Hold Me Back: Son and Father Change the Conversation
Aidan and Ash ElDifrawi
Gen X and Gen Z live together, but we occupy different worlds. As the generational gap widens and conventional wisdom on parenting and education fails, is it even possible to understand one another? In this unique son-and-father podcast, Aidan and Ash ElDifrawi hash out a new contract between generations, forcing them to violate comfort zones on today’s most charged topics: social media and screen time, bullying and loneliness, inequality and privilege, sex and drugs, education and etiquette, even politics, religion, and sports. All to uncover a path toward greater harmony and a hopeful future for the next generation
Launching: What You Need to Know About Freshman Year at College
“Never take a class before 9:30…always have peanut butter and pretzels in your room…get your flu shot…you’ll need more ramen than condoms…you fail in silence…call your parents…90% of bad decisions will happen during O-week…anchor your day in routines...don’t piss off your roommate.” These are just a few of the observations Aidan shares with his dad, Ash, from his first year in college in order to separate “myth” from “reality” of what to expect during freshman year. Meanwhile, Ash tries to hold
Boomer Training: A Gen Z Lesson in Social Media Lingo
A growing part of the generational divide is an emerging and unexpected language barrier. This phenomenon is a byproduct of the explosion in social media platforms, which seem to have created a new Gen Z dialect - particularly on TikTok. To help bridge this gap, Aidan recruited his sister Allison to take Ash through basic training on social media terminology in hopes he wouldn’t embarrass himself at work and with friends. The jury is still out, so Aidan and Ally want complete deniability. You be
Resilience: Blessing or Curse?
Over the last decade, the concept of resilience has been synonymous with raising healthy kids. But what if we're wrong? What if one person's life journey shined a bright light on how resilience can function in society in a way that is far from healthy? Ash and Aidan welcome onto the show Emi Nietfeld - journalist, mental health advocate, and author of the highly acclaimed book, “Acceptance: A Memoir.” From homeless to Harvard, psychiatric wards to Google, Emi’s memoir - which she started writing
Sex
Ash and Aidan tackle the topic every teenager can't wait to discuss with their parents: sex. In the spirit of not holding back, the boys openly and honestly discuss why, how, what, and when parents should discuss the topic of sex with their children. Aidan and Ash also share research most will find surprising, particularly when it comes to teens’ sexual activity and the pros and cons of dating in high school. They also supply 10 useful tips for discussing this delicate topic with your teen. The
Pornography
Season 4 kicks off with the topic Aidan has successfully avoided for 3 seasons: dating, relationships, and sex. The first of this 2-part series focuses on how hypersexualized media and the ease of access to explicit pornography is affecting tween and teen psychological development, as well as Gen Z’s attitude towards sex and intimacy. The episode features an extensive interview with Dr. Gail Dines, a widely recognized author and scholar on the topic of pornography. Dr. Dines has been researching
Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion
Aidan and Ash end the year - and Season 3 - with a topic that lies at the center of changing the conversation: Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DE&I). After discussing the role Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) and affirmative action play within DE&I, Ash and Aidan welcome to the show one of the country's leading minds in DE&I, Lareina Yee. Lareina is a senior partner for the most prestigious consulting firm in the world, where she also served as their first Diversity and Inclusion Officer. La
One Small Step across a Large Divide
How do you change the world? One conversation at a time, according to the CEO of StoryCorps, Sandra Clark. Clark joins Aidan and Ash for an illuminating discussion on how StoryCorps' program, One Small Step (OSS), is trying to bridge the nation's growing divide in an effort to fend off a growing “culture of contempt” in the United States. Clark shares how the program works, the science behind it, whether it’s having the desired impact, and how we can all get involved. Aidan and Ash also discuss
Real-Money Gaming, Game Theory, Negotiating, and Poker Strategy
What started as an episode on teen gambling took a turn into a fascinating conversation with the polymathic Dan Singer, one of the world's leading experts on the businesses of online gaming, casinos, sportsbooks, daily fantasy sports, poker, and eSports. In addition to teaching Game Theory in Negotiations at Yale, Dan leads the Global Sports and Gaming Practice for the largest and most well-known strategy consulting firm in the world - where he serves major leagues and gaming companies. Dan is a
Reimagining Diversity
