Pure Desire Podcast

Pure Desire Ministries

Boost

Boost

Your biblically based and clinically informed approach to breaking free from compulsive sexual behavior and healing from betrayal.

399 - Reintegrating Sex After Betrayal

In this episode, we tackle the challenging yet crucial topic of reintegrating sex into a marriage after betrayal. Rebecca Vander Meer and Traci Wright, two Pure Desire Clinicians, share why this is such a struggle for many couples and the common mistakes that can hinder progress. From rushing the process to overlooking emotional intimacy, we explore what couples can do to overcome these obstacles. The conversation also highlights key strategies that successful couples use—such as open communicat

Feb 25, • 1:05:46

398 - Rebuilding Marital Trust w/ Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith

In this episode, we delve into the emotional journey of couples healing from betrayal. We’re joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, relationship experts and authors, who share insights from their work on the Intimacy Pyramid—a framework designed to help couples rebuild trust, connection, and intimacy after a betrayal. We explore the different stages of healing, from honesty and emotional safety to full intimacy, and how this process varies for betraying spouses, betrayed partners, and the coupl

Feb 18, • 54:09

397 - The Deep Rooted Marriage w/ Dr. Dan Allender

In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Dan Allender, renowned author and counselor, to discuss the themes of his latest book: The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. Dan shares the inspiration behind writing it and offers powerful insights into strengthening marriages. We explore key questions such as: What does it mean to truly honor your spouse? How can couples resolve conflicts without one partner feeling submissive? What role do past wounds play in shaping our pr

Feb 11, • 52:23

396 - Rupture & Repair: Strengthening the Parent-Child Bond w/ Dr. Jake Porter

In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative concept of "rupture and repair" in parenting with expert Dr. Jake Porter. As a featured expert in the Parent Training Course, he unpacks the crucial role this process plays in building stronger, more resilient relationships between parents and children.We explore what happens when emotional ruptures occur—whether through misunderstandings, miscommunication, or outbursts—and how parents can recognize when their child feels disconnected or hurt

Feb 4, • 1:11:09

395 - Parenting In A Digital Age w/ Kristen Jenson

In this episode, we tackle one of the most pressing concerns for parents today: protecting children from the dangers of pornography. Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, shares her inspiration behind writing the book and her mission to help parents guide their young children through the complexities of online content in a way that is age-appropriate and effective.We discuss the concept of "porn-proofing" children, which was explored in Pure Desire’s new Parent Training Course,

Jan 28, • 1:03:02

394 - Educating Parents On Biblical Sexual Health

Join us as we explore the intersection of faith and sexual health education, with expert insights from Dr. Glen Maiden on how to approach teaching children about sex from a biblical perspective. As a biblical sexual health educator, Dr. Glen shares how to approach this sensitive topic with children in a way that honors faith-based values while promoting healthy, balanced views of sexuality.We discuss how to introduce sexual health teachings to children, both from a practical and scriptural stand

Jan 21, • 1:10:27

393 - Training Parents For Conversations About Sex

In today’s episode, we dive deep into one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics for parents: talking with your kids about sex. We’re joined by Rodney and Traci Wright, authors of How to Talk With Your Kids About Sex and the primary speakers in Pure Desire’s new Parent Training Course. We tackle key issues like how to address our own sexual health as parents, the challenges of today's media landscape, and how to adjust these conversations as children grow. We also discuss comm

Jan 14, • 1:03:48

392 - She Deserves Better w/ Sheila Wray Gregoire

Navigating healthy relationships with teens can feel overwhelming, especially in a culture full of conflicting messages about identity and sexuality. In this episode, we explore how to raise kids with a biblically grounded and holistic view of sexuality. Drawing from Sheila Wray Gregoire's new book, She Deserves Better, this conversation offers practical tools and transformative insights for parents, youth leaders, and anyone invested in guiding the next generation. Whether you're teaching bound

Jan 7, • 1:05:59

391 - Looking Back & Looking Ahead

Happy New Year’s Eve! In this special year-end episode, host Nick Stumbo and guest co-host Heather Kolb dive into the value of self-reflection as we close out one year and prepare for the next. Whether you’re in the middle of a recovery journey, pursuing personal growth, or simply looking for practical ways to start the new year with purpose, this episode has something for you.Nick and Heather discuss why self-reflection is vital, not just at the end of the year but throughout our lives. They ex

Dec 31, 2024 • 54:24

390 - Navigating Relational Stress During The Holidays

Resources:Full Episode on YoutubeUnwanted by Jay Stringer  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Dec 24, 2024 • 58:12

389 - Parents, Porn, and the Church w/ Sam Black (Part 8/8)

Sam Black, the author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It and the Director of Recovery Education at Covenant Eyes, joins the podcast today to wrap up an 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Sam explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyon

Dec 17, 2024 • 59:50

388 - Rebuilding Trust Together w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens (Part 7/8)

According to Beyond the Porn Phenomenon, women are 3x more likely to say porn use of a partner makes them feel that their spouse doesn’t care about them. Dr. Barbara Steffens helps break down why porn use connects so acutely to the relationship for women, shares advice you would give to create change, and why pornography use by one spouse is not a marriage issue but rather an issue that impacts and wounds the marriage. Dr. Barbara Steffens, the founding President of the Association for Partners

Dec 10, 2024 • 1:01:56

387 - How Pornography Use Impacts Marriage w/ Carol Juergensen Sheets (Part 6/8)

Carol Juergensen Sheets, better known as Carol the Coach, joins the podcast today in part 6 of our deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon. Carol helps us unpack some of the specific stats that impact relationships and gives insight into how the church can support betrayed partners. Nick, Ashley, and Carol discuss how this research can raise awareness, spark new conversations, and guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode exploration

Dec 3, 2024 • 1:00:13

386 - How The Porn Industry Secretly Preys on Women w/ Crystal Renaud Day (Part 5/8)

In part five of our deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon report, we’re joined by Crystal Renaud Day. She is the CEO and Founder of Living on Purpose, as well as the Founder and Executive Director of SheRecovery. Crystal joins the podcast today to share her insights on the new data on pornography use, its impact on young women who struggle, and how this equips the Church to be a safe place for healing. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Crystal explore how this research can guide the Church in addr

Nov 26, 2024 • 56:12

385 - The Church MUST Address This w/ Sean McDowell (Part 4/8)

In part four of our deep dive into the Beyond the Porn Phenomenon report, we’re joined by Dr. Sean McDowell to discuss the subtle dangers of denial and rationalization around pornography within Christian communities. Dr. McDowell shares insights from his years of research and experience in helping the church engage with this difficult topic. We address questions around why so many feel “comfortable” with their struggles, the vital role of recovery ministries, and how the church can create a comp

Nov 19, 2024 • 1:01:17

384 - Reclaiming Authentic Intimacy w/ Juli Slattery (Part 3/8)

Dr. Juli Slattery, a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, joins the podcast today to help kick off an 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, they explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominen

Nov 12, 2024 • 53:13

383 - How Data Leads To Change w/ Daniel Copeland (Part 2/8)

Daniel Copeland, Senior Lead Researcher of Barna Group, joins the podcast today for the second episode in our 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, they explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.Resources:Full Episo

Nov 5, 2024 • 1:02:31

382 - Beyond The Porn Phenomenon w/ David Kinnaman (Part 1/8)

David Kinnaman, CEO of Barna Group, joins the podcast today to help kick off an 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, with Nick Stumbo and Ashley Jameson, they explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing.This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.Resources:Orde

Oct 29, 2024 • 1:03:24

381 - Moving Beyond Sobriety W/ Jenna Riemersma

Jenna Riemersma is back again to explore why true healing goes beyond sobriety. This is a deep dive into the role of trauma and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy addresses underlying issues that drive compulsive behaviors. Whether you’re new to recovery or looking to deepen your healing journey, Jenna’s insights will offer fresh perspectives on understanding and embracing the parts of ourselves that carry pain and shame. Don't miss this powerful conversation on moving beyond mere behavio

Oct 22, 2024 • 1:02:26

380 - Caring For Partners Well

Jeanne Vittoni is the president of APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists) and joins the podcast to discuss the vital role of partner care in sex addiction recovery. With over 25 years of experience working with trauma survivors, Jeanne unpacks how understanding trauma symptomatology, setting up safe support systems, and getting proper training can accelerate the healing process.Jeanne shares her insights on trauma recovery for betrayed partners, why it’s important to

Oct 15, 2024 • 1:02:45

379 - The Role of Intensives in Recovery

Nick is joined by Robert Vander Meer and Matt Wenger to discuss the transformative impact of two-week intensives on sexual addiction recovery. This episode is a deep dive into the TINSA model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) exploring how intensives help uncover the "why" behind addiction and the importance of addressing both personal trauma and relational healing.Matt Wenger is the Clinical Director of Boulder Recovery in Boulder, Colorado.ResourcesFull Episode on YouTubeBoulder Recovery websi

Oct 8, 2024 • 59:28

377 - Launching Pure Desire Group: A Church Success Story

Nick and Rodney sit down with Pastor Ryan Oletzke of True Hope Church in Spokane, Washington, to discuss how to start Pure Desire groups in your church, break shame, and build a culture of honesty.Ryan shares how his church addressed sexual brokenness by launching Pure Desire groups, starting with over 200 people participating in Sexual Integrity 101. He offers practical insights on building a culture of vulnerability, lowering shame, and leading a church to find healing and freedom.This episode

Sep 24, 2024 • 55:26

376 - Reaching the Next Gen

This episode explores the challenges young people face today, including mental health issues, pornography, and the impact of growing up in the digital age.Ben Bennett, leader of the Resolution Movement, shares his experience connecting with Gen Z through social media and offering hope, freedom, and healing through the message of Christ. Join Nick Stumbo, John Begeman, and Ben as they discuss how curiosity, compassion, and authentic relationships can help guide this generation toward healthy sexu

Sep 17, 2024 • 1:04:07

375 - Facing Our Trauma Story

Today, we’re welcoming Louie Kazemier to the podcast. Louie is a longtime friend of Pure Desire and opens up about confronting childhood trauma, overcoming resistance to group therapy, and finding freedom from compulsive sexual behavior. His story is a testament to the power of vulnerability, community, and God’s grace in the healing process.Whether you’re on your own recovery journey or supporting someone else, this episode offers hope and encouragement. Tune in to hear Louie’s inspiring story

Sep 10, 2024 • 57:41

374 - 10 Mistakes When Launching Recovery Groups

Today, Nick Stumbo and Rich Moore explore 10 common mistakes churches make when launching recovery groups. They share practical advice on avoiding pitfalls like isolating or shaming language and the dangers of a quick-fix approach. This episode is essential for pastors and leaders looking to create and sustain effective, long-lasting recovery groups within their church community.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Step

Sep 3, 2024 • 54:37

378 - Intimate Deception w/ Dr. Sheri Keffer

Today’s guest, Dr. Sheri Keffer is the author of Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal, a therapist, and betrayed partner herself.Dr. Keffer shares insights on betrayal trauma, healing, and recovery.  This episode offers hope and guidance for those facing betrayal or compulsive sexual behaviors. The discussion covers the impact of sexual deception, the importance of truth-telling, and practical steps for partners to rebuild their lives.ResourcesFull Episode On YoutubeIntimate

Sep 2, 2024 • 52:36

373 - Empathy and Emotional Awareness

Today, we’re diving into a topic that is often overlooked but crucial to the healing and recovery process—empathy and emotional awareness. We’ll explore the importance of developing empathy, not just for yourself but within relationships, especially in the context of recovery from addiction and healing from betrayal. Through personal stories, practical advice, and proven tools, we’ll discuss how empathy can be a game-changer in reversing isolation, breaking addiction, and fostering deeper, healt

Aug 27, 2024 • 1:05:14

372 - Healing From Sexual Abuse w/ Marnie Ferree

In this episode, Marnie Ferree, the founder of Bethesda Workshops, courageously shares her journey of healing from sexual abuse and addiction, offering hope and practical insights for anyone on a similar path. This powerful conversation highlights the importance of understanding your story, embracing God’s redemptive power, and finding support in the healing process. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom

Aug 20, 2024 • 55:36

371 - Changing The Paradigm Around Sex In The Church

Today Nick and Rodney discuss powerful insights on how to approach the conversation around sexuality in the church with love and grace. They emphasize the importance of sharing your personal journey without shame, offering support to church leaders, and fostering a more open and healing environment.Whether you're a church leader or a congregation member, this episode provides practical advice on creating positive change in your community. Discover how to engage in meaningful conversations that l

Aug 13, 2024 • 58:14

370-How Can The Betrayed Heart Heal? w/ Barbara Steffens

God has the ability to redeem even the darkest times.Dr. Steffens takes a deep dive into the healing and recovery process following betrayal—focused mostly on the betrayed partner but also on how the betrayer can help the process. You will be encouraged and gain hope for the future! There is a proven path and essential tools for healing and growth, when we invite God to do what only He can do: REDEEM.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Tr

Aug 6, 2024 • 52:54

369-From Isolation To Collaboration w/ Nate Larkin

Recovery doesn’t have to feel like solitary confinement.As with many areas of our lives, we need others to walk alongside us, to encourage and support us. And this is especially true when it comes to our recovery and healing journey. Today we’re revisiting Nate Larkin’s session from the 2023 Pure Desire Summit to learn what it looks like to redefine recovery as a team sport. In community is where recovery happens best.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Underst

Jul 30, 2024 • 49:21

368 - Rebuilding Life After Discovery

The moment of discovery in a marriage or relationship is crushing. The exposure of sexual addiction or unfaithfulness wrecks the relationship. Is there any hope to rebuild? Should we even rebuild? On today's episode, we're joined by Traci Wright (Pure Desire Clinician). Traci knows firsthand the damage the discovery of sexual betrayal does. But she also knows the healing power of Jesus and walking a recovery and healing journey. With Traci's help, we talk through what it looks like to rebuild ou

Jul 23, 2024 • 56:10

367 - Stories Of Healing: Vicki & Johnny Greenfield

Vicki and Johnny Greenfield are legends in the Pure Desire community! Today, we get to hear their story of healing. Starting with how sexuality was discussed in their homes, moving to sexual brokenness and how it entered their lives, and then moving to how God healed them and their marriage—their story is powerful! Not only will you be encouraged by their story of healing, but you will be inspired by how God is using them in their heart to help other hurting couples. Enjoy the Greenfield's story

Jul 16, 2024 • 41:29

366 - Betrayal Triggers

Today's episode addresses a listener's question—how to manage betrayal triggers. Most of us are aware of triggers for those struggling with addictive or compulsive sexual behavior. But are there such a thing as betrayal triggers? The answer is an emphatic YES! Ashley Jameson joins us to discuss what betrayal triggers are, how to identify them, how to bring healing to them, and what couples can do to help each other navigate triggers.RESOURCESFULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)BETRAYAL & BEYOND (WOMEN’S

