Patch #88 - What Turns A Catch-Up Into A Night Out?

"The boys are back in town, the boys are back in towwwnnnn." *sung to the tune of "Boys Are Back In Town".   While we've been hating our lives in lockdown, Dion's been gardening and ruminating on what could've been if he'd ever got a job at Bunnings. We give some advice to a Patreon in need whose housemate is taking way too much credit for recommending she try oat milk. We also tackle the age old question of what is required for an evening to be considered a 'night out' rather than just a catch-

Sep 21, 2021 • 37:54

Lockdown Update

Lockdown Update

Hello Patchworkers, it's been too long! Sorry for not communicating clearly with you as to what's been going on with the show. The short version is: 'it's been a bit shit during lockdown here in Melbourne, hasn't it?'.A juicy update for you all as we get back into it! Patchreons, keep an eye on the Patchreon feed for a big chat about how we've been feeling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/l

Sep 16, 2021 • 5:32

Patch #87 - Do You Need To Leave A Light On When Someone Leaves The House?

Patch #87 - Do You Need To Leave A Light On When Someone Leaves The House?

'What is the purpose of the front porch light if not to be left on for members of the household currently out of the house!?' says Josh indignantly during this episode. He's sick of fumbling with his keys while Christian sits inside laughing at how much electricity he's saving. The trio also ponder what's required of both parties when someone turns up to your house before you're ready. We also settle on our dream jobs if we were to have lived back in the Wild West in a frontier town and take a v

Aug 3, 2021 • 33:37

Patch #86 - What Is A Reasonable Reaction To Seeing A Mouse?

Patch #86 - What Is A Reasonable Reaction To Seeing A Mouse?

What is the etiquette surrounding after hours emails? Is there such a thing as an over-enthusiastic active listener? And Dion is shocked by Christian and Josh's reaction to seeing a mouse in their house - you won't believe what he says! With very special guests 'Sound Check and of course 'Really Good'.Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our socia

Jul 20, 2021 • 29:15

Live at the Melbourne Podcast Festival - Sunday 1st August

Live at the Melbourne Podcast Festival - Sunday 1st August

Grab your tickets to our next live show as part of the Melbourne Podcast Festival! Join us at the Jam Factory on Sunday August 1st at 2:15pm. https://melbournepodcastfestival.com/podcast/welcome-to-patchwork/ Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jul 8, 2021 • 2:47

Patch #85 - Whose Responsibility Is It To Remove Tissues From Pockets Before A Wash?

Patch #85 - Whose Responsibility Is It To Remove Tissues From Pockets Before A Wash?

How do you apply sauce to your food? Are you a side or top saucer? Can you defer a house tour? What do you point out when giving someone a tour of your house? Whose responsibility is it to check pockets for tissues before a wash? Do you enjoy the feeling of a warm towel after a shower? With very special guests, Oh Wow, Mad Lifts and of course Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://li

Jul 6, 2021 • 29:43

Patch #84 - How Much Water Should You Add To An Empty Shampoo Bottle?

Patch #84 - How Much Water Should You Add To An Empty Shampoo Bottle?

Dion encourages thieves to steal his car; Josh takes a nap, fully clothed; we discuss the lengths we all go to when using up the last little bits of a product and we help another listener who calls in to the Patchwork Helpline.With very special guests, Copy Cat, and Wheel of Fortune Cookie.Also a new live show is announced - Melbourne Podcast Festival August 1st! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.

Jun 22, 2021 • 36:17

Patch #83 - Do You Have A Strategy For Finding A Car Spot?

Patch #83 - Do You Have A Strategy For Finding A Car Spot?

Josh and Christian argue over a dinner order that never came to fruition; what is your strategy for finding a car spot? what is your desert island vegetable? what prompts you to leave an online review? With very special guests, Oh Wow and 'Nearly' Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jun 8, 2021 • 38:06

Patch #82 - Can You Ask A Friend To Put Their Phone On Silent?

Patch #82 - Can You Ask A Friend To Put Their Phone On Silent?

If you buy someone a lottery ticket and they win a prize, are you entitled to the rewards? Can you flip another person's phone over if it's distracting? Can you turn that same phone onto silent mode? Dion tells us the real story behind his Dad's Italian leather jacket swindle. With very special guests, Welcome to the Ad Break, Quiet In The Library and, of course, Really Good.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informati

May 25, 2021 • 28:16

Patch #81 - How Should You React When Someone Uses A Word You Don't Know?

Patch #81 - How Should You React When Someone Uses A Word You Don't Know?

Josh calls out Dion's birthday hypocracy; how do you remember to say happy birthday to somone? What is your reaction to someone who uses a word you don't know? Plus we open the Patchwork Helpline for the very first time and see if we can help a Patchworker cross the line from client to friend with his physiotherapist. With very special guests, Quick Quiz and Really Good.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

May 11, 2021 • 32:32

Patch #80 - Is It OK To Leave A Live Performance Early?

Patch #80 - Is It OK To Leave A Live Performance Early?

