How To!

How To!

Slate Podcasts

You’ve got questions. Together, we get answers.We all need advice, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to turn. Each week, Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace bring a listener on to the show to solve their toughest problems with the help of world-class experts. It’s free therapy, and you’re invited.

Supercommunicators | 1. How to Talk to Anyone

Supercommunicators | 1. How to Talk to Anyone

Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here…In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life.He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy Len Catron, 10 years after she wrote the viral New York Times article

Feb 22, • 32:22

Introducing Supercommunicators

Introducing Supercommunicators

In a new miniseries inspired by Charles Duhigg’s bestseller, the former host of Slate’s How To! podcast sits down with psychologists, social scientists, and even a Hollywood writer to explore how to ask the right questions, communicate without words, and find meaningful connections in our lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feb 22, • 1:14

How To Outsmart Your Student Loans

How To Outsmart Your Student Loans

At nearly 40, Valerie is itching to pay off her student loans and finally become debt-free. But… how? On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Yanely Espinal, financial educator, author of Mind Your Money, and host of the Marketplace podcast Financially Inclined. Yanely breaks down the best ways to pay off your education debt without putting the rest of your life on hiatus. If you liked this episode check out: How To Make a Big Purchase Without PanickingDo you have a problem that ne

Feb 18, • 51:43

How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life (Encore)

How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life (Encore)

Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she’s lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn’t interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she’s worried it’s hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come as You Are, to coach Meme through how to revamp her sex life. For busy couples, you should actually schedule a time on your calendar to be intimate

Feb 11, • 36:08

How To Rebuild Your Life After a Wildfire

How To Rebuild Your Life After a Wildfire

Jeff and his family lost their home last month in the L.A. wildfires. Since then, he’s been hyperfocused on insurance claims, an epic to-do list, and finding a “temporary” place to live for the next several years. But Jeff hasn’t experienced the emotional punch of the devastation yet. In fact… he just feels numb. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Laurel Braitman, author of What Looks Like Bravery: An Epic Journey Through Loss to Love. In a moving (and sometimes funny

Feb 4, • 59:13

How To Set Limits With an Ex

How To Set Limits With an Ex

Guillermo and his ex-wife divorced nearly a decade ago. They share custody of their son which, Guillermo says, lets her continue meddling in his life. He recently started dating someone and it’s getting serious, but he’s worried that his ex is going to destroy his new relationship. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Bill Eddy, author and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. Bill explains how to set limits and impose consequences in truly difficult situations to preserve

Jan 28, • 48:34

How To Harness Your Citizen Superpowers

How To Harness Your Citizen Superpowers

Connie is feeling compelled to get involved in her local community, but she’s never even attended a PTA meeting. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin enlists Eric Liu of Citizen University to explain how busy parents, introverts, and first-timers like Connie can test the waters of civic engagement in the Trump 2.0 era—without getting sucked under. Eric is the author of You’re More Powerful Than You Think: A Citizen's Guide to Making Change Happen.If you liked this episode, check

Jan 21, • 48:20

How To Switch Careers in Midlife

How To Switch Careers in Midlife

For three decades, Mike has worked in a field with an uncertain future: journalism. He loves the stability of his current job mentoring student reporters, but he can’t stop thinking about starting a new career—in his 50s—in astrophysics, architecture, or law. On this episode of How To!, co-host Courtney Martin enlists career coach and psychologist Dr. Dawn Graham to help Mike think through his midlife career crisis, especially his urge to go back to school. Dawn’s book is Switchers: How

Jan 14, • 44:19

How To Become an Expat

How To Become an Expat

Before the 2024 election, Maureen and Jayna had hoped to attend a historic inauguration for Kamala Harris in Washington, D.C. But when Donald Trump won the presidency, the lesbian couple scrapped their trip—and booked a fact-finding mission to Portugal instead. On this episode of How To!, they talk with co-host Carvell Wallace about their plans to leave the U.S.—and start a new life somewhere they’ll feel safer. And, Jen Barnett of Expatsi offers up advice about Portugal and other LGBTQ

Jan 7, • 46:18

How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 2 - Encore

How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 2 - Encore

Today we’re going to see if one American family can flip the usual, tortured and tedious script for arguing about politics and do something more interesting. Jenn and Todd Brandel sit down with their dad, Bruce, to see if they can come to a better understanding about what has shaped their different political views. Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Di

Dec 31, 2024 • 56:13

How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 1 - Encore

How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 1 - Encore

Jenn and Todd Brandel have a close, loving relationship with their father, Bruce. But one thing makes their blood boil: his political chain emails. The messages are often forwarded commentary written in a provocative tone, and are an unwelcome reminder of just how far apart the family is politically. On this episode of How To!, we’re joined by Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversatio

Dec 24, 2024 • 43:43

Our Favorite Advice of 2024

Our Favorite Advice of 2024

How will you remember 2024? Here at How To! Headquarters, this will be the year when a bunch of very smart and insightful guests taught us how to flirt with confidence, be a mindful drinker, make bank at a yard sale, and cope with forever parenting. On this episode, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin break down their favorite advice of the year and share some heart-warming updates from listeners who joined us on the show.Did we forget to mention your favorite advice of the yea

Dec 17, 2024 • 58:28

How To Exorcise Your Fitness Demons

How To Exorcise Your Fitness Demons

Sandy is a former college athlete who knows how to exercise—at least, she used to. These days, she’s feeling lost without a coach, a workout plan, or much free time. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Danielle Friedman, author of Let’s Get Physical and a contributor to the New York Times Well section. Danielle explains how to embrace movement that you love, make it fit into your life—and actually stick with it. If you liked this episode check out: How To Start Strengt

Dec 10, 2024 • 44:02

How To Plan an Estate (Before It’s Too Late)

How To Plan an Estate (Before It’s Too Late)

André has known for years that they have to execute the estate when their parents pass. They feel wholly unprepared for the task, especially since their parents are reluctant to share any important information. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace brings on M.P. Dunleavey, journalist, author of the Squished Substack, and contributor to Next Avenue where she covers aging, caregiving, and money. M.P. walks André through the important paperwork that needs to be in place and gives th

Dec 3, 2024 • 40:39

How To Throw a Party They’ll Remember (Encore)

How To Throw a Party They’ll Remember (Encore)

‘Tis the season of gathering with friends and family. It’s also a time where some of us yearn for a closer community, like this week’s listener. Morgan is looking for a way to hang out with friends in a consistent, meaningful manner. On this episode of How To!, Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, explains how to transform a lackluster hang-out where people just sit around drinking beer into a party with a purpose where guests want to come back. She tells us how to create an ev

Nov 26, 2024 • 45:54

How To Face the Future (Gen Z Edition)

How To Face the Future (Gen Z Edition)

Ezra is adrift in his early 20s. He craves a life of meaning, community, and love. But he’s struggling to find those things in a world that seems increasingly uncertain and discouraging for young people. On this existential episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings in Andrew McPeak, author, podcast host, and vice president of Growing Leaders. He tackles Ezra’s big questions and explains how Gen Z (and everyone else) can make life more meaningful. If you liked this episode check out: Ho

Nov 19, 2024 • 47:06

How To Man Up About Male Birth Control

How To Man Up About Male Birth Control

Contraception is a huge burden for women and people with uteruses to bear. What would it look like—on a personal, cultural, and medical level—if more men took on that responsibility? Today on How To!, a conversation about gender equity for reproductive care, from changes in sexual education to more accessible vasectomies to the development of new contraception methods. Carvell Wallace welcomes two guests: Dr. Sarah Miller, a board-certified family physician and family planning specialis

Nov 12, 2024 • 45:44

How To Lead Your Local Nonprofit

How To Lead Your Local Nonprofit

Heather recently joined the board of her local library, a beloved institution from her childhood. While continuing to balance her day job, she is excited to be an active and engaged member of this community-led organization. But she’s also grappling with time management and effective communication with her fellow board members. How can she express her ideas and opinions without overstepping boundaries? In this episode of How To!, host Courtney Martin welcomes nonprofit consultant Malini

Nov 5, 2024 • 41:41

How To Face Your Fear of Dying (Encore)

How To Face Your Fear of Dying (Encore)

Katie is terrified of dying. As the youngest in a big family, she can’t stop thinking about the fact that all her loved ones may die before she does. Katie is a comedy writer who knows how to get laughs, but her obsession with death is real, and getting in the way of living. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Rachel Menzies, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Sydney and author of Tales from the Valley of Death, to share what she’s learned about death anxiety. Exposu

Oct 29, 2024 • 34:38

How To Cope With Forever Parenting

How To Cope With Forever Parenting

As the parent of five kids, Sadie is no stranger to feeling overwhelmed. Most of her kids have left the nest, but one adult daughter has severe autism and can’t live or work on her own. Facing the end of school-based support services, Sadie has to figure out what comes next for her daughter—and for herself. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Sarah Wayland, the founder of Guiding Exceptional Parents, to talk about parenting two autistic young adults and how to ask for

Oct 22, 2024 • 44:26

How To Be Less Judgy

How To Be Less Judgy

Erica judges other people by default. Whether they are acquaintances, co-workers, or new arrivals in a club, her first impression is often negative. “I would like to learn how to quash that part of myself,” she says, because those judgments might be ruling out potential friendships. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Dr. Terri Apter, psychologist and author of Passing Judgment: The Power of Praise & Blame in Everyday Life. Terri explains that Erica’s initial react

Oct 15, 2024 • 43:26

How To Stop Killing Your Plants

How To Stop Killing Your Plants

At a new job, Jenna was put in charge of some beautiful plants that are imbued with deep significance to their co-workers. But despite Jenna’s best efforts, the plants aren’t doing so hot. Can the browning leaves, flopping stems, and dry soil be nursed back to health before it’s too late? On this episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Maria Failla, host of the Growing Joy podcast and author of Growing Joy: The Plant Lover’s Guide to Cultivating Happiness (and Plants). Maria addresses Jenna

Oct 8, 2024 • 44:15

How To Care for an Aging Parent

How To Care for an Aging Parent

The How To! hosts love helping listeners find the answers they need. But sometimes a host needs help, too. On this episode, Courtney Martin and her brother, Chris, open up about how their father’s dementia has led them to upend their own lives in order to become his caregivers. To help Courtney and Chris talk through what comes next, Carvell Wallace welcomes Dr. Allison Applebaum, whose book Stand by Me chronicles her own caregiving journey and her work at Memorial Sloan Kettering’s Car

Oct 1, 2024 • 53:44

How To Grow Your Podcast

How To Grow Your Podcast

Ari always dreamed of starting his own podcast. When he started interviewing fellow academics for the Taylor Swift class he’s teaching, Ari suddenly had the perfect opportunity to turn those conversations into something called ¿What Are Taylor Swift Studies Anyways? Now he just needs to find an audience. On this meta episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Lauren Passell, founder of Tink Media and author of Podcast the Newsletter. Lauren shares creative ways to find new listeners

Sep 24, 2024 • 48:12

How To Rethink Screen Time

How To Rethink Screen Time

Ben has two sons in the fourth grade. Like a lot of kids, they love YouTube videos, gaming, movies, and other online entertainment. Before his sons begin using social media, Ben wants to ensure they develop a good relationship with tech—and he’s ready to recruit other families at their school to agree upon some rules of engagement. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings in Richard Culatta, CEO of the International Society for Technology in Education and ASCD. He’s also the a

Sep 17, 2024 • 47:05

How To Survive a Disaster

How To Survive a Disaster

After a tree destroyed Tucker’s roof during a tornado, he felt lucky to be alive—and underprepared for the next disaster his family might face. On this episode, Courtney Martin welcomes back author and former How To! host Amanda Ripley to discuss emergency preparedness and how regular citizens can react smarter during a devastating event. Amanda’s newly updated book is The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why. After listening to this conversation, seek out (and save)

Sep 10, 2024 • 45:24

How To Cook at Home Like Sohla El-Waylly

How To Cook at Home Like Sohla El-Waylly

With takeout prices on the rise, Josh wants to sharpen his home-cooking chops so he can whip up delicious dinners for himself and his wife. But this empty nester doesn’t want to spend all day in the kitchen. On this episode of How To!, co-host Courtney Martin consults award-winning chef, food writer, and New York Times Cooking pro Sohla El-Waylly for advice on meal prep, next-level seasoning, and preparing the best rice and beans. Sohla’s new cookbook is Start Here: Instructions for Bec

Sep 3, 2024 • 46:53

How To Fall Out of Love (Encore)

How To Fall Out of Love (Encore)

Several months ago, Sarah told her best friend John she’s in love with him—but he doesn’t love her back. Now Sarah can’t get John out of her head, especially because they still talk all the time. How can Sarah move on from John? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and the author of Anatomy of Love, to help Sarah train her heart—and her brain—to fall out of love. The first thing Sarah needs to do, Helen says, is cut off contact with John. Eve

Aug 27, 2024 • 36:33

How To Be a Family (and Still Be You)

How To Be a Family (and Still Be You)

Kate’s entire family loves to go on intense, day-long hikes. Kate does not. It’s just one of many differences that makes her feel like a black sheep. But Kate desperately wants to be close to her family—without disregarding her own desires or compromising on parts of her life. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dr. Lucy Blake, author of No Family Is Perfect: A Guide to Embracing the Messy Reality. Lucy helps Kate find her way to a family unity that works for everyone,

Aug 20, 2024 • 44:00

How To Do Housework (and Not Hate It)

How To Do Housework (and Not Hate It)

Cooper feels like they’re constantly falling behind on their to-do list. Life is busy and household chores are the last thing they want to do. Cooper tracks everything in a detailed spreadsheet—but that spreadsheet isn’t going to take care of the dirty dishes in the sink. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dale Aucoin of Clean & Queer, a professional organizing business based in New York City. Dale explains how to prioritize tasks, make chores easier, and find a r

Aug 13, 2024 • 41:03

How To Put a Toxic Job Behind You

How To Put a Toxic Job Behind You

When Elle started a new career as a therapist, she never imagined she would be the one in need of help. After just a few months, her position at a group practice became untenable amid a lack of support from colleagues. Now she’s looking for a new job and wants to avoid a similar scenario. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace introduces Elle to leadership coach Rudhir Krishtel, who helps us rethink our relationships to co-workers—and work itself.How To’s executive producer is Dere

Aug 6, 2024 • 43:19

How To Be Funny (5th Anniversary Edition)

How To Be Funny (5th Anniversary Edition)

How do you learn to tell the perfect joke? In this special edition of How To!, founding host Charles Duhigg joins Courtney and Carvell to mark five years of life-changing advice with a look back at our very first episode. It features a pastor from Oklahoma who wants to spice up his sermons. We introduce him to Gary Gulman, a New York standup comedian who makes jokes about his clinical depression. They workshop the pastor’s new joke about the New Testament, and Gary reveals “what might b

Jul 30, 2024 • 46:55

How To Date With a Disability

How To Date With a Disability

Todd is looking for love, but he’s unsure about disclosing something in dating profiles: his multiple sclerosis. With symptoms that are increasingly visible, Todd feels compelled to be upfront about his disability with potential dates—but he doesn’t know when or how to discuss it. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Jessica Slice and Caroline Cupp, authors of Dateable: Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down While Chronically Ill and Disabled. They give Todd guida

Jul 23, 2024 • 46:24

How To Be a Mindful Grandparent

How To Be a Mindful Grandparent

Shirley Showalter and Marilyn McEntyre know that grandparenting is more than just cookies and Play-Doh. Don’t get us wrong, those things are fun! But the art of contemporary grandparenting requires mindfulness, intentionality, and navigating boundaries. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin talks with Marilyn and Shirley about their book, The Mindful Grandparent, and the wisdom they’ve gained as elders to 12 grandchildren. If you liked this episode check out: How To Face Your Kid’s Future

Jul 16, 2024 • 43:51

How To Take a Sabbatical

How To Take a Sabbatical

Trisha is craving a break from her job, but she doesn’t want to drain her bank account. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin connects Trisha to DJ DiDonna, founder of The Sabbatical Project, who’s on a quest to make extended breaks accessible to all. DJ explains how to plan for a sabbatical that is both meaningful and manageable. If you liked this episode check out: How To Hit “Reset” On Your CareerDo you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a

Jul 9, 2024 • 39:53

How To Survive a Shark Attack (Encore)

How To Survive a Shark Attack (Encore)

David was in the ocean in Hawaii when the unthinkable happened—a shark attacked him and bit off his leg. “I don’t think you’re gonna make it,” a medic told the 25-year-old on the helicopter ride to the hospital. But David did make it, and soon he learned that surviving the shark wasn’t the hardest part—it was what came after. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, psychiatrist and author of The Body Keeps the Score, to help David understand and deal with the la

Jul 2, 2024 • 31:52

How To Make Bank at a Yard Sale

How To Make Bank at a Yard Sale

How To!’s senior editor Joel Meyer recently experienced a yard sale fail and wants to know what went wrong. He spent hours planning and organizing the items on his lawn, but when it was all said and done he barely made enough to cover the cost of lunch. Enter this week’s expert, Ava Seavey, a self-described master of garage-sale-ology and author of Ava’s Guide to Garage Sale Gold. Seavey tells host Courtney Martin some hilarious stories and insider tips for how to cash in on all your ol

Jun 25, 2024 • 38:42

How To Start Strength Training

How To Start Strength Training

Meg once was a terror in the world of roller derby. But these days, her sedentary lifestyle is making everyday physical activities a tad daunting. (We’re looking at you, groceries that need to be carried up four flights of stairs!). She wants to start lifting weights, but she’s unsure where to start—and whether she can avoid the bro-culture of many weight rooms. On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin brings in writer and powerlifter Mikala Jamison, who was in Meg’s shoes not that l

Jun 18, 2024 • 44:00

How To Move Past Your Toxic Ex

How To Move Past Your Toxic Ex

After Lin met Dave, their lives quickly became entangled. Lin joined Dave’s small business, made much-needed improvements, and charmed Dave’s family. The two also began a romantic relationship that lasted years. When it fizzled, Lin continued working at the company—and eventually uncovered Dave’s lies, deceit, and infidelity. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace welcomes Nina Renata Aron, author of Good Morning, Destroyer of Men’s Souls, to share her own experience exiting a toxi