Aidan and Ash tackle the topic of diversity in an interview with Eboo Patel. Eboo is the Founder and President of Interfaith America - the leading interfaith organization in the United States - and was named "one of America's best leaders" by U.S. News and World Report. He served on President Obama’s Inaugural Faith Council and has written five books, including his recently published “We Need to Build: Fieldnotes for Diverse Democracy.” In the interview, Eboo shares how a potluck dinner is the k
Teens and Their Screens
What are adults missing about teens and their technology? Apparently, a lot! Aidan and Ash kick off their mental health series by welcoming Harvard Project Zero researchers Emily Weinstein and Carrie James to discuss their book, Behind Their Screens: What Teens Are Facing (And Adults Are Missing). Drawing on perspectives from 3,500 teens, Weinstein and James bring stories and data together for a powerful reframe of what teens are up against – and what teens need adults to understand. Based on th
A Look Inside the College Admissions Process
Just when Aidan and Ash thought they had shared everything there is to know about the college admissions process, they found out they had an opportunity to interview one of the brightest minds in the field. In this episode, they welcome on Jeff Selingo, a New York Times bestselling author of three books who has written about higher education for more than two decades. His latest book, Who Gets In and Why: A Year Inside College Admissions, was named among the 100 Notable Books of the year by the
Take Your Gen-Z’er to Work Day
Ash has spent so much time in Gen Z's world, Aidan felt it was time to return the favor. Over the summer, Aidan infiltrated several work environments during his internships and exploratory visits - and he had some things to say! In fact, he made a Top 10 list of observations to share. From work culture to snacks to meetings to commutes to clean bathrooms, Aidan tells all. Who was more convincing: Aidan or Ash? Vote at HoldMeBack.com
Dartmouth: Interview with Lee Coffin, Vice Provost for Enrollment and Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid
Aidan and Ash continue the College Admission Series (CAS) as they welcome Lee Coffin, Vice Provost for Enrollment and Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid at Dartmouth College. Prior to joining the Dartmouth administration in 2016, he served as Dean of Undergraduate Admissions at Tufts University from 2003-2016 and Dean of Admission at Connecticut College from 1995-2001. He also hosts two podcasts: Admissions Beat and The Search. In this thought-provoking interview, hear Mr. Coffin discuss what
College Essays and Why Applying to College Should Be Stress-Free
Aidan and Ash talk all things college essays with one of the most enigmatic thought leaders in Silicon Valley, Umair Khan. Khan is a successful entrepreneur, tech investor, restaurateur, and the author of the book College Application Hacked - which focuses on writing killer personal statements and why college applications should be stress-free. He’s also a visiting professor at UC Berkeley where he teaches entrepreneurship. A two-time MIT graduate, Khan has written essays that have gotten him in
Drinking
Aidan and Ash take on the charged topic of drinking and propose a new model for how adults and teens should navigate discussions on alcohol consumption. In addition to revealing eye-opening research, they share their findings from a focus group with several Gen Z “drinkers'' and their parents. Aidan and Ash debate a wide range of topics including why the current parent-child dialogue and preventive programs on drinking are woefully inadequate, common misconceptions about teen drinking, the “real
Political Correctness, Part 2
In the final part of the series, Aidan and Ash break down the 5 problems that plague political correctness in America. They explore the fascinating findings from the Hidden Tribes research, discuss the role of social media in exacerbating the tension, assess the critical role the laws of psychology and sociology play in the divide, and deduce why the country continues to politicize and weaponize the most charged social issues. In the end, Aidan and Ash each share the 5 “wishes” they believe woul
Father’s Day Special: Top 10 Movies That Connect Us
Can movies help bridge the generational divide? Absolutely! In this Father's Day special episode, the guys debate which movies bridge the generational divide. Their search went beyond just feel good stories or inspirational biopics, but movies that help generations connect in important and meaningful ways. Aidan and Ash each propose their movie picks one by one, and openly debate which movies make the final Top 10. From comedies to dramas, recent Oscar winners to old classics, the poignant to th
Political Correctness, Part 1
In the first of this two-part series, Aidan and Ash navigate the most controversial topic in America: Political Correctness. In part one, they argue there are five problems that underpin the growing divisiveness in America resulting from political correctness. After defining each problem, Ash and Aidan draw straws and debate the pros and cons of political correctness in society today. Even with the fear of being “canceled” looming large, the boys battle their respective positions valiantly, and