Recorded LIVE on April 18, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Is it acceptable to leave a live event early? What should you do if you stop next to someone you know at the traffic lights? What are you responsibilities to others when leaving a room? With very special guests, Oh Wow of the week, Scrolling Through Time, Wheel of Fortune Cookie, DJ Drop from Prince Phillip's Funeral and of course, your Really Goods!Support the show: https://www.patreon.com

Apr 27, 2021 • 49:13

Patch #79 - Do You Need To Stop Talking As A Waiter Places Cutlery At Your Table?

Patch #79 - Do You Need To Stop Talking As A Waiter Places Cutlery At Your Table?

Recorded LIVE on April 11, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. What time does a host need to arrive to their event? Should you pause your conversation when a waiter begins to set your table? What's your favoutie style of chopping? With very special guests, Oh Wow of the week, Forgive Me Father, Patchword of the Day and of course, your Really Goods!Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy

Apr 13, 2021 • 38:14

Patch #78 - When Should You Eat With A Napkin On Your Lap?

Patch #78 - When Should You Eat With A Napkin On Your Lap?

When you should you lay a napkin on your lap? What is the best approach to haggling? What is your favourite type of ice cube? With very specials guests: Welcome to the Ad Break and, of course, Really Good.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mar 30, 2021 • 35:32

Patch #77 - What Are The Unique Circumstances That Warrant Swearing?

Patch #77 - What Are The Unique Circumstances That Warrant Swearing?

When do you need to respond to a group message? Are the circumstances when it is reasonable to swear? What are the worst items of clothing you are willing to wear out of the house? With special guests Wheel of Fortune Cookie, Sound Check (Australian Idol Contestants) and of course Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mar 16, 2021 • 36:27

Patch #76 - What's The Best Way To Clean Up A Broken Glass?

Patch #76 - What's The Best Way To Clean Up A Broken Glass?

Josh explores Christian and Dion's preferred placeholder names; we discuss our preferred strategy for cleaning a broken glass off the floor; Christian laments his walking speed. With special guests, Welcome to the Ad Break, Patchword of the Day and Really Good. We have 2 shows on at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in April. Please search Welcome to Patchwork on the MICF website and buy your tickets now! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee

Mar 2, 2021 • 35:15

Patch #75 - Do You Need To Ask Permission To Open A Car Window?

Patch #75 - Do You Need To Ask Permission To Open A Car Window?

Christian, Dion and Josh play Patchphrase; Dion has a Bone to Pick with Christian's personal use of the Patchwork social media accounts; not knowing when to use moisturiser; borrowing from the local library; when do you open windows? With very special guests Copy Cat (Ghost Motorcycle), Wheel of Fortune Cookie and of course Really Good. We're performing 2 LIVE SHOWS as part of this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival. We'll be at Comedy Republic on April 11 and 18 (both 1p

Feb 9, 2021 • 41:12

Patch #74 - Should You Wear An Apron While Cooking?

Patch #74 - Should You Wear An Apron While Cooking?

Josh invents an interesting workplace neumonic device; is it necessary to wear an apron whilst cooking? Is all kitchen protective-wear absolutely shocking? If someone asks you to pass on a 'hello' to your partner, do you? How do your parents react when you leave their house? With very special guests Just Quickly with Josh, Sound Checks (Australian Prime Ministers) and of course, Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener

Jan 26, 2021 • 25:42

Patch #73 - Do You Have A Favourite Stove-Top Burner?

Patch #73 - Do You Have A Favourite Stove-Top Burner?

If a third person arrives at an event, where should you sit them? Do you have a favourite stove-top burner? Dion takes Josh shopping for shoes. With very special guests Copy Cat, Fork or Spoon and of course Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jan 12, 2021 • 34:46

Patch #72 - Should Dinner Only Be Eaten At The Kitchen Table?

Patch #72 - Should Dinner Only Be Eaten At The Kitchen Table?

Can food be flushed down the toilet? Where do you dispose of mouldy food? Is it possible to 'over-punctuate' your sentences? Does dinner need to be eaten at the kitchen table? With very special guests Oh Wow, Wheel of Fortune Cookies and Really Gouda.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dec 29, 2020 • 31:26

Patch #71 - Can You Takeaway Uneaten Food From A Restaurant?

Patch #71 - Can You Takeaway Uneaten Food From A Restaurant?

Are you a good recycler? Do you request to takeaway your uneaten food from a restaurant? Why do sportspeople avoid looking directly into the camera? Are you comfortable maintaining eye contact with others? With very special guests Nursery Rhymes, Scrolling Through Time and of course your Really Goods.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dec 15, 2020 • 40:28

Patch #70 - How Much Time Should Be Spent Preparing A Snack? (Melbourne Fringe Festival 2020)

Patch #70 - How Much Time Should Be Spent Preparing A Snack? (Melbourne Fringe Festival 2020)

Season 6 begins with a live recorded podcast for the Melbourne Fringe Festival! Are you particular about where things are left around the house? How do you react to cold water? Do you mind being wet? How much time should be spent preparing a snack? Featuring special guests, Wheel Of Fortune Cookie, Hi Team and, of course, Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dec 1, 2020 • 44:23