Jun 11, 2024 • 44:59

How To Be Lonely

How To Be Lonely

Paula has a big family, lots of friends, and a girlfriend she adores. For most of her life, however, she has experienced an underlying and unshakeable sense of loneliness. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kristen Radtke, the writer and illustrator behind Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness, to talk with Paula about an emotion that’s hard to talk about—and even harder to confront.If you liked this episode, check out How To Find Your People and How To Surv

Jun 4, 2024 • 42:30

How To Take a Gap Year

How To Take a Gap Year

Leo is a high-achieving high school senior on the cusp of graduation. Growing up in a rigorous school environment he faced endless pressure to follow the expected track of attending an elite university and eventually securing a good job. Yet, Leo feels slightly unfulfilled and is curious what an alternative path might look like. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace is joined by Abby Falik, founder of the The Flight School, and organization dedicate to helping students and parents

May 28, 2024 • 44:28

How To Confront a Vindictive Neighbor with Tig Notaro (Encore)

How To Confront a Vindictive Neighbor with Tig Notaro (Encore)

The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn’t think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it’s all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of How To!, we turn to stand-up comedian Tig Notaro, a cancer survivor and host of the new adv

May 21, 2024 • 33:03

How To Handle Feedback at Work

How To Handle Feedback at Work

Leigh is a stellar employee by all accounts. She deeply cares about the company’s mission. She gets along with her coworkers. She delivers great work. So why does every critique cut deep and leave her questioning her worth? On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin consults the columnist Alison Green, who answers tricky workplace questions at the advice site, Ask a Manager. Alison helps Leigh figure out what to do with criticism, forge better relationships with higher-ups, and even gi

May 14, 2024 • 43:58

How To Flirt With Confidence

How To Flirt With Confidence

When Allen’s gym crush asked him—point blank—if he liked someone, he panicked. Should he tell her? What should he do if she wasn’t actually flirting with him? On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin finds out what happened and brings in Jeff Guenther, therapist and author of the new book Big Dating Energy. (You might know him as TherapyJeff from TikTok, Instagram, or YouTube.) Jeff gives Allen the tools to flirt more authentically, stick to his non-negotiables, and lean into his sel

May 7, 2024 • 40:12

Carvell Wallace on Another Word for Love

Carvell Wallace on Another Word for Love

On this episode of How To!: co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace sit down to talk about his new memoir, Another Word for Love. In the book, Carvell’s examination of his own journey becomes a reflection on how so many of us spend our lives trying to become whole again. He and Courtney discuss his approach to writing and interviewing, what it means to be seen as good (versus actually being good), and why it’s often so hard to forgive yourself.If you liked this episode check out: H

Apr 30, 2024 • 36:20

How To Find Your People After a Mental Health Diagnosis

How To Find Your People After a Mental Health Diagnosis

A few years ago, Leah was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Her condition has posed many serious challenges, including how to start and maintain friendships. She wants to build a rich social life, but her symptoms—and the stigmas surrounding mental health—often get in the way. When Leah does meet a new person, she struggles with how (and when) to talk about her diagnosis and feels intense pressure to be “the perfect friend.” On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace brings on psychotherap

Apr 23, 2024 • 39:59

How To ‘Do the Work’ of Racial Justice

How To ‘Do the Work’ of Racial Justice

“Doing the work” is a phrase often heard when talking about racial justice. We heard it a lot after the death of George Floyd in 2020. And we need to continue talking about it—but there’s an important aspect of “the work” that’s been missing. On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin brings in Garrett Bucks, author of The Right Kind of White and founder of The Barnraisers Project, to help Elizabeth Doerr talk to fellow white parents about the implications of opting out of their kids’

Apr 16, 2024 • 38:55

How To Bring a Big Idea to Life

How To Bring a Big Idea to Life

Mia is a professional violinist. She’s played in symphonies. She’s played in improv groups. She’s played as a form of personal exploration. But now she’s taking on a big, conceptual project that may have nothing to do with music. Instead, she wants to create a piece rooted in connection. The only problem? She doesn’t know what she wants to create. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace brings in storyteller extraordinaire Michaela Leslie-Rule. Michaela talks Mia through the process

Apr 9, 2024 • 43:38

How To Crack Up Your Coworkers (Encore)

How To Crack Up Your Coworkers (Encore)

Last week we learned about using the four different styles of humor to your advantage, and who makes a good target for a joke. But what if you read the room wrong and absolutely bomb? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we resume our conversation with Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Michael Terry, the most hilarious hedge fund guy we’ve ever met. They swap stories about office jokes that fell flat, how to navigate a suddenly tense situation a

Apr 2, 2024 • 33:54

How To Make Humor Your Superpower (Encore)

How To Make Humor Your Superpower (Encore)

Did you know that we, as a society, have fallen off a comedy cliff? No joke. Studies have shown that we largely stop laughing when we enter our mid-twenties, which is a shame because delighting in humor has a ton of health benefits. Plus, being perceived as funny can actually make people think you’re more intelligent, more competent, and even better looking! So on this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we bring on Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Mic

Mar 26, 2024 • 34:58

How To Help a Loved One With Dementia

How To Help a Loved One With Dementia

Forgetfulness. Repetitiveness. Confusion. Dementia is a long, painful road for both the person living with it, caregivers, and their additional loved ones. Mara’s mom just received her diagnosis and Mara is wondering what is next for their family. She turned to our host Courtney Martin for guidance—since Courtney is going through the same thing with her father. On this episode of How To!: Courtney and Mara are joined by Tami Anastasia, author of Essential Strategies for the Dementia Car

Mar 19, 2024 • 43:14

How To Say What You’re Thinking

How To Say What You’re Thinking

Shannon is set to become an ordained minister—but she has always struggled with public speaking. Here’s the thing: She’s fine in front of large gatherings. In smaller gatherings, however, she mentally “freezes up” and rambles until she regains her train of thought. As Shannon prepares to start interacting with a congregation, Courtney Martin sits her down with former How To! host Charles Duhigg, author of Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. Charles gives

Mar 12, 2024 • 37:39

 How To Rethink Retirement

How To Rethink Retirement

When Patti retired a few months ago, everyone told her she would love the freedom and flexibility that came with leaving the workforce. Not so. The transition has left Patti grieving the loss of her routine and sense of purpose—and she’s wondering how to find fulfillment in life’s (gulp!) third act. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin welcomes Brad Stulberg, author of Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing—Including You. Brad helps Patti rethink this massive transfor

Mar 5, 2024 • 37:54

How To Let Go of a Friendship

How To Let Go of a Friendship

Our series about friendship ends with a look at, well, how friendships end.Alice and Grace connected when their kids started dating. They became fast friends whose family lives were intertwined—in a good way. They even joked that they might end up raising grandchildren together. When the kids broke up, Alice and Grace broke apart, too. Now, Alice is wondering whether she should fight for her cherished relationship or just move on. On today’s episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Carissa Po

Feb 27, 2024 • 31:17

How To Evolve a Friendship

How To Evolve a Friendship

In part two of our series on friendship, we’re looking at how to revitalize a relationship that began in a previous phase of life. Michelle and Blair became fast friends in grad school. That bond survived graduation, marriages, and even a cross-country move. They now live just a short drive from one another—but things have never felt so distant. Michelle wants to know how to evolve their friendship to be more compatible with the present day. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin brings on

Feb 20, 2024 • 38:16

How To Find Friends in Unexpected Places

How To Find Friends in Unexpected Places

Love typically reigns in February. But, here at How To!, we are giving friendship its due. For the next three episodes, we’re going to teach you how to find friends in surprising places, how to grow and change in your friendship during life transitions, and even how to recover from a friendship breakup. So today we’re starting with a potential cure for our epidemic of loneliness: intergenerational friendships. Emily is in her early 20s and has been rethinking who she considers to be pot

Feb 13, 2024 • 44:39

How To Be a Mindful Drinker

How To Be a Mindful Drinker

Dry January has come and gone, but the conversation about alcohol—and rethinking our relationship with it—is still very much with us. This week’s listener, Natalie, wants to move past the abundance vs. abstinence debate and talk about a third option: thoughtful moderation. In this episode, Courtney Martin brings on journalist Rosamund Dean, author of Mindful Drinking: How Cutting Down Can Change Your Life and Well, Well, Well, a Substack about living better, for longer. She shares how s

Feb 6, 2024 • 40:38

How To Plan Your Next Adventure

How To Plan Your Next Adventure

Travel can be thrilling, relaxing, even life-changing. But planning for your big trip? Not so much. There are so many unknowns: Where to go? When is the best time? How much do you want to spend? In this special episode of How To!, founding host Charles Duhigg brings in Brady Binstadt, owner and CEO of the adventure travel company Geographic Expeditions. Brady explains how to pick the right destination, when to splurge, and how to make sure everyone will have an amazing time. If you like

Feb 3, 2024 • 34:13

How To Be Free Of Body Shame

How To Be Free Of Body Shame

We’re constantly getting bombarded with messages about our bodies: They’re too big. They’re too small. They’re not muscular enough, not curvy enough, and so on and so on. Rebecca has lived in a bigger body all her life and she wants the messaging to stop. She’s done all the things—followed plus-size influencers, deemphasized weight from her health goals, tried to rewire how she thinks about weight. But it’s just not working. In this episode, Carvell Wallace brings in Ronald Young Jr., host of We

Jan 30, 2024 • 47:46

How To Stop Snoring and Breathe Easier (Encore)

How To Stop Snoring and Breathe Easier (Encore)

Andrew snores so badly that his cats won’t sleep in the same room as him. He’s desperate to sleep better at night, and breathe more easily during the day. On this episode of How To!, we bring on James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, to share the history of why we breathe the way we do. Turns out being a “mouth-breather” is more than just an insult, it’s harmful to our health. James gives Andrew some nasal breathing exercises to improve his snoring, anxiety, and

Jan 23, 2024 • 30:49

How To Make Small Talk Feel Big

How To Make Small Talk Feel Big

Small talk has a bad reputation. It’s boring, shallow, and awkward. Who really wants to talk about the weather, again? But, when done right, it can be a cornerstone of connection. In this episode, Carvell Wallace is joined by Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting. Susan is going to help our listener, Bee, navigate the uncomfortable small talk that she endures everyday at school pickup. Along the way, we’ll learn what questions to have in our back pocket, how to turn

Jan 16, 2024 • 38:30

How To Keep Caring Amid Endless Crises

How To Keep Caring Amid Endless Crises

Sometimes reading our news feeds can feel like getting hit by a semi-truck of devastating information, without really knowing how to respond. We can’t always tune the world out, which means we need to figure out how to be an empathetic person within the chaos. In this episode, Courtney Martin is joined by public theologian and best-selling author, Nadia Bolz-Weber, as well as artist and activist, Jen Bloomer. Together they explore what it means to actually respond to tragedy and injusti

Jan 9, 2024 • 40:04

How To Age Like an Elite Athlete

How To Age Like an Elite Athlete

When he’s not working on How To! or coaching his daughter’s basketball team, our producer Derek John loves to play in pickup games with friends. But a serious on-court injury has kept him on the sidelines for months. Now, as he prepares to return to the sport he loves, Derek is seeking tips on how to prolong his playing days while avoiding another injury. In this episode, author Jeff Bercovici joins Carvell Wallace and Derek to share insights from his book, Play On: The New Science of E

Jan 2, 2024 • 42:09

How To Cook One Perfect Meal (Encore)

How To Cook One Perfect Meal (Encore)

Jonny is a 26 year-old bachelor whose cooking often leads to heartache (and for one ex-girlfriend, a stomach ache). Jonny admits he’s a klutz in the kitchen, so we hooked him up with Sam Sifton, cookbook raconteur and head of the New York Times’s Cooking section. In this episode of How To! we see if we can teach our love-lorn Millennial to cook one perfect meal. Is romantic bliss just a well-browned chicken thigh away? (Recipe included!)Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free

Dec 26, 2023 • 34:06

Our Favorite Advice of 2023

Our Favorite Advice of 2023

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we learned to love our faces, started reading again, aced an interview, dealt with difficult parents, said goodbye to our pets, cooked chaotically, moved to a new country, navigated adult autism, and breathed like Navy SEALs. On this episode, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin are joined by former host Amanda Ripley. They break down their favorite advice of the year and share some surprising upda

Dec 19, 2023 • 38:18

How To Transition From Soldier to Civilian

How To Transition From Soldier to Civilian

Dan enlisted in the Army in 2003 during the early phase of the U.S. wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. He just retired after 20 years of service—and is adjusting to myriad challenges of civilian life while also managing PTSD, ADHD and new sobriety. On this episode of How To!, Bob Beard of Arizona State University’s Center for Science and the Imagination joins us to talk about a new program that’s helping veterans like Dan plan for the distant future using science fiction, conceptual art, and

Dec 12, 2023 • 37:22

How To Face the A.I. Revolution (Encore)

How To Face the A.I. Revolution (Encore)

If you haven’t heard of ChatGPT, chances are you will soon. Maybe you’ve tried casually playing with the artificial intelligent chatbot. Maybe you’ve tried avoiding it. Or maybe ChatGPT is the new host of this podcast and you haven’t realized it yet. Either way, we’re on the precipice of a new, powerful technology. On this episode of How To!, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Amanda Ripley join forces to talk through all things artificial intelligence. They bring on Kevin Roose, tech columni

Dec 9, 2023 • 39:21

How To Carve Out Creative Time

How To Carve Out Creative Time

Allison is on the hunt for her next hobby. One that’s satisfying. One that she can stick with. One that will fit into her family’s very busy schedule. Except…maybe she’s thinking about that last part all wrong. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space. Eve argues that drawing—and defending—boundaries for individual, creative pursuits is necessary for living a fulfilled life. She’ll share how to balance domestic lab

Dec 5, 2023 • 43:18

How To Grieve an Estranged Parent

How To Grieve an Estranged Parent

A parent’s main job is to protect. But what happens when your parent doesn’t protect you? What happens when they not only let bad things happen to you, but they doubt and dismiss you when you ask them for help? Our listener, Haylie, decided to go no-contact with her father after multiple attempts to reconcile their relationship. Now she wants to know how to grieve the death of the relationship. On this episode of How To!, Patrick Teahan, licensed clinical social worker and childhood tra

Nov 28, 2023 • 47:33

How To Talk Politics Without Wrecking Relationships (Encore)

How To Talk Politics Without Wrecking Relationships (Encore)

On a recent phone call Shannon’s mom didn’t mince words: The only way she’d vote for Joe Biden is if Jesus himself comes down and tells her to. Growing up in a conservative household, Shannon understands her parents’ support for Trump. But she no longer sees eye-to-eye with them and every time they talk about politics it turns into a fight. The result is a complete fraying of their relationship. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Bill Doherty, professor of family social science at

Nov 21, 2023 • 34:39

How To Get Through Menopause

How To Get Through Menopause

Hot flashes, fatigue, and vaginal dryness were some of Katie’s first clues that her body was changing. Half the population will experience menopause, yet misinformation still abounds—with doctors ill-prepared to talk to patients about this major life transition. On this episode of How To!, journalist Susan Dominus joins us to share the knowledge she gained from working on her viral magazine piece, “Women Have Been Misled About Menopause.” She explains why women’s pain has been ignored f

Nov 14, 2023 • 48:03

How To Build a Marriage That Lasts

How To Build a Marriage That Lasts

To celebrate their third wedding anniversary, Anjali and Rahul are each selecting a surprise activity to do together. This happy couple loves spontaneity, so they’re concerned about someday growing bored in their relationship. They’re also feeling pressure to mark the traditional milestones of marriage, including having kids. On this episode of How To!, authors Caryl and Jay Casbon join us to share the wisdom they gained from interviewing other married couples for their book Side by Sid

Nov 7, 2023 • 45:24

How To Hit “Reset” on Your Career

How To Hit “Reset” on Your Career

Our listener Abdullah has reached a plateau. A mid-career manager at a large electronics engineering corporation, he feels intellectually unstimulated. Even though Abdullah has a stable job with seniority, he dreams of going back to school and pursuing his true passion: economics. But with a family to support, should Abdullah make a risky leap? On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace is joined by Freakonomics co-author and University of Chicago economist Steven Levitt. Well-kno

Oct 31, 2023 • 39:21

How To Let Go of Kid Clutter

How To Let Go of Kid Clutter

Kids generate so…much…stuff. A lot of it is memorable. Videos of their first words? So cute. Colorful drawings that progressively get better? Masterpieces. Trophies, stuffies, books? All valuable. The problem: There’s no way to keep everything. So how do you figure out what to cherish and what to toss? On this episode of How To!, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin bring in Nonnahs Driskill, professional organizer and founder of Get Organized Already. She has lots of insight in

Oct 24, 2023 • 38:12

How To Build Trust With Co-Workers

How To Build Trust With Co-Workers

The beginning of the school year is a gauntlet for Andrea, who coaches teachers for a living. She needs to get to know the 52 educators she’ll work with in the coming months. All of them are new faces to her. Which means she’s starting from scratch. Time is tight, so Andrea is wondering how to make every interaction count. On this episode of How To!, co-host Courtney Martin brings in Marlon Styles, who has been in Andrea’s shoes. As an educator and motivational speaker, Marlon is a pro

Oct 17, 2023 • 35:53

How To Find Love Where You Least Expect It

How To Find Love Where You Least Expect It

Camila is torn. She wants a partner. Someone who is ambitious. Someone who is financially secure. Someone who checks in with her at the end of the day. But most of her dates have turned out to be duds and she’s starting to think she’ll never find real romance. Should she keep searching for ‘the one,’ or should she focus on being happy on her own? On this episode of How To!, new co-host Courtney Martin brings in Samhita Mukhopadhyay to guide Camila. Samhita is an author and feminist. She was the

Oct 10, 2023 • 40:55

How To Get Out of Debt Faster Than You Think (Encore)

How To Get Out of Debt Faster Than You Think (Encore)

Irina and her husband are more than $100,000 in debt. They’re working to pay it off, but between monthly credit card bills, student loan payments, 401k contributions and spending on their new baby, their money is spread too thin. In this episode of How To!, Charles Duhigg bring on Rachel Cruze, a personal finance expert and author of Know Yourself, Know Your Money, to help Irina create a budget that she can actually follow. It will seem hard at first, Rachel says, but if you cut up your credit c