Jul 9, 2024 • 58:12

365 - Brand New Stats On Porn In The Church

We have a very SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT on today's episode! Pure Desire is partnering with one of the most influential research firms in the world to bring forth new statistics on the impact of pornography in the church. We're joined by Heather Kolb and Ashley Jameson (hosts of our newest show, Unfiltered) to discuss the origins of this research project, our hopes for this new data, some of the initial findings of the research, and how to get this information in your hands (including a launch event

Jul 2, 2024 • 42:37

364 - Repairing Relational Injury w/ Dr. Jake Porter

Significant relational injury occurs at the moment of discovery. One spouse finally feels free because the truth of their addiction or infidelity is out in the open. The other partner feels buried with trauma and has to reinterpret every aspect of their relationship history. On today’s episode, we are joined by Dr. Jake Porter (licensed therapist and founder, president, and CEO of Daring Ventures). Dr. Jake helps us talk through the relational injury caused by sexual addiction and betrayal traum

Jun 25, 2024 • 56:54

363 - The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly Of Purity Culture w/ Katherine Gallagher

Many of us who grew up in the church experienced purity culture—a significant emphasis on sexual purity, especially with young people. While purity culture had good motivations, it has caused its fair share of damage—shame, guilt, and trauma. On today’s episode, we are joined by Katherine Gallagher, the Executive Director of GoStrategic, an author and speaker on the topic of sexual purity. Katherine discusses the good, the bad, and the ugly of purity culture. GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Und

Jun 18, 2024 • 1:04:25

362 - Staying Healthy For The Summer

GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Jun 11, 2024 • 51:07

361 - The Cyclone Of Addiction

Addiction can be challenging to wrap our head around. What is addiction? How did this happen? Why me? Robert Vander Meer is on the podcast today to discuss the image and behavior of a cyclone and how this metaphor is helpful in understanding how and why addiction shows up in our life. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Bob Newhart “Stop It” VideoCyclone of Addiction (from Pillar Six, Lesson One of Seven Pillars of Freedom)Pure Desire GroupsPure Desire CounselingFASTER ScaleThree Circles ToolEs

Jun 4, 2024 • 52:53

360 - Edging In Recovery

Matt Dobschuetz, host of Porn Free Radio and founder of Recovered Man, is back on the show today! Today, we talk about edging—non-relapse behaviors that follow our addictive patterns. We talk about what qualifies as edging, how to become more aware of any edging behaviors, the importance of check-ins with our community or group, and how to address these behaviors when we see them.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Pure Desire GroupsThree CirclesFASTER ScalePorn Free RadioRecovered ManSeven Pil

May 28, 2024 • 1:08:41

359 - Helping Next Gen Navigate Healthy Relationships w/ Barb Winters

Helping the next generation is not only about teaching what NOT TO DO. It also includes teaching them what TO DO. On today’s episode, we’re joined by Barb Winters, founder of HopefulMom.net and author of Sexpectations. Barb talks us through her experience in helping her children break free of pornography addiction and equipping them with the tools they need for healthy relationships. Barb speaks from her personal experience: as a parent not knowing where to start and now an expert in the area of

May 21, 2024 • 1:03:12

358 - Becoming Authentically You (Women's Takeover)

It’s here—a NEW group resource for single women!What does it look like to live sexually healthy as a single woman?Today, authors Heather Kolb and Ashley Jameson join us to talk through our new resource for single women, Authentically You.They talk through who is the target audience, what makes Authentically You unique, the differences between this new resource and other resources we have for women, and much more! RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Behind the Mask (Recovery Resource for Student

May 14, 2024 • 24:14

357 - Healthy Separation

“Separation” is usually a swear word for church folk. This is understandable when it’s done wrong. But separation can actually be a healthy tool used for the restoration of a marriage. Today, we’re joined by a Pure Desire Clinician, Eileen Fagan, who defines a healthy or “therapeutic” separation and the benefits it can give a struggling couple. We talk through natural hesitations or fears with marital separation, when NOT to separate, and the importance of professional help and support in marita

May 7, 2024 • 54:28

356 - Reconciling Addiction & Theology

When Christians are faced with the word “addiction,” there can be a significant reaction against something we don’t see clearly in Scripture. The word “addiction” doesn’t naturally seem to fit into our theological framework. Today, we’re joined by author and speaker, Ben Bennett, to give us a new framework for reconciling addiction and theology. We explore how Scripture speaks directly to addiction, how to integrate psychology and theology, and how the recovery and healing journey can enhance ou

Apr 30, 2024 • 1:16:44

355 - Porn & Mental Health

The term “mental health” can be fuzzy. Are we talking about anxiety? Depression? Something more? All of the above? Ben Bennett joins us today to talk about the connection between viewing pornography and mental health issues. Ben speaks of porn’s role in his personal battle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations and how recovery impacts our mental health, our faith in Jesus, and our ability to follow Him.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)FASTER ScaleSeven Pillars of FreedomUnraveledO

Apr 23, 2024 • 1:03:33

354 - Healthy Communication

We all know communication is important. But what does healthy communication look like for a couple on the recovery and healing journey? Shari Chinchen, a Pure Desire Clinician, joins us today to discuss what makes communication healthy or unhealthy. We also discuss how to keep healthy communication a priority AND how to train our kids for healthy communication in their relationships.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)The Four Horsemen (Blog by Gottman Institute)Pure Desire CounselingFASTER Sca

Apr 16, 2024 • 59:22

353 - Becoming A Compassionate Warrior

Many men who’ve been through the Pure Desire recovery process have asked, “What’s after Seven Pillars of Freedom?” Well, today’s episode is all about answering this question. Clinician and speaker, Robert Vander Meer, joins us to talk about our new resource, The Compassionate Warrior (to which Robert contributed). We talk through what this resource is, how it helps men see their life and recovery through the lens of “story,” and how it helps create a lasting legacy of health.RESOURCESFull Episod

Apr 9, 2024 • 46:54

352 - Stories From The Church: Faith Chapel

Today, we get to hear from Robert Nelson and Annie Burt (staff members at Faith Chapel in Billings, Montana). Robert and Annie talk us through their journey of implementing Pure Desire groups and resources at Faith Chapel. We talk through initial hurdles, challenges they’ve faced, the fruit they’re seeing from their efforts, and lots in between.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Betrayal & BeyondUnraveledSexual Integrity 101Conquer Series (Soul Refiner)Seven Pillars of FreedomGroup Leader Trai

Apr 2, 2024 • 1:16:22

351 - FAQ #17

Today’s episode is one of our favorites! We have another Frequently Asked Questions episode where you, the listener, has sent in topical questions for us to discuss. We are joined by Traci Wright, one of our beloved clinicians, to talk about idolizing recovery, anniversaries of trauma, disclosure in dating and engagement, and more.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Pure Desire Online GroupsConnectedPure Desire CounselingFREE 15 Minute Counseling ConsultationSeven Pillars Of Freedom (Men's Reco

Mar 26, 2024 • 56:32

350 - Slippery Slopes

Though true healing and freedom from sexual addiction and brokenness is possible, it doesn’t mean the journey will be easy. The world we live in is still hyper-sexualized and full of things that can pull us away from health. On today’s episode, we talk about slippery slopes—areas or aspects of our lives that can be problematic in our sexual health. And there may be some that surprise you! We talk about what can be a slippery slope, how to be mindful of them, and what to do to ensure we don’t sli

Mar 19, 2024 • 1:00:27

349 - PTSD & Betrayal

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is often associated with major trauma—wartime experiences, rape, and abuse. Studies increasingly show that PTSD is also experienced by betrayed partners. Rather than ignore or minimize it, let’s do something about it. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Betrayal & BeyondDr. Steffens ResearchStress IndexThe Body Keeps The ScorePure Desire Groups GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule You

Mar 12, 2024 • 56:55

348 - 7 Lies That Will Ruin Your Life w/ Joshua Broome

For those who regularly listen to the show, we have a return guest. This guy has shared his story about the journey from porn star to a pastor.Today, we’re excited to have Joshua Broome back on the show to talk about his new book, 7 Lies That Will Ruin Your Life. We talk through all seven lies, identifying how they impact sexual brokenness and disrupt our healing. We also discuss some initial steps we can take to combat these lies and reclaim God’s truth in our lives.RESOURCESFull Episode Video

Mar 5, 2024 • 51:31

347 - Living UnDEFILED w/ Matt McCaulley & Kevin Whisman

We know sex trafficking exists in our world and is a growing problem. But it’s not something that’s talked about in many faith communities.On today’s episode, we’re going to talk about it! We’re thrilled to have Matt McCaulley and Kevin Whisman on the show: two guys who have spent the last few years writing, directing, and producing a full-length feature film called unDEFILED. We’ll talk about Pure Desire’s involvement in creating a follow-up study to the film and how sex trafficking is connecte

Feb 27, 2024 • 36:07

346 - Myth Busters: Marriage Will Fix It

“Just wait until I get married, then it will all get better.” These words have either been said or thought by many of us in the church. We assume being married and having sex with our spouse will rid us of our sexual brokenness or compulsive behaviors. Unfortunately, this is a myth. On today’s episode, our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us to talk through why this myth exists, the damage it creates, and how to work against it.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Seven Pillars of Freedo

Feb 20, 2024 • 46:07

345 - In Sickness & In Health

When addiction, brokenness, and betrayal enter a marriage, it can significantly impact a couple’s sexual relationship. Unfortunately, sexual brokenness and betrayal are not the only things that can hijack a couple’s sex life. On today’s episode, we’re joined by Brent and Nicole Breining, who are part of the Pure Desire family. Brent, a clinician for Pure Desire, and his wife, Nicole, share how some major life events limited their sexual relationship. They talk through how to stay committed and c

Feb 13, 2024 • 1:08:09

344 - The Order Of Intimacy w/ Phil & Priscilla Fretwell

For many of us who are on the recovery and healing journey, understanding the full scope of intimacy can be confusing. If you’re in this camp, you won’t want to miss this episode! We are excited to have Phil and Priscilla Fretwell on the show today! They are co-founders of Savage Marriage Ministries and authors of Savage Marriage: Triumph Over Betrayal and Sexual Addiction —their story of addiction, betrayal, and freedom that they use to help others find healing. They join us to talk through the

Feb 6, 2024 • 51:02

343 - Preventing Relapse (Principles of Recovery)

Relapse is returning to the place we promised God, ourselves, or others we wouldn’t go back to. So preventing relapse is a worthy goal. But can relapse be prevented proactively and practically? The answer: yes. On today’s episode, Mike Maxwell leverages his many years in recovery and leading Pure Desire groups to help us learn tools and techniques for preventing relapse.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)The Compassionate WarriorThree Circles (Tool)FASTER Scale (Tool) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7

Jan 30, 2024 • 49:42

342 - Honesty In Community (Principles of Recovery)

It’s difficult to understate the importance of community in recovery. But honesty in community isn’t easy. It requires intention and a willingness to be fully known. Dishonesty leads to shame and isolation. Honesty leads to freedom. Brent Breining, a Pure Desire Clinician, joins us today to discuss how to break secrecy, how to be honest in daily life, and why this actually matters. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Recovery Resource For WomenRecovery Resource For MenResource for Betrayed Spou

Jan 23, 2024 • 52:26

341 - Healing Our Trauma (Principles of Recovery)

Unprocessed trauma has a way of making itself known. Triggers reveal areas in our life where something isn’t quite right. If we’re not willing to address these areas, they can become a major obstacle in our relationships, workplace advancement, and breaking free from addiction. Heather Kolb is on the podcast today to talk about how the brain processes trauma and how we heal from trauma. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Altogether You (Book) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betr

Jan 16, 2024 • 54:59

340 - Addressing Our Shame (Principles of Recovery)

Shame is often used as a motivator. But shame only motivates us to do one thing: hide. Shame causes us to hide because we start to believe the lie that our mistakes and missteps are proof that we are disqualified to receive love and acceptance. But Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection are evidence of the immense worth and value of humans. Rodney Wright joins us today to talk about why shame perpetuates the cycle of addiction and how we can break free from its grip.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (Yo

Jan 9, 2024 • 51:22

339 - Breaking Free From Isolation (Principles of Recovery)

Solitude is an intentional time alone for renewal and centering yourself on God. Isolation is a pattern of disengaging from or intentionally not engaging in relationship with others. In this episode, we identify what isolation is, how it’s different from solitude, and why isolation is like gasoline on the addictive fire.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Recovery Resource For WomenRecovery Resource For MenThree Circles GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5

Jan 2, 2024 • 41:32

338 - 'Tis The Season: Attainable Goals

When we get toward the end of the year, setting new goals perpetually comes up. Why is this? And how can we create goals we’ll actually stick to? Our clinical director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us on today’s episode to talk about yearly goals, how to set them, how to maintain them, and why they matter on the recovery and healing journey.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)The Compassionate WarriorUnraveled Kit (Resource for women who struggle)Find An Online GroupStart Counseling

Dec 26, 2023 • 41:51

337 - ‘Tis The Season: Proactive Self-Care

Self-care isn’t selfish. Yet, establishing rhythms of self-care can impact the people around us both positively and negatively. If we want to practice proactive self-care, it will require an intentional, thought-out plan that is communicated to our loved ones. Kelly Johnston, our Online Women's Groups Coordinator, is on the podcast today discussing how to maintain self-care, how to find things that qualify as self-care, and why all of this is especially important during the holiday season. RESOU

Dec 19, 2023 • 53:31

336 - ‘Tis The Season: Healthy Conflict

What is it about the holiday season that makes conflict more likely? It seems inevitable. So how can we engage in conflict in a healthy way? In today’s episode, Ashley Jameson helps unpack strategies for healthy conflict (even if you’re conflict-avoidant), how to help our loved ones engage in healthy conflict, and why this matters to our recovery.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Necessary Endings (Dr. Henry Cloud’s Book)Unraveled (Women's Recovery Resource)

Dec 12, 2023 • 1:03:20

335 - ‘Tis The Season: Being Assertive

The holidays are packed with clashing expectations in relationships. Assertiveness is one of the tools we can use to navigate these challenging situations. Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive—it simply means clearly communicating your needs to others. In this episode, Heather Kolb joins us to discuss how to be assertive, the benefits of being assertive about your needs, and how to navigate the moments when someone might respond negatively. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Seven Pil

Dec 5, 2023 • 45:58

334 - Healthy Sex Life (REPLAY)

This week’s episode wraps up our “oldy but goody” episodes. Today, we revisit our conversation with Heather Kolb on a healthy sex life. Everyone wants a healthy sex life. Period. But what does it actually mean to have one? How often should married couples have sex? What qualifies as good sex? How do you improve the health of your sex life? We talk about ALL of this on today’s episode.RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube)