A Letter From My Father
My father recently had a tragic loss in his life. His older brother suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. As his son, I wanted to find a way to bring him some comfort in his greatest time of sorrow. This episode is my gift to him with the hope it brings him even the smallest amount of peace, solace, and love
TCU: Interview with Heath Einstein, Dean of Admission
Aidan and Ash wrap up the first installment of the College Admission Series (CAS) on a high note as they welcome on Heath Einstein, Dean of Admission at Texas Christian University (TCU). Mr. Einstein is in his tenth year at TCU, having spent the prior eight years as a college counselor at the most prestigious independent schools in New York and Texas. In this fascinating interview, Mr. Einstein discusses how data and analytics can explain the recent admission trends, and how TCU uses marketing a
Cornell University: Interview with Jonathon Burdick, Vice Provost for Enrollment
Aidan and Ash discuss "everything admissions" with Jonathan Burdick, a 35-year veteran in the field, and one of the most innovative and knowledgeable enrollment leaders in the country. Mr. Burdick leads Cornell's 15 colleges and school offices of admissions, financial aid, and registrar. Under his watch, Cornell has expanded opportunities for all students including international enrollment, and he’s brought “innovation” to the admissions process. An erudite in every sense, Mr. Burdick doesn’t sh
Georgia Tech: Interview with Rick Clark, Director of Undergraduate Admission
Join Aidan and Ash in a lively and information-packed interview with Rick Clark, Georgia Tech's Director of Admission. Under his leadership, the Institute has exceeded every goal including advancing the academic class profile while driving geographic, gender, and ethnic diversity. Mr. Clark is also the co-author of the book, The Truth About College Admission: A Family Guide to Getting In and Staying Together. Mr. Clark brings a balanced perspective to the CAS series by sharing the admission proc
Duke University: Interview with Christoph Guttentag, Dean of Undergraduate Admissions
In this extensive and candid interview, Aidan and Ash spend time with the brilliant and dynamic leader of Duke's undergraduate admissions, Christoph Guttentag. Mr. Guttentag has been with Duke for 29 years, and served as the Dean of Undergraduate Admissions since 2006. During his tenure, the Duke student body has seen significant increases in diversity, creativity, and inclusiveness while maintaining its standards of excellence. Join Aidan and Ash in a fun, lively, and incredibly illuminating in
Shady Side Academy: Interview with Lauren Lieberman, Director of College Counseling
Aidan and Ash interview Lauren Lieberman, currently the Director of College Counseling at Shady Side Academy and former Assistant Director of Admissions at The University of Chicago. Lauren has spent two decades deep in the trenches, helping thousands of families navigate the college admissions process. As a result, Lauren is a highly respected figure in the national landscape of college admissions. Having been on both sides of the fence, Lauren shares a unique perspective that’s both compassion
The College Admission Series (CAS): Introduction
The college admissions process has become increasingly filled with uncertainty and stress for millions of families. In this multi-part series, Aidan and Ash interview the admission leaders of several renowned universities in an effort to demystify the admissions process so families can navigate through it in a healthy and rewarding manner. This episode reveals eye-opening data and sets the context for upcoming interviews with admission leaders from Cornell, Duke, Georgia Tech, TCU, and a nationa
Social Media
Social Media is no longer just a "thing teens are into" - it's become the primary portal into Gen Z's lives, and the metaverse in which they experience every aspect of their world. Aidan and Ash explore the dangers and wonders of these social networks, including how parents and teens should approach them differently, in a candid interview with Carrie Kerpen, a bestselling author and CEO of the most prominent social media consultancy in the country. They also welcome a member of their own family,
Grades
In this immensely emotional and raw episode, Ash and Aidan openly and honestly tackle a topic that's caused turmoil in their own household, and is a daily dinner table topic for millions of families - Grades. Ash and Aidan candidly share their struggles and failures in hopes that other families can benefit from their experiences. In doing so, they openly skewer the sensibility of nearly every commonly held convention on grades, and propose a robust set of nine principles they believe can be a fr
Bonus Sports Episode: Tom Brady - Man or Machine?