Season 6 Return & Melbourne Fringe Festival 2020

Season 6 Return & Melbourne Fringe Festival 2020

We’re back from lockdown hiatus with a 90-minute streamed live show for the 2020 Melbourne Fringe Festival. We'll be live streaming on Wednesday 25 November at 8:30pm AEST. Book to reserve your ticket as the stream is only accessible via the Melbourne Fringe Festival website. And Josh is also performing the award-winning GB24: The Improvised Variety News Channel at 7pm AEST every night from November 12 to November 29. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omny

Nov 10, 2020 • 0:00

Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 1) [Patchwork Classic]

Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 1) [Patchwork Classic]

This episode originally aired on 20 September 2017. Christian tells us about his ethnic upbringing (again), we revisit gift-giving, Josh hosts a houseparty, a sketch that didn't make the cut, Monotoly returns, Sah Great and a different take on 'Really Good' and a very special guest. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info

Oct 8, 2020 • 43:08

Patch #34 - How Long Should You Keep A Birthday Card? ft. Andy Lee  [Patchwork Classic]

Patch #34 - How Long Should You Keep A Birthday Card? ft. Andy Lee [Patchwork Classic]

This episode originally aired on 24 October 2018. Featuring Andy Lee from the Hamish & Andy duo, discussing blinking in photos, birthday cards and the Andy-pasto. With very special guests Forgive Me Father, Mr Minute and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: http

Oct 1, 2020 • 40:51

Patch #4 - The Watermelon Diaries [Patchwork Classic]

Patch #4 - The Watermelon Diaries [Patchwork Classic]

This episode originally aired on 16 April 2017. Dion’s messy car, using the bathroom at work, talking to strangers, the holy trinity of Watermelon stories, eating food from stranger’s plates, stealing from supermarkets and dictators. With very special guests Really Good and New School Courtyard. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatch

Sep 24, 2020 • 39:01

Patch #25 - Curry, No Hurry  [Patchwork Classic]

Patch #25 - Curry, No Hurry [Patchwork Classic]

This episode originally aired on 11 April 2018. The Highs and Lows of Josh's Great Social Experiment, Murphy's Buttered Toast, the Future of Cigarette Packaging and Part 1 of another Christian epic, 'Curry, No Hurry.' With very special guests, Really Good, Oh Wow and Trent's Rooibos Challenge.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sep 17, 2020 • 40:33

Patch #69 - What Should A Tea Towel Be Used For?

Patch #69 - What Should A Tea Towel Be Used For?

Josh grows weary of Christian's incorrect use of tea towels. What should you store under your bed? Should you leave the fridge door open or closed when making multiple trips to the kitchen bench? Recounting things your parents forced you to do as kids. With very special guests, Hi Team, Nursery Rhymes, Copy Cat and What's Your Favourite (Type of Flooring)?Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jul 14, 2020 • 56:22

Patch #68 - Is It A Waste To Order Tea From A Cafe?

Patch #68 - Is It A Waste To Order Tea From A Cafe?

Should you sit in the front seat when riding in an uber? When does a stranger stop being a stranger? Should you ever order tea at a cafe? Patch 68 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. With very special guests Oh Wow and Soundcheck (Australian Gameshow Hosts).Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jun 30, 2020 • 33:29

Patch #67 - How Much Should You Tidy Up Before A Guest Arrives?

Patch #67 - How Much Should You Tidy Up Before A Guest Arrives?

Lasagna, plate or bowl? How much should you clean up before a guest arrives? And Dion battles for corporate justice with another Rooibos Challenge. Patch 67 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. With very special guests Copy Cat (clearing your throat) and Hi Team.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jun 16, 2020 • 38:11

Patch #66 - What Do You Consider When Describing Yourself?

Patch #66 - What Do You Consider When Describing Yourself?

Christian is roasted by Josh for his attempts to get 'cosy'; finding an answering to the question, 'tell me a bit about yourself?' and we discuss our chopping skills. Patch 66 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. With very special guests Patchword Of The Day and Soundcheck. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jun 2, 2020 • 30:06

Patch #65 - How Many Lollies Can You Take From A Reception Desk Bowl?

Patch #65 - How Many Lollies Can You Take From A Reception Desk Bowl?

How long can you leave left overs in the fridge? What are the justifications for having a big night? Should you take lollies offered to you at a reception desk? Do you need to ask permission? Patch 65 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. With very special guests Oh Wow and a fun new game, Soundcheck. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

May 19, 2020 • 30:51

Patch #64 - Do Your Socks Need To Match?

Patch #64 - Do Your Socks Need To Match?

Patch 64 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. Josh recounts his unique birthday party experience; how much effort do you put into coordinating your clothes? do you bring your shopping inside in one trip? With very special guests Copy Cat and of course Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

May 5, 2020 • 30:43

YouTube Live Patch: How Should You Handle A Phone Call Drop Out?

YouTube Live Patch: How Should You Handle A Phone Call Drop Out?