Nov 28, 2023 • 45:23

333 - Making A Better Commitment to Change (REPLAY)

We’re in week two of our three-week “oldy but goody” series of episodes. We revisit our conversation with Ashley Jameson on making a better Commitment to Change. The Commitment to Change (CTC) is a weekly tool that Pure Desire groups use on the road to recovery. But how do we unlock the vast potential of this tool? What makes a CTC effective? How can it help us develop holistic health? Listen in to find out!RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)

Nov 21, 2023 • 28:17

332 - Father Wound (REPLAY)

This episode starts three weeks of “oldy but goody” episodes from the podcast. This week, we revisit our conversation with our founder, Dr. Ted Roberts on father wounds. We discuss what a father wound is, how it compares to a mother wound, and how to recognize if you have one. We also talk through where in Scripture we see the father wound, how we address it, and how not to pass it on to our kids.Note: In some cases, it’s necessary to process trauma and wounds with the help of a clinician. Sched

Nov 14, 2023 • 50:36

331 - Happily Even After w/ Dannah Gresh

When discovery happens in a marriage, a bomb goes off. Life is shattered into a million pieces and you question, “Is redemption even possible?” Author of the new book, Happily Even After, Dannah Gresh, joins us on the podcast today. She answers that question emphatically, “YES!” Redemption is not only possible, but probable when God is central in a marriage AND both partners are getting the proper help they need.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Happily Even After (Book)Dannah’s BooksDannah’s

Nov 7, 2023 • 48:02

330 - Stories From The Church: Eastview Christian Church

Churches new to Pure Desire and interested in launching groups often face hurdles and feel intimidated. Yet, there are hundreds of churches helping men and women find hope and healing through Pure Desire groups. In this episode, Eastview Church leadership shares the challenges they still face, how many groups they’re currently running (Note: it’s lower than you’d expect for a large church), and why they’ve seen the success they’ve seen. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Brain, Heart, World (F

Oct 31, 2023 • 59:26

329 - Discipling Our Kids Sexually w/ Kristen A. Jenson

We teach our kids how to clean their teeth and eat food. Yet when it comes to teaching healthy sexuality, we often feel lost. Author Kristen Jenson has worked to help parents teach their kids about the dangers of pornography, how to navigate these tough conversations as they come up, and how kids can “forget” things they’ve seen.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Good Pictures Bad Pictures (book)Brain Defense: Digital Safety (course)Kristen’s WebsiteKristen’s BooksHow To Talk To Your Kids Abou

Oct 24, 2023 • 1:08:50

328 - How To Find A Counselor

Some people have a difficult time reconciling therapy with their faith. They see it as personal weakness at best and distance from God at worst. But Christians who become healthy through counseling are a gift to the world! Rodney Wright is on the podcast today sharing about how he found a counselor, how the experience impacted his faith and relationships, and gives practical advice for anyone considering entering into therapy.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Pure Desire CounselingPure Desire

Oct 17, 2023 • 55:28

327 - Recovery & Healing Milestones

Milestones are really important to those recovering from addiction or healing from betrayal trauma. But Milestones aren’t always helpful or beneficial. In this episode, Ashley Jameson joins us to discuss how to identify and measure milestones, which milestones might be particularly dangerous, and which milestones fly under the radar but should really be celebrated.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Find A Pure Desire GroupPure Desire Online GroupsFASTER ScaleFANOS Check-inBicycle Video (YouTub

Oct 10, 2023 • 1:01:31

326 - Telling Your Story Effectively

Everyone has a story that is uniquely theirs. When we hear someone’s story we begin to understand how pain and trauma entered their life. We can connect the dots in their story from pain to healing and realize–we’re not alone. If they can heal, so can I. John Begeman joins us today to discuss a three category approach to sharing our story, when and how to share, and why it even matters.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Unwanted (Jay Stringer’s Book)Pure Desire Online GroupsPure Desire Counsel

Oct 3, 2023 • 55:43

325 - The 5 Brain Bugs

Relapse can happen anytime. Whether you’re in year two or 25 of recovery. In The Compassionate Warrior, this is attributed to 5 Brain Bugs. Rich Moore joins us today to discuss what these 5 Brain Bugs are, how to identify them, and what it looks like to address them.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)FASTER Scale1 Peter 5:8The Compassionate WarriorSeven Pillars of Freedom (Prerequisite to The Compassionate Warrior)Pure Desire Online GroupsThe Soul of Shame w/ Curt Thompson (Episode 163 of Pure

Sep 26, 2023 • 46:40

324 - Help! I’m In A Sexless Marriage.

When your spouse doesn’t want to have sex, you likely feel alone and lost. When you’re the one who is uninterested in sex, you may not even understand why. However, in a healthy marriage where addiction and betrayal aren’t present, sex is a beautiful gift. This episode with Heather Kolb gets into the challenging questions about how, when, and why people may be living in a sexless marriage and what they can do about it. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)FASTER ScaleFANOS Check-inEmotion WheelP

Sep 19, 2023 • 59:04

323 - Myth Busters: I Can Do This Alone

It’s common for people to think they can recover from their addiction or stop their behaviors on their own. Unfortunately, that just isn’t how recovery works. Community is a necessity for lasting healing and freedom. Harry Flanagan joins us today to debunk this myth and provide a path for those struggling with this harmful belief.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Pure Desire SummitOnline GroupsPure Desire Counseling

Sep 12, 2023 • 1:06:08

322 - Recovery & Healing From The Heart

In this episode, we talked about the theme of the Pure Desire Summit 2023, From The Heart. Why we chose this theme, its importance to the recovery journey, why people should attend, and more. We hope you’re planning to join us online or in-person for our biggest event of the year! RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Pure Desire Summit

Sep 5, 2023 • 43:18

321 - The Toxic War On Masculinity w/ Nancy Pearcey

If you ask 1000 people what it means to be masculine, you’ll likely get 1000 different answers. Masculinity is often associated with strength, anger, and dominance. But that’s not at all how Jesus modeled masculinity. Nancy Pearcey is back with us to discuss differences between toxic masculinity and biblical masculinity and compare James Bond with Jesus. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Nancy’s WebsiteThe Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes (Nancy’s Book)Love Thy

Aug 29, 2023 • 1:09:18

320 - Growing Our Emotional Intelligence

Emotional awareness and emotional intelligence go hand-in-hand. But emotional intelligence can feel elusive. In today’s episode, Heather Kolb helps us understand how to grow in emotional intelligence and its importance in the recovery process.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource)Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource)Unraveled (Women's Recovery Resource)Pure Desire Online GroupsFASTER Scale (Free Tool)

Aug 22, 2023 • 53:31

319 - Talking With Your Young Kids About Sex

Many parents have a genuine desire to teach their kids how to navigate their sexuality in a way that is more helpful than they were taught. But most parents don’t even know where or how to begin talking with their kids about sex. This episode with Rodney and Traci Wright is packed with practical examples and advice, resources to protect kids and grow personally, and the encouragement parents have been looking for.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)How To Talk With Your Kids About SexDr. Cliffo

Aug 15, 2023 • 1:03:14

318 - Stories Of Healing: Josh & Shawna Putnam

Josh was no stranger to the limelight as a worship leader and musician. But being caught with pornography was a type of exposure that wasn't invited. Yet it was the beginning of a journey toward true healing and freedom that ultimately impacted his entire family. Josh and Shawna Putnam share their story of healing, what they learned along the way, and the new ministry that it is fueling for both of them.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Josh’s Music (Spotify)Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Men's Re

Aug 8, 2023 • 58:16

317 - Reparenting Our Inner Child with Dr. Eddie Capparucci

The concept of reparenting your inner child strikes people in different ways. Some are skeptical and others are raving fans of the approach. On today’s podcast, we’re joined by Dr. Eddie Capparucci to discuss his work in this area. We talk about the importance of reparenting your inner child, the relationship of faith and psychology in this area, and more. RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Why Men Struggle To Love (Eddie’s Book)Going DeeperEddie’s websitePure Desire Online GroupsSeven Pillars

Aug 1, 2023 • 1:06:17

316 - The Power Of Sharing Our Story w/ Ashley Sears

Our stories have incredible power. But why is that? What is it about sharing our stories that is so impactful? On today’s episode, we are joined by the founder of Stories Unveiled, Ashley Sears. Ashley helps us understand why stories are so powerful, how to find the courage to share them, and the healing stories carry for us all.RESOURCESFull Episode Video (YouTube)Stories Unveiled Conference (Ashley's Conference)Stories Unveiled Facebook PageStories Unveiled Instagram PageStories Of Healing: As

Jul 25, 2023 • 54:01

315 - Marriage, Relationships, & Sex w/ Dr. Les Parrott

Relationships are at the center of each part of our lives. And few things impact our relationships like unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In this episode, best-selling author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Les Parrott joins us with practical tools to create fulfillment in our relationships. We talk about trends in dating and marriage relationships, when and how to share our history with our partner, and how to improve communication around sex and everything else. RESOURCESFull Episode

Jul 18, 2023 • 40:55

315 - Marriage, Relationships, & Sex w/ Dr. Les Parrott

Relationships are at the center of each part of our lives. And few things impact our relationships like unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In this episode, best-selling author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Les Parrott joins us with practical tools to create fulfillment in our relationships. We talk about trends in dating and marriage relationships, when and how to share our history with our partner, and how to improve communication around sex and everything else.  RESOURCES Full Episod

Jul 18, 2023 • 40:56

314 - FAQ #16: Church

Churches and volunteers passionate about Pure Desire Groups face a number of challenges when starting out. Today, Rodney Wright joins us to share best practices from his experience launching and maintaining a thriving Pure Desire Groups ministry. From preaching tips to managing group members from other churches to navigating a leadership team that isn’t open to a “recovery ministry,” this episode has it all. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource) Unr

Jul 11, 2023 • 52:20

313 - From Co-Addict Model To A Partner-Sensitive Approach

As new research emerges and becomes mainstream, it’s important that our approach remains current. This is the heart behind the recent update to our resource for women, Betrayal & Beyond. In this episode, Heather Kolb and Ashley Jameson share the “why” behind the update, they highlight the major changes (and what stayed the same), and who should go through this updated resource.  RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Betrayal & Beyond Kit—including NEW video companion (Women's Betrayal Resource)

Jul 4, 2023 • 56:07

312 - Addressing Porn In The Church w/ Sam Black

Pornography undermines every ministry in a local church. Sam Black, author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography And How To Fix It (GIVEAWAY IN SHOW NOTES), joins us to take an honest look at the harmful effects of ignoring unwanted sexual behavior in the church. This episode is packed with practical ways that churches can begin to meet the real need that exists within their congregations. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) FREE COPY of The Healing Church (First 50

Jun 27, 2023 • 1:11:11

311 – Rewiring Our Brains Sexually

Unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma have a profound impact on the brain. But the brain is amazing and can be rewired! Heather Kolb joins us for this episode with tips and tools for rewiring our brain sexually. We discuss why rewiring our brain after sexual addiction is uniquely challenging, how long we should expect this process to take, and who else should be involved. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Sexual Integrity 101 Groups Seven Pillars of Freedom (Resource For Struggling M

Jun 20, 2023 • 1:07:45

310 - Stories From The Church: Petra Church

Launching Pure Desire groups at your church can feel intimidating at first. In this episode, we start a new series: Stories From The Church. Our first episode in this new series, we spoke with the team responsible for successfully implementing groups at Petra Church in Pennsylvania. We learned how they overcame some of the most common hurdles churches face, how they train and recruit leaders, and reflect on some of the success they’ve enjoyed over the years. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube

Jun 13, 2023 • 59:28

309 - Confidentiality & Mandatory Reporting

Confidentiality is critically important in the group setting. So is protecting victims and vulnerable populations through mandatory reporting. On today’s episode, we talk with Rich Moore about how to strike a balance between confidentiality and mandated reporting, how to proactively protect the group, and the process of reporting if and when necessary. Finally, we explored the positive outcomes that mandated reporting can have on the people involved. SHOW NOTES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Group

Jun 6, 2023 • 53:53

308 - From Porn Star To Pastor w/ Joshua Broome

The path from an award-winning porn star to a pastor just doesn’t make sense. But that’s the path God paved for our guest today, Joshua Broome (cofounder of Share the King). We talk to Joshua about how he got into performing porn, how God rescued him, and God is using him as a speaker, pastor, influencer, and podcast host to help people follow Jesus and live with sexual integrity. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Joshua’s Website Joshua’s TikTok Joshua’s Twitter Joshua’s Instagram Share T

May 30, 2023 • 1:02:12

307 - Betrayal As A Pastor's Wife w/ Michelle Stumbo

The devastation created through betrayal trauma can turn a partner’s world upside down and impact them in a way they never imagined. But what does healing from betrayal trauma look like if your spouse is in a public position—doctor, teacher, police officer, judge, or pastor? Today, we’re joined by Michelle Stumbo (married to Nick Stumbo, the Executive Director for Pure Desire). We talk through what healing from betrayal looks like when your husband is the pastor. What tools and boundaries are ne

May 23, 2023 • 51:21

306 - Racism & Sexual Brokenness w/ Immanuel & Michelle Garraway

The more we seek to understand the factors that impact sexual brokenness, the more we recognize how racism can be a contributing factor. But how does racism impact sexual brokenness? On today’s episode, we’re joined by Immanuel and Michelle Garraway, who share their experiences with racism and the role it played in their recovery and healing journey. We talk through how family of origin and harmful intergenerational messages can become a catalyst for sexual brokenness, and how owning your story

May 16, 2023 • 56:25

305 - Let's Talk About Divorce w/ Andrea Rogers

When a couple experiences the fallout of sexual brokenness and betrayal trauma, we desire healing and restoration of their marriage. Yet, we know in some cases, separation is necessary. And sometimes, divorce happens. We’re joined by Andrea Rogers, a Certified Life Coach who is passionate about helping people reach their full potential. Andrea is also a Certified Partner Coach with APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), trained in using the Multidimensional Partner T

May 9, 2023 • 1:07:23

304 - Teen Girls & Porn w/ Crystal Renaud Day (Women's Takeover)

We know not only men look at porn. In fact, it’s been suggested that the fastest-growing demographic of porn users is women. And teen girls are getting caught up in the allure of pornography. On today’s episode, we’re joined by Crystal Renaud Day, an author, speaker, and founding director of She Recovery. Crystal is a pastoral counselor and certified coach with more than 15 years experience helping women overcome porn and sexual addictions. We talk through how and why teen girls get hooked on po

May 2, 2023 • 52:00

303 - Helping My Spouse Heal w/ Carol Juergensen Sheets

In order for true restoration to take place in a marriage, both spouses must heal (especially the betrayed partner). While pursuing their recovery from addiction or unwanted sexual behavior, men often ask, "How can I help my spouse heal?" On today's episode, we are joined by the woman who literally wrote the book on this question. Carol Juergensen Sheets, AKA "Carol the Coach," is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and author who wrote Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook For Sex Addicts To Help

Apr 25, 2023 • 57:02

302 - Developing Personal Promises

One of the most meaningful tools we use on the recovery journey is called a personal promise (once called a prophetic promise). This tool helps us connect a truth we see from God's word and connect it with an experience in our life. Fusing the right and left brain together is powerful. On today's episode, we discuss how we use these promises on our recovery journey, what makes them effective, how to create your own, and more. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) FASTER Scale (Tool)

Apr 18, 2023 • 56:19

301 - The 4 People You Need In Recovery

Recovery is not a journey we do alone. Though the work is specific to us, we need a safe, trusted community around us to ensure the work of recovery sticks! On today’s episode, we’re joined by our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen, to discuss the four different roles/people we need with us on the recovery journey. We identify these four people/roles and talk through why they are so necessary in our recovery journey. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Join A Pure Desire Group Group Leader Tra

Apr 11, 2023 • 43:10

300 - We Made It To 300!