Oct 3, 2023 • 30:07

How To Say Goodbye to Your Pet

How To Say Goodbye to Your Pet

Like many pet parents, Zak Rosen and his wife lived for years in a state of denial about their beloved dog, Rumi. Then they learned that Rottweilers only tend to live about eight to 12 years, and there was no denying it: Rumi is already in her twilight years. In the not-so-distant future, they’ll have to make some truly tough decisions. On this episode of How To!, Zak seeks out advice about end-of-life pet care from Dr. Ellen LaFramboise, owner of Crossroads Veterinary Hospice, and fell

Sep 26, 2023 • 36:16

How To Follow Your Small Business Dream

How To Follow Your Small Business Dream

Sarah is a part-time pet groomer who dreams of opening up her own business. Having worked long hours for low wages, she can’t help thinking that she could earn more money and control her schedule if she starts her own pet salon. The only problem? Sarah has no idea where to start. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings in Mae Chan to guide Sarah. Mae is a business alignment coach who helps entrepreneurs figure out their dreams and scale their businesses. Her questions for Sar

Sep 19, 2023 • 35:28

How To Learn Any Language Fast

How To Learn Any Language Fast

Niky just isn’t jibing with Spanish. She’s tried courses, podcasts, apps, and even private tutors in order to make a connection with Spanish speakers around Toronto, at her job, and while traveling. But years into her language-learning journey, she’s not even close to being fluent. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace introduces Niky to Luca Lampariello. A speaker of 14 languages, Luca is a teacher and the founder of the Smart Language Learning Academy. He offers up tons of insig

Sep 12, 2023 • 38:52

How To Find Your People

How To Find Your People

Katie was ready to graduate from college when the pandemic interrupted everything. Unceremoniously cut-off from her group of friends, she’s now in a new chapter of her life but struggling more than ever to find her people. Katie’s friendships at work feel surface-level and she’s anxious about opening up too much for fear of rejection. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings in friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson. Don’t worry about finding your next BFF, Jackson says

Sep 5, 2023 • 41:46

How To Navigate Adult Autism

How To Navigate Adult Autism

It’s a family joke that Dave and his 13 year-old son are the same person. So when his son found out he is autistic, Dave realized that he, too, is on the autism spectrum. The label is a comfort—a reassurance that his personality “quirks” have an explanation. But, at the same time, it’s led to all of these questions like should he tell people? What does this change, if anything? And how does he learn to navigate a neurotypical world? On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings in

Aug 29, 2023 • 43:15

How To Fill an Empty Nest (Encore)

How To Fill an Empty Nest (Encore)

Susan never really got over saying goodbye to her eldest daughter, who left for college four years ago. She knew it would be sad, but she didn’t expect to be nauseous. Now her youngest is applying to college, and she’s already dreading drop-off next fall which makes her feel like a "pathetic loser." What can Susan do to prep herself for more heartbreak and a completely empty nest? On this episode of How To!, Amanda Ripley brings on Kelly Corrigan, best-selling author and host of the pod

Aug 22, 2023 • 32:51

How To Live Anywhere in the World

How To Live Anywhere in the World

Have you ever wanted to move to a new country? Picking up and starting over internationally can be rewarding, but also nerve-wracking. Our listener Sara has lived overseas for more than a decade, but she recently moved to Switzerland and is struggling to fit in. On this episode of How To!, founding host Charles Duhigg brings in Dr. Nassim Assefi who, amongst all of her interesting professional accomplishments, is a self-identified “global nomad.” She’s lived in over 10 countries and dra

Aug 15, 2023 • 33:10

How To Cope With Climate Anxiety

How To Cope With Climate Anxiety

As the massive Caldor fire blazed towards South Lake Tahoe in 2021, Joyce knew she had to get out. “The sky was red. It was like hell on earth,” she remembers. Her family got to safety and her house was miraculously spared. But, even now, it can be jarring to remember the fire. Climate-related extreme weather events are on the rise and another disaster is seemingly right around the corner. Especially with freakish flash floods, a scorching heatwave and wildfire smoke blanketing much of

Aug 8, 2023 • 32:19

How To Show Up For a Friend With Cancer

How To Show Up For a Friend With Cancer

When Gwendolyn found out her friend was diagnosed with cancer, she knew she wanted to help. She just didn’t know how. Her friend lives hundreds of miles away. How can she help in a way that’s more meaningful than sending a meal and a few encouraging texts? On this episode of How To!, guest-host Courtney Martin brings on Mia Birdsong, author of the book How We Show Up. Mia went through her own cancer journey and figured out structures of support that not only helped her but made supporti

Aug 1, 2023 • 39:14

How To Deal With a Difficult Parent

How To Deal With a Difficult Parent

Every year J. and her parents fly thousands of miles, meeting in the middle for their family vacation. A vacation that often leads to shouting and tears. J. and her father have a rocky relationship. Little disagreements often lead to her dad yelling and dredging up the past. It would be easy, in theory, to cut off the relationship before it got even more toxic. But J. wants to make it work. The question is, how? On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings on Nibarna Kannatha

Jul 25, 2023 • 43:18

How To Make Aging Easier for Everyone

How To Make Aging Easier for Everyone

Caregivers provide an estimated 600 billion dollars in free labor each year, according to the AARP. This week’s listener, Dani is one such caregiver. She and her partner found themselves navigating the confusing world of Medicare and Medicaid, estate planning, powers of attorney, etc. All in the hope of helping their loved ones stay healthy and comfortable until they need an end-of-life plan. This experience has her worried—who is going to look after her when the time comes? On this episode of H

Jul 18, 2023 • 39:14

How To Hack Any Bureaucracy

How To Hack Any Bureaucracy

When Gwen applied for unemployment during the early days of the pandemic, she never thought she’d still be waiting for her benefits years later. Despite hours on the phone, countless emails and even a court appearance, Gwen is haunted by her inability to get the money she was approved for. On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in Marina Nitze, author of Hack Your Bureaucracy. Not only does Marina help Gwen find shortcuts in her state’s unemployment system, but she has

Jul 11, 2023 • 45:31

How To Stop Finding Your Self-worth Through Your Job (w/ Gloria Chan Packer)

How To Stop Finding Your Self-worth Through Your Job (w/ Gloria Chan Packer)

On this bonus episode from our friends at the How To Be A Better Human podcast: For some of us it’s easy to lose ourselves in our work. But a lack of boundaries between your personal and work life is something mental wellness educator Gloria Chan Packer would warn you twice about. Gloria speaks about the perils of gaining your sense of self-worth from your job, discusses her experience with burnout and stress and shares empowering insights on how to shift our perspectives to create – an

Jul 4, 2023 • 36:48

How To Find Genuine Happiness

How To Find Genuine Happiness

The last few years have been overwhelming for Tracy. Her career was demanding and she experienced multiple deaths in her family. Recently, she changed jobs and is in a better place with her mental health, but something is still missing from her life. She’s just not sure what. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace brings on Samantha Clarke, happiness consultant, speaker, and author of Love it Or Leave It: How To Be Happy At Work. Samantha will help Tracy (and all of us) des

Jun 27, 2023 • 37:42

How To Find the Gems in All Your Junk

How To Find the Gems in All Your Junk

Most people have something they’re holding on to. For Lesley and Alex, that’s some old baseball and basketball cards that are collecting dust in their attic. For Kathy, that’s a house full of antiques. They’ve all been wanting to pare it down. But the big question is: how much is it worth? On this episode of How To! co-host Carvell Wallace is joined by Leila Dunbar, a veteran appraiser and frequent expert on Antiques Roadshow. Leila knows the stories and the value behind all kinds of co

Jun 20, 2023 • 39:02

How To Quit Your Calling

How To Quit Your Calling

Amy and Sarah are high school English teachers who both want to quit the classroom, but for very different reasons. Amy has over 200 students, and tensions between teachers and parents are on the rise so she’s “beyond burned out.” Whereas Sarah has been teaching for over a decade and is itching for a change. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, co-host Amanda Ripley is joined by Daphne Gomez, a former teacher who’s now CEO of Teacher Career Coach. (She also hosts

Jun 13, 2023 • 39:52

How To Help Teachers Thrive

How To Help Teachers Thrive

Today there are about four million teachers in America, and nearly a third of them are thinking about leaving their jobs. It has become harder to be a teacher in the U.S. due to a lack of resources, political meddling, and teacher shortages, to name a few reasons. On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, co-host Amanda Ripley talks with two teachers, Sarah and Amy, and Daphne Gomez, a former teacher and now the founder and CEO of Teacher Career Coach. They discuss cha

Jun 6, 2023 • 34:00

How To Sleep Apart to Save Your Relationship

How To Sleep Apart to Save Your Relationship

Sleep is objectively worse when splitting a bed. Yet that’s the default for most couples. But that doesn’t mean sharing the covers is easy. Especially when one person is having trouble falling or staying asleep. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, co-host Carvell Wallace continues the conversation with Dr. Wendy Troxel, author of Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep. Dr. Troxel explains how couples can experiment with sleeping arrangements in

May 30, 2023 • 32:49

How To Sleep Like a Champ

How To Sleep Like a Champ

Vanessa isn’t a night owl. Yet, often, you can find her lying awake desperately trying to turn off her brain. When her partner stays over she often resorts to the couch just to get some rest. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace brings in Dr. Wendy Troxel. She is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sleep medicine and the author of the book, Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep. On part one of a two part series—Dr. Troxel explains how insom

May 23, 2023 • 35:13

How To Deliver Bad News Better

How To Deliver Bad News Better

‘I’ve got bad news’ is a sentence no one wants to hear. But at some point, all of us will either have to deliver bad news or will be on the receiving end. So what can make these gut-wrenching conversations go less horribly? On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in Dr. Robert Arnold, co-founder of Vital Talk, and Maura, a social worker at a level one trauma center to talk about how to better communicate serious news. Because just about all of us can get a lot better at

May 16, 2023 • 36:06

Sponsored Content: Secret Sauce for Business Owners

Sponsored Content: Secret Sauce for Business Owners

It’s not easy to start a business. It’s even harder to build a successful one. Luckily, we can ask experts, entrepreneurs, and business leaders for advice.In this special Slate episode, brought to you by Bank of America, we’ve gathered the best business advice from our hit shows How To! and Working. You’ll hear helpful tips and inspiring stories from business experts like Guy Raz, The Knot co-founder Carly Roney, Everything Everywhere All at Once fight choreographer Daniel Mah, and othe

May 12, 2023 • 16:10

Dear Prudie: My Husband Wants Our 9-Year-Old Son to Play Tackle Football. Help!

Dear Prudie: My Husband Wants Our 9-Year-Old Son to Play Tackle Football. Help!

On this bonus episode from our friends at Slate's Dear Prudence podcast—Bomani Jones (host of HBO’s Game Theory With Bomani Jones and The Right Time With Bomani Jones) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer questions from letter writers about workplace socializing, friends who are no longer likable people, and youth football.Podcast production by Se’era Spragley Ricks and Daisy Rosario, with help from Brandon Nix. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

May 9, 2023 • 39:49

How To Raise Kids in a Nation Full of Guns

How To Raise Kids in a Nation Full of Guns

Guns are now the leading cause of death for children in America. Each tragedy can be visceral, whether it’s in your community or across the country. And it’s especially heartbreaking when your kid voices that fear directly, as our listener Allison recently experienced. On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in Melinda Wenner Moyer. Melinda is an author and science journalist with years covering gun violence and parenting issues. She’s also the author of the substack, I

May 2, 2023 • 37:20

How To Face the A.I. Revolution

How To Face the A.I. Revolution

If you haven’t heard of ChatGPT, chances are you will soon. Maybe you’ve tried casually playing with the artificial intelligent chatbot. Maybe you’ve tried avoiding it. Or maybe ChatGPT is the new host of this podcast and you haven’t realized it yet. Either way, we’re on the precipice of a new, powerful technology. On this episode of How To!, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Amanda Ripley join forces to talk through all things artificial intelligence. They bring on Kevin Roose, tech columni

Apr 25, 2023 • 40:48

How To Start Reading Books Again

How To Start Reading Books Again

Kate stopped reading in 2016. Since then, she’s tried to find her way back to it but something’s not clicking, and it’s left a book-shaped hole in her heart. Reading used to be something she really enjoyed, took pride in, and loved connecting with people over. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace brings in Maryanne Wolf, director of UCLA’s Center For Dyslexia, Diverse Learners, and Social Justice and author of the book, Reader, Come Home. Maryanne explains the science beh

Apr 18, 2023 • 37:37

How To Breathe Like a Navy SEAL

How To Breathe Like a Navy SEAL

John has spent years training to become a Pararescueman, a member of Air Force Special Warfare tasked with recovering downed military personnel around the globe. He has pushed himself past countless obstacles and trials, except one — holding his breath in the pool. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace is joined by free diving expert and founder of the Performance Free Dive Academy Kirk Krack. Kirk has spent decades mastering the art of lowering his heart rate and increasi

Apr 11, 2023 • 39:23

How To Succeed at Social Media

How To Succeed at Social Media

Emily is a successful career and executive coach in Ohio, who has done well finding clients through word-of-mouth. But in order to expand her business she knows she has to up her online marketing game. The only catch? She is terrified of social media. On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in Suzy Wagner, president of Brand & Buzz. Suzy has some surprising advice for creating a social media strategy that cuts through the noise while being realistic and authentic to

Apr 4, 2023 • 41:40

How To Bounce Back From a Layoff

How To Bounce Back From a Layoff

On a recent workday, Pauline woke up and logged into her computer from home … only to find an email saying she was being laid off — effective immediately. She and her entire team, many of them working remotely, instantly lost access to all of their company accounts. Pauline was shell-shocked, hurt, and wondering what to do next. In the wake of massive tech layoffs, it’s a story that’s now all-too familiar. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings in Susan Peppercorn, a ca

Mar 28, 2023 • 40:12

The Upside of Stress: A Slight Change of Plans with Dr. Maya Shankar

The Upside of Stress: A Slight Change of Plans with Dr. Maya Shankar

This week we present a special episode from A Slight Change of Plans hosted by Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist who studies human behavior and was our featured expert on How To Stick To Your New Year's Resolutions. Maya's podcast examines who we are and who we become in the face of a big change.In this episode, Maya looks at a feeling most of us are familiar with: stress. We’re all familiar with the ways stress can make us feel bad, but can we use it as a helpful resource? Maya’s

Mar 21, 2023 • 39:35

How To Make Imposter Syndrome Your Superpower

How To Make Imposter Syndrome Your Superpower

When Leslie landed her dream engineering job right out of college, she was elated but also worried she was a tad unqualified—even though she has the skills and expertise. Since then imposter syndrome has reared its ugly head on a regular basis. Besides being the youngest in her department, she’s one of the only women and the only person of color, which has made things even more isolating. On this episode of How To!, host Amanda Ripley brings on Dr. Jessica Esquivel, physicist, advocate

Mar 14, 2023 • 42:49

How To Make Imposter Syndrome Your Superpower

How To Make Imposter Syndrome Your Superpower

When Leslie landed her dream engineering job right out of college, she was elated but also worried she was a tad unqualified—even though she has the skills and expertise. Since then imposter syndrome has reared its ugly head on a regular basis. Besides being the youngest in her department, she’s one of the only women and the only person of color, which has made things even more isolating. On this episode of How To!, host Amanda Ripley brings on Dr. Jessica Esquivel, physicist, advocate for margi

Mar 14, 2023 • 42:49

How To ‘Chaos Cook’ With Samin Nosrat

How To ‘Chaos Cook’ With Samin Nosrat

Cooking is one of the most basic human activities. We’ve probably been doing it since the discovery of fire and, yet, it’s more than just fuel. It’s culture. It’s comfort. It’s increasingly content. The problem is when we have such high expectations for something so simple and vital, we can find ourselves, well…paralyzed with doubt. Not to mention hungry. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings on Samin Nosrat, author of Salt Fat Acid Heat, who talks with food writer, Ra

Mar 7, 2023 • 44:25

How To Style Your Home Like a Pro

How To Style Your Home Like a Pro

This summer, Hillary and her fiancé will be moving into their first home together. It’s an upgrade from their apartment, and they get to design it from scratch. Hillary is really looking forward to entertaining friends and even growing their family in the space. She wants to design the interior of the house so it feels like a home, but she has no idea where to start, style-wise. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace brings on award-winning interior designer Corey Damen Jenkins. Corey

Feb 28, 2023 • 37:26

How To Manage Your Precious Time

How To Manage Your Precious Time

Joey is a young creative living in Australia who can’t decide which hat to wear. Should it be songwriting, skateboarding, acting, or should he focus more on his day job as a retail clerk? Fitting everything in during the week seems impossible and he feels guilty when he can’t cross everything off his checklist. On this episode of How To!, co-host Amanda Ripley brings in journalist Oliver Burkeman, the author of 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. He explains how he too once wanted

Feb 21, 2023 • 43:02

Encore: How To Find Your First Kiss at 38

Encore: How To Find Your First Kiss at 38

Sharon is 38 and never been kissed. This, as she acknowledges, is “a bit weird.” As a nurse who loves ballroom dancing, Sharon is smart, funny, and attractive. At the same time, she’s deeply religious and has been waiting so long for the perfect man she worries that she’ll never find “The One.” In this classic How To! episode, founding host Charles Duhigg brings in one of New York City’s finest matchmakers, Lisa Clampitt, for some tough love. Lisa believes Sharon has a lot going for her

Feb 14, 2023 • 36:35

How To Face Your Kid’s Future

How To Face Your Kid’s Future

Keith prides himself on being a good dad to his three sons. But in a post-pandemic world with looming student debt and uncertain opportunities, the future can be really scary. He’s especially worried about his middle son Ben, an introvert who doesn't know what to do after he graduates high school this year. On this episode of How To! host Carvell Wallace brings on Rebecca Lavoie. She’s a versatile podcaster and former co-host on Slate’s parenting show Mom and Dad are Fighting. She’s als

Feb 7, 2023 • 40:18

How To Command a Room

How To Command a Room

Yuzuha has been interviewing people for six years. She’s a journalist based in Japan who writes about business and technology but has dreamed of working in broadcast, interviewing people for an audience. Her first challenge is coming sooner than she expected. Yuzuha was asked to moderate a panel at a big conference in Tokyo. She wants to know how to speak with confidence, capture an audience, and ensure her questions get answered without putting on a fake persona. On this episode of How