Due to the cancellation of the 2020 Melbourne International Comedy Festival and consequentially, our live shows, we decided to record a very special show via YouTube Live on April 26. If you want to WATCH this special Patch, head to our YouTube channel via youtube.com/welcometopatchwork. Who has the responsibility of calling back if a phone call drops out? Do you need to correct a typo in a text message? How many appliances should you plug in to a powerboard? With very special guests, Scrolling

May 3, 2020 • 43:00

Introducing: 'At Home With Patchwork'

Introducing: 'At Home With Patchwork'

Patchwork is evolving with the times! Feeling isolated? Well, every Thursday fortnight 8pm AEST, (starting 30 April), stay 'At Home With Patchwork'. Christian, Dion and Josh will be live streaming each and every Patch on YouTube before the audio is released into your podcast app, the following Wednesday. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Apr 21, 2020 • 3:14

Patch #63 - Should You Shower In The Morning Or At Night?

Patch #63 - Should You Shower In The Morning Or At Night?

Josh takes it upon himself to give himself a nickname; should you shower in the morning or at night; measuring the space inside of a bag; taking the bin out at the end of the week and enjoying a little sip. With very special guests Really Good, Scrolling Through Time, Oh Palau and Problem, No Problem. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcome

Apr 7, 2020 • 38:50

Patch #62 - Should You Put Clothes Back On A Hanger After Trying Them On?

Patch #62 - Should You Put Clothes Back On A Hanger After Trying Them On?

Can you buy a gift for a baby that it can't use immediately? Should you put clothes back on a hanger after trying them on? Should you listen to the music of a gig you're about to go to? With very special guests Really Good, "Hi Team" and "Your Favourite". Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Supp

Mar 24, 2020 • 39:35

Patch #61 - At What Level Should You Refill Someone's Glass Of Water? ft. Tony Martin

Patch #61 - At What Level Should You Refill Someone's Glass Of Water? ft. Tony Martin

Episode 1 of Season 5 features the hilarious Tony Martin. We discuss where it's permissible to park when visiting a friend's home; preparing acceptance speeches for an award and the politics of refilling other people's glasses of water at a restaurant. With the return of Mr Minute, Forgive Me Father and Really Good. You can listen to Tony Martin's Sizzletown through your favourite podcast app. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch

Mar 10, 2020 • 42:26

Patch #60 - Season 4 Retrospective (Part 2)

Patch #60 - Season 4 Retrospective (Part 2)

It's the final Patch of Season 4 and we can't wait to get away from your clingy little ears! Christian confronts Dion about a recent phone call; we dissect if a text message is enough to dismiss the burden of communication; driving in convoys; how should you walk past someone who is seated at an event and another story from Nonno's Vege Patch. With very special guests Oh Wow, Copy Cat and House Music In The House of Commons. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get

Feb 4, 2020 • 48:39

Patch #60 - Season 4 Retrospective (Part 1)

Patch #60 - Season 4 Retrospective (Part 1)

Looking back through the eyes of Season 4, Christian, Dion and Josh discuss sitting at communal tables; having someone comment on your haircut; Johnny from Cardiff; Patchword Of The Day and a Rooibos Challenge. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcome

Jan 21, 2020 • 44:56

Patch #59 - Can You Ask Staff At A Venue To Charge Your Phone? ft. Sammy J

Patch #59 - Can You Ask Staff At A Venue To Charge Your Phone? ft. Sammy J

Our very special guest this episode is the multi-talented Australian comedian and composer, Sammy J. Do venues need to cater for customers who need their phones charged? Do you prefer to read a number or have it read to you? Do you have a distinct strategy for buffets? With Scrolling Through Time, Forgive Me Father and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. V

Jan 7, 2020 • 44:53

Patch #58 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2019

Patch #58 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2019

Christian reflects on his Christmas Party Escape Room; Josh wonders whether a bill should be split evenly in all circumstances; and Dion seeks tree decoration advice. Featuring Ho Ho of the Week, a Christmas Radio Announcement and Timmy Visits Santa 2019. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our socia

Dec 22, 2019 • 36:56

Patch #57 - Should You Offer Your Bed To An Overseas Guest?

Patch #57 - Should You Offer Your Bed To An Overseas Guest?

How much hospitality should you show an overseas guest? Under what circumstances can you ask to stay in someone's house whilst travelling? How many hands should you eat a burger with? Featuring Really Good, Plate or Bowl and Copy Cat. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: h

Dec 10, 2019 • 34:05

Patch #56 - Does A Long Message Require An Equally Long Response?

Patch #56 - Does A Long Message Require An Equally Long Response?

Do you need to be pleasant to friends you've bumped in to if you're in a rush? Do long messages always require proportionately long responses? When do you need to give up your seat on public transport? Featuring Really Good and a very special advert from Solymar Pioneers. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our

Nov 26, 2019 • 32:44

Patch #55 - Is It Better To Leave A Small Tip Or No Tip At All?

Patch #55 - Is It Better To Leave A Small Tip Or No Tip At All?