The Pure Desire Podcast has officially entered the 300s! To celebrate, we've got some special stuff for you. A role reversal, a massive giveaway, the future of the show, our favorites from the last 100 episodes, and ministry updates. Join us for this milestone! 300 down. At least another 300 to go! RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Enter $300 Giveaway

Apr 4, 2023 • 49:26

299 - How Recovery Changes After Year One w/ Ben Bennett

Oftentimes, the recovery journey begins with crisis. Pornography or unwanted sexual behavior negatively impacts our lives and relationships and we know change is needed. But as the recovery journey progresses, crisis can diminish. When that happens, motivation for the journey changes. Today, we’re joined by Ben Bennett (leader of Resolution Movement and author of Free To Thrive and Living Free) to talk through how recovery changes after the first year. We talk through the shift from a sobriety m

Mar 28, 2023 • 1:06:50

298 - Image Management w/ Nate Larkin

A significant challenge men and women face in recovery is image management—the attempt to control how they are perceived by others. This can be even more challenging for those in the church. Today, we're joined by Nate Larkin (founder of Samson Society and author of Samson and the Pirate Monks) to discuss what motivates this desire for image management. We talk about how to identify when we slip into image management, the pitfalls of it, and ways we can avoid or step out of image management.

Mar 21, 2023 • 57:15

297 - Moral Failings In The Church w/ Randy Alcorn

It seems inevitable that another high-profile Christian leader or pastor will have a public moral failing. Many of these moral failings are in the area of sexual brokenness. Today, we're joined by Randy Alcorn, the best-selling author of Heaven, Happiness, and The Purity Principle, to discuss why these failings continue to happen. Randy helps us understand what contributes to the fall of high-profile leaders, how churches can recover and heal, and how to prevent this in the future of the church.

Mar 14, 2023 • 1:21:37

296 - Love Thy Body w/ Nancy Pearcey

A common assumption in the church is, "soul good, body bad." But on today's episode, our guest, Professor Nancy Pearcey, flips this idea on its head. Nancy shares perspectives from her book, Love Thy Body, where she addresses beliefs we commonly adopt in the church and identifies how damaging they can be—specifically, beliefs about our bodies and our sexuality. Nancy helps us understand how a high view of our body and sexuality can help us flourish inside God's plan for our life. RESOURCES Full

Mar 7, 2023 • 1:20:59

295 - How Counseling Helps Marriages

Counseling is incredibly beneficial, especially when it comes to the recovery and healing journey in marriage. On today's episode, we talk to Bill & Eileen Fagan (two Pure Desire Clinicians) about how counseling helps marriages. We discuss why counseling can be so beneficial, the benefits of couples being counseled together, and how counseling has and continues to save marriages. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Counseling Sexual Integrity 101 (Video Course) When To Refer To Co

Feb 28, 2023 • 50:27

294 - FAQ #15 - Marriage

On today's Frequently Asked Questions episode, we're tackling questions about marriage. We talk about reintegrating sex after disclosure, how to talk about and potentially change boundaries, attraction and loss of it, the 5-year relapse, helping our spouse through a trigger, and much more. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) The Great Sex Rescue (Sheila Wray Gregoire's book) Good Sex, Good Marriage? (Ashley's blog) Manage Conflict: The Aftermath of a Fight (Gottman Institute blog) Good Girls

Feb 21, 2023 • 1:12:50

293 - 5 Habits For Healthy Marriages

None of us sets out to have an unhealthy marriage. We will never arrive at a healthy marriage, but we can be constantly headed in the direction of health. So, what can we do to ensure our relationship moving closer to health? On today's Valentine's Day episode, we share five habits for healthy marriages. We identify how scheduling time together, sharing our emotions, planning our week, pursuing intimacy (of all kinds), and finding shared passions, can move our marriages in the direction of healt

Feb 14, 2023 • 41:11

292 - Myth Busters: High Frequency = Sexual Health

Whether it's through our upbringing, social media, or our culture, there is a belief that sexual health in a marriage means LOTS of sex. On today's episode, we identify this belief as a myth. We discuss why we believe this myth and how damaging it is to marriages. We also discuss how a comparison mindset impacts our relationships, how couples can find a healthy frequency of sexual intimacy, and the definition of sexual health in a marriage. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Cliff & Joyce Pe

Feb 7, 2023 • 1:03:16

291- Breaking Isolation w/ Chandler Rogers

Isolation is a common byproduct of unwanted sexual behavior or pornography addiction. As we continue acting out, shame builds and leads us deeper into isolation. On today's episode, we talk to Chandler Rogers, the Co-Founder and CEO of Relay (an app designed to help people break out of isolation). We discuss with Chandler why we isolate, why isolation is so damaging in recovery, what signs indicate we're beginning to isolate, and how to break out of isolation and live vulnerably with our communi

Jan 31, 2023 • 53:21

290 - Pure Desire Foundations: Family Systems Model

Pure Desire’s understanding of healing and freedom is built on a family systems model. Without this model, making sense of our story and our healing journey is impossible. This is the fourth and final foundation of Pure Desire’s approach to healing and freedom. In this final Foundations episode, we explain why a family systems model is so effective in helping people take back their lives from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. We discuss how our family of origin shapes our unwanted pa

Jan 24, 2023 • 50:53

289 - Pure Desire Foundations: Groups Approach

Pure Desire groups are at the center of our to approach to healing and freedom. Groups are the primary place of recovery and healing. This is the third of four foundational aspects of our ministry. Everything we do as a ministry funnels into groups for men and women taking back their lives from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In week 3 of our 4-week Foundations series, we discuss our groups approach to healing. We unpack why the group context is so important for true healing and fr

Jan 17, 2023 • 1:01:00

288 - Pure Desire Foundations: Clinically Informed

Pure Desire's approach to healing and freedom is clinically informed. This is the second of four foundational aspects to our ministry. In all of our materials and offerings, we use brain science and therapeutic tools to help men and women take back their lives from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In week 2 of our 4-week Foundations series, we unpack what being clinically informed means. We discuss how a biblical and clinical approach works together, why research and neuroscience ar

Jan 10, 2023 • 55:58

287 - Pure Desire Foundations: Biblically Based

Pure Desire is built on four foundational beliefs. The first (and most important) is Pure Desire is biblically based in all we do. Our entire approach to healing and freedom from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma is rooted in Scripture. In week 1 of our 4-week Foundations series, we explore what it means that Pure Desire is biblically based. We address the common pushback we get of not being "biblical enough," identify where the Bible discusses addictive patterns, how Scripture inform

Jan 3, 2023 • 1:12:58

286 - Health For The Holidays: Realistic Resolutions

Without fail, during the week between Christmas and New Year’s, resolutions for change are made. But statistically, these New Year’s resolutions often fail by the time we get one month in. Why is this? In the fourth and final week of our Health For The Holidays series, we talk about making realistic resolutions. We discuss why we make these resolutions to change each year, why they can be so difficult to stick with, what makes them successful, and how to make resolutions we can actually accompli

Dec 27, 2022 • 47:21

285 - Health For The Holidays: Coping Skills

For those of us in the recovery or healing journey, the term “coping skills” carries a negative connotation. It’s negative coping skills that put us on this journey in the first place. But what if we need coping skills in order to stay healthy during the holiday season? In week three of our Health For The Holidays series, we decipher between healthy and unhealthy coping skills, how to know we’re coping too much, how to communicate our coping skills with others, and what coping skills we’re using

Dec 20, 2022 • 46:11

284 - Health For The Holidays: Managing Emotions

Each year, around mid-November, we start hearing Christmas music. One sentiment we hear over and over is how the holidays are the “most wonderful time of the year.” However many of us experience the “most emotional time of the year.” Why is the most wonderful time of the year happen to be the most emotional? In week two of our Health For The Holidays series, we talk through why this season is so emotional. We discuss how to manage emotions effectively, how to become more emotionally aware, and h

Dec 13, 2022 • 53:30

283 - Health For The Holidays: Navigating Family

Staying healthy during the holidays can be challenging. Especially when it comes to navigating family. Being around our family of origin, slipping back into old roles, and working to meet expectations—all difficulties during the holiday season. In week one of our Health For The Holidays series, we talk through why being around family is so challenging during the holidays, why boundaries are important, and how we’re planning to navigate family during this time of year. RESOURCES Full Episode Vide

Dec 6, 2022 • 50:50

282 - Recognizing & Changing Our Digital Patterns w/ Jason Mathew

If we ever want to live in sexual health, we must know our patterns. This isn't just our patterns of fantasy or sexually acting out. This extends to understanding our digital patterns—how we use technology in unhealthy ways. Today, we are joined by Jason Mathew, founder of LeadMeNot, a digital wellness company. Jason shares his story of sexual brokenness and how recognizing and changing his digital patterns helped him find freedom. We also talk about what digital wellness looks like and how it i

Nov 29, 2022 • 1:00:30

281 - The Impact Of Sexual Addiction (w/ Dr. Adrian Hickmon)

When addressing unwanted sexual behavior or any level of sexual brokenness, the language of "addiction" is difficult to accept. What is it that makes something an addiction? What makes it a sexual addiction? To help us understand sexual addiction and its impact,  we talk to Dr. Adrian Hickmon, a therapist and the founder of Capstone Treatment Center. We discuss the criteria of an "addiction," why sexual addiction is so damaging, how trauma factors in, how it damages relationships, and what recov

Nov 22, 2022 • 1:16:44

280 - Stories Of Healing: Nate & Maggie Blaylock

Life becomes difficult when you lose your job, ministry, community, and home. This is the story of Nate and Maggie Blaylock. Because of Nate’s unwanted sexual behavior and addiction, not only did they have to leave the community they were a part of, they had to completely start over in another city. But that’s not where their story ended. Through their own healing and recovery, God equipped them to be healers in their own right. Listen to today’s Story of Healing to hear how God took them from b

Nov 15, 2022 • 58:32

279 - How To Support Pure Desire Groups At Your Church

Effectively supporting our church’s Pure Desire groups is multi-faceted. The words we use from the stage during a weekend service, the oversight offered to group leaders, and the frequency of announcing groups—these all impact recovery and healing groups in our church. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our newest team members, Immanuel Garraway, our Church Relations Specialist. We talk through what to do and not do as we support our groups. We discuss what level of pastoral involvement

Nov 8, 2022 • 41:20

278 - The Four Pillars Of Sexual Love w/ Dr. Juli Slattery

Sexual love is God’s beautiful creation. But for so many of us, our brokenness negatively impacts it. This past September at the Pure Desire Summit, Dr. Juli Slattery spoke on the four pillars of sexual love and what makes it such a beautiful gift from God. On today’s episode, we feature her Summit breakout session. Dr. Slattery covers how the importance of faithfulness, intimate knowing, sacrificial love, and a passionate celebration of covenant love all impact our sex life. RESOURCES Full Epi

Nov 1, 2022 • 1:03:19

277 - FAQ #14: Singles & Unmarried

Recovery and healing as a single or unmarried person can often seem confusing. Is there something wrong or lesser about me because I'm not married?  What does sexual health look like as a single or unmarried person? On today's frequently asked questions episode, we cover many different aspects of being single or unmarried in recovery and healing. We talk about sexual health and its expression as an unmarried person, what is "too much" to share with a significant other or friends, betrayal trauma

Oct 25, 2022 • 56:32

276 - A Partner Sensitive Approach To Healing From Betrayal w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens

Healing from sexual betrayal is an incredibly important journey. In order to best help partners heal from the trauma experienced through sexual betrayal, we must understand what the partner needs. On today’s episode, we interview the founding president of The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS), Dr. Barbara Steffens. Dr. Steffens helps us understand what a partner-sensitive approach looks like (featured in our NEW Betrayal & Beyond resource), how this approach diff

Oct 18, 2022 • 56:03

275 - Running Effective Groups: Betrayal & Beyond

Women who experience sexual betrayal need healing just as much as their addicted spouses. The damage that betrayal trauma creates is massive. Women need a place to heal and process their experiences. This is what Betrayal & Beyond was created for—a group context and healing resource that facilitates the healing God provides those who’ve experienced sexual betrayal. We are in week 4 of our Running Effective Groups series. Today, we’re focused on running effective Betrayal & Beyond groups. We look

Oct 11, 2022 • 56:46

274 - Running Effective Groups: Unraveled

Women who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior feel double shame. First off, they feel shame because of their struggle. Secondly, they feel shame because they struggle with an area often addressed as a “man’s issue.” Sexual brokenness is not a respecter of gender. Men and women both struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors. We are now in week 3 of our Running Effective Groups series. Today, we talk about running effective Unraveled groups—our recovery resource for women. We talk through why the

Oct 4, 2022 • 59:07

273 - Running Effective Groups: Seven Pillars Of Freedom

Today is week 2 of our 4-week Running Effective Pure Desire Groups series. This week we look at our recovery groups for men: Seven Pillars Of Freedom. We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launching Pure Desire recovery and support groups. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Group Pathway (Free Resource) Seven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Rec

Sep 27, 2022 • 1:06:33

272 - Running Effective Groups: Sexual Integrity 101

Today begins a 4-part series on running effective Pure Desire groups. Week 1 is focused on our introductory video course: Sexual Integrity 101. We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launching Pure Desire recovery and support groups. RESOURCES RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Group Pathway (Free Resource) Sexual Integrity 101 (Video Cou

Sep 20, 2022 • 54:57

271 - Developing A Purity Ministry

It's natural to want others to experience the healing and freedom Pure Desire groups have given us. But for so many of us, the notion of bringing groups to our church is daunting. This is why Pure Desire has created a roadmap for developing a purity ministry at your church. In today's episode, we want through each step of this roadmap and give encouragement on what it looks like to implement Pure Desire groups into your church. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Developing Purity Groups (PDF