Jan 31, 2023 • 40:31

How To Love Your Face

How To Love Your Face

Earlier this year, our listener, Rell, nearly failed a promotion. Not because she was unprepared or unqualified, but because she didn’t maintain enough eye contact with the interviewers. Rell’s eye hasn’t been fully receiving information since she was born, a condition that’s outwardly visible and known colloquially as a “lazy eye.” It’s beginning to affect her self-confidence and is this “ugly thing [she] can’t let go of.” On this episode of How To!, new co-host Carvell Wallace brings

Jan 24, 2023 • 42:38

How To Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

How To Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

January is barely two weeks old and already some of our ambitious New Year’s resolutions may be starting to fade. No shame! Approximately 90% of resolution makers don’t reach their goal. Which means there’s gotta be a better way. Our listener this week, Emily, is discouraged about her unhealthy eating and lack of exercise and wants to form better habits that last long after the new year. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Maya Shankar. Maya is a cognitive scientist and host of the

Jan 17, 2023 • 39:14

How To End Political Violence (From an Ex-Gang Leader)

How To End Political Violence (From an Ex-Gang Leader)

In the wake of the anniversary of the January 6th insurrection, and now similar riots in Brazil’s capital, we’re picking up our conversation about how to reduce political violence. In the first episode of our two-part series, we heard from Dr. Rachel Kleinfeld, senior fellow at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. This week, we’re talking with Curtis Toler, director of outreach at Chicago CRED. After joining his first street organization at the age of 9, Curtis went from a ga

Jan 10, 2023 • 40:34

How To Prevent Another Jan. 6

How To Prevent Another Jan. 6

It’s been two years since the January 6th riot at the US Capitol in Washington DC. Over 900 people have been criminally charged, but political violence continues to be a threat. Well, here at How To!, we are not content to just marinate in fear and blame so we’re dedicating two episodes to see how we can prevent more tragedies like January 6. In our first episode, we bring on Dr. Rachel Kleinfeld, senior fellow at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace where she focuses on the i

Jan 3, 2023 • 38:56

Our Favorite Advice of 2022

Our Favorite Advice of 2022

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we saved the planet, unbroke the news, discovered our style, sat in silence, found pleasure, put a small town on the map, learned to laugh, ran for office (without being an a**hole), and talked politics with our parents. On this episode of How To!, the team gathers ‘round the mic to round up our favorite advice of the year. We talk about how we applied that advice to our own lives, share some surprising updates fro

Dec 27, 2022 • 39:59

Our Favorite Advice of 2022

Our Favorite Advice of 2022

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we saved the planet, unbroke the news, discovered our style, sat in silence, found pleasure, put a small town on the map, learned to laugh, ran for office (without being an a**hole), and talked politics with our parents. On this episode of How To!, the team gathers ‘round the mic to round up our favorite advice of the year. We talk about how we applied that advice to our own lives, share some surprising up

Dec 27, 2022 • 39:59

How To Forgive Someone Who Isn't Sorry

How To Forgive Someone Who Isn't Sorry

TJ has spent years trying to heal herself and put her childhood behind her. Both of her parents struggled with addiction, which made for a very complicated, unstable upbringing. After sacrificing her own childhood to raise her siblings—TJ feels deeply wounded by her mother in particular. She really wants to let it go. The only question is how. On this episode of How To!, we bring on journalist Marina Cantacuzino. Marina is the founder of The Forgiveness Project, a charity that shares st

Dec 20, 2022 • 39:16

How To House Everyone in Your City

How To House Everyone in Your City

This week, Los Angeles’ newly elected mayor Karen Bass declared a state of emergency to help address the city’s homelessness crisis. It’s an overwhelming issue that has left a lot of Angelenos wondering how they can help, including this week’s listener Alex. On this episode, host Amanda Ripley brings on two people who have experience fighting housing insecurity. Theo Henderson is an activist and host of the podcast, We the Unhoused, which sheds light on the struggles faced by the unhous

Dec 13, 2022 • 42:51

How To Throw a Party They’ll Remember

How To Throw a Party They’ll Remember

‘Tis the season of gathering with friends and family. It’s also a time where some of us yearn for a closer community, like this week’s listener. Morgan is looking for a way to hang out with friends in a consistent, meaningful manner. On this episode of How To!, Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, explains how to transform a lackluster hang-out where people just sit around drinking beer into a party with a purpose where guests want to come back. She tells us how to create an ev

Dec 6, 2022 • 44:05

How To Know When to Quit Your Job

How To Know When to Quit Your Job

Victor’s job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he’s plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke, author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away, helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive biases that prevent us from quitting and reveals why most of us quit things far too late. If y

Nov 29, 2022 • 40:05

Atlas Obscura: Louie Mattar’s Fabulous Car

Atlas Obscura: Louie Mattar’s Fabulous Car

In this episode from our friends at The Atlas Obscura Podcast, you'll visit the San Diego Automotive Museum in California to hear about one man’s dream of creating the ultimate road trip car.Their podcast is an audio guide to the world’s wondrous, awe-inspiring, strange places. In under 15 minutes, they'll take you to an incredible site, and along the way you’ll meet some fascinating people and hear their stories. Join them daily, Monday through Thursday, to explore a new wonder with co

Nov 25, 2022 • 11:56

Encore: How To Write a Bestseller

Encore: How To Write a Bestseller

Lauren already knows the plot of her bestselling novel—the problem is she hasn’t written a word. Paralyzed by self-criticism and an earlier rejection, this former English major has spent years journaling instead of attempting the scary, difficult work of creative writing. On this episode of How To!, we turn to writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner, whose debut novel Fleishman Is in Trouble, was one of the hottest books of the year. Can she help Lauren finally put pen to paper? The first thing La

Nov 22, 2022 • 35:36

How To Make a Huge Decision In 60 Minutes... Or Less

How To Make a Huge Decision In 60 Minutes... Or Less

To move or not to move? That is the question for Tiffani. She is desperate to get out of her hometown in rural Oregon and find a place with affordable housing, better dating prospects, and a ballroom dance studio nearby… or at least a P.F. Chang’s closer than a four hour drive away. The problem? Her preferred destination would mean moving clear across the country. On this episode of How To!, decision coach Nell McShane Wulfhart sits down with Tiffani and helps her make this life-changin

Nov 15, 2022 • 38:34

Sponsored: How Can We Use Our Success to Empower Our Communities?

Sponsored: How Can We Use Our Success to Empower Our Communities?

Season 3 of The Relentless is all about moving fearlessly. We’re kicking things off with two guests who not only embody that mindset, they’re growing businesses in ways that also empower their communities.First, we talk to Kathryn Finney, a venture capitalist, author, entrepreneur, and one of the first Black women to have a successful seven-figure startup exit. Finney shares insights she gained on her journey from epidemiologist to an influential woman in tech, and discusses her commitm

Nov 11, 2022 • 33:39

How To Parent Your Depressed Teen

How To Parent Your Depressed Teen

As Kate’s teenage son, Sam, approached college she noticed him withdrawing. He wasn’t excited about his future and started to show symptoms of major depression. It came to a crisis point one summer night before Sam was set to leave for school. In the weeks and months that followed, Sam struggled to navigate the mental health system in search of care. And Kate? Kate was left wondering how she could help her son without being overbearing. On this episode of How To!, guest host Carvell Wal

Nov 8, 2022 • 43:23

How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 2

How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 2

Today we’re going to see if one American family can flip the usual, tortured and tedious script for arguing about politics and do something more interesting. Jenn and Todd Brandel sit down with their dad, Bruce, to see if they can come to a better understanding about what has shaped their different political views. Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Di

Nov 1, 2022 • 55:42

How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 1

How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 1

Jenn and Todd Brandel have a close, loving relationship with their father, Bruce. But one thing makes their blood boil: his political chain emails. The messages are often forwarded commentary written in a provocative tone, and are an unwelcome reminder of just how far apart the family is politically. On this episode of How To!, we’re joined by Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Co

Oct 25, 2022 • 42:40

Encore: How To Not Be Scared

Encore: How To Not Be Scared

Becca is 6-feet tall, bold and strong-willed. She’s also easily startled and paralyzed by fear — even a children’s haunted house can reduce her to tears. In this episode of How To!, we bring in sociologist Margee Kerr, author of Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear, to give us the lowdown on surviving scary situations. Can making fear more fun help Becca overcome her startle reflex in time for Halloween? Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on our pod

Oct 18, 2022 • 34:01

How To Put Your Town on the Map

How To Put Your Town on the Map

If you’ve ever vacationed on the beaches of Delaware, chances are you drove right by Smyrna. It’s a small but charming town that’s been bypassed by the main highways. Which is why Mike, a small business owner on the town council, wants to create a spectacular, engaging roadside attraction to tempt tourists into town. The only snag? He doesn’t know what to actually build.On this episode of How To!, we bring on roadside attraction aficionado Erika Nelson. She’s the creator of The World’s

Oct 11, 2022 • 36:59

How To Do Divorce Right

How To Do Divorce Right

After three decades of marriage, Bernadette wasn’t exactly blindsided when Rodney asked for a divorce. Things had been rocky for awhile, but she always assumed they’d live the rest of their lives “unhappily ever after.” Now Bernadette is facing an uncertain future, wondering how she’s going to navigate her new life socially, emotionally, and financially. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, author of Light on the Other Side Of Divorce: Discovering the New You, an

Oct 4, 2022 • 39:39

How To Be Yourself in an Interracial Relationship

How To Be Yourself in an Interracial Relationship

When Dana and Luke first started dating at the office they kept their relationship a secret. Most of their colleagues didn’t know they were a couple until they got engaged. They didn’t want any undue pressure or outside judgment. That’s because Dana is a proud Black, Ghanaian woman from central Florida and Luke is a white man from Kansas. Dana’s wondering how she can preserve her identity while they absorb each others’ family traditions. On this episode of How To!, guest host Hélène Bia

Sep 27, 2022 • 37:25

How To Pick a College (And Actually Afford It)

How To Pick a College (And Actually Afford It)

College application season is approaching fast—too fast—for 16-yr old Maya and her mother, Melissa. The problem? Maya has no idea where to go or what to study. It doesn’t help that there are thousands of schools to choose from, and little transparency about their true cost. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ron Lieber, New York Times money columnist and author of The Price You Pay for College. He shows Maya how to narrow down the list of potential colleges by asking insightful que

Sep 20, 2022 • 38:29

How To Make the Leap to Your Dream Job

How To Make the Leap to Your Dream Job

When Trish first started working in corporate recruiting, she had wonderful co-workers, a supportive manager, opportunities for growth—it was “bliss.” But the bliss evaporated in 2020 when she got laid off during the pandemic. She’s since found a different job in the same field, but also decided to try her hand at teaching pilates part-time. Now, after burning the candle at both ends, Trish is burned out and unsure of the best path forward. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Nathan

Sep 13, 2022 • 39:02

How To Have a Healthier News Diet

How To Have a Healthier News Diet

In the second of a two-part episode on reimagining the news we continue our conversation with Nicole Lewis, Senior Editor of Jurisprudence at Slate, and a longtime reporter on the criminal justice beat; and David Bornstein, co-founder/CEO of the Solutions Journalism Network, and former contributor to the New York Times’ Fixes column. The discussion picks up where we left off on how journalists can regain the trust of their audience, and how news consumers can find stories that inspire h

Sep 6, 2022 • 37:13

How To Unbreak the News

How To Unbreak the News

About five or six years ago, host Amanda Ripley started noticing that her normal news diet left her feeling depleted and depressed. She tried mixing up her news habits, even avoiding it for awhile, but nothing helped. It felt like a shameful secret. Shouldn’t journalists love consuming the news? She began to wonder, is it me....or is it the news itself? On this episode of How To!, the first of two parts, we’ll hear from several of our listeners who feel the same way. We’ll also talk wit

Aug 30, 2022 • 38:58

How To Survive a Silent Retreat

How To Survive a Silent Retreat

When Clare decided on a resolution for the year, she was looking for a new challenge. Instead of running a marathon like her partner, Clare—who “talks for a living”—decided to go completely silent. She signed up for a silent retreat. But as it approached, she wondered how she could possibly go an entire week without speaking. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Daniel Thorson of the Monastic Academy in Vermont and host of the podcast, Emerge. Daniel has spent over a year of his life

Aug 23, 2022 • 43:40

How To Restore Nature in the Heart of a City

How To Restore Nature in the Heart of a City

When Swiss Ambassador Jacques Pitteloud moved to Washington DC, his residence was perfect. Too perfect. The Swiss ambassador’s residence sits on six acres on a hill with an awesome view of the Washington Monument. “I was amazed by the beauty of the whole setting…It looked like a golf course and I don't like golf courses… they are ecological disasters,” Ambassador Pitteloud reflected. Together with his gardening team, the Ambassador has transformed the residence into a native oasis. On this episo

Aug 16, 2022 • 36:45

How To Save the Planet, Starting With Your Yard

How To Save the Planet, Starting With Your Yard

In the last 24 years, Judy has moved approximately 16 times for her husband’s military career. But her family has finally settled down in a lovely house with a yard near Annapolis, Maryland. Now Judy is hoping to transform her outdoor space into something that’s beautiful and environmentally friendly. On this episode of How To!, Doug Tallamy explains why, now more than ever, we need people like Judy to plant native species in order to revive our ecosystem. He has some surprisingly easy

Aug 9, 2022 • 36:25

How To Be an Artist and Not Starve

How To Be an Artist and Not Starve

Elaine picked up watercolor painting during her two year, cross country RV adventure with her family. She quickly fell in love with gorgeous nature scenes and found the creative process meditative and healing. But now she’s wondering if her art could be something more. On this episode of How To!, multitalented artist Aaron Dworkin has tips for Elaine and other aspiring artists on how to live a ‘portfolio life’ by finding your signature style, following your passions and ultimately getti

Aug 2, 2022 • 39:34

How To Stop Being an Emotional ATM

How To Stop Being an Emotional ATM

Last week, our expert Arthur Brooks gave us some surefire advice for resetting the parent-child relationship so your kids don’t treat you like an emotional ATM. On this episode of How To!, he’s going to teach our listener, Karen, how to balance the books, so to speak, by taking some withdrawals of her own. He has some surprising tips for how to restrain yourself from swooping in to save the day when it would be better to let them figure it out. Starting with a hilarious story of the tim

Jul 26, 2022 • 32:30

How To Parent Less

How To Parent Less

Every time Karen gets a phone call from her adult children her heart sinks. Even at age 23 and 21, they’re usually calling with a problem. She’s received calls for everything from flat tires to mental health emergencies. While she loves her kids and wants to always be a safe place for them to land, she really wants them to gain more independence. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Arthur Brooks, a Harvard University professor who studies the science of happiness and writes a column

Jul 19, 2022 • 35:11

How To Become a Parent Overnight

How To Become a Parent Overnight

For a lot of would-be parents, adoption isn’t the first path that comes to mind. But that’s how Victoria, a PhD student, is leaning right now. Even though she’s not planning to have a family for a few more years, it’s never too early to start preparing for what can be a long, arduous process. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Marcia Chatelain, Pulitzer Prize winning author, professor of history and African-American studies at Georgetown, and former co-host of The Waves. Marcia spe

Jul 12, 2022 • 34:44

How To Orgasm

How To Orgasm

In 2019, Brenda took a year off from their PhD program to try to feel pleasure again…with anything. Brenda has come a long way since then but there’s one thing that’s still elusive—they’ve never experienced an orgasm. Whenever they try, anxiety kicks in and they’re left feeling frustrated and, in their words “broken.” On this episode of How To!, we bring in Ev’Yan Whitney, sex educator, author, and host of the podcast Sensual Self. Ev’Yan has some wonderful wisdom for learning about you

Jul 5, 2022 • 40:37

Encore: How To Get Your Dog to Stop Eating Your Daughters’ Underwear With Jenny Slate

Encore: How To Get Your Dog to Stop Eating Your Daughters’ Underwear With Jenny Slate

Erin thinks her dog Chief has the most embarrassing habit—he keeps eating her daughters’ underwear. This has happened several times, resulting in multiple costly surgeries. If she doesn’t put a stop to it, it could eventually kill Chief. How can she get her dog to behave and, more importantly, get her teenage daughters to put their underwear in the hamper? On this episode of How To!, Jenny Slate, comedian, actress, author of Little Weirds and voice of Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, ope

Jun 28, 2022 • 35:54

How To Dress with Confidence

How To Dress with Confidence

Coming out of the worst of the pandemic, a lot of us need to relearn how to socialize, from what to say to what to wear. Our listener, Kristen, is headed back to the office and wants to feel like a boss. The only problem? She looks at her wardrobe and doesn’t know where to begin. On this episode of How To!, we bring in celebrity stylist Leesa Evans to give her a crash course in clothing. Leesa has helped some famous clients (i.e. Amy Schumer) discover fashion that is both functional and

Jun 21, 2022 • 40:59

How To Run for Office Without Being an A**hole

How To Run for Office Without Being an A**hole

We all know the country is deeply fractured right now, and that’s especially true in our politics. There is vitriol, bitter partisanship and an expectation that in order to succeed you need to beat up on your opponent. So is it possible to fight for your beliefs, remain civil and still win elections? On this episode of How To!, we brought together two politicians from either side of the aisle who are living proof that we can practice politics with humanity. Utah Governor Spencer Cox and

Jun 14, 2022 • 42:11

Encore: How To Stand Up for Your Kid When Society Won’t

Encore: How To Stand Up for Your Kid When Society Won’t

Karin always thought of herself as the mom of two boys—that is, until last year when her oldest child told her they were nonbinary, meaning they don’t identify as either male or female. Karin loves her kid deeply, but she’s struggling to get used to their new name and pronouns, especially because her town—and husband—aren’t very accepting. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Lisa DelCol, a fellow mom of a nonbinary child and former president of PFLAG Oklahoma City, to help Karin com

Jun 7, 2022 • 35:16

How To Raise a Future College Athlete

How To Raise a Future College Athlete

Elizabeth’s son Lucas is a talented athlete who wants to compete in track and field at an NCAA Division One school. But so far he’s been running away from doing any research or planning. His mother, Elizabeth, wants to help him be recruited and maybe even get a scholarship. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Steve Magness, performance expert, former track coach for the University of Houston, and author of Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Rea