Should you always close the door when you're in the toilet? Do dinner plans require a time and venue to be officially confirmed? Is it better to leave a small tip or no tip at all? With very special guests Scrolling Through Time and Josh finds The Drop. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

Nov 12, 2019 • 38:28

Patch #54 - Should You Clean Up Whilst Cooking Or After The Meal?

Patch #54 - Should You Clean Up Whilst Cooking Or After The Meal?

Christian, Dion and Josh dream about their dream change room, discussing the dynamics of group conversation, Josh gets in character and finds the drop, Dion adds another chapter to his search for the perfect barber and finally should you clean up while cooking or after the meal? With very special guests Oh Wow and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://link

Oct 15, 2019 • 39:37

Patch #53 - What Do You Owe Someone Who Gives You A Lift?

Patch #53 - What Do You Owe Someone Who Gives You A Lift?

Would you share your lottery winnings? How about if the ticket was bought for you? Can you refuse to lend a book to a friend? Do you owe anything to the person giving you a lift? With very special guests Scrolling Through Time and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show

Oct 1, 2019 • 33:43

Patch #52 - Should You Cut Off Someone Who Is Repeating A Story?

Patch #52 - Should You Cut Off Someone Who Is Repeating A Story?

Dion freezes under the pressure of an overflowing beer; cutting off someone who is repeating a story; Christian picks a fresh story from Nonno's Vege Patch and Dion's European Rooibos Challenge. With special guests Oh Wow and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support

Sep 17, 2019 • 33:37

Patch #51 - Can An Object Save Your Spot In A Line?

Patch #51 - Can An Object Save Your Spot In A Line?

Can you let yourself into someone's house? Can a personal item save your place in a queue? And how long can you leave that item there before you lose your spot? Will you pay for an audio guide at a gallery? With special guests, Plate Or Bowl?, Sneezing Through Time and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more

Sep 3, 2019 • 30:48

Patch #50 - How Many Chips Should You Take From A Packet Offered To You?

Patch #50 - How Many Chips Should You Take From A Packet Offered To You?

Dion reflects on 50 episodes with his favourite barber. How many chips should you take from a packet offered to you? Can you use the milk from a communal kitchen for cereal? With special guests, Scrolling Through Time, Forgive Me Father and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Suppor

Aug 20, 2019 • 36:08

Patch #49 - How Much Hospitality Do You Show A Tradie?

Patch #49 - How Much Hospitality Do You Show A Tradie?

Did you go on theme park rides as a child? How long should you suck on hard candy? How much hospitality do you show a tradesperson? With special guests, Oh Wow and of course, Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee om

Aug 6, 2019 • 33:00

Patch #48 - Where Should You Use A Small Hot Towel?

Patch #48 - Where Should You Use A Small Hot Towel?

Should you share roll on deodorant with someone else? Where should you use a small hot towel? Do you tuck in your sheets? With special guests, Scrolling Through Time and a new friend, Plate or Bowl. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkS

Jul 23, 2019 • 32:13

Patch #47 - Do You Need To Play Host For Your Housemate's Guests?

Patch #47 - Do You Need To Play Host For Your Housemate's Guests?

Performing the perfect scooch manoeuvre; what to do with a wet tram seat and playing host for your housemate's guests. Featuring Oh Wow, Really Good and Tim Allen. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for priv

Jul 9, 2019 • 31:27

Patch #46 - How Much Underwear Should You Pack For A Holiday?

Patch #46 - How Much Underwear Should You Pack For A Holiday?

In the first Patch for Season 4, Christian, Dion and Josh discuss packing for overseas holidays; when you should ask someone how their day's been and the efficacy of wearing a good looking, broken watch. Featuring special guests, Oh Wow of the Week, Scrolling Through Time and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info

Jun 23, 2019 • 35:21

Live Patch #1: Should You Print Out Tickets For Live Events?

Live Patch #1: Should You Print Out Tickets For Live Events?

Recorded live from The Grace Darling Hotel on May 25 2019. For the first time in front of a live audience, Christian, Dion and Josh discuss being photogenic, printing out tickets for live events, washing down food with a drink and their 'pillow situation'. With very special guests, Forgive Me Father and a LIVE AUDIENCE! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linkt

Jun 18, 2019 • 52:15

Season 4 Trailer

Season 4 Trailer

Season 4 returns on Wednesday June 26! If you're craving some new WTP right now, head over to our Patreon for the FULL VIDEO of our first live recording from The Grace Darling Hotel in Melbourne (patreon.com/welcometopatchwork)Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jun 11, 2019 • 2:33

Patch #45 - Season 3 Retrospective (Part 2)

Patch #45 - Season 3 Retrospective (Part 2)

Our final episode for Season 3. Featuring an unfunny friend's hilarious response; Dion suffers the chimes of Christian's cascading alarms and the link between gifts and events. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/list

Apr 30, 2019 • 36:27

Patch #45 - Season 3 Retrospective (Part 1)

Patch #45 - Season 3 Retrospective (Part 1)

Christian, Dion and Josh reflect on the Season 3 that was. Dissecting their poor hygiene, double-dipping and learning to stack the dishwasher. Featuring very special guest, Microbiologist Mark to serve Welcome to Patchwork a Petrie dish full of Season 3 corrections. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social

Apr 16, 2019 • 37:27

Patch #44 - How Many Tissues Do You Pull From The Box? ft. Alex Dyson

Patch #44 - How Many Tissues Do You Pull From The Box? ft. Alex Dyson

With very special guest, Alex Dyson! Featuring Christian's failing green thumb, issues with tissues and hiding your spare keys for guests. Alex has a podcast with Kyran Wheatley called Mirth! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omny

Mar 26, 2019 • 38:11

Patch #43 - Do You Sign The Back Of Your Credit Card?