Sep 13, 2022 • 48:42

270 - Emotions Below The Surface (2021 Summit Session)

This week, we throw it back to 2021 and the Pure Desire Summit! Robert Vander Meer taught a breakout session at the Summit titled, Emotions Below The Surface. As we are now only 10 days away from the 2022 Summit, we thought we'd give you a taste of what's in store. Spoiler alert: Robert is one of the plenary speakers at this year's Summit! Explore with us the emotions that live below the surface and how they impact our lives each day. If you like Robert's session, register for the Summit here. R

Sep 6, 2022 • 1:01:23

269 - Going ALL IN For Recovery & Healing

The theme of the 2022 Pure Desire Summit (Sept. 16-17, 2022) is “ALL IN.” But what does that mean? What does it look like to go “ALL IN” for our recovery and healing? On today’s episode, we talk through what an “ALL IN” approach to our healing journey looks like, how to identify our next steps in recovery, and the benefits of seeing recovery as a lifelong endeavor. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) 2022 Pure Desire Summit Pure Desire Groups Pure Desire Online Groups

Aug 30, 2022 • 48:23

268 - Techless w/ Chris Kaspar

One of the most needed guardrails in recovery revolves around technology. We consider how to use our computers or devices. One question many ask is, "What about my smartphone?" On today's episode, we talk to Chris Kaspar, CEO of Techless—a company offering a phone designed to cut out unnecessary distractions like social media, addictions, and advertisements. We talk to Chris about technology's impact on digital addiction, sexuality, and our relationships. We talk about Techless' new Wisephone an

Aug 23, 2022 • 55:21

267 - Rebuilding & Restoring Lives

Part of the recovery journey is giving back. Sharing our story, leading Pure Desire groups, and even giving back financially. Today, we’re joined by two members of our advancement team, John Begeman and Rodney Wright. John and Rodney talk about the role generosity plays in the recovery process, how God is using donations to expand sexual health, and what major projects Pure Desire is working on. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Join Team 58 Group Leader Training (Video Course) Sexual Integ

Aug 16, 2022 • 54:53

266 - Polygraphs & The Disclosure Process

A common aspect of the full disclosure process is a polygraph. Polygraphs can carry a certain stigma with them. But what is a polygraph and what benefit does it offer a couple going through recovery and healing? Today, we’re joined by our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen. Tyler gives us an inside look at what a polygraph is, how it fits into the full disclosure process, and how it helps rebuild trust in a marriage. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Recovery Action Plan (Struggling Spouse)

Aug 9, 2022 • 45:44

265 - Finding Your True Self w/ Marilyn Vancil

Each of us carries two types of “self.” Our authentic self—who God has made us to be. And our adapted self—the facade we’ve created to protect ourselves from pain and difficulty. On today’s episode, we talk to Marilyn Vancil, a spiritual director, coach, and author of Self To Lose, Self To Find. Marilyn talks us through how to identify which self we are living out of and what tools we can use to live out of who God made us to be. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) MarilynVancil.com Self To L

Aug 2, 2022 • 1:09:08

264 - Unmet Longings & Unhealthy Behaviors w/ Ben Bennett

A switch gets flipped when we begin to understand why we do what we do (especially with our unwanted behaviors). This understanding isn’t gained easily, but when it is, it changes the whole game. On today’s episode, we’re joined by a friend of the show who is an author, speaker, and influencer to the next generation–Ben Bennett. Ben joins us to help us find the connection between our unmet longings and how they play out in our unhealthy behaviors. We also discuss how to meet these longings in he

Jul 26, 2022 • 1:02:40

263 - Myth Busters: Self-Care Is Selfish

Whether it’s been caught or taught, many of us believe self-care is selfish. We can so easily see and encourage it in others, but when it comes to our own self-care, we dismiss it as too “self-focused.”  Why do we believe this? Does this belief cause damage? How can we change this underlying belief? Today, we are joined by Traci Wright (Pure Desire Clinician and author) to explore the myth “self-care is selfish” and discuss how to improve our personal self-care. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (You

Jul 19, 2022 • 53:38

262 - Understanding Our Unwanted Behaviors w/ Jay Stringer

We all have some form of unwanted behavior in our life. Whether it's pornography, affairs, fantasy, or any other form of sexual brokenness, understanding where these behaviors come from is essential! If we want to break free from our unwanted behaviors, we must understand them. If we truly want to understand our unwanted behaviors, we must be curious. This requires honesty, courage, and hard work. On today's episode, Jay Stringer, author of Unwanted and featured speaker at this year's Pure Desir

Jul 12, 2022 • 54:17

261 - FAQ #13

On today’s new FAQ episode, we cover a lot. This is what these episodes are for: giving answers to tough questions. Today’s topics include emotional anorexia, white-knuckling, sexual content in video games, getting triggered at the gym, same-sex attraction, and more! RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Recovery Action Plan (Struggling Spouse) Recovery Action Plan (Betrayed Spouse) One-Sided Healing: Addicted (Podcast Episode) One-Sided Healing: Betrayed (Podcast Episode) FASTER Scale (Tool) H

Jul 5, 2022 • 1:05:55

260 - The Pure Desire Podcast Turns 5!

Today, our podcast turns 5! We’re so thankful for you (the listeners/viewers) for tuning in each week and encouraging us to keep pushing the conversation forward. On today's livestream recording, we're: reading some reviews of the show, talking through why we started and will continue to do the podcast, covering some Pure Desire history and the podcast, discussing where we are headed in the next year, and announcing exciting and upcoming developments at Pure Desire RESOURCES Full Episode Video (

Jun 29, 2022 • 1:08:32

260 - Teaser

We have a special invitation for you to join us live THIS AFTERNOON to celebrate 5 years of the podcast! Join us LIVE this afternoon at 2 PM PST: CLICK HERE

Jun 28, 2022 • 2:01

259 - Starting Pure Desire Groups At Your Church

When is the best time to start groups in my church? What should be my first steps? What if I don’t have buy-in from my pastor/leader? Do we need groups for men and women? These are the questions all of us ask when starting Pure Desire groups in our church. These and many other questions can leave us directionless and with little hope on starting groups. On today’s episode, we give direction on all of it. We talk through timing of groups, getting support from leaders, promotion, and introductory

Jun 21, 2022 • 49:53

258 - Faith, Sexuality, & Gender w/ Preston Sprinkle

Is it possible to hold a biblical sexual ethic and love those who don’t hold to it? Our guest, Dr. Preston Sprinkle, works to answer this question in his work as the president of The Center For Faith, Sexuality, & Gender. Preston is the host of the Theology In The Raw podcast and is a New York Times Best-Selling author of books like People To Be Loved, Embodied, and Living In A Gray World. Preston joins us today to talk through the tension we experience between the Bible’s teaching on sexuality

Jun 14, 2022 • 1:05:15

257 - 7 Tips As You Begin Healing From Betrayal

Many of us who experience betrayal trauma are thrown into it. We didn’t cause it. We didn’t choose it. But here we are: suffering. The thought of pursuing our own healing when we experience betrayal seems unfair. Ultimately, it is. But we have the choice to step into healing for ourselves—to restore what has been broken and damaged. On today’s episode, we explore 7 tips or encouragements as we enter the journey of healing from betrayal. Heather Kolb, our Content Manager, joins us and shares from

Jun 7, 2022 • 51:16

256 - 7 Tips As You Begin Recovery From Addiction

The journey of recovery from unwanted sexual behavior is not an intuitive one. There are many aspects we never knew to consider when working to create sexual health in our lives. When we do enter the recovery journey, there can be many ups and downs. That's why, on today's episode, we talk through 7 tips for those on the front end of their recovery from addiction journey. These are 7 tips we wish we knew as we started our journies. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Online Groups

May 31, 2022 • 52:39

255 - Restoring Our Vows w/ Brandon & Tonia Clark

Like many marriages, Brandon and Tonia Clark experienced the damage of a pornography addiction. Through Brandon's addiction, they experienced crisis in their marriage and didn't know how to address the problem. Today, Brandon and Tonia join us to tell the story of how they restored their marriage and their vows and how they're using their story to help others do the same. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Restored Vows Course (Covenant Eyes Free 14-day Video Course) Covenant Eyes (Accountab

May 24, 2022 • 58:09

254 - Fear Of Sex During Recovery

When entering the recovery and healing process, there can be lots of fear. Fears like "will this work?" or "can I really restore my marriage?" But one of the biggest fears couples face is the fear of re-engaging in their sexual relationship. Today, we are joined by clinicians, Robert and Rebecca Vander Meer, to talk through this fear and ways to work through it during the recovery process. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Counseling Sex During Recovery (Podcast Episode)

May 17, 2022 • 50:16

253 - Gaslighting, Manipulating, & Lying

Men and women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior or sexual brokenness often work very hard to protect themselves. Protecting themselves from the pain in life and protecting themselves from the consequences of their behavior. This often takes the form of gaslighting, manipulating, and lying. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our clinicians, Eileen Fagan, to talk through why those struggling chose these behaviors, how spouses can identify them, and how couples can heal from their ef

May 10, 2022 • 54:38

252 - Pastors, Church Leaders, & Sexual Misconduct

It seems like every few months there is another report of a Christian leader caught in sexual misconduct. This is extremely sad. It shouldn't be this way. But why does this keep happening? Can we do anything about it? How do we change this trend with our leaders and in our churches? Today we tackle all of these questions. There is a better way and we need to take steps to create it in our churches. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Sexual Integrity 101 How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex P

May 3, 2022 • 1:01:19

251 - The Good Guide To Great Sex w/ Dr. Keith & Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire is back on the podcast today and she is joined by her husband, Dr. Keith. They’ve been busy updating and writing their books, The Good Girls Guide To Great Sex and The Good Guys Guide To Great Sex! Today, we talk to Sheila and Dr. Keith about their books, interesting findings from their research of over 25,000 Christian women, a new approach to sexual intimacy in marriage, how frequent we should be having sex, and A LOT more! RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) The Good G

Apr 26, 2022 • 1:03:26

250 - Taboo Topics

When entering our sexual history or the history of our group members, it’s likely we’ll encounter topics considered “taboo.” Topics like fetishes, fantasies, same-sex attraction, or others. We all have potentially taboo aspects to our sexual history. On today’s episode, we are joined by Rich Moore (Associate Director of Men’s Groups) to talk about these topics, how to respond to these topics when they come up, and how we can diminish the shame around these elements of our story. RESOURCES FULL E

Apr 19, 2022 • 56:43

249 - Leading Women's Groups

Pure Desire groups for women are essential to an effective recovery ministry. Whether it’s groups for women who’ve experienced betrayal or women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior, these groups are needed! If we want to create cultures in our church where “it’s okay to not be okay,” we need a group structure and women willing to lead. On today’s episode, Ashley Jameson joins us to talk about leading women’s groups. We talk about what to look for in group leaders, unique aspects to women’s

Apr 12, 2022 • 54:43

248 - Performance Wounds w/ Stephen Thomas

Whether we've played sports, performed in theater, or participated in other performance-oriented activities, we have all experienced failure. These moments of failure impact us at a deep level. On today's episode, we talked with Stephen Thomas, a marriage and recovery consultant, about how these performance failures wound us, how they contribute to our recovery and healing journies, and how to heal our performance wounds. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) STEPHEN THOMAS CONSULTING (STEPHE

Apr 5, 2022 • 56:33

247 - Becoming A Porn-Free Person w/ Matt Dobschuetz

Becoming a porn-free person is not an easy journey but is so worth the effort! Matt Dobschuetz knows this first hand. Matt, the host of the Porn Free Radio Podcast and author of the new book Porn Free, joins us for a crossover episode of the podcast. On today’s episode, we talk to Matt about his new book and the insights he shares about the recovery journey. Matt even asks us a few questions during the interview. It’s a good time and we know you’ll enjoy our conversation with Matt. RESOURCES FUL

Mar 29, 2022 • 59:10

246 - Replacing Unwanted Sexual Behaviors

It’s not enough to just stop our unwanted sexual behaviors. In order to truly break free and heal from the effects of unwanted sexual behaviors, we must find replacement behaviors. Like learning to ride a bike, our mind holds on to repeated behaviors and never lets them go. If we want to stop these automatic behaviors, our brain requires we replace them with new ones. On today’s episode, we discuss why we need new behaviors, what kinds we should pursue, and how to make sure our new behaviors don

Mar 22, 2022 • 47:18

245 - Sacrifices of Recovery & Healing

It's the consequences of unwanted sexual behavior that often motivate us most in starting the recovery or healing journey. Whether we’re the struggling spouse or the one betrayed, the crisis and damage of sexual brokenness make the recovery and healing process very necessary. But once we enter this journey, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. As we grow and develop health, we begin setting boundaries and evaluating our life with a new lens. As we do so, we can lose hobbies, jobs, and even

Mar 15, 2022 • 1:01:42

244 - How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Sexual Betrayal

Sexual betrayal is one of the most devastating things a person can experience. Though struggling spouses are not primarily out to hurt their husband/wife, sexual brokenness brings immense amounts of pain and trauma into a marriage. As an addict or struggler, is it possible to help our spouse heal from the pain we’ve caused? Is there anything we can do to help in the healing process? On today’s episode, we explore what an addicted/struggling spouse can do (if anything) to help their spouse heal f

Mar 8, 2022 • 1:03:39

243 - Spiritual Bypass w/ Dr. Craig Cashwell

As followers of Jesus, knowing what is true and biblical is important. But when it comes to battling the effects of unwanted sexual behavior or betrayal trauma we can very easily use spiritual truths to minimize the reality of our situation or struggle. This is referred to as "spiritual bypass." On today's episode, Dr. Craig Cashwell talks to us about spiritual bypass and why it can be so damaging on our journey of healing and recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) SHADOWS OF THE CROSS

Mar 1, 2022 • 1:05:34

242 - Women's Takeover #4 - Stories Of Healing: Cyndie & Dusty Gillingham

Sexual brokenness shatters the lives of so many men and women. We’ve heard this story many times: a man struggles with unwanted sexual behaviors and, because of this, his wife experiences betrayal trauma.  But what happens when the roles are reversed? When a woman struggles and betrays her husband? On today’s episode, Cyndie and Dusty tell us their story of healing. They share how sexual brokenness impacted their relationship, how they were introduced to Pure Desire, what their recovery and heal

Feb 22, 2022 • 55:27

241 - Women's Takeover #3: Empowering A Betrayed Partner

When discovery or disclosure happens, it impacts the mind, body, and soul of a betrayed partner. Our mind becomes stuck on rewind; processing every word of every day, wondering how we missed it. We can’t eat. We can’t sleep. We no longer feel safe. Is there any hope? On today’s episode, we sit down with Jennifer Howie and talk through several aspects of betrayal trauma that will empower a betrayed partner on their healing journey.  RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) BETRAYAL & BEYOND (WOMEN’