May 31, 2022 • 36:38

How To Ditch the Apps & Actually Find a Date

How To Ditch the Apps & Actually Find a Date

Daniel seems to be the whole package. He’s smart, social, and has lots of friends. He even organizes a beach volleyball league in Berlin. But he can’t seem to land a date despite his best efforts. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Andrea Silenzi, dating aficionado and host of the acclaimed dating podcast Why Oh Why. She knows what it’s like to put a ton of effort into dating and not land the relationship she wants. Now married, she shares how she broke through a decade of bad dates and has

May 24, 2022 • 36:34

How To Make Sexual Consent Sexy

How To Make Sexual Consent Sexy

After experiencing multiple instances of sexual assault, Julia often feels sexually disconnected from her own body. She wants to be aware of her boundaries and find pleasure in new relationships going forward. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jamila Dawson, licensed marriage and family therapist, and August McLaughlin, health and sexuality journalist and host of Girl Boner Radio. Together they wrote With Pleasure: Managing Trauma Triggers for More Vibrant Sex and Relationships. T

May 17, 2022 • 39:22

How To Be a Lazy Genius

How To Be a Lazy Genius

When Samantha and her husband moved from a condo to a fairly large house, they knew they’d have a lot of updating and upkeep to do. But they had no idea how much time their new chores would gobble up. Or even what chores to do. (If only there was a guide to adulting!) Even when they weren’t holding themselves to picture-perfect standards, it still felt like they were barely keeping their heads above water. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Kendra Adachi, she’s a best-selling autho

May 10, 2022 • 35:31

How To Bounce Back From Burnout

How To Bounce Back From Burnout

When Betsy joined her last workplace, she thought it was a perfect fit. It was on a list of Best Places to Work and she got to be creative while helping people. But as the startup rapidly grew, the company culture changed and Betsy started to lose herself amid the stress. Then she got laid off. Honestly, Betsy was relieved, but now she’s gotta figure out what’s next. On this episode of How To!, we bring on James Altucher, author, podcaster, and all-around interesting person. He’s both c

May 3, 2022 • 35:20

How To (Really) Help Refugees

How To (Really) Help Refugees

When the Taliban took over Afghanistan in August, the Female Tactical Platoon, a unit of elite Afghan soldiers, knew they had to evacuate. “If they were captured, they would be killed,” according to a Green Beret who worked alongside them because they were “an affront to everything the Taliban stood for.” Ellie, a U.S. Army Captain, moved earth and heaven to get them to America. But navigating the U.S. refugee resettlement system proved much more difficult than they expected. On this ep

Apr 26, 2022 • 37:13

How To Change a Mascot Without Tearing Apart Your School

How To Change a Mascot Without Tearing Apart Your School

The town of Dartmouth, Massachusetts is in the middle of a mascot debate that’s escalated quickly. Our listener Keith grew up there and his kids attend the high school in question. He’s been vocal about his support for changing the school’s Indian warrior logo but is wondering if there’s a better way to solve this issue than trading barbs with the opposition. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Maulian Dana, Penobscot Nation tribal ambassador, one of the four federally recognized in

Apr 19, 2022 • 35:17

How To Solve Your Own Medical Mystery

How To Solve Your Own Medical Mystery

When Mike was wracked with a series of unexplained headaches in 2017, he initially chalked it up to being a stressed out grad student. But the pain became debilitating and his symptoms only multiplied from there. His doctors are stumped and Mike doesn't know where to turn next. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Meghan O’Rourke, author of The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness. Meghan has been on her own medical journey for years and has some extremely helpful advice fo

Apr 12, 2022 • 35:12

How To Start Writing (w/ Anna Quindlen & John Dickerson)

How To Start Writing (w/ Anna Quindlen & John Dickerson)

You’ve probably heard about the importance of journaling, putting thoughts on paper to help process the daily vicissitudes of life. But it’s easy to stall once you see a blank page or get self conscious about what exactly you’re writing. On this episode of How To!, we bring together Anna Quindlen, bestselling novelist and author of the new book Write For Your Life, and John Dickerson, co-host of Slate’s Political Gabfest, CBS News reporter, author and veteran journaler. They share their

Apr 5, 2022 • 39:27

How To Speak Up So Others Listen

How To Speak Up So Others Listen

If you were to pop by Mary Ann’s PhD discussion group, you’d most likely find her quietly, but intently, listening to the debate going on around her. But when it comes time to actually throw in her two cents, she comes up short. She feels nervous. Her mind goes blank. And she leaves the session feeling frustrated that she didn’t voice her thoughts. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Amy Cuddy, author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenge. Amy has done a

Mar 29, 2022 • 35:06

How To Stand Up To a Workplace Bully

How To Stand Up To a Workplace Bully

When a fellow employee started bullying Christy at her workplace she took the situation to her supervisor, Human Resources, and even filed grievances with her union. But the situation never improved. In fact, it got worse to the point where Christy had no choice but to walk away from her job of over 30 years. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Megan Hunter – co-founder and CEO of High Conflict Institute and author of BIFF at Work: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace Communication. Sh

Mar 22, 2022 • 33:36

How To Make Friends... Like a Man

How To Make Friends... Like a Man

After Zach heard our “How To Make Friends as an Adult” episode, which coincidentally featured all women, he and a few other male listeners wrote in questioning how useful it was for men. He wondered if we could address the unique challenges men face when it comes to making new friends. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Slate staff writers Dan Kois, author of How to Be a Family, and Aymann Ismail, former host of the podcast Man Up, to coach Zach through a few easy tips. “You just g

Mar 15, 2022 • 36:16

How To Have Happy Regrets

How To Have Happy Regrets

Courtenay has more than a few regrets, starting with her career. Despite her accomplishments as an opera singer, she wishes she’d prioritized her professional goals, become more proficient on the piano and with foreign languages. Then there are the personal regrets, like the elderly friend Courteney lost touch with — who then passed away. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Daniel H. Pink, author of The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, to coach Courtenay throu

Mar 8, 2022 • 36:19

How To Stop ‘Having It All’ (Before You End Up With Nothing)

How To Stop ‘Having It All’ (Before You End Up With Nothing)

Janey is the very definition of a woman trying to “have it all.” She’s an occupational therapist by day, a ghost writer for influencers by night and in between co-hosts a podcast. On top of that, she has two sons who play travel sports and a husband who works long hours. It’s left Janey wondering if she’ll ever catch her breath. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Amy Westervelt, who’s no slouch herself. She’s a journalist, host of the award-winning podcast Drilled, a busy mom and author of

Mar 1, 2022 • 38:18

Encore: How To Win Gold Without Losing Yourself

Encore: How To Win Gold Without Losing Yourself

Winning the Olympics is everything Steve Mesler ever wanted. So when he and his U.S. bobsled teammates stood atop the podium at the 2010 Vancouver Games, his life seemed golden in every way. But soon after his triumph, Steve began to experience a period of extended mourning. Even though he won a gold medal, he lost his identity and sense of purpose. And he wasn't the only one. On this episode of How To!, the former Olympian, co-founder of Classroom Champions, and current United States O

Feb 22, 2022 • 37:05

How To Fight With Your Parents

How To Fight With Your Parents

It’s been two decades since Maggie’s mom has gone to the doctor and her health is incredibly….shaky. Maggie’s mom has severe asthma and allergies which has basically isolated her from the world. With isolation has come anger and bitterness. Maggie is at a loss. She’s tried everything she can think of yet her mother refuses to get help. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Elizabeth Berg, a nurse-turned-bestselling novelist who has penned some 30 books, many focusing on family drama. Her lates

Feb 15, 2022 • 33:06

How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game

How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game

Susan was concerned when she first learned that someone was impersonating her on Facebook, but that soon turned to anger when she realized the imposter had sent inappropriate photos to her real life friends. Susan tried and failed to get the account taken down. Then came the extortion letter...and now she’s freaking out a bit. On this episode of How To!, Jack Rhysider, host of Darknet Diaries and cybersecurity veteran, talks about the time he was stalked on the internet. Jack no longer

Feb 8, 2022 • 36:36

How To Crack Up Your Coworkers (Without Being Offensive)

How To Crack Up Your Coworkers (Without Being Offensive)

Last week we learned about using the four different styles of humor to your advantage, and who makes a good target for a joke. But what if you read the room wrong and absolutely bomb? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we resume our conversation with Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Michael Terry, the most hilarious hedge fund guy we’ve ever met. They swap stories about office jokes that fell flat, how to navigate a suddenly tense situation a

Feb 1, 2022 • 36:36

How To Make Humor Your Superpower

How To Make Humor Your Superpower

Did you know that we, as a society, have fallen off a comedy cliff? No joke. Studies have shown that we largely stop laughing when we enter our mid-twenties, which is a shame because delighting in humor has a ton of health benefits. Plus, being perceived as funny can actually make people think you’re more intelligent, more competent, and even better looking! So on this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we bring on Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Michael Terr

Jan 25, 2022 • 37:07

Encore: How To Succeed When Everyone's Mad at You

Encore: How To Succeed When Everyone's Mad at You

Have you ever had to make an impossible decision? One that doesn’t have an obvious “right” answer. One that someone will inevitably hate. John knows this feeling all too well. He’s the superintendent for a mid-size school district in California. To say the last school year was difficult is a major understatement… John tried to ensure the safety of his students, teachers, and faculty while balancing the reality of students struggling in their virtual classes. Throughout the school year,

Jan 18, 2022 • 37:46

How To Squash Your Fear of Bugs (and Other Phobias)

How To Squash Your Fear of Bugs (and Other Phobias)

Every year, around the same time, Peter’s apartment comes alive. The shadows begin to scuttle and the pipes creak with creepy crawlies. At least that’s how it feels. Peter is freaked out by Israel’s large flying cockroaches. Logically, he knows they don’t pose a threat. But he can’t control his visceral disgust at encountering one and his panicked vigilance in the days that follow. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr. Elizabeth McMahon, a clinical psychologist who has been treati

Jan 11, 2022 • 33:45

How To Eat Whatever You Want

How To Eat Whatever You Want

Every January nearly 75 percent of Americans resolve to make their lives better by losing weight. But this year we’re breaking free from the cycle of restrictive eating and spiraling shame. Journalist Virginia Sole-Smith, host and author of Burnt Toast and The Eating Instinct, has some eye-opening tips for our listener Tori that will help her ditch the scale, become more comfortable with her body, and even learn to control sugar cravings—by eating as many sweets as she wants. If you lik

Jan 4, 2022 • 39:38

How To Break the Spell of Social Media

How To Break the Spell of Social Media

James is head over heels in love with his wife. But there’s one thing that keeps getting in between them … the glow of her smartphone. His wife is constantly scrolling social media or staging photo ops with James and their kids to create a picture perfect life online. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr. David Greenfield, the founder of The Center for Internet and Technology Addiction, to help James understand why it’s so hard for his wife to log off. He has some fascinating advi

Dec 28, 2021 • 35:39

How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship

How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship

One night a few months ago Elaine got a phone call out of the blue from a co-worker. She and her 12-year old daughter had checked herself into a hotel after she was beaten by husband. Elaine took her co-worker to the hospital and encouraged her to leave her husband, but a couple weeks later she was back at home. Now Elaine can’t stop worrying about her friend and wondering if (and how) she should help. On this episode of How To!, we’re joined by Suzanne Dubus, advocate, survivor and CEO

Dec 21, 2021 • 36:40

Our Favorite Advice of 2021

Our Favorite Advice of 2021

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we ran faster, kept cool in a crisis, had the best sex of our lives, stopped snoring, and even won the Olympics. The How To! team, including former host David Epstein, gathers ‘round the mic to round up our favorite advice of the year. We talk about how we applied that advice to our own lives, share some surprising updates from folks who were on the show, and give a behind-the-scenes look at how the podcas

Dec 14, 2021 • 33:43

When To Say Goodbye to a Difficult Dog

When To Say Goodbye to a Difficult Dog

Deciding to give up your dog is not something we talk about much, especially now when our pets are more like family members. But what do you do when your dog has behavioral problems that threaten the safety of others? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series on difficult dogs, we hear more from renowned trainer Denise Fenzi and inventor and YouTuber Simone Giertz. They open up about their traumatic experiences with previous dogs and how they eventually had to give the

Dec 7, 2021 • 35:23

How To Get Your Dog to Stop Barking (Without Barking Back)

How To Get Your Dog to Stop Barking (Without Barking Back)

Approximately 23 million families in the US got a pet during the pandemic, many of them puppies. At their best, dogs truly are “man’s best friend,” providing real comfort and companionship. But it can be tough when your new dog isn’t adapting as well as you’d hoped. Whether it’s excessive barking, aggression towards strangers or just not getting along with family members—a difficult dog can rock your confidence and make you feel resentful. On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-

Nov 30, 2021 • 36:42

How To Embrace Your Anti-Vax Family This Holiday Season

How To Embrace Your Anti-Vax Family This Holiday Season

Jackie is newly engaged, but thoughts about her big day fill her with dread, not excitement. Jackie and her fiance want to have only vaccinated people at their wedding to protect some vulnerable family members from COVID-19. However, requiring vaccination means Jackie’s parents and sister likely won’t attend, which would break Jackie’s heart. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Nwandi Lawson, a former journalist who now runs a communications firm specializing in difficult conversati

Nov 23, 2021 • 36:39

How To Advance Your Career by Quitting Your Job

How To Advance Your Career by Quitting Your Job

For nearly a decade, Jono devoted all his time and energy to creating and running a customized shoe company. But, unfortunately, his start-up didn’t survive the pandemic. Now Jono is in the tricky position of transitioning from CEO to working for someone else. He’s wondering how to brand his non-linear career path and transform himself into an ideal job candidate. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Joseph Liu, a consultant who has made a career out of changing careers, and host of

Nov 16, 2021 • 35:55

How To Get Your Book Published

How To Get Your Book Published

Shanimarie has a story in her heart, one she believes the world needs to hear. It’s a story of immigration, sacrifice and a mother’s love that this first-grade teacher wishes she had read as a young girl who moved from Jamaica to the U.S. Shanimarie has been working on the idea for a couple of years now. She’s submitted a manuscript to several publishers, but is making the rookie mistakes that most aspiring authors make. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Denene Millner, a New York

Nov 9, 2021 • 35:40

What To Do When Your Husband Becomes Your Boss

What To Do When Your Husband Becomes Your Boss

This episode is supported by Work Check, an original podcast from Atlassian.Bethany was ecstatic when her husband Travis got a promotion. They’ve been co-workers for over a decade and Bethany really valued being on equal footing. But that power balance has since gone topsy turvy. Travis is now her boss (technically her boss’s boss) and things are suddenly not equal at home or at work. Her coworkers are treating her differently, and she feels like her career identity is being overshadowe

Nov 2, 2021 • 37:19

How To Beat the Dreaded Midday Slump

How To Beat the Dreaded Midday Slump

For a behind the scenes look into some of the articles we read when we create the show, check out our Pocket collection at http://getpocket.com/slate.Every day around 2:00 p.m. Rob hits a brick wall. A busy job and two young children have zapped all of his energy, and he’s desperate to do something—anything—to make it through the rest of the workday. Enter the elusive and often guilt-ridden midday nap. But there too Rob struggles to really rest and then wake up without making things wor

Oct 26, 2021 • 37:12

How To Make Friends as an Adult

How To Make Friends as an Adult

Grace and Nikki both need more friends. Grace is an ICU nurse whose best friends have moved away. Nikki is an electrical engineer who worked remotely for the last year and is now moving to a new city. Making friends as an adult is hard, but not impossible. You just have to do things differently than when you were in 6th grade. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Elizabeth Newcamp, co-host of Slate’s Mom and Dad are Fighting and the author of Dutch, Dutch, Goose, a parenting and trav

Oct 19, 2021 • 42:26

How To Keep Cool in a Crisis

How To Keep Cool in a Crisis

Last week we learned how to stop a public fight before it starts. But despite our best intentions, ugly confrontations still happen—sometimes with tragic consequences. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two part-series, Dan Christensen, a bus driver in Portland, Oregon, and Matt Smith, a crisis intervention trainer and the co-founder of Aegis Training Solutions, are back to teach you what to do when a fight is already underway. Dan talks about his experience with the 2017 Portl

Oct 12, 2021 • 36:03

How To Stop a Fight Before It Starts

How To Stop a Fight Before It Starts

Things are a little more tense than usual these days. Stress and anxiety levels are up and so are fights in public. We’ve all heard stories of bad behavior in restaurants, airports, hospitals, school board meetings, etc. So on this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we bring on Dan Christensen, a bus driver in Portland, Oregon, and Matt Smith, a crisis intervention trainer and the co-founder of Aegis Training Solutions. They both have years of experience defusing ugly c

Oct 5, 2021 • 35:48

How To Coach Squirrelly Kids (and Screaming Parents)

How To Coach Squirrelly Kids (and Screaming Parents)

When Kelly volunteered to be the head coach for his son’s baseball team, he was nervous. He had no formal training, but he knew he wanted his players to have equal playing time and, more importantly, have fun. Which they did….until the yelling started and the season ended in a surprising loss (and quite a few tears). What can Kelly do better next season? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Doug Lemov, author of the books, Teach Like a Champion and The Coach’s Guide to Teaching. Doug

Sep 28, 2021 • 33:24

How To Fill an Empty Nest

How To Fill an Empty Nest

Susan never really got over saying goodbye to her eldest daughter, who left for college four years ago. She knew it would be sad, but she didn’t expect to be nauseous. Now her youngest is applying to college, and she’s already dreading drop-off next fall which makes her feel like a "pathetic loser." What can Susan do to prep herself for more heartbreak and a completely empty nest? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Kelly Corrigan, best-selling author and host of the podcast Kelly C

Sep 21, 2021 • 34:48

How To Crack Your Kid Like a CIA Operative

How To Crack Your Kid Like a CIA Operative

Every kid sneaks a cookie from the cookie jar, but Jamie’s 8 year-old daughter Simone has taken it to the next level. If you look under her pillow or in the back of her closet, you’ll find stashes of candy wrappers and other illicit items. When confronted, Simone never cracks under pressure. Jamie is worried that if this behavior isn’t stopped soon, Simone will grow up to be a “supervillain.” On this episode of How To!, we bring on Christina and Ryan Hillsberg, authors of License to Par