Patch #43 - Do You Sign The Back Of Your Credit Card?

Christian takes a deep dive into smelling better, decoding washing machines and signing the back of credit cards. Plus Forgive Me Father, Oh Wow and of course, Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener

Mar 12, 2019 • 35:30

Patch #42 - Can You Refuse To Catch Up With A New Friend?

Patch #42 - Can You Refuse To Catch Up With A New Friend?

Christian sweats over his water bottle, refusing to catch up with new friends and Josh wonders how many reminders you need to give people before an event. Plus Quick Quiz, Oh Wow and of course, Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopa

Feb 26, 2019 • 34:52

Patch #41 - Is There A Limit To Partner Sleepovers?

Patch #41 - Is There A Limit To Partner Sleepovers?

Josh takes advantage of the facilities, skipping the queue and the limits to housemate sleepovers. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Feb 12, 2019 • 34:53

Patch #40 - Should You Call Out An Unfunny Friend?

Patch #40 - Should You Call Out An Unfunny Friend?

Josh keeps a text message close to his chest, a cross to the Australian Open broadcast and presenting a funny video to a friend. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jan 29, 2019 • 34:25

Patch #39 - Do You Trust GPS Over Local Road Knowledge?

Patch #39 - Do You Trust GPS Over Local Road Knowledge?

Josh tries to find Dion's hidden bar, trusting GPS directions, the Hubba Hubba Rooibos challenge and Forgive Me Father. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jan 15, 2019 • 33:02

Patch #38 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2018

Patch #38 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2018

A Patchwork Christmas special featuring the return of Timmy and Santa, saying goodbye at gatherings and interacting with children. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dec 18, 2018 • 39:09

Patch #37 - Should You Take The Elevator To The First Floor?

Patch #37 - Should You Take The Elevator To The First Floor?

The final instalment of Mr Minute, elevator chat, Dion's deception and disappointing actions by restaurants. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dec 4, 2018 • 27:53

Patch #36 - Do You Wake Up As Soon As Your Alarm Goes Off?

Patch #36 - Do You Wake Up As Soon As Your Alarm Goes Off?

Signing legal documents for friends, setting alarms in the morning and employee name tags. With special guests Mr. Minute and Wheelie Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nov 20, 2018 • 28:40

Patch #35 - Can Your Partner Also Be Your Best Friend?

Patch #35 - Can Your Partner Also Be Your Best Friend?

Patchword of the Day, the last time you dropped your phone and the concept of food envy. With special guests Mr Minute and Really good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nov 6, 2018 • 31:05

Patch #34 - How Long Should You Keep A Birthday Card? ft. Andy Lee

Patch #34 - How Long Should You Keep A Birthday Card? ft. Andy Lee

Featuring Andy Lee from the Hamish & Andy duo, blinking in photos, birthday cards and the Andy-pasto. With very special guests Forgive Me Father, Mr Minute and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/list

Oct 23, 2018 • 39:27

Patch #33 - Did Your Parents Cut Off Your Crusts?

Patch #33 - Did Your Parents Cut Off Your Crusts?

Featuring Josh eating an apple cutting the crust and answering questions about your holiday. With special guests, Mr. Minute and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Oct 9, 2018 • 29:29

Patch #32 - Should You Store Your Cups Upside Down?

Patch #32 - Should You Store Your Cups Upside Down?

Tales from Tasmania; Dion tries sleeping in a hostel and how to store your cups. With special guests Mr Minute and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sep 25, 2018 • 28:00

Patch #31 - How Many Biscuits Is It OK To Eat In One Sitting?

Patch #31 - How Many Biscuits Is It OK To Eat In One Sitting?

Christian's Apple watch purchase and Josh's biscuit eating habits. With special guests Mr Minute, Do You Remember? and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sep 11, 2018 • 28:07

Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 2)

Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 2)

#MugQuest, Dion's increasing frustration with Google Home, our discussion about the party pop-in pops back in and the Curry, No Hurry Cross-Examination. With very special guests Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welc

Jul 10, 2018 • 35:57

Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 1)

Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 1)

The Patchwork host cheatsheet, we revisit email signatures and what to do with mail that's not yours. With a special retrospective-style take on Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good, plus Josh vs. Google; our final Rooibos Challenge for the Season. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the s

Jun 26, 2018 • 49:31

Patch #29 - Quick Sew Melbourne

Patch #29 - Quick Sew Melbourne

Josh's Bone to Pick with a listener, the Patchwork hosts get dressed up, debating Dion's deliberate misappropriation, getting out of conversations and our thoughts on gyms. With very special guests Oh Wow, Really Good and Baby Boomers Booting Up. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support