Feb 15, 2022 • 45:32

240 - Women's Takeover #2: Integrating Psychology & Spirituality w/ Dr. Craig Cashwell

Historically, in many faith communities, there seemed to be a great divide: psychology on one side of the canyon and spirituality on the other side. But now, this gap is closing. On today’s episode, we are privileged to have Dr. Craig Cashwell as our guest. We first met Dr. Cashwell during Module 2 of the PSAP training and used this opportunity to dig deeper into what we learned. As a Mental Health Counselor, Professor, and author, he shares his passion for integrating psychology and spiritualit

Feb 8, 2022 • 40:09

239 - Women's Takeover #1: Healing From Betrayal w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens

When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. She is the author of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and the founding President of APSATS: The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. Dr. Steffens walks us t

Feb 1, 2022 • 47:06

238 - Barriers To Sexual Intimacy w/ Dr. Juli Slattery

Creating emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage can be challenging. This is especially true when sexual brokenness is present in a marriage. Today, Dr. Juli Slattery joins us to talk through barriers couples face when creating sexual intimacy and how we can overcome them. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) AUTHENTIC INTIMACY WEBSITE FIND THE HERO IN YOUR HUSBAND: REVISITED (JULI’S BOOK) JAVA WITH JULI (JULI’S PODCAST)

Jan 25, 2022 • 47:33

237 - Church Hurdles (REPLAY)

As the COVID spike has caused issues with our regularly scheduled podcasts, we thought we would re-release an oldie but goodie episode. Back in December of 2017, we did an interview with Rodney Wright about the hurdles many churches face when it comes to addressing the effects of sexual brokenness. Even though we’re now 4 years later, this episode still rings so true. As the church, we need to continue improving our compassion and competency toward those who are impacted by sexual brokenness and

Jan 18, 2022 • 47:44

236 - Bold Intimacy (Summit '21)

This week's episode is unique. Like so many, COVID has finally visited Nick and Trevor's family. As a pivot, we decided to feature a really powerful message from the 2021 Pure Desire Summit from Rodney Wright. Rodney's message is titled Bold Intimacy. RESOURCES 2022 PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (REGISTER) 2021 PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (PURCHASE LIFETIME ACCESS)

Jan 11, 2022 • 1:02:30

235 - Stages of Recovery

The journey of recovery is a difficult one. While in the recovery journey, it's easy to get discouraged by the process and how long it takes. On today's episode, we identify the five stages of recovery, how long they take, and how these stages help us see the true goal of recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (RECOVERY RESOURCE FOR MEN) BETRAYAL & BEYOND (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR WOMEN) UNRAVELED (RECOVERY RESOURCE FOR WOMEN) HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR M

Jan 4, 2022 • 51:06

234 - 2021: A Year In Review

The year 2021 sort of felt like 2020 part 2. Would you agree? With all the challenging elements of the last year, we need to take a look at the year we just had. Lots of changes (good and bad) can cause stress, anxiety, and, oftentimes, backsliding in our healing journey. On today’s episode, we wrap up 2021 for podcasts. We end the year by talking through some of the highs and lows of 2021, what we’ve learned, and some thoughts on staying healthy while moving into 2022. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VI

Dec 28, 2021 • 44:42

233 - Christmas & Recovery

The Christmas season can be challenging on the recovery and healing journey. This is because Christmas has some good and some bad. Good: spending uplifting time with family and friends, focused on giving gifts. Bad: spending draining amounts of time with a lack of boundaries and spiked anxiety. On today’s episode, we talk through how to manage ourselves and remain healthy during the Christmas season. Believe it or not, it’s possible. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Dec 21, 2021 • 44:41

232 - Helping Friends & Family Heal

Whether it’s with sexual brokenness or betrayal trauma, watching our loved ones battle with it is miserable. For those of us who’ve experienced healing and freedom from our own brokenness or trauma, we know the path of healing well. This makes it so much harder to watch our friends and family have their lives destroyed. This leaves many of us asking: “Is there anything I can do?” Today we answer that question! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) KEEP YOUR LOVE ON BY DANNY SILK EPISODE W/ ROSI

Dec 14, 2021 • 51:55

231 - Stories of Healing: Trevor Winsor

Trevor Winsor is the host of our podcast and today we turn the tables on him. Today, he's our guest and we ask him to share his story of healing. What started as looking for ways to help his students, Trevor stumbled into his own recovery journey. Today, he recounts his recovery journey from wounded and broken to helping others find hope and healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Dec 7, 2021 • 45:10

230 - Healing Different Types of Trauma

Trauma is something we've all faced in life. And trauma comes in a few different variations. Whether it's big traumatic events that rock our world or smaller traumatic events that happen over a long period of time, trauma impacts our lives at a very deep level. On today's episode, we look at the different types of trauma we can experience in life and how to bring healing to each of them. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) TRAUMA CHECKLIST PURE DESIRE COUNSELING

Nov 30, 2021 • 51:59

229 - Crash Site Analysis

Relapse is never something we desire on the recovery journey. But a relapse is one of the best times to evaluate needed steps for sobriety. In today's episode, we look at a tool called the Crash Site Analysis. This tool helps us evaluate our recent relapse and identify the necessary steps for creating sobriety. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) PURE DESIRE GROUPS PURE DESIRE ONLINE GROUPS FASTER SCALE (TOOL) THREE CIRCLES (TOOL)

Nov 23, 2021 • 58:25

228 - Matrix of Addiction

Sobriety and sexual health require a lot of self-awareness. If we want to break free from unwanted sexual behaviors, we have to be aware of our pattern of relapse. On today's episode, we talk about a tool called the Matrix of Addiction. This tool helps us identify our relapse pattern and begin creating sobriety. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Nov 16, 2021 • 48:32

227 - FAQ #12: Sex

Sex is one of the biggest areas of a relationship or individual's life that is impacted by sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Today, we field listener questions on the topic of sex. We cover things like fantasies, fetishes, low-sex drive, sexual anorexia, and more. Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes: Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Message/DM us with your questions RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE’S LINKS: THE GREAT SEX RESCUE (BOOK) SHE

Nov 9, 2021 • 54:24

226 - Stories Of Healing: Nick & Michelle Stumbo

Nick and Michelle looked like they had it all. A good marriage, growing ministry, and a beautiful family. But in secret, Nick's sexual addiction was killing it all from the inside. Though he was a respected pastor, hated his behavior, and confessed often, Nick couldn't break free. This left Michelle at the point of wanting to leave. But that's not how the story ends. Over the past 10 years, their marriage, family, and ministry is thriving. Today, they tell us their story of healing. RESOURCES FU

Nov 2, 2021 • 46:37

225 - A Couples Guide To Conquering Betrayal

Experiencing sexual betrayal is unique. Finding out your spouse has been unfaithful or sexually acting out outside your marriage bed is soul-crushing. Is there hope for those experiencing betrayal trauma? We have Dr. Stefanie Carnes, President of the International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals, on the podcast today to give us guidance for conquering betrayal in a marriage/relationship. She walks us through disclosure, rebuilding trust, and how to heal relationships after sexual

Oct 26, 2021 • 1:02:06

224 - The Enneagram & Recovery Pt. 2 w/ Jeff & Beth McCord

The Enneagram is a personality tool with many helpful aspects. Today, continue our conversation with Jeff and Beth McCord, authors and founders of Your Enneagram Coach, about how the Enneagram can be a helpful tool in recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Today's episode is part 2 of our 2-part interview with the McCord's where we explore how the Enneagram can integrate into our healing and recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) YOURENNEAGRAMCOACH.COM (JEFF & BETH’S WEBSI

Oct 19, 2021 • 1:03:46

223 - The Enneagram & Recovery Pt. 1 w/ Jeff & Beth McCord

The Enneagram is a personality tool with many helpful aspects. Today, we talk to Jeff and Beth McCord, authors and founders of Your Enneagram Coach, about how the Enneagram can be a helpful tool in recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Today's episode is part 1 of our 2-part interview with the McCord's where we explore how the Enneagram can integrate in our healing and recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) YOURENNEAGRAMCOACH.COM (JEFF & BETH’S WEBSITE) 9 ENNEAGRAM TYPES

Oct 12, 2021 • 1:15:16

222 - Rescuing Our Marriages From Porn w/ Sheila Wray Gregoire

Pornography and sexual brokenness are destroying marriages. But what if the messages we are taught about sex are just as damaging? Messages like "all men struggle with porn" or "women shouldn't deprive their husbands of sex" can be detrimental to our marriages. Today, we talk with the author of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Wray Gregoire, about how to rescue our marriages from porn and the negative sex messages we receive from the world and the church. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) TO LO

Oct 5, 2021 • 1:05:13

221 - Stories Of Healing: Harry Flanagan

Harry Flanagan, AKA "Father Flanagan," was a pastor, leader, and influential member of his community. But due to his sexual addiction, all of that was lost. Family, ministry, and sense of purpose. But then Harry was introduced to Dr. Ted Roberts and Pure Desire Ministries. Now, Harry is a clinician and author with Pure Desire. Today, he shares his story of healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) PURE DESIRE COUNSELING SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (RECOVERY RESOURCE FOR MEN)

Sep 28, 2021 • 57:57

220 - Extroverts In Group

There are two different kinds of group members: introverts and extroverts. Both need group. This week, we talk through what being an extrovert in group looks like (how to encourage them in listening and limiting their sharing), how to lead extroverts in group (if they take over a group meeting or advice-give), and how extroverts can best heal in a Pure Desire group setting.RESOURCESFULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)PURE DESIRE GROUP GUIDELINESSEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (RECOVERY GROUP FOR MEN)BETRAYAL &

Sep 21, 2021 • 47:17

219 - Introverts In Group

There are two different kinds of group members: introverts and extroverts. Both need group. This week, we talk through what being an introvert in group looks like (how to engage and feel confident sharing your story), how to lead introverts in group (drawing their sharing out of them without badgering), and how introverts can best heal in a Pure Desire group setting. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) PURE DESIRE GROUP GUIDELINES SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (RECOVERY GROUP FOR MEN) BETRAYAL & B

Sep 14, 2021 • 45:52

218 - Healing Below The Surface

In anticipation of this week's Pure Desire Summit, we wanted to explore the reality of healing happening below the surface. Finding freedom from sexual brokenness or healing from betrayal trauma doesn't happen with behavior modification. It's a deeper healing of our thoughts, feelings, and core beliefs about ourselves, God, and others. Today we explore below the surface healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) REGISTER FOR THE PURE DESIRE SUMMIT THE DIFFERENT PARTS OF ME W/ JENNA RIEMERSM

Sep 7, 2021 • 54:39

217 - Internal Family Systems & Betrayal w/ Jenna Riemersma

Betrayal trauma causes inner chaos. Parts of us want to run away and find safety. Other parts of us want to stay and fix or save. These "parts" of us can wage war, making us feel burnt out and hopeless. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model that identifies these "parts" in us and how they wage war with each other. So much is at stake when choosing to address our trauma, so we must learn to see each part of ourselves as truly welcome. Today, we're joined by IFS practitioner and therapi

Aug 31, 2021 • 1:02:17

216 - Internal Family Systems & Addiction w/ Jenna Riemersma

Anyone struggling with addictions knows the feeling of internal warfare. Parts of us hate the addiction while other parts of us keep pursuing it. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model that identifies these "parts" in us and how they wage war with each other. As these parts fight it out, our unwanted behavior rages and wreaks havoc in our lives. Today, we're joined by IFS practitioner and therapist, Jenna Riemersma to talk about how IFS can help us battle our addictions and truly see h

Aug 24, 2021 • 1:10:51

215 - Free To Thrive w/ Ben Bennett

Ever battled anxiety, doubt, or shame? These often stem from unresolved emotional scars that leave us with unfulfilled longings. We try to fulfill these longings through unhealthy behaviors and relationships that end up hurting instead of helping. This is why Ben Bennett (and Josh McDowell) wrote the book, Free To Thrive!  We talk to Ben about his new book and what thriving really looks like as a follower of Christ. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FREE TO THRIVE BOOK(USE PROMO CODE "BEN"

Aug 17, 2021 • 46:11

214 - Myth Busters: Sex Every 72 Hours

Men and women in the church hear the message "men need sex every 72 hours." Though a regular sex life is good for a marriage, this message can cause damaging effects. Today, we explore this message and identify why it's a myth, discuss the negative impact it has, and what healthy sex looks like in marriage. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) BETHESDA WORKSHOPS (TODAY'S SPONSOR)

Aug 10, 2021 • 57:14

213 - The Effects of Pornography w/ Josh McDowell

Apologist and author, Josh McDowell has spent the past few years focusing on the area of sexual brokenness, specifically pornography. Today, we talk to Josh about what he's learned from years of research on the effects of pornography. We talk about trends we're seeing and what we can do to change the tide of sexual brokenness in our world. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CARE FOR PASTORS (WEBSITE) FREE TO THRIVE (JOSH’S NEW BOOK)

Aug 3, 2021 • 47:41

212 - 7 Keys to Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Betrayal trauma is a real thing. When sexual brokenness and addiction enter a marriage or relationship, betrayal trauma enters with it. But what is betrayal trauma? How does it show itself in a marriage? Today, we talk about 7 keys to understanding what betrayal trauma is and how to heal from it. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) 7 KEYS TO UNDERSTANDING BETRAYAL TRAUMA (FREE EBOOK) RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (BETRAYED SPOUSE) RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (STRUGGLING SPOUSE)

Jul 27, 2021 • 54:59

211 - Stories Of Healing: Evelyn James

When Evelyn found out about her husband's addiction on their honeymoon, everything changed. You'd think it was addressed right then...well, it wasn't. Years later, when Evelyn finally drew her line in the sand, her husband joined a group and started his healing journey. From there, Evelyn experienced her own healing. And now? Well, she’s leading other women through their betrayal trauma and helping them develop self-worth. Today, Evelyn James shares her story of healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE V

Jul 20, 2021 • 50:04

Episode 210 - Hope For Betrayed Men

Though it may not happen as often, men do experience betrayal trauma. Whether it’s their wife’s sexual addiction, affair, or unwanted sexual behavior, men experience betrayal. Is it different for men than it is for women? What can men do if this happens? Who can they talk to? We talk with Rich Moore about his experience of betrayal trauma and talk through what hope for betrayed men looks like. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) HOPE FOR MEN WORKBOOK HOPE FOR MEN ONLINE GROUP MENDED (BOOK) PU

Jul 13, 2021 • 37:54

Episode 209 - Avengers & Recovery

There are many parallels between superhero stories and recovery. In anticipation of the newest release in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we explore themes, storylines, and dynamics of some of our favorite MCU heroes and apply them to our journey through healing and recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Jul 6, 2021 • 42:45