Sep 14, 2021 • 35:50

How To Live With a Dirty Family Secret

How To Live With a Dirty Family Secret

Usually when something enters Rachel’s parents’ home, it never leaves. Growing up, Rachel and her siblings tried to clean out the growing piles of junk, but her mom would often dig into the trash to retrieve whatever was tossed. Rachel finally escaped her parent’s over-stuffed house but she still worries about their safety and quality of life. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jessie Sholl, author of Dirty Secret: A Daughter Comes Clean About Her Mother's Compulsive Hoarding. She

Sep 7, 2021 • 32:43

How To Succeed When Everyone's Mad at You

How To Succeed When Everyone's Mad at You

Have you ever had to make an impossible decision? One that doesn’t have an obvious “right” answer. One that someone will inevitably hate. John knows this feeling all too well. He’s the superintendent for a mid-size school district in California. To say the last school year was difficult is a major understatement… John tried to ensure the safety of his students, teachers, and faculty while balancing the reality of students struggling in their virtual classes. Throughout the school year,

Aug 31, 2021 • 38:28

How To Beat Your Hidden Biases

How To Beat Your Hidden Biases

Do you think of yourself as a “good” person? Most of us do. You probably show others kindness and respect—no matter their age, gender, sexuality, or race, right? But our unconscious biases are often more powerful than we realize. In fact, mountains of evidence show the extent to which implicit bias is ingrained in our police departments, doctor’s offices and hiring committees, often to the detriment of marginalized groups. Our listener this week, Tim, has spent a lot of time thinking ab

Aug 24, 2021 • 34:43

How To Repair a Broken Relationship Before It's Too Late

How To Repair a Broken Relationship Before It's Too Late

It’s painful for Barbara to think back on her son Ethan’s childhood. For years Ethan was caught between feuding parents until, one day, Ethan went to live with his dad and never came back. Barbara regrets not fighting harder for her son or at least communicating better. Now she wants to ask for a second chance before it’s too late—but isn’t sure how to go about it. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we continue with Amy Baker, a developmental psychologist who s

Aug 17, 2021 • 37:07

How To Reconnect with Your Kid After a Nasty Divorce

How To Reconnect with Your Kid After a Nasty Divorce

Barbara survived a divorce so brutal that she refers to it as ‘The War of the Roses.’ Perhaps the most painful casualty was the severing of her relationship with her son, Ethan. Decades have passed and Ethan is now married with kids of his own, who Barbara adores. But due to their chilly, distant relationship, Barbara doesn’t get to see them as much as she’d like. Can Barbara repair their broken relationship before it’s too late? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part serie

Aug 10, 2021 • 33:40

How To Never Miss a Deadline

How To Never Miss a Deadline

Avalon is driven, creative, and… can’t meet a deadline to save her life. In her defense, she’s a card-carrying member of the gig economy, juggling a complicated schedule as a DJ and visual artist. Avalon’s tried to organize her life using a bullet journal, but procrastination keeps getting in the way of her career pursuits. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series on time management, we talk to Christopher Cox, author of The Deadline Effect: How To Work Like It’s the

Aug 3, 2021 • 31:09

How To Ditch Your Distractions Once and For All

How To Ditch Your Distractions Once and For All

There’s one thing that all of Helena’s personal projects have in common: they remain unfinished. The family photo album is empty, as is her mom’s recipe book. And the lavender garden is still unplanted. Helena is not lazy. In fact, she’s a busy lawyer who has no problem finishing tasks at the office. But she’s also a busy mother raising a family, and free time is hard to come by. So how can Helena banish her distractions? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series on tim

Jul 27, 2021 • 37:15

Congrats, You Won the Olympics. Now What?

Congrats, You Won the Olympics. Now What?

Winning the Olympics is everything Steve Mesler ever wanted. So when he and his U.S. bobsled teammates stood atop the podium at the 2010 Vancouver Games, his life seemed golden in every way. But soon after his triumph, Steve began to experience a period of extended mourning. Even though he won a gold medal, he lost his identity and sense of purpose. And he wasn't the only one. On this episode of How To!, the former Olympian, co-founder of Classroom Champions, and current United States O

Jul 20, 2021 • 35:41

How To Make a Big Purchase Without Panicking

How To Make a Big Purchase Without Panicking

Alexandra and her boyfriend want to buy a house, but they’re looking in one of the hottest housing markets in the U.S. So when they got outbid for their dream home, Alexandra was secretly relieved. Spending money, even if it’s something she can afford, is absolutely terrifying to her. Alexandra grew up homeless and even though she’s now a lawyer, she has a hard time ever feeling financially secure. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Athena Lent, founder of Money Smart Latina and financial a

Jul 13, 2021 • 35:44

How To Fight Outrageous Medical Bills

How To Fight Outrageous Medical Bills

Rich thought nothing of going to the hospital for a routine colonoscopy—until he got the bill. Even with insurance, Rich is on the hook for nearly $2,000, way more than he ever expected. It’s particularly painful because Rich was planning to finally pay off his credit card debt before getting married. So what can he do? Our expert this week has a suggestion—don’t pay the bill, at least, not at first. On this episode of How To!, we bring on investigative reporter Marshall Allen, author o

Jul 6, 2021 • 34:41

How To Trick Your Brain Into Running Longer

How To Trick Your Brain Into Running Longer

Have you ever thought about running but been too intimidated to start? Or maybe you’ve already got an after-work jogging routine and need tips on how to increase your endurance? On this episode of How To!, we reveal the game-changing, unexpected running tips you didn’t know you needed with the help of Alex Hutchinson, author of Endure: Mind, Body, and the Curiously Elastic Limits of Human Performance, and Shannon Palus, a Slate senior editor and marathon runner. Our experts say the key

Jun 29, 2021 • 32:53

I'm a Recovering Alcoholic. I'm Afraid My Kids Will End Up Like Me.

I'm a Recovering Alcoholic. I'm Afraid My Kids Will End Up Like Me.

Lee is worried that one day soon her 25-year-old adopted daughter, who is pregnant and struggling with a drug addiction, will show up on her doorstep with a baby in tow. How will she be able to explain the situation to her other daughter, who’s only 6 years old? And how can she prepare her for the day she’ll confront drugs and alcohol herself? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jessica Lahey, a teacher and the author of The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture o

Jun 22, 2021 • 32:36

After a Year of Survival, How to Start Living Again

After a Year of Survival, How to Start Living Again

For the past year, Brandon has been terrified of leaving his apartment. And so he’s settled into an extreme pandemic routine. He cooks all of his own meals, has yet to see his parents, and on the rare occasion he takes the trash out, still wears double masks, rubber gloves and safety goggles. Brandon has been fully vaccinated for weeks now but the very low risk of a breakthrough Covid case seems like a grave danger because a few years ago he suffered another incredibly rare viral infect

Jun 15, 2021 • 33:25

How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life

How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life

Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she’s lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn’t interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she’s worried it’s hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are, to coach Meme through how to revamp her sex life. For busy couples, you should actually schedule a time on your calendar to be

Jun 8, 2021 • 34:30

How to Turn Grit Into a Lifelong Habit | Angela Duckworth | The TED Interview

How to Turn Grit Into a Lifelong Habit | Angela Duckworth | The TED Interview

What does it take to persevere and succeed, not just in our careers but in all aspects of our lives? For psychologist Angela Duckworth, the answer can be summed up in one concept: grit. She explains the ingredients in grit and the experiences that make one person persist where another gives up — and offers concrete steps to instill grit early in life and sustain it.This is an episode of The TED Interview, a podcast from the TED Audio Collective. For more episodes, find it wherever you'r

Jun 5, 2021 • 1:00:48

My Kid's Anxiety Is Giving ME Anxiety! How Do I Fix This?

My Kid's Anxiety Is Giving ME Anxiety! How Do I Fix This?

Michaela is worried that her son, Asher, is constantly worried. At 8 years old, Asher is already dealing with some pretty intense anxiety. For example, he cried every day at school last year. Now that he’s being home schooled during the pandemic, Michaela has seen how much pressure Asher puts on himself to do well. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr. Krystal Lewis, a clinical psychologist at the National Institute of Mental Health who works with kids with anxiety disorders. Krys

Jun 1, 2021 • 32:37

The Single Most Important Thing to Know Before Becoming a Single Parent

The Single Most Important Thing to Know Before Becoming a Single Parent

Stacie is in her early 30s and is ready to have a baby. There’s just one problem—she doesn’t have a partner. As much as she wants to be a mom, Stacie is worried about being a single parent by choice. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Lori Gottlieb, therapist, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, and solo mom herself. Lori opens about her own experience having her son on her own, navigating people’s judgment, and finding ways to consider herself “enough” as a single parent.

May 25, 2021 • 33:38

How to Stand Up to Your Terrible Manager—Without Getting Fired

How to Stand Up to Your Terrible Manager—Without Getting Fired

Shirley loves her job as a product manager for a startup, but she can’t stand her manager. He’s inefficient, old-fashioned, and entirely unsupportive of her work. “Just so you know, you don’t deserve this,” he told Shirley when she recently got promoted. Is there anything Shirley can do to make her work situation better? On this episode of How To, we bring on Patty McCord, former chief talent officer for Netflix and author of Powerful: Building a Culture of Freedom and Responsibility, t

May 18, 2021 • 33:19

How To Have a Fight That Actually Helps Your Relationship

How To Have a Fight That Actually Helps Your Relationship

Diane feels like she’s constantly picking fights with her partner Mohammed—when he forgets to grab tomatoes from the grocery store or drops the ball on planning their son’s birthday party. Their conflicts are complicated by layers of cultural differences: Mohammed is a Syrian refugee, Diane is an American, and they live in the Netherlands. “He lived through a war, so I can’t win any argument,” says Diane, who is increasingly desperate to find a solution. On this episode of How To!, we b

May 11, 2021 • 35:16

Now Is the Time To Escape Your Bad Relationship. Here’s How.

Now Is the Time To Escape Your Bad Relationship. Here’s How.

Dating is always tough, but during a pandemic it can feel downright impossible. “I’m incredibly lonely, and it’s impossible to meet anybody my age right now,” our listener Sarah said. Feeling isolated, Sarah has clung to a friends-with-benefit situation with Matthew, her friend and dance partner. But at 36, Sarah knows the relationship isn’t meant to last. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, dating coach, and author of How to Not

May 4, 2021 • 34:11

I’m Great at My Job. So Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud?

I’m Great at My Job. So Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud?

When Shellye Archambeau walked into her first meeting as a board member of Verizon, she felt a moment of panic. “Do I actually belong at this table?” she remembers thinking. Shellye, one of the first Black women to work as the CEO of a tech company in Silicon Valley, has struggled over the years with what’s commonly known as “impostor syndrome”—the feeling that you are a phony, despite all evidence to the contrary. On this episode of How To!, Shellye, the author of Unapologetically Ambi

Apr 27, 2021 • 30:25

How To Give a Killer Speech

How To Give a Killer Speech

We're all have to give a presentation at some point in our lives — on a stage, in a conference room, and, these days, on Zoom. So what makes a good speech? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Chris Anderson, the head of TED Talks and author of TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking. Chris gives us the inside scoop on the famous speaking series and breaks down some of the greatest speeches of all time. Then we present Chris with an unusual challenge from a 6th-grader na

Apr 20, 2021 • 33:52

I Was Lost at Sea for 438 Days. Here's How I Survived.

I Was Lost at Sea for 438 Days. Here's How I Survived.

Imagine you’re floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a boat the size of an SUV. You have no working electronics, no food or water, and only a styrofoam box to shade you from the sun. Your only companion is a 22-year-old who has little seafaring experience. How would you survive? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jonathan Franklin, author of 438 Days, to tell us the incredible story of José Salvador Alvarenga, a shark fisherman who survived at sea for over 14 months. Jonat

Apr 13, 2021 • 34:30

How To Fight Rattlesnakes and Polar Bears

How To Fight Rattlesnakes and Polar Bears

Have you ever wondered how you’d fare in the wild? What you’d do when facing off against a rattlesnake or staring down a polar bear? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we dive into two extreme scenarios worthy of their own action movies. First, Kyle Dickman, author of On the Burning Edge and a former hotshot firefighter, opens up about the time he truly feared for his life—not fighting wildfires, but crossing paths with a rattlesnake on a family hike. Next, we’l

Apr 6, 2021 • 33:35

How To Write the Perfect Obituary

How To Write the Perfect Obituary

Laura’s dad lived an unusual life. He raised 12 children on a farm without running water in the Texas countryside while also programming his own website that connected families, for free, with help when they were going through difficult times. Ever since he passed away this January, Laura has been searching for a way to tell his story, hoping to ultimately post what she writes about her father on Facebook. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Glenn Rifkin, author of Future Forward an

Mar 30, 2021 • 32:44

How To Make an Exit Like Mary Poppins

How To Make an Exit Like Mary Poppins

For years, Stella helped raise twin girls whom she loved deeply. She potty trained them, read bedtime stories and made sure they ate their veggies. But then, one day with little warning, she was asked to leave them. Stella isn’t a parent—she’s a nanny. And though it’s been years, she’s still heartbroken over being let go from her old job, especially the way it ended. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Tasha Blaine, author of Becoming a Social Worker and Just Like Family. Tasha spen

Mar 23, 2021 • 34:07

How To Stop Snoring (And Breathe Easier)

How To Stop Snoring (And Breathe Easier)

Andrew snores so badly that his cats won’t sleep in the same room as him. He’s desperate to sleep better at night, and breathe more easily during the day. As a trans man, Andrew spent most of his life training to be a soprano opera singer only to become a baritone when he transitioned in his early 20s. On this episode of How To!, we bring on James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, to share the history of why we breathe the way we do. Turns out being a “mouth-breat

Mar 16, 2021 • 33:31

How To Quiet the Chatter in Your Head

How To Quiet the Chatter in Your Head

Emilia can’t stop thinking about a long-ago love affair with Ivan, a man she met in Mexico in her early 20s and dated for several years. Now, a decade later, Emilia is newly married, but thoughts of her time with Ivan pop into her mind daily, a fact she’s never shared with her husband. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ethan Kross, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan and the author of Chatter: The Voice In Our Head, Why It Matters, and How To Harness It. Whether t

Mar 9, 2021 • 32:11

How To Survive a Doomsday Cult

How To Survive a Doomsday Cult

Michael grew up terrified that the world was going to end. This wasn’t your typical childhood anxiety, but something he was taught while being raised in the Children of God cult. Michael left the cult years ago, but now in his 30s he’s struggling to heal the scars it left on his parents and 11 siblings. How do you go on living when the world doesn’t actually come to an end? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Rebecca Stott, author of In the Days of Rain, a memoir about her childhood

Mar 2, 2021 • 31:31

How To Fall Out of Love

How To Fall Out of Love

Several months ago, Sarah told her best friend John she’s in love with him—but he doesn’t love her back. Now Sarah can’t get John out of her head, especially because they still talk all the time. How can Sarah move on from John? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and the author of Anatomy of Love, to help Sarah train her heart—and her brain—to fall out of love. The first thing Sarah needs to do, Helen says, is cut off contact with John. Eve

Feb 23, 2021 • 35:05

How To Start Over at 60

How To Start Over at 60

Age may just be a number but turning 60 is a big deal—at least, according to three listeners who recently wrote us about the challenges they’re facing in their later years. Joy can’t decide whether to retire from her job as a high school Spanish teacher. Doug is trying to figure out where to channel his energy after a career in the military. And Kim needs to find a way to support herself for the first time in her life after a devastating divorce. On this episode of How To!, we bring on

Feb 16, 2021 • 32:05

How To Leave the Church When Your Dad’s the Pastor

How To Leave the Church When Your Dad’s the Pastor

Chris’s childhood was defined by the Pentecostal church, where his father is a minister and his siblings are following the same path. But when Chris went to college, his views on the church changed, and now at age 23, he no longer identifies as religious. That’s caused a major rift with his parents, and Chris can’t stand the tension anymore. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Patricia Lockwood, a poet and writer who chronicled her own experience leaving the church in her memoir Pri

Feb 9, 2021 • 31:41

How To Steal Back Your Identity

How To Steal Back Your Identity

Ever since Casey’s husband had his identity stolen, Casey hasn’t been able to relax. She spends late nights and weekends obsessively checking their family bank accounts and scouring the web for information on the thieves who live just 15 minutes from her house. The police told Casey that an arrest is unlikely, so how can she find closure and move on with her life? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Abby Ellin, journalist and the author of Duped, who experienced a personal betrayal

Feb 2, 2021 • 31:48

How To Be a Badass On and Off the Court

How To Be a Badass On and Off the Court

Juliet knows she’s one of the best tennis players in her community league, but whenever she gets on the court, she’s paralyzed by self-consciousness. Did the crowd notice how bad that shot was? With all eyes on her, Juliet keeps bungling big points and losing matches she should win. On this episode of How To!, new host David Epstein brings on Sian Beilock, president of Barnard College and the author of Choke, to walk us through the science of why sometimes we play our worst when it matt

Jan 26, 2021 • 34:55

How To Get Things Done in a Divided Nation with Samantha Power

How To Get Things Done in a Divided Nation with Samantha Power

Samantha Power knows what it’s like to arrive in Washington, D.C. and feel a little lost—literally. She once couldn't find the oval office. But more than that, as a Pulitzer Prize-winning human rights activist and former UN Ambassador under President Barack Obama, Samantha had to learn to balance her beliefs with actually getting things done. On this episode of How To!, Samantha, the author of The Education of an Idealist and President Joe Biden’s pick for a post on the National Securit

Jan 19, 2021 • 32:41

Our Favorite Advice of 2020

Our Favorite Advice of 2020

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we learned how to talk politics without wrecking relationships, lose weight and keep it off, confront a crazy neighbor, and even survive a shark attack. As 2020 draws to a close and we look ahead to the New Year, the How To! team comes together to round up our favorite advice of the year. We talk about how we applied that advice to our own lives, share some surprising updates from folks who were on the sho