Jun 5, 2018 • 35:13

Patch #28 - Detective Sass

Patch #28 - Detective Sass

Christian and Dion's defining tram ride, Pythagoras pulls the short stick; being distracted on tours, taking photos with celebrities, leaving notes for strangers and Josh does some investigating. With very special guest, Oh Wow, Really Good and some Patchwork Nursery Rhymes. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to o

May 22, 2018 • 39:11

Patch #27 - I'd Subscribe To That

Patch #27 - I'd Subscribe To That

Dion's chilling discoveries, Christian leverages a favour and we discuss the best ways to tell someone to shut the f**k up. With very special guests, Oh Wow, Really Good and the final instalment of Curry, No Hurry. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.pat

May 8, 2018 • 42:30

Patch #26 - The Metrics of Cancelling Plans

Patch #26 - The Metrics of Cancelling Plans

The lesser of two carbonated evils, getting trapped by the Offside rule, Patch #24 gets reviewed, the metrics of cancelling plans and Part 2 of Curry No, Hurry. With very special guests, Oh Waleed of the Week and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patr

Apr 24, 2018 • 41:30

Patch #25 - Curry, No Hurry

Patch #25 - Curry, No Hurry

The Highs and Lows of Josh's Great Social Experiment; Murphy's Buttered Toast, the Future of Cigarette Packaging and Part 1 of another Christian epic, 'Curry, No Hurry.' With very special guests, Really Good, Oh Wow and Trent's Rooibos Challenge. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Suppor

Apr 10, 2018 • 38:44

Patch #24 - Everybody Eats My Hummus ft. Andy Matthews

Patch #24 - Everybody Eats My Hummus ft. Andy Matthews

This week and we're joined by comedian, writer, "Two In The Think Tank" podcast host and mug recipient Andy Matthews. Featuring Patchwork catering, a visit from the Thompsons and Andy forgets to turn on Petrol Station mode. With very special guests Oh Wow, Show and Tell and Really Good. Andy's Podcast: 'Two In The Think Tank' http://stupidold.com.au/podcast Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-sc

Mar 27, 2018 • 41:25

Patch #23 - Chrìstians Sans Frontières ft. Laura Dunemann

Patch #23 - Chrìstians Sans Frontières ft. Laura Dunemann

Melbourne based comedian, Laura Dunemann, visits the WTP studios to discuss her very concrete fear of flying, fighting over the front seat and kissing fruit. With very special guests Oh Wow, Show N Tell and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.co

Mar 13, 2018 • 39:17

Patch #22 - A Bin's A Bin's A Bin

Patch #22 - A Bin's A Bin's A Bin

The A to Zincs of living a healthy lifestyle, dealing with cluttered inboxes and Josh, again, proves frugal with his approval. With very special guests Oh Wow, Forgive Me Father and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Feb 27, 2018 • 37:04

Patch #21 - Going Cold Chappie

Patch #21 - Going Cold Chappie

Christian can't let silence sit, Dion can't stop blinking and Josh tells us about his experiences going cold chappie. Featuring specials guests House Swap, Oh Wow and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/l

Feb 13, 2018 • 40:50

Patch #20 - Flapping Soles

Patch #20 - Flapping Soles

Josh’s attitude to takeaway food containers, Dion gets his shoes repaired, Josh and Dion confront their friend Jackson, paying for meals, a new Rooibos Challenge, Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatc

Jan 30, 2018 • 41:27

Patch #19 - "OK, Butler"

Patch #19 - "OK, Butler"

Christian uses Google Home for the first time, we discuss our toilet habits and transitioning to adulthood, Christian wins a competition he never entered, Dion opens the door on an unsuspecting victim. Plus, Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Su

Jan 16, 2018 • 40:10

Patch #18 - Very Meshy Shorts

Patch #18 - Very Meshy Shorts

Christian and his friend bring holy bread to a music festival, meshy shorts, ruggers, and what constitutes underwear, unfriending someone on Facebook, and Christian whimps out. Plus Forgive Me Father, Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https

Jan 2, 2018 • 44:31

Patch #17 - A Very Patchwork Christmas

Patch #17 - A Very Patchwork Christmas

In this special Christmas Patch, Josh gets no love from a girl at Officeworks, we chat about our Christmas experiences, including gift giving and visiting Santa, with special guests Oh Ho of the Week and Really Good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/w

Dec 19, 2017 • 43:40

Patch #16 - Unfit For Human Habitation

Patch #16 - Unfit For Human Habitation

Dion visits Christian's Italian Grandparents house, Josh attempts to get repairs done in his rental house, we discuss if you should wait for your friend to enter their house after dropping them off, as well as if there are too many hellos and goodbyes in the world. Also featuring regulars 'Oh Wow of the Week' and 'Really Good' Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://link

Dec 5, 2017 • 40:22

Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

Dion dirties Christian’s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life’s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omny

Nov 21, 2017 • 39:14

Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 2)

Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 2)