208 - Fight For Love w/ Rosie Makinney

When sexual addiction invades a marriage, the betrayed spouse feels like their life implodes. We can’t make sense of anything and trauma takes place. All this confusion and pain can cause us to get stuck between discovery and recovery. Today, we talk to Rosie Makinney, founder of Fight For Love Ministries, about how to help betrayed women get out of the difficult in-between and into healing and recovery.RESOURCESFULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)FIGHT FOR LOVE (WEBSITE)FIGHT FOR LOVE (BOOK)FIGHT FOR L

Jun 29, 2021 • 59:51

Episode 207 - Sexual Abuse & The Fearless Series

Sexual abuse is more prevalent than many of us realize. Statistics (even inside the church) are astronomical. So, what can we (the church) do about it? We talk to Dr. James and Laura Reeves about addressing sexual abuse in the church and their new video resource, The Fearless Series. We talk about who this series is for, how it helps, and what churches can do to help the women in our churches who've experienced sexual abuse. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) THE FEARLESS SERIES THE FEARLESS

Jun 22, 2021 • 1:02:44

Episode 206 - Stories Of Healing: Ben Bennett

Ben Bennett, director of Resolution Movement (a Josh McDowell Ministry), was stuck in sexual addiction, depression, and anxiety. His sexual addiction was about survival. But through his introduction to Pure Desire, Ben found freedom from addiction. And as the author of Living Free (a recovery resource for college-aged men), Ben is leading others toward thriving in the life God intended for them. Today, we talk through how he went from sexual addiction to thriving. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (Y

Jun 15, 2021 • 1:01:39

Episode 205 - FAQ #11

Are sending intimate pictures of ourselves to our spouse ok? When do we start talking with our kids about sexuality? How do we help our kids if our spouse is addicted? These questions and more on today's Frequently Asked Questions episode. Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes: Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Message/DM us with your questions RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Jun 8, 2021 • 46:51

Episode 204 - The Great Sex Rescue w/ Sheila Wray Gregoire

What if intercourse isn't sex? What if sex is so much more than a sexual act between two people? Author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, joins us today to talk about her new book, The Great Sex Rescue. We talk about what sex really is and how to rescue it from how our world and culture distort it. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) TO LOVE, HONOR, AND VACUUM (SHEILA’S BLOG) BARE MARRIAGE PODCAST (SHEILA’S PODCAST) THE GREAT SEX RESCUE (SHEILA’S NEWEST BOOK)

Jun 1, 2021 • 56:30

Episode 203 - Myth Busters: Emotions Are Bad

Are emotions bad? Point blank: No! So why do so many of us run away from them, avoid them, and disregard them? Today, we talk about the myth so many of us were taught: emotions are bad. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FASTER SCALE (TOOL) INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS PODCAST EPISODE W/ JENNA RIEMERSMA ALTOGETHER YOU (JENNA RIEMERSMA’S BOOK) PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (EVENT)

May 25, 2021 • 57:46

Episode 202 - Stories Of Healing: Asher & Ashley Sears

Asher and Ashley Sears had a typical back and forth marriage with sexual addiction and betrayal. But they don't live that way now! Why is this? Just by chance, Ashley was introduced to a recovery resource and encouraged Asher to pursue it. Neither knew this would kickstart new levels of healing and intimacy in their marriage. Today, we hear their beautiful story of healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) STORIES UNVEILED STORIES UNVEILED CONFERENCE STORIES UNVEILED INSTAGRAM

May 18, 2021 • 57:40

Episode 201 - What If My Struggling Spouse Doesn't Want Healing?

For a marriage to truly heal from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, both spouses need healing. We refer to it as a “family systems issue.” But what if our struggling spouse doesn’t want to pursue healing? Should we continue on our own healing journey? Can we help them? Should we even try to? We talk about this very difficult and very common situation on today’s episode. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FACING HEARTBREAK BY DR. STEFANIE CARNES (BOOK) ALTOGETHER YOU BY JENNA RIEMERSMA (

May 11, 2021 • 58:45

Episode 200 - Favorites, Feedback, and the Future

We made it to 200 episodes! Honestly, it’s because you guys, our listeners! We would not continue recording these episodes if they weren’t helpful and encouraging on the journey to healing and freedom. To celebrate our 200th episode, we decided to mix it up. We’re looking at some of our favorites, some feedback, and what we have coming in the future. Please celebrate with us and tell us your favorite episode! Fill out this quick FORM and enter to win a free Pure Desire Podcast Mug! RESOURCES FU

May 4, 2021 • 46:00

Episode 199 - Help! My Group Member Keeps Relapsing

The recovery process oftentimes includes relapse. This is part of the journey of breaking free from sexual brokenness. But what if we have a group member who continues to relapse over and over again? How do we handle this? How do we encourage them? Do we kick them out of group? We answer all of these questions and more on today's episode! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CRASH SITE ANALYSIS (TOOL) RELAPSE PREVENTION PLAN (TOOL) RECOVERY ACTION PLAN FOR STRUGGLING SPOUSE (TOOL) FASTER SCALE

Apr 27, 2021 • 50:55

Episode 198 - Healing Your Inner Child w/ Drew Boa

Trauma and woundedness enter our lives early. The ways in which a little kid is hurt tend to show up much later in life through unwanted behaviors and emotional numbness. We often don’t view our struggles this way. But that’s why we had Drew Boa (founder of Husband Material Academy) back on the show to discuss our inner child. We talk about how to offer healing to our inner child and what the process entails. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) HUSBAND MATERIAL HUSBAND MATERIAL ACADEMY HUSBAN

Apr 20, 2021 • 48:25

Episode 197 - Accountability vs. Recovery Groups

Both accountability and recovery groups are important! But they are different. And the difference is important. For example: traditional accountability groups put responsibility on the group itself; where recovery groups put the responsibility on the individual. We discuss this difference and four others on today’s episode. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) PURE DESIRE ONLINE GROUPS

Apr 13, 2021 • 41:38

Episode 196 - Porn As A Pacifier w/ Drew Boa

Because of the wounds, trauma, and struggles in life, we often run to easy things to medicate our pain. Pornography is a great soother but ultimately leads to the destruction of life and relationships. On today’s podcast, we sat down with the founder of Husband Material Academy, Drew Boa, and talked about how porn is used as a pacifier in our lives and what it looks like to soothe ourselves in healthy ways. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) HUSBAND MATERIAL HUSBAND MATERIAL ACADEMY HUSBAND

Apr 6, 2021 • 58:05

Episode 195 - Stories Of Healing: Clint & Charity Muñoz

Clint and Charity Muñoz are thriving in marriage and ministry. But it hasn't always been that way. Sexual addiction reared its head in their marriage and brought destruction with it. But, through a trusted process and hard work, Clint and Charity are leading others into the same healing they've experienced. Today, we hear their story of healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) RESTORED 2 MORE RESTORED 2 MORE PODCAST RESTORED 2 MORE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Mar 30, 2021 • 56:35

Episode 194 - Tools For Betrayal: Three Circles

A common tool on the recovery journey is the Relapse Prevention Tool (also known as the Three Circles). This tool helps with what the name suggests: relapse prevention. So, why would someone experiencing betrayal trauma use this tool? Today, we explore how this tool can help betrayed spouses. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) 3 CIRCLES TOOL FASTER SCALE TOOL BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR WOMEN) HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR MEN) PURE DESIRE COUNSELING

Mar 23, 2021 • 40:29

Episode 193 - Tools For Betrayal: Recovery Action Plan

When sexual addiction enters our marriage, it often feels as if it came out of nowhere. Betrayal trauma hits us like a high-speed train, laying us flat. But do we need to stay flat on the ground? We don’t believe so. We can start to get back up with tools like the Recovery Action Plan. Today, we talk about how this tool helps create safety and puts a process in place to establish boundaries and consequences to bring about restoration in relationships. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) RECOV

Mar 16, 2021 • 57:03

Episode 192 - Tools For Betrayal: Commitment To Change & Double Bind

How does a weekly commitment to change help us heal from betrayal trauma? It helps us face our double-binds (rock-and-hard-place). Today, we explore how a Commitment to Change and addressing our double-binds brings healing for betrayal trauma. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) COMMITMENT TO CHANGE (TOOL) BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS

Mar 9, 2021 • 49:17

Episode 191 - Tools For Betrayal: FASTER Scale

Betrayal trauma is very real. But healing from it isn't always clear. Self-awareness is one of the biggest steps to beginning to heal from betrayal. This week, we talk about how betrayed spouses/individuals can use the FASTER Scale (awareness tool) to bring healing into their lives. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FASTER SCALE (TOOL) BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS ONE-SIDED HEALING (PODCAST)

Mar 2, 2021 • 57:08

Episode 190 - Stories Of Healing: Joe McCarthy

Joe McCarthy is a successful restaurant owner, leads Pure Desire groups, and is incredibly passionate about helping men break free of addiction and shame. But it wasn't always that way. Alcoholism and a pornography addiction plagued Joe for a large portion of his life. Starting in AA, Joe found that healing was possible. We talk to Joe about his powerful story of breaking free of sexual brokenness and how he is now leading others into the freedom they most desire. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (Y

Feb 23, 2021 • 42:32

Episode 189 - Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse is not talked about enough. Abusive patterns can exist for years and even decades before we realize it’s actually abuse. These situations definitely play out in the realm of sexual addiction and brokenness. Today, we talk about how to identify domestic abuse, how to create a space to talk about it, and what we can do about it. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS

Feb 16, 2021 • 48:12

Episode 188 - Same-Sex Attraction w/ John Fort

What does recovery look like if we are attracted to the same sex? Is it something we can heal from? Does it ever go away? What if our spouse is attracted to the same sex? We discuss these questions with John Fort, Director of Training for Be Broken Ministries, as he shares his story of same-sex attraction and addiction. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) HONEST TALK: A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX (JOHN’S BOOK) BE BROKEN MINISTRIES

Feb 9, 2021 • 53:11

Episode 187 - Overcoming Brokenness w/ Paul Young

Healing brokenness requires facing brokenness. Paul Young is known as a #1 New York Times bestselling author, but people might not know that trauma and abuse entered Paul’s life at a very early age. Trauma then ran up against addiction, Christian paradigms, and fear of exposure. On today’s episode, Paul shares his story of brokenness and what it took to face the damage his brokenness caused. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) THE PASTOR: A CRISIS (PAUL’S NEW BOOK)

Feb 2, 2021 • 1:05:45

Episode 186 - God & The LGBT Community w/ Janet Boynes

Historically, the church struggles on how to best minister to the LGBT community. Our guest today, Janet Boynes, knows this first hand. After living as a lesbian for over a decade, God called Janet out of her lifestyle and into ministry. On today's episode, Janet helps us hear God's heart for our LGBT brothers and sisters and how churches can come alongside and love on them. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CALLED OUT INTERNATIONAL (JANET’S MINISTRY) GOD & SEXUALITY: TRUTH & RELEVANCE WITH

Jan 26, 2021 • 1:08:19

Episode 185 - What If My Betrayed Spouse Doesn't Want Healing?

For a marriage to truly heal from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, both spouses need healing. We refer to it as a "family systems issue." But what if our betrayed spouse doesn't want to pursue healing? Should we continue on our own journey? Can we help them? Should we even try to? We talk about this very difficult and very common situation on today's episode. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Jan 19, 2021 • 53:09

Episode 184 - Groups For Young Women

The rate of increasing exposure and addiction to pornography is growing rapidly in the lives of young women. Statistics say it's the fastest-growing rate among all demographics. That's a problem. What can we do? We can run Behind The Mask groups for young women. On today's episode, we discuss the content, group structure, leadership, and impact of running these groups for students/young adults in the church. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) BEHIND THE MASK (RESOURCE FOR YOUNG WOMEN WHO STR

Jan 12, 2021 • 1:01:39

Episode 183 - Growing Connection In Marriage

Intimacy in marriage doesn't just happen. It takes being intentional and working together to establish healthy intimacy in our relationships. That's why we created a resource to help: Connected. On today's episode, we talk through our Connected resource and how it helps couples build a bridge to the intimacy they've always wanted. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CONNECTED: BUILDING A BRIDGE TO INTIMACY SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (STRUGGLING MEN) BETRAYAL & BEYOND (BETRAYED WOMEN) UNRAVELED:

Jan 5, 2021 • 44:16

Episode 182 - 2020: In Review

The year 2020 was traumatic, painful, and stressful for so many. Loss, brokenness, and disruption were felt by all. Whether it was the Coronavirus, racial injustice, fires, presidential elections, or anything in between: 2020 was packed full of difficulty. But, were there any positives to 2020? Anything we learned? Any helpful perspectives we can carry into a new year? We talk about this and more on today’s podcast. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) PODCAST SURVEY FASTER SCALE COMMITMENT TO

Dec 29, 2020 • 44:40

Episode 181 - Present For The Holidays: Double Binds

The holidays can easily put us in those rock-and-a-hard-place situations. Our ability to manage and maneuver through these situations is tied directly to our health. On today's episode, we identify double binds that arise during the holidays, how they impact our sexual health, and the positive outcomes of handling them well.

Dec 22, 2020 • 39:37

Episode 180 - Present For The Holidays: Managing Stress

The holidays can be stressful. There's no way around it. And stress is very connected to unwanted sexual behaviors. For that reason, managing stress during the holidays is essential to sexual health. On today's episode, we talk about stress during the holidays, how it shows up, and healthy ways to manage it.