Dec 29, 2020 • 27:27

How To Stress-Bake with Claire Saffitz

How To Stress-Bake with Claire Saffitz

Are you sick of sourdough? Stress-baking the same chocolate chip cookies every week? Our listener Daniel understands—he’s been baking like crazy during this pandemic, but is feeling tired and uninspired lately. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Claire Saffitz, pastry chef, beloved host of Bon Appétit’s “Gourmet Makes” series, and author of the new cookbook Dessert Person, to hack Daniel’s kitchen pantry and find new ways to use familiar ingredients. As Claire and Daniel make miso

Dec 22, 2020 • 26:39

How To Get Your Dog to Stop Eating Your Daughters’ Underwear With Jenny Slate

How To Get Your Dog to Stop Eating Your Daughters’ Underwear With Jenny Slate

Erin thinks her dog Chief has the most embarrassing habit—he keeps eating her daughters’ underwear. This has happened several times, resulting in multiple costly surgeries. If she can't put a stop to it, it could eventually kill Chief. How can she get her dog to behave and, more importantly, get her teenage daughters to put their underwear in the hamper? On this episode of How To!, Jenny Slate, comedian, actress, and author of Little Weirds, opens up about the time her dog ate something

Dec 15, 2020 • 33:07

How To Get Out of Debt Faster Than You Think

How To Get Out of Debt Faster Than You Think

Irina and her husband are more than $100,000 in debt. They’re working to pay it off, but between monthly credit card bills, student loan payments, 401k contributions and spending on their new baby, their money is spread too thin. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Rachel Cruze, a personal finance expert and author of Know Yourself, Know Your Money, to help Irina create a budget that she can actually follow. It will seem hard at first, Rachel says, but if you cut up your credit card

Dec 11, 2020 • 28:09

How To Face Your Fear of Dying

How To Face Your Fear of Dying

Katie is terrified of dying. As the youngest in a big family, she can’t stop thinking about the fact that all her loved ones may die before she does. Katie is a comedy writer who knows how to get laughs, but her obsession with death is real, and getting in the way of living. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Rachel Menzies, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Sydney and author of Tales from the Valley of Death, to share what she’s learned about death anxiety. Exposu

Dec 8, 2020 • 32:07

How To Save Your Marriage

How To Save Your Marriage

Lauren and Carlos are afraid their marriage is at a breaking point. With Carlos out of work, an active toddler to care for, and another child on the way, Lauren and Carlos are feeling pressures familiar to many newlyweds—and the pandemic has only made it worse. Can we help this couple find their way back to each other? On this episode of How To!, we bring on John and Julie Gottman, who are not only co-founders of The Gottman Institute and co-authors of Eight Dates: Essential Conversatio

Dec 1, 2020 • 32:04

How To Rescue Someone From a Conspiracy Theory

How To Rescue Someone From a Conspiracy Theory

Matt’s dad believes some crazy conspiracy theories—that the moon landing was faked, that JFK’s assassination was an inside job, and that QAnon is real. Matt can’t stand talking about politics—or really anything—with his dad these days, but he’s desperate to preserve their relationship. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Colin Dickey, cultural historian and author of The Unidentified, to explain why conspiracy theories are more popular than ever. To get through to a loved one, Colin

Nov 24, 2020 • 31:57

How To Have an Open Relationship

How To Have an Open Relationship

Abe’s girlfriend wants to try something different—sleeping with other people. In other words, she wants an open relationship. Abe could be on board, but he has some questions. How does that work exactly? What are the ground rules? And what if it ultimately causes them to break up? After all, they’ve been a couple for the better part of 10 years, and just moved back in together after some time apart. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Rich Juzwiak and Stoya, columnists for Slate’s H

Nov 17, 2020 • 30:51

How To Be the Next Erin Brockovich

How To Be the Next Erin Brockovich

Mike is an average guy on a mission to change the state of Florida—specifically, to convince the Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission to stop overspraying the rivers and lakes with herbicides. As a fisherman, Mike cares deeply about the waterways in his state, but he’s struggling to break into the conversation and make a real impact. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Erin Brockovich, the citizen activist and inspiration for the Oscar-winning film Erin Brockovich starring Juli

Nov 10, 2020 • 28:57

How To End a Sibling Rivalry With Kate & Oliver Hudson

How To End a Sibling Rivalry With Kate & Oliver Hudson

Sam and his sister used to be close, but lately their relationship feels strained. Years of favoritism toward Sam by their parents has taken its toll and now, after one disastrous family celebration, Sam worries he may lose his sister entirely. Can Sam save their relationship before it’s too late? In this episode of How To!, we bring on a pair of famous siblings who have navigated everything from an estranged father to Hollywood drama: Kate and Oliver Hudson, actors and the hosts of Sibling Reve

Nov 3, 2020 • 30:30

How To Avoid Becoming Your Mother

How To Avoid Becoming Your Mother

Have you ever had a moment where you realized… I’m becoming like my parents? For many of us that can be a funny realization, but for Michelle it was a wakeup call. Her mother can be a bit of a drama queen, and as time has gone on, Michelle feels like the way she reacts to stressful situations mirrors that of her mother. In fact, Michelle’s boyfriend once told her she was turning into her mother, which, according to Michelle, was “the worst thing anyone could ever say to me.” In this epi

Oct 27, 2020 • 29:54

How To Get People to Vote

How To Get People to Vote

Isabelle decided to spend her gap year as a political volunteer campaigning on behalf of Joe Biden. She’s been writing postcards, making phone calls, and even posting on social media. But she worries she’s not making enough of an impact, and is surprised by how many people are convinced their vote doesn’t matter. In this special bonus episode of How To!, we bring on Don Green, professor of political science at Columbia and co-author of the book Get Out the Vote: How to Increase Voter Tu

Oct 23, 2020 • 17:24

How To Survive a Public Shaming With Katie Hill

How To Survive a Public Shaming With Katie Hill

Back in 2018, newly elected U.S. Representative Katie Hill was a rising star in the Democratic Party. Then unauthorized nude photos of her were leaked to a right-wing blog by her estranged husband, triggering a House Ethics investigation. Katie denied the worst allegations but admitted to a relationship with a female subordinate on her campaign, and, amid immense pressure, resigned her seat. Since then she has written a new memoir She Will Rise, and continues to fight for her reputation

Oct 20, 2020 • 35:55

How To Talk Politics Without Wrecking Relationships

How To Talk Politics Without Wrecking Relationships

On a recent phone call Shannon’s mom didn’t mince words: The only way she’d vote for Joe Biden is if Jesus himself comes down and tells her to. Growing up in a conservative household, Shannon understands her parents’ support for Trump. But she no longer sees eye-to-eye with them and every time they talk about politics it turns into a fight. The result is a complete fraying of their relationship. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Bill Doherty, professor of family social science at

Oct 13, 2020 • 35:22

How To Lose Weight and Keep It Off

How To Lose Weight and Keep It Off

John needs to shed 15-20 pounds. At age 72, on the cusp of retirement, he wants to reduce his blood pressure medication and have more energy to travel. John knows how to lose weight—at an earlier point in his life he lost more than 50 pounds! But now he’s gained much of it back, and with his wife baking him more sweets during the pandemic, he can’t motivate himself to keep the weight off. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Katy Milkman, a behavioral economist at the University of P

Oct 6, 2020 • 32:27

How To Get Away With Murder

How To Get Away With Murder

One day in 1987, a young girl in a small town in upstate New York disappeared and then turned up dead. For seven years her murder went unsolved, until police finally caught the killer, a local man whom everyone knew. The town would never be the same, according to our listener Jen who grew up there. She’s a true crime fanatic and first-time podcaster who wants to investigate how the murderer got away with it for so long. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Jessica Garrison, a BuzzFee

Sep 29, 2020 • 33:54

How To Win Arguments Like a Hostage Negotiator

How To Win Arguments Like a Hostage Negotiator

Shayne defuses bombs for the military, but in his personal life he’s terrified of confrontation. Take, for example, the time his kids’ babysitter cleaned out a week’s worth of groceries from his fridge and he never said anything. Shayne wants to be understanding and give people the benefit of the doubt, but he ends up feeling taken advantage of time and time again. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference, to hel

Sep 22, 2020 • 33:32

Cheat Sheet: How To Survive High School & Whatever Comes Next

Cheat Sheet: How To Survive High School & Whatever Comes Next

College application season is here and Aria, a 17 year-old senior, is stressing—even more than usual. At her high school in Chicago’s south suburbs, she gets good grades, is on the cheer team, in multiple honor societies, leads the choral ensemble, and hosts her own feminist podcast. But now that Aria’s learning remotely during a pandemic, her anxiety is off the charts. How can she possibly choose a college, much less a career, amid such uncertainty? In this episode of How To!, we bring

Sep 15, 2020 • 33:47

Cheat Sheet: How To Talk to Your Son About Sex

Cheat Sheet: How To Talk to Your Son About Sex

Thirteen-year-old Henry seems like a model son. He gets good grades, plays on the hockey team, and has a solid group of friends. But Henry’s been spending a lot more time on the Internet during the pandemic, and recently brought up something that troubled his parents—that a woman could ruin a man’s career by accusing him of sexual harassment. Now his parents wonder what other forms of toxic masculinity Henry is learning online and in the locker room. In this episode of How To!, we bring

Sep 8, 2020 • 34:15

Cheat Sheet: How To Ace Zoom School

Cheat Sheet: How To Ace Zoom School

Anna is sure the amount of time her two children spend on YouTube or Roblox cannot be good for them. With remote learning this fall, Anna is worried their addiction to screens is only going to worsen, stunting their imagination and exposing them to dangers online. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Devorah Heitner, author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World, to help Anna figure out the most constructive ways to monitor and guide her children’s sc

Sep 1, 2020 • 34:44

How To Become Your Own Boss with Guy Raz

How To Become Your Own Boss with Guy Raz

Mitchell is a physical therapy student who dreams of revolutionizing the industry. What if physical therapists and their patients weren’t so constrained by insurance companies? His classmates and professors think he’s crazy, but Mitchell thinks disrupting the status quo could help a lot of people—if only he knew how to get started. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Guy Raz, the host of NPR’s How I Built This and author of the new book of the same title, to share what he’s learned

Aug 25, 2020 • 36:51

How To! Presents: "Cheat Sheet"

How To! Presents: "Cheat Sheet"

Expert tips for navigating a most unusual back-to-school season. A special three-part series coming September 1st! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aug 21, 2020 • 2:10

How To Confront a Crazy Neighbor with Tig Notaro

How To Confront a Crazy Neighbor with Tig Notaro

The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn’t think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it’s all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of How To!, we turn to stand-up comedian Tig Notaro, a cancer survivor and host of the new adv

Aug 11, 2020 • 33:24

How To Get That Promotion You Deserve

How To Get That Promotion You Deserve

Johnny is worried about being stuck in the same job forever. He’s been trying to climb the corporate ladder of his software company for years but has had little success. He knows he deserves a promotion, but he doesn’t want to be pushy, especially during a pandemic. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Alex Carter, author of Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything, to help Johnny assert himself and convince his higher-ups that promoting him would, in fact, benefit everyone a

Jul 28, 2020 • 33:27

How To Survive a Shark Attack

How To Survive a Shark Attack

David was in the ocean in Hawaii when the unthinkable happened—a shark attacked him and bit off his leg. “I don’t think you’re gonna make it,” a medic told the 25-year-old on the helicopter ride to the hospital. But David did make it, and soon he learned that surviving the shark wasn’t the hardest part—it was what came after. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, psychiatrist and author of The Body Keeps the Score, to help David understand and deal with the la

Jul 14, 2020 • 30:34

Bonus Episode - 'Hello Monday' with Jessi Hempel

Bonus Episode - 'Hello Monday' with Jessi Hempel

This bonus episode features Charles's recent appearance on the podcast Hello Monday, where host Jessi Hempel discusses the relationship between work and meaning. Charles tells the story of his experience attending Harvard Business School and all that followed after. It turns out that a paycheck - even a fat one - doesn’t buy a meaningful life. Charles and Jessi dig deep on the perks and pitfalls of business school, point up the importance of perseverance, outline the space between a job

Jul 7, 2020 • 29:30

How To Write a Bestseller

How To Write a Bestseller

Lauren already knows the plot of her bestselling novel—the problem is she hasn’t written a word. Paralyzed by self-criticism and an earlier rejection, this former English major has spent years journaling instead of attempting the scary, difficult work of creative writing. On this episode of How To!, we turn to writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner, whose debut novel Fleishman Is in Trouble, was one of the hottest books of the year. Can she help Lauren finally put pen to paper? The first thing La

Jun 30, 2020 • 32:38

How To Fight Racism in Your Town

How To Fight Racism in Your Town

Chris has always considered himself “on the right side of things,” but as Black Lives Matter protests sweep across the country, he’s starting to realize he needs to do a lot more. As a white man living in Austin, Texas, he says he has a responsibility to educate himself and make real change—but where to start? On this episode of How To!, we bring in Ijeoma Oluo, author of So You Want to Talk About Race, to walk Chris through some tangible steps he can take to harness this moment. Start

Jun 23, 2020 • 28:27

How To Stand Up for Your Kid When Society Won’t

How To Stand Up for Your Kid When Society Won’t

Karin always thought of herself as the mom of two boys—that is, until last year when her oldest child told her they were nonbinary, meaning they don’t identify as either male or female. Karin loves her kid deeply, but she’s struggling to get used to their new name and pronouns, especially because her town—and husband—aren’t very accepting. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Lisa DelCol, a fellow mom of a nonbinary child and former president of PFLAG Oklahoma City, to help Karin com

Jun 16, 2020 • 30:29

How To Walk Away from an Impossible Parent

How To Walk Away from an Impossible Parent

When Sydney’s dad texted her, “Do me a favor and lose my number,” she was crushed. At 27, Sydney has always had a rocky relationship with her dad, but she held out hope he could still be a part of her life. Now she’s starting to think it’s a lost cause. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Joshua Coleman, a psychologist and author of the upcoming book Rules of Estrangement, who had his own yearslong standoff with his daughter. Before Sydney figures out if she should reconcile with he

Jun 9, 2020 • 31:24

How To Find a New Career Before it's Too Late

How To Find a New Career Before it's Too Late

Donny is ready to leave the restaurant industry once and for all. As a recovering alcoholic, he was already looking for a new career before COVID-19 upended his life. But at 38 years old, Donny has held 30 different jobs, and without a bachelor’s degree, he worries that he doesn’t have what employers are looking for. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Jessi Hempel, host of the LinkedIn podcast Hello Monday, to help Donny kickstart a new career...during a pandemic. According to Jess

Jun 2, 2020 • 33:54

How To Get a Stubborn Parent to Listen

How To Get a Stubborn Parent to Listen

Alan’s 86-year-old dad will not stop driving—even after an incident where he drove off the road and totaled his car. Feeling guilty and worried, Alan has tried to convince his dad to hand over the keys, even enlisting the support of his father’s doctor, but everything Alan does seems to backfire. In this episode of How To!, Saturday Night Live comedian Jim Breuer shares his own experience dealing with a curmudgeonly father as chronicled in the documentary More Than Me. Jim says to reach

May 26, 2020 • 32:24

How To Say the Right Thing at the Worst Time

How To Say the Right Thing at the Worst Time

Ann’s sister just lost her husband and Ann doesn’t know how to console her. Ann lives in a different state and, having experienced loss herself, knows saying the wrong thing can only add to the hurt. What can Ann do from a distance to make her sister feel better? In this episode of How To!, Megan Devine, a psychotherapist and author of It’s OK That You’re Not OK, says first of all don’t try to cheer them up. Simply acknowledge their pain. Megan learned this the hard way after the sudden

May 19, 2020 • 33:26

How To Lose 155 Pounds Happily

How To Lose 155 Pounds Happily

Ashley thought by now she’d be on top of the world. Once severely overweight, Ashley lost 155 pounds and recently ran her first half-marathon. But when she looks in the mirror all she sees are the imperfections. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Brittany O’Neill, the real-life inspiration for the hit movie Brittany Runs a Marathon. Having undergone a major transformation herself, Brittany knows what it’s like to feel unhappy after you’ve crossed the finish line. Constant self-impr

May 12, 2020 • 34:14

How To Talk to Strangers

How To Talk to Strangers

Every other Friday, Amy’s calendar reminds her to make the rounds of her office and say “hello” to her colleagues. As an introvert, Amy deeply struggles with small talk, but as a manager of 55 people she’s been told she needs to be more approachable. In this episode of How To!, Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, helps Amy learn how to use her reserved nature to her advantage. Whether you’re anxious about networking at conferences or wondering

May 5, 2020 • 32:55

How To Actually Enjoy Working from Home

How To Actually Enjoy Working from Home

Joanna really misses her office. Taking Zoom calls from the kitchen in her dimly lit Brooklyn apartment doesn’t compare to her bright, open office filled with friendly coworkers. In this episode of How To!, Ben Waber, an organizational scientist, co-founder of Humanyze, and author of People Analytics, tells us how to use our home office to our advantage. It’s easy to spend all day chained to your computer, but Ben says we need to find ways to take breaks and foster human interaction. Af

Apr 28, 2020 • 33:14

How To Save the Planet (And Still Use a Plastic Straw)

How To Save the Planet (And Still Use a Plastic Straw)

Caleb tries to be good to the planet by recycling, biking to work and living a minimalist lifestyle in his small Ohio town. But he still feels guilty about using disposable diapers and buying a minivan for his growing family. How can he fight climate change without driving himself crazy? In this episode of How To!, Emma Marris, an environmental writer and author of Rambunctious Garden, warns us not to fall into the trap of individual guilt. In other words, don’t feel too bad about using that pla

Apr 21, 2020 • 33:50

How To Stop Procrastinating

How To Stop Procrastinating

Marie trains dogs for a living, but she’s struggling to teach herself a new trick—overcoming procrastination. For a year, she’s been ready to launch a new dog training app....just as soon as she makes the training videos for it. The delay is hurting business so why can’t she cross this task off her to-do list? In this episode of How To!, Dan Ariely, professor at Duke University and author of Predictably Irrational, shares some procrastination tips that got him through a tough time in hi

Apr 14, 2020 • 33:45

Quarantine Q&A: Masks

Quarantine Q&A: Masks

Margit from Denver, Colorado writes in with a question about how to encourage people to wear masks to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. Charles offers advice on how to incentivize people to form new habits, and draws lessons from past efforts to change behavior during World War II. What are your toughest challenges during the pandemic? And what have you found is working for you? Leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We’re collecting your problems and solutions for our recurring Quarantine Q