Dion's mum reviews Patchwork, revisiting dirty laundry protocol, childhood bedrooms, becoming a man, revisiting bullying, Oh Wow of the Week, Rooibos Challenge, Christian as an Extra again and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopat

Oct 4, 2017 • 47:16

Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 1)

Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 1)

Christian tells us about his ethnic upbringing (again), we revisit gift-giving, Josh hosts a houseparty, a sketch that didn't make the cut, Monotoly returns, Sah Great and a different take on 'Really Good' and a very special guest. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://ww

Sep 20, 2017 • 41:18

Patch #13 - The Adventures of Car Man and Computer Boy

Patch #13 - The Adventures of Car Man and Computer Boy

What to do when your fly is undone, have food in your teeth or notice clothes tags showing, conventions relating to sneezing and bless you, the Mattress Story, rules for “Established In”, Oh Wow of the Week and Really good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show:

Aug 30, 2017 • 39:22

Patch #12 - A Full Tank Of Rock

Patch #12 - A Full Tank Of Rock

Josh sells stuff on Gumtree, Burgo's Storage Unit, A Casual Quest, Christian's infamous escapade, Mad Lifts, sustainability and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Aug 15, 2017 • 44:13

Patch #11 - No Gifts Means No Gifts

Patch #11 - No Gifts Means No Gifts

High School band practice, Josh mispronouncing Dion's name, Oh Whoaw Of The Week, Tinder and online dating, Magazines, Uber Greets, The Rooibos Challenge, Gift Giving and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Music credit for "Uber Greets" sketch: Allada Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.co

Aug 2, 2017 • 44:09

Patch #10 - How To Pickup A 65 Year-Old CEO

Patch #10 - How To Pickup A 65 Year-Old CEO

Christian’s eventful tram ride, Mad Lifts, Dion tries to pick-up a dad, The Rooibos Challenge, A Casual Quest at the Ski-fields, Gandhi and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy i

Jul 19, 2017 • 35:26

Patch #9 - Lovely Leathery Juice

Patch #9 - Lovely Leathery Juice

The Rooibos Challenge, A Casual Quest, Christian in a cafe, Dion takes an Uber, where we keep our dirty clothes, Josh has 12 pairs of jeans and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy inf

Jul 4, 2017 • 39:33

Patch #8 - Dreaming of Chinese Starfish

Patch #8 - Dreaming of Chinese Starfish

Dream analysis, Monotoly, overseas call centres, complaining to companies, Mad Lifts, stealing lemons and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jun 21, 2017 • 35:48

Patch #7 - In Defence of Gelato Messina

Patch #7 - In Defence of Gelato Messina

Dion finally cleans his car, we visit Gelato Messina, discuss luxury products and premium water, Christian gets star-struck, clothes shopping with Josh’s mum, plus Monotoly and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee

Jun 7, 2017 • 33:41

Patch #6 - The Pinball Wizard

Patch #6 - The Pinball Wizard

Christian’s first experience with online bullying, Mad Lifts, interacting with shop assistants, babies, booster seats and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

May 24, 2017 • 38:06

Patch #5 - Semi Flexitarian

Patch #5 - Semi Flexitarian

A strange goodbye, being unemployed, Christian the Extra, social sports, stealing Josh's hat, boyfriend fashion, food labels, fetishes, the Apex Gang and Dion encounters an annoying voice. With very special guests Really Good and Monotoly (Cinema). Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the

May 10, 2017 • 40:23

Patch #4 - The Watermelon Diaries

Patch #4 - The Watermelon Diaries

Dion’s messy car, using the bathroom at work, talking to strangers, the holy trinity of Watermelon stories, eating food from stranger’s plates, stealing from supermarkets and dictators. With very special guests Really Good and New School Courtyard. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media

Apr 26, 2017 • 36:49

Patch #3 - Beautiful Italian Tomatoes

Patch #3 - Beautiful Italian Tomatoes

Featuring oral hygiene, Christian’s tomatoes, when to eat expired food, buying new clothes and unaccountable professions. With very special guests, Monotoly (Butcher Shop), Really Good and a live Patchwork Travel sketch. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show:

Apr 12, 2017 • 32:11

Patch #2 - Tongue Bucket

Patch #2 - Tongue Bucket

Sneaking things into sports events, global economics, Christian’s unhealthy obsession with candles, buying alcohol as kids, Dion's mannequin hands and Christian's infamous speech impediment. With very special guests Monotoly (Grocery Store), Really Good and a live sketch about adults at children's parties. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometo

Mar 29, 2017 • 41:56

Patch #1 - Long Haired Women

Patch #1 - Long Haired Women

Hairdressers and dentists, bullying, camping, the automation of jobs and Dion the doyen. Christian, Dion and Josh kick-off Season 1. With very special guests Monotoly (Bank) and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee

Mar 4, 2017 • 33:42

Patch #0 - Welcome to "Welcome To Patchwork"

Patch #0 - Welcome to "Welcome To Patchwork"

Welcome! Don't know what episode to listen to first? Start here! Patches are released every second Wednesday. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Feb 28, 2017 • 1:37

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