Dec 15, 2020 • 48:19

Episode 179 - Present For The Holidays: Relationships

The holidays, though often presented as a joyous time, actually can be a stressful time for relationships. For that reason, being present in our relationships is crucial to staying in health. Today, we talk about why relationships can be so difficult during this season, how to avoid isolation, and creative ways to invest in relationships during the holidays. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Dec 8, 2020 • 48:40

Episode 178 - Present For The Holidays: Emotional Awareness

The holidays, though often presented as a joyous time, actually can be an extremely emotional time for so many. For that reason, being present with our emotions is crucial in maintaining health. Today, we talk about what emotional awareness is, how to get more of it, who it impacts, and why it's important in our health and recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FASTER SCALE (SELF-AWARENESS TOOL) THOUGHTS/FEELINGS AWARENESS LOG

Dec 1, 2020 • 46:12

Episode 177 - Re-Solution w/ Ben Bennett

Are we reaching the next generations? This is a scary question to ask. But if we don’t ask, we might not get the answer. Today, it’s one of the biggest areas of ministry for followers of Jesus. How do we help the next generations live into the life God has for them? Ben Bennett, director of Resolution, joins us to talk about how we can help the younger generations of our day overcome their hurts, struggles, and learn to thrive. RESOURCES THE TOP REASONS YOUNG PEOPLE DROP OUT OF CHURCH (BLOG) LIV

Nov 24, 2020 • 57:31

Episode 176 - How To Start The Conversation At Your Church

If we want to create a safe place for healing from the effects of sexual brokenness in our churches, we have to start the conversation. On today’s episode, we walk through 7 steps to starting this conversation at your church. RESOURCES HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION ABOUT PURE DESIRE GROUPS (PDF) SEXUAL INTEGRITY 101 VIDEO COURSE DEVELOPING A PURE DESIRE MINISTRY (PDF)

Nov 17, 2020 • 50:05

175 - Honesty vs. Disclosure

Honesty in recovery is non-negotiable. But is honesty the same thing as disclosure? On today's episode, we talk through the difference between honesty and disclosure in the recovery process.RESOURCESHONESTLY SPEAKING (BLOG)RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (STRUGGLING SPOUSE)RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (BETRAYED SPOUSE)

Nov 10, 2020 • 52:43

Episode 174 - Boundaries In Recovery

When addiction and betrayal are present in a relationship, boundaries will be essential to healing. But how do we know if boundaries are a legit need or excessive? How do we agree on the boundaries we need? We talk this and more on today's episode. RESOURCES RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (ADDICT) RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (BETRAYED SPOUSE) FREE CLINICAL CONSULTATION PURE DESIRE COUNSELING

Nov 3, 2020 • 1:08:19

Episode 173 - No Shame Churches

No pastor/leader sets out to create a culture of shame in their church. But it happens. Today, with the help of Rodney Wright, we unpack how we inadvertently create a culture of shame in our churches, how to shift the culture, and the impact a safe place can truly be. RESOURCES SEXUAL INTEGRITY 101 VIDEO COURSE PURE DESIRE ONLINE GROUPS

Oct 27, 2020 • 53:16

Episode 172 - The Female Addict & Unraveled

Women who struggle with pornography tend to be overlooked. Culturally, far too many in the church believe this is just a man's struggle. On today's episode, Ashley Jameson helps us identify what addiction looks like for women, how to help them, and what it looks like to create a culture where women can ask for help in this arena. RESOURCES SEXUAL ADDICTION SCREENING TEST LOVE ADDICTION EVALUATION UNRAVELED KIT UNRAVELED (PODCAST EPISODE) JULI SLATTERY ON PURE DESIRE PODCAST

Oct 20, 2020 • 46:39

Episode 171 - Lapse vs. Relapse

As we move forward in our recovery, we can run into gray areas when it comes to our patterns and habits. Our clinical director, Tyler Chinchen helps us venture into one of those gray areas: lapse vs. relapse. What is the difference? Who should know? What should we do if a lapse happens? This and more on today's episode. RESOURCES RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (ADDICT) RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (BETRAYED SPOUSE) 3 CIRCLES (RELAPSE PREVENTION TOOL) PODCAST CRASH SITE ANALYSIS

Oct 13, 2020 • 47:13

Episode 170 - Stories Of Healing: Rich Moore

Rich was on the verge of spending 49 years in prison–the first person in Oregon State history to be charged under Measure 11. Many decisions and experiences led him to this point, but Rich didn't spend a single day in prison. Now, 23 years later, he's been leading and running Pure Desire groups for two decades. How is this possible? Rich joins us on the podcast to share his story.

Oct 6, 2020 • 49:41

Episode 169 - Myth Busters: Time Heals All Wounds

Many of us were taught that time heals all wounds. But, as we discuss in today's episode, that is not reality. Time doesn't heal wounds. We talk about why that is and what does actually heal our wounds.

Sep 29, 2020 • 46:50

Episode 168 - Sexual Trauma

Something that we often hear about in the area of sexual brokenness is sexual trauma. Sadly, it’s such a common experience for so many. Today, we wanted to talk about sexual trauma, how it affects our lives, and how to find healing from it. RESOURCES PURE DESIRE COUNSELING PURE DESIRE GROUPS BETHESDA WORKSHOPS 3 CIRCLES TOOL (RELAPSE PREVENTION)

Sep 22, 2020 • 59:17

Episode 167 - Creating Safe Spaces w/ Keith Jenkins

What does it look like to create churches/communities that are safe? Keith Jenkins–a pastor, black man, and a military veteran–joins us today and helps us think through how to best process through the challenging political, racial, and divisive times we live in.

Sep 15, 2020 • 1:01:40

Episode 166 - How To Talk To Your Spouse About Sex

One of the best ways to create a healthier sex life with your spouse is communication. Today, we sit down Dan and Jenn Howie to discuss why it can be so difficult to talk to your spouse about sex. We also discuss how to talk to each other and what it looks like to improve that communication.

Sep 8, 2020 • 45:00

Episode 165 - FAQ #10

How do we discuss our struggles with our spouse? How do moms help their young sons? Is masturbation a sin? These questions and more on today's Frequently Asked Questions episode. Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes: Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Message/DM us with your questions RESOURCES HOW TO TALK WITH YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX PURE DESIRE COUNSELING TECH ACTION PLAN WHAT HUSBANDS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MENOPAUSE (FOCUS ON THE FAMILY ARTICLE)

Sep 1, 2020 • 1:06:45

Episode 164 - Ending Group Well

Each recovery and support group is going to end someday. But that doesn’t mean that the healing will end. How our groups come to a close can set a trajectory for forward motion in our recovery and healing. Ending the group is not only important and it is very possible. RESOURCES CHALLENGE COINS GENESIS PROCESS SUPPLEMENTAL COUNSELING (RECOVERY FOR STRUGGLING) SUPPLEMENTAL COUNSELING (SUPPORT FOR BETRAYAL) ONLINE GROUPS

Aug 25, 2020 • 44:39

Episode 163 - The Soul Of Shame w/ Curt Thompson

Shame is a powerful force in the world, one that drives many of our unwanted behaviors. Today, we are joined by Dr. Curt Thompson, a psychiatrist, speaker, and author, who walks us through what shame is, how we often misunderstand it, and how it can be used to lead us to a better relationship with God and others. RESOURCES CURTTHOMPSONMD.COM CURT'S WRITING: ANATOMY OF THE SOUL THE SOUL OF SHAME A BODY OF WORK (BLOG)

Aug 18, 2020 • 1:20:34

Episode 162 - Student Groups

If we want to see future generations live in sexual health, we have to equip them with the tools they need. Today's episode is focused on recovery groups for students. Who should lead them, how to get students interested, and the impact these groups can have in our world. RESOURCES TOP GUN BEHIND THE MASK LIVING FREE GROUP GUIDELINES (PODCAST) GROUP GUIDELINES (TOOL) MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING (TOOL)

Aug 11, 2020 • 42:53

Episode 161 - Talking With Your Adult Kids

Today we talk with Dan and Jenn Howie about sharing their story of sexual brokenness with their adult kids. We talk about what to share, when to share, and why it's important to share with our kids, regardless of their age.

Aug 4, 2020 • 50:17

Episode 160 - The Different Parts Of Me w/ Jenna Riemersma

Have you ever echoed the musing of the Apostle Paul, "For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do"? You're not alone! Many of us have this experience–feeling like there are different parts of us that want different things. Those feelings are not abnormal. On today's episode, we talked with Jenna Riemersma about Internal Family Systems–a revolutionary approach to understanding why we do things we don't want to do and have such a hard time doing wha

Jul 28, 2020 • 1:07:34

Episode 159 - Sexual Integrity 101

So many men, women, and churches struggle with knowing where to start in the area of unwanted sexual behavior. How do we find freedom from the struggle? How do we experience healing from betrayal? How do we help our people navigate sexual brokenness? We have the answer: our new 8-week video course, Sexual Integrity 101! RESOURCES SEXUAL INTEGRITY 101 VIDEO COURSE

Jul 21, 2020 • 38:50

Episode 158 - Recovery Tools: Recovery Action Plan

Another relapse happens...what do you do? The Recovery Action Plan is a prepared course of action so you know exactly what to do, who to talk to, and what re-establishing trust will look like. Today we talk about how this tool not only gives us a post-relapse plan of action but also is an amazing deterrent for future relapse. RESOURCES RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (ADDICT) RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (BETRAYED)

Jul 14, 2020 • 1:00:37

Episode 157 - Recovery Tools: Phone Calls

Have you ever heard the phrase, "An oldie but a goodie?" Though we live in a world of messaging and social media communication, there is tons of value in making a simple phone call. Today we talk about the importance of phone calls on the road to recovery.

Jul 7, 2020 • 41:41

Episode 156 - Recovery Tools: 3 Circles

Many of us keep returning to those old unwanted behaviors. Why is that? Far too many of us just focus on what not to do instead of creating a plan toward what we want to do. The 3 Circles tool helps us identify what we want to stop, guardrails to keep us from it, and the healthy habits we need for change.  RESOURCES 3 CIRCLES TOOL

Jun 30, 2020 • 45:09

Episode 155 - Recovery Tools: Commitment to Change

Have you ever had a behavior you wanted to stop but couldn't? What if there was a tool to help you put practical steps in place to make the changes you want to see? Enter: the Commitment to Change tool.

Jun 23, 2020 • 1:00:08

Episode 154 - Recovery Tools: Double Bind

We all find ourselves in rock-and-a-hard-place situations. No one lives without them. That's even more true when battling unwanted sexual behavior. Today we talk through a tool that helps flesh out these situations and how we can use it to bring about the change we're looking for.

Jun 16, 2020 • 33:11

Episode 153 - Recovery Tools: FASTER Scale

Healing and recovery happen only through self-awareness. Today we revisit an old friend on the recovery journey: the FASTER Scale. This self-awareness tool is essential on the road to healing from unwanted sexual behavior. We talk what it is, best practices, mistakes commonly made, and more.

Jun 9, 2020 • 1:04:13

Episode 152 - Leading Unraveled Groups

Leading addiction recovery groups can be challenging. Especially when leading women through them. Women struggle with unique levels of shame and hopelessness when it comes to love, sex, and relationships. That's why we talk through how to best lead women through Unraveled Groups.  RESOURCES EPISODE 095 – UNRAVELED: MANAGING LOVE, SEX, AND RELATIONSHIPS EPISODE 120 – ONLINE GROUPS UNRAVELED KIT JOIN A GROUP GROUP GUIDELINES REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS

Jun 2, 2020 • 36:23

Episode 151 - Porn Free w/ Matt Dobschuetz

We sat down for a mash-up episode with Matt Dobschuetz of Porn-Free Radio on today's episode. We talked about freedom, integrity, church culture, and a bunch of other random topics.  RESOURCES PORN-FREE RADIO PODCAST RECOVEREDMAN.COM 7 PILLARS OF FREEDOM ONLINE RECOVERY GROUPS

May 26, 2020 • 1:04:10

Episode 150 - Betrayed Spouse & Legal Issues

Sexual addiction affects more than the person struggling. Especially when there are legal ramifications. Today we ask Jenn Howie how she maneuvered through the legal issues caused by sexual addiction in her previous marriage.

May 19, 2020 • 56:00

Episode 149 - Sexual Abuse Of Women In The Bible

Sexual abuse of women is sadly not only something that is present today, we see that it goes back even into biblical times. Our guest, Julianna Smith, a Ph.D. student researching the abuse of women in the Bible, gives us her findings while also helping us identify ways the church can push back against sexual abuse of women.

May 12, 2020 • 57:45

Episode 148 - PD-L Program

Where can pastors go if they struggle with sexually compulsive behaviors? What options do they have to get healthy? We talk to a denomination president and a local pastor about the Pure Desire Leaders (PD-L) program and how it's helped their denomination create a safe place for their pastors to get healthy. RESOURCES PURE DESIRE LEADERS (PD-L) PROGRAM

May 5, 2020 • 43:09

Episode 147 - Myth Busters: Not In My Church

Many leaders and church-goers buy into the myth that sexual addiction doesn't impact their churches. Today, we dive into this myth and unpack why it is that we ignore the reality of sexual brokenness in our churches. We also talk through what someone can do if they see the reality when their leaders do not, and why it's so essential to have a recovery ministry for those impacted by sexual brokenness.

Apr 28, 2020 • 43:33

Episode 146 - Groups Launch Night

As we begin Pure Desire groups in our churches and communities, it's so important how we communicate them, making it clear what purpose they serve. On today's episode, we talk about the importance of a groups launch night, what the night should look like, and what major things to avoid. RESOURCES MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING (ONLINE GROUP) FASTER SCALE PURE DESIRE ONLINE GROUPS LEGAL ISSUES IN GROUP (PODCAST) LEGAL ISSUES IN GROUP (BLOG)

Apr 21, 2020 • 36:56

145 - Stories of Healing: Dan & Jenn Howie

We sit down with Dan and Jenn Howie to hear their incredible story of healing from the pain and trauma of sexual addiction. They describe how it affected their previous marriages, how it impacted their kids, and what they've learned throughout the process of healing.

Apr 14, 2020 • 51:39

Episode 144 - Relationships In Recovery

How do our relationships change when we begin our recovery journey? Do we share our process with everyone? No one? How do we be open and honest about our process while protecting our confidential groups? We talk all this and more on today's episode.

Apr 7, 2020 • 51:56

Episode 143 - Getting Healthy Before Marriage w/ Drew Boa

Everyone wants a healthy marriage. And all of us, if we could, would go back and prepare ourselves better for walking into marriage. On today's episode, we talk to Drew Boa (founder of Husband Material and a licensed PSAP) about the why, the how, and the benefits of getting healthy sexually before marriage. RESOURCES DREWBOA.COM HUSBAND MATERIAL For Husband Material scholarships – email Drew:  DREW@HUSBANDMATERIAL.COM

Mar 31, 2020 • 57:30

Episode 142 - Facing Your Fantasies

Sexual fantasies are a difficult topic to dive into. Whether it's shame or the uncomfortable nature of sharing them, this is an area for many men/women that is avoided. Our guest, founder of Husband Material, author, and a PSAP, Drew Boa talks us through the power of wading into our fantasies and the health that's waiting for us on the other side. RESOURCES Drew’s Resources: HUSBAND MATERIAL SEXUAL FANTASY FRAMEWORK FLOSS METHOD Pure Desire Resources: EPISODE 060 – AROUSAL TEMPLATE CRASH SITE AN

Mar 24, 2020 • 49:39

Episode 141 - How To Stay Healthy In World Crisis

In the midst of a world crisis, it's easy to slip back into unhealthy habits and behaviors. In today's episode, we give 5 tips on how to stay healthy even in the midst of the COVID-19/Coronavirus pandemic. RESOURCES GROUP GUIDELINES – EPISODE 043 LEADING BETRAYAL & BEYOND GROUPS – EPISODE 079 LEADING 7 PILLARS GROUPS – EPISODE 088 LEADING CONQUER GROUPS – EPISODE 065

Mar 17, 2020 • 31:51

Episode 140 - Pirate Monks w/ Nate Larkin

Having a safe place to be open and honest about our struggles is so essential to healing in the area of our sexuality. Our guest, the founder of Samson Society and author, Nate Larkin, tells of his