Apr 7, 2020 • 8:24

How To Tame a Chaotic Household

How To Tame a Chaotic Household

Sarah feels like she’s drowning in the clutter of her tiny Brooklyn apartment where she lives with a messy husband and two-year-old daughter. Now that her family is under quarantine together, the chaos seems destined to only get worse. In this episode of How To!, Bruce Feiler, author of The Secrets of Happy Families, drops by to give Sarah a home makeover. But Bruce has more than a Marie Kondo-style cleanup in mind. Instead, he suggests that Sarah first declutter her mind and then call

Mar 31, 2020 • 34:48

How To Not Go Crazy Under Quarantine

How To Not Go Crazy Under Quarantine

This week, we’re struggling with the same problem as our listeners: self-quarantine. As news of the coronavirus pandemic intensifies, how do we stay sane while staying home? How do we reduce stress and remain healthy while juggling remote work and rambunctious kids? In this episode of How To!, we bring in Celeste Headlee, author of Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving. Long before the pandemic, Headlee spent a lot of time thinking about how to slow

Mar 24, 2020 • 32:21

How To Forgive the Unforgivable

How To Forgive the Unforgivable

For years Claire has been holding on to a terrible family secret: Her mom physically abused Claire’s brother when he was young. How could her mom have done that? Now, over a decade later, both Claire’s mother and brother have passed away, but Claire still grapples daily with feelings of anger and deep resentment toward her mom. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Reverend Mpho Tutu van Furth, the daughter of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and author of The Book of Forgiving. Mpho struggled

Mar 17, 2020 • 32:21

How To Find Your First Kiss at 38

How To Find Your First Kiss at 38

Sharon is 38 and never been kissed. This, as she acknowledges, is “a bit weird.” As a nurse who loves ballroom dancing, Sharon is smart, funny, and attractive. At the same time, she’s deeply religious and has been waiting so long for the perfect man she worries that she’ll never find “The One.” In this episode of How To!, we bring in one of New York City’s finest matchmakers, Lisa Clampitt, for some tough love. Lisa believes Sharon has a lot going for her, but in order to find her first

Mar 10, 2020 • 33:56

How To Get Your Mom to Accept You

How To Get Your Mom to Accept You

When Hema first realized she was gay a few years ago after immigrating to the U.S., she knew she had to tell her mom. But the conversation didn’t go well. Hema’s mom lives in India and is convinced being gay is a Western phenomenon. So how does Hema help her mom accept her for who she is? In this episode of How To!, we bring in Sonali Gulati, a professor, filmmaker and queer rights activist who made a documentary about the parents of LGBTQ people in India. Drawing from her own personal

Mar 3, 2020 • 31:51

How To Vote for the Next President

How To Vote for the Next President

Anthony is that rarest of things in American politics—a swing voter who is up for grabs in 2020. Caught between his Republican voting history and his current dislike of President Trump, Anthony is now registered as an Independent. But does he follow his head or his heart? In this episode of How To!, we bring in veteran political advisors David Axelrod, chief strategist for Barack Obama’s presidential campaigns, and Mike Murphy, a Republican consultant, who co-host the podcast Hacks on T

Feb 25, 2020 • 34:20

How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song with Ben Folds

How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song with Ben Folds

Lorenzo is a dental student with big dreams—of becoming a rock star. Lorenzo plays a mean guitar at open mic night, but there’s one thing holding him back: He doesn’t know how to write his own songs. In this episode of How To!, we bring in master songwriter Ben Folds, former frontman of Ben Folds Five, and author of A Dream About Lightning Bugs: A Life of Music and Cheap Lessons. Many of those lessons are about how anyone can unlock their creativity. Ben breaks down his own music, and t

Feb 18, 2020 • 33:31

How To Convince People to Give You Money

How To Convince People to Give You Money

Shannon runs a nonprofit in Aspen, Colorado — a place filled with wealthy donors, but also stiff competition. With nearly 500 nonprofits vying for money, how does Shannon help her organization stick out? Some of the best advice may come from an unlikely source: con artists. In this episode of How To!, Maria Konnikova, author of The Confidence Game, shares con artists’ surprisingly similar tricks of the trade: Identify your mark, listen carefully, then tell them a story they want to hear

Feb 11, 2020 • 32:39

How To Protect Yourself Against the Coronavirus

How To Protect Yourself Against the Coronavirus

The coronavirus outbreak in China is causing panic worldwide. The World Health Organization has declared it a global health emergency and all we hear about are doubling infection rates, massive quarantines, and drugstores running out of masks. In this episode of How To!, we ask Dr. Elisabeth Rosenthal, former New York Times reporter and author of An American Sickness, how she and her family survived the previous SARS epidemic in Beijing. We also revisit our conversation with Dr. Tom Ing

Feb 4, 2020 • 28:02

How To Put Your Wife's Career First

How To Put Your Wife's Career First

Andy would do anything for his girlfriend Cassie. Well, almost anything. As Cassie looks to move away for vet school, Andy has to decide if he’s going with her, leaving his job, family and friends, and two bands behind in Austin, TX. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Rachel Hollis, author of Girl, Wash Your Face and her husband Dave, author of Get Out of Your Own Way. The Hollises have a lot of experience navigating this question, because for most of their marriage, Dave’s job as a Disney

Jan 28, 2020 • 31:01

How To Kick a Meth Habit

How To Kick a Meth Habit

Jason has been addicted to meth for the past 15 years, which is not uncommon in his small Illinois town. Every time Jason stopped using he would relapse, until last year when the state took custody of his two kids. Since then he’s sobered up, but is worried about making it last. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Fred Muench, a clinical psychologist and recovering heroin addict who is now the president of Center on Addiction/Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. Muench knows how hard it

Jan 21, 2020 • 31:38

How To Rob a Bank

How To Rob a Bank

Joe Loya robbed more than 30 banks during an 18-month span before going to jail. Charles wants to rob one bank on a Saturday afternoon, and get away scot-free. Can Joe teach Charles the tricks of the trade? Or will he shatter his dreams, and a few stereotypes along the way? Also, is it a good idea to carry a microphone while attempting a robbery?Do you have a burning question or a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com.Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-

Jan 14, 2020 • 33:40

How To Propose (to a Man)

How To Propose (to a Man)

Once upon a time, Ashley met a man and fell in love. Now, she’s ready to get down on one knee and pop the question. But with so few women proposing to men, she’s not sure how to go about it. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Caroline Kitchener, staff writer for The Washington Post’s The Lily, to share her own unlikely proposal story. She tells Ashley not to worry about stealing a man’s thunder. As for planning the perfect engagement, forget flash mobs and diamond rings — Kitchener

Jan 7, 2020 • 28:11

How To Make Your New Year's Resolutions Stick

How To Make Your New Year's Resolutions Stick

How To! gave dozens of people advice this year about solving their problems. Now, we track a few of them down to see how our experts’ suggestions transformed their lives. We follow up with an actor trying to get buff to play a superhero, a bachelor hoping to cook one perfect meal, a therapist who can’t fall asleep, an American expat who can’t decide where to live and a former cop who suffers anxiety attacks. We discover a bunch of useful tips for achieving change that sticks — just in t

Dec 31, 2019 • 32:41

How To Give a REALLY Big Gift

How To Give a REALLY Big Gift

Mary’s mother needs a new kidney — as long as it doesn’t come from Mary. What’s a daughter to do? In this episode of How To!, Mary hears from Larissa MacFarquhar, author of a book on extreme altruism, to learn how to convince ourselves — and others — to do the most generous things. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. (This episode originally aired on July 30, 2019) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dec 24, 2019 • 34:51

How To Remember Everything

How To Remember Everything

Jessica is only 26, but says her memory is ‘worse than my mother’s.’ She forgets friends’ birthdays, important details at work and worries that life is passing her by. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Joshua Foer, a former U.S.A. Memory Champion who wrote Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything, to help Jessica train her brain. Josh says you don’t have to be a memory champion to have a superhuman ability to remember — you just have to pay attentio

Dec 17, 2019 • 33:17

How To Sleep

How To Sleep

Ben aka ‘Sleepless in San Francisco’ hasn’t been able to get a good night’s rest for over a decade. He’s tried noise machines, medication, vodka, even eating cheese -- but nothing has worked. It’s harming his health, his career and his dating life. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Andy Puddicombe, a former Buddhist monk and co-founder of the meditation app Headspace, to help Ben hit the hay. Andy’s first tip to get more sleep at night? Start with ten minutes of meditation in the

Dec 10, 2019 • 30:15

How To Get Your Kid To Finally Grow Up

How To Get Your Kid To Finally Grow Up

Owen is about to graduate from high school and has no idea what he wants to do next. Owen doesn’t seem worried, but his mom, Lisa, is freaking out. In this episode of How To!, we get help from Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Stanford dean and author of How to Raise an Adult. Julie regrets dragging her own son off to college before he was ready. Pushing your child into adulthood, she says, means asking the right questions — and then getting out of the way.Do you have a burning question or a

Dec 3, 2019 • 29:55

How To Cook One Perfect Meal

How To Cook One Perfect Meal

Jonny is a 26-year-old bachelor whose cooking often leads to heartache (and for one ex-girlfriend, a stomachache). Jonny admits he’s a klutz in the kitchen, so we hooked him up with Sam Sifton, cookbook raconteur and head of the New York Times’ Cooking section, to see if we can teach our lovelorn millennial to cook one perfect meal. Is romantic bliss just a well-browned chicken thigh away?(This episode first aired on August 13, 2019)Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podc

Nov 26, 2019 • 35:12

How To Win At Online Dating

How To Win At Online Dating

Traci is a single, professional woman looking for love. She builds furniture in her spare time, enjoys dancing and can’t believe she has to devote an hour each day to swiping through photos and sending flirty texts. Traci’s quest for romance is made harder by the fact that, as a black woman, she has to put up with more nonsense than usual. In this episode of How To! we ask Thirst Aid Kit hosts Nichole Perkins and Bim Adewunmi to share their insights on modern desire. They revamp Traci’s

Nov 19, 2019 • 31:08

How To Perform Under Pressure

How To Perform Under Pressure

Mike’s dream job of playing bass in a Chicago orchestra is within reach — if only he can conquer his nerves and master the audition. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Dr. Don Greene, a peak performance psychologist who’s worked with Wall Street traders and Olympic athletes, to see if he can help Mike perform his best under the spotlight. The secret? Jumping jacks, extra sleep, and watching reruns of The Office.Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on

Nov 12, 2019 • 33:26

How To Withstand Pain

How To Withstand Pain

Sophie is a typical mom … who runs ultramarathons in her spare time. She’s pretty tough but an upcoming 268-mile race across the loneliest parts of England is freaking her out. In this episode of How To! we turned to Wim Hof, aka “The Iceman” for advice. Because when you are worried about pain, you should definitely consult a Dutch extreme athlete who sits in freezing water for fun. (Really!)(This episode first aired on July 30, 2019)Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free pod

Nov 5, 2019 • 33:49

How To Not Be Scared

How To Not Be Scared

Becca is 6-feet tall, bold and strong-willed. She’s also easily startled and paralyzed by fear — even a children’s haunted house can reduce her to tears. In this episode of How To!, we bring in sociologist Margee Kerr, author of Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear, to give us the lowdown on surviving scary situations. Can making fear more fun help Becca overcome her startle reflex in time for Halloween?Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on

Oct 29, 2019 • 30:34

How To Fire Your Daughter

How To Fire Your Daughter

Kyle wants to sell his 50-year old family insurance business so he can finally retire. But a troublesome employee is holding him back: his daughter. In this episode of How To!, Harvard Business School professor Christina Wing tries to help Kyle figure out how to sell his company without sabotaging their relationship. But if you have to fire your daughter, is it ever strictly business?Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad c

Oct 22, 2019 • 31:47

How To Put Down Your Phone

How To Put Down Your Phone

How many times have you looked at your phone so far today? Do you feel like you’re choosing to look, or automatically craving it when you ought to be enjoying life? In this episode of How To! we get advice from Jia Tolentino, New Yorker writer and author of Trick Mirror, who spends hours on the phone every day for her job. And Cal Newport, author of Digital Minimalism, whose 30-day ‘digital declutter’ helps us think more deeply, be more present, and control our devices so they don’t con

Oct 15, 2019 • 27:58

How To Be Funny

How To Be Funny

How do you learn to tell the perfect joke? In this episode of How To! A pastor from Oklahoma wants to spice up his sermons from the pulpit. So we introduce him to Gary Gulman, a New York standup comedian who makes jokes about his clinical depression in the new HBO comedy special The Great Depresh. The lesson? “Man plans, and God laughs.” But only if you nail the delivery. (This episode first aired on July 30, 2019)Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up

Oct 8, 2019 • 31:28

How To Decide Whether To Have a Baby

How To Decide Whether To Have a Baby

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oct 1, 2019 • 32:06

How To Go On a Family Adventure

How To Go On a Family Adventure

Can a family travel around the world for a year without killing each other? Dan Kois spent a year in New Zealand, The Netherlands, Costa Rica and Kansas with his wife Alia and their two young daughters, learning how other cultures parent. The result is How to Be A Family: The Year I Dragged My Kids Around the World. In this episode of How To! we learn the secret to traveling together for that long. And what do you do when everyone is tired and whiny and wants to go home? Slate Plus members get

Sep 24, 2019 • 31:33

How To Look Like a Superhero

How To Look Like a Superhero

How did Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman get so buff to play Deadpool and Wolverine? An up-and-coming Hollywood actor wants to know so he can land his own superhero role. In this episode of How To! we turn to Reynolds’ and Jackman’s trainer, Don Saladino, who says the key to six-pack abs and bulging biceps is not what you think. In fact, it’s something we can all do.Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaph

Sep 17, 2019 • 30:53

How To Stress Your Kid the Right Way

How To Stress Your Kid the Right Way

Is there a right way to let kids struggle and fail? How do you raise resilient children? And most important, when should you help out, and when should you chill out? In this episode of How To! we ask Dr. Wendy Mogel, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee to advise a Portland, Oregon couple who worry about their son getting wet in a squirt gun fight.Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoi

Sep 10, 2019 • 29:57

How To Survive a Pandemic

How To Survive a Pandemic

Have you ever wondered how you would fare in the apocalypse? Perhaps you have envisioned yourself, shotgun loaded, prepared to mete out kindhearted justice and tough-love defense in equal measure. It turns out, though, that when the next pandemic comes, it might not be exactly like the movies. In this episode of How To! we get tips from a public health expert at Johns Hopkins — and a member of the Zombie Squad. Their advice isn’t quite the same. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and

Sep 3, 2019 • 30:12

How To Stop Being Anxious

How To Stop Being Anxious

Matt has anxiety attacks. Every day. When he gets too many texts, when he starts worrying about his family, when the unexpected occurs: that’s when the sweat starts and his mind begins racing. He’s a strong guy — he was a cop — but he thinks today’s problem is connected to a tragic event in the past, and he doesn’t know what to do. In this episode of How To! we introduce him to Dr. Ben Michaelis, a clinical psychologist and habit expert, to help Matt figure out what’s triggering his anxiety atta

Aug 27, 2019 • 29:53

How To Uproot Your Life

How To Uproot Your Life

A decade after Elizabeth’s family left the U.S. to live in Portugal, they’re wondering if it’s time to move back. In this episode of How To! we turn to professional poker player, Annie Duke, who treats every decision like it’s a bet. She says think of each choice as a wager on your future self. But how do you go all in when you’re uncertain about the odds? Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/a

Aug 20, 2019 • 28:30

How To Cook One Perfect Meal

How To Cook One Perfect Meal

Jonny is a 26 year-old bachelor whose cooking often leads to heartache (and for one ex-girlfriend, a stomach ache). Jonny admits he’s a klutz in the kitchen, so we hooked him up with Sam Sifton, cookbook raconteur and head of the New York Times’s Cooking section. In this episode of How To! we see if we can teach our love-lorn Millennial to cook one perfect meal. Is romantic bliss just a well-browned chicken thigh away? (Recipe included!)Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free

Aug 13, 2019 • 32:44

How To Fire a Bad Employee

How To Fire a Bad Employee

Gabe wants to fire a bad employee, but still be a good boss. In this episode of How To! we turn to Stanford professor of management science, Bob Sutton (The No Asshole Rule and Good Boss, Bad Boss) for help. First, Sutton says, Gabe has to act like a boss, not a friend. Then he should write a letter, focus on compassion and hide the box of tissues.Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aug 6, 2019 • 29:04

How To Give Your Mom a Kidney

How To Give Your Mom a Kidney

Mary’s mother needs a new kidney — as long as it doesn’t come from Mary. What’s a good daughter to do? In this episode of How To! Mary hears from Larissa MacFarquhar, author of a book on extreme altruism, to learn how to convince ourselves - and others - to do the most generous things.Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jul 30, 2019 • 30:15

How To Withstand Pain

How To Withstand Pain

Sophie Power once breastfed her newborn during an ultramarathon, but an upcoming 268-mile race across a remote stretch of Great Britain is freaking her out. In this episode of How To! we turn to Wim Hof, aka “The Iceman,” for advice. Because when you are worried about pain, you should definitely consult a Dutch extreme athlete who sits in freezing water for fun. (Really!)Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

Jul 30, 2019 • 30:36

How To Rob a Bank

How To Rob a Bank

Joe Loya robbed over 30 banks during an 18-month span before going to jail. In this episode of How To! Charles wants to rob one bank on a Saturday afternoon, and get away scot-free. Can Joe teach Charles the tricks of the trade? Or will he shatter his dreams, and a few stereotypes along the way? Also, is it a good idea to carry a microphone while attempting a robbery? Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.f

Jul 30, 2019 • 31:14

How To Be Funny

How To Be Funny

How do you learn to tell the perfect joke? In this episode of How To! a pastor from Oklahoma wants to spice up his sermons. So we introduce him to Gary Gulman, a New York standup comedian who makes jokes about his clinical depression. The lesson? “Man plans, and God laughs.” But only if you nail the delivery.Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jul 30, 2019 • 28:08

Introducing How To!

Introducing How To!

What if Dear Abby was an investigative reporter? Each week, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit) takes on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, finds the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask, but couldn’t. Until now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 21, 2019 • 3:16

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