Join Aidan and Ash as they take a break from debating the heady issues facing our generations, and tackle an even more important question - is Tom Brady the undisputed GOAT? During this extensive interview with his father, who's been studying Brady and the Patriots for decades, Aidan discovers that perhaps we’ve been looking at the Brady debate all wrong. How should we be looking at it? The answer might surprise you, because you’ve never heard a sports topic broken down like this before. This on
Mom’s Perspective
Is there anything harder than raising a teenager in today's world? Ash and Aidan welcome the two co-founders of Your Teen Media, a leading platform for information and advice on raising teenagers. Stephanie Silverman and Susan Borison, who've raised several teens themselves, are as insightful as they are candid and fun, which made for a lively and provocative discussion. This interview will surely raise some eyebrows because Sue and Stephanie openly and thoughtfully challenge many widely held -
Critical Thinking
In Part 1, Aidan and Ash explored the rampant spread of misinformation causing divisiveness and an erosion of trust in the world. In Part 2, they propose a way to reverse this trend, and explore how we might overcome the cause of the divisiveness - our biases and motivated reasoning - by bringing back rational dialogue and critical thinking. How? Ash and Aidan debate the nine key lessons Gen Z needs to learn in order to bring back greater harmony between and within our generations. This one is a
Battling Misinformation, with Guest Dr. Alex Lickerman, M.D.
In this two-part episode, Ash and Aidan discuss the biggest threat to Gen-Z: the erosion of critical thinking due to the digital world. They debate what's been called an "epidemic of cognitive contagion" with no end in sight. The boys explore the three biggest culprits to this epidemic: Motivated Reasoning, Tribalism, and the rampant spread of Misinformation. In Part 1 they welcome Alex Lickerman, M.D., a renowned physician and author, to discuss why healthcare is particularly vulnerable to misi
Content: Parenting Is Now Rated-R
With practically unlimited access to a world of unfiltered content, real or fiction, do parents need to fundamentally rethink how they monitor and control their children's access to content? Do they have to start over with well-established content rating systems to account for this new reality? Join Aidan and Ash as they unravel this thorny topic, share some controversial research, and discover how parents might need to reconsider their views on managing their children’s access to content to pre
Privacy
Should I be reading my teenager's texts? Why are so many children opposed to apps that monitor their location? Aidan and Ash explore a topic that's becoming increasingly challenging to navigate in the new digital age - setting appropriate boundaries when it comes to adolescent privacy “invasion.” In addition to sharing some eye-opening research, the boys propose a fundamentally new way for parents and teens to negotiate this topic. You might be surprised what developmental and family psychologis
For Love or Money
The boys welcome their first expert guest, Mark Lush, as they tackle the topic that makes the world go round - money. Aidan and Ash explore what it means to have a healthy relationship with money and whether their generations share a common perspective. Should Gen X tell their children to follow their passion or that money will buy them happiness? Is that even the right question? The research might shock you. Is there truly a “price of privilege?” And how transparent should parents be with their
Devices and Screen Time
Put that phone away! Or don't? Device usage and screen time often becomes the most contested topic between kids and parents. Aidan and Ash dive into the research and compare the findings with the realities in their own household. Hear them debate the best age to give your child a smartphone, the appropriate amount of daily screen time, the potential long-term psychological impacts, and the many false beliefs held by parents and kids alike. Who was more convincing: Aidan or Ash? Vote at HoldMeBac
Youth Sports
Is Gen X ruining youth sports for Gen Z? Aidan and Ash discuss how youth sports might be the topic that most exemplifies the growing generational divide. In this emotional and extensive episode, father and son open up to each other on a topic in which they both have many regrets and unresolved conflict. Aidan shares how the pressure he felt to perform impacted his self-esteem and mindset, while Ash reveals what was driving the expectations he was placing on Aidan. Rather than taking sides, fathe
Swearing
It's the topic that's near and dear to Aidan's heart: Swearing. Is swearing that big a deal? Find out what the research says, what his dad and other parents think, and what Aidan's friends tell him. Hear the surprising psychological benefits of swearing and when it might actually be a good thing, why it’s still considered taboo, and how swearing can affect your reputation and personal brand. Who was more convincing: Aidan or Ash? Vote at HoldMeBack.com
The Growing Generational Divide
Welcome to Hold Me Back. It's Gen Z's time, but are previous generations holding them back? In this pilot episode, meet Aidan (son) and Ash (dad) as they hammer out a new social contract between their generations, and uncover a path toward greater harmony and a more hopeful future. Hear why a divide exists between Gen Z and previous generations as they discuss eye-opening research as well as their own experiences. Also learn about what to expect on the podcast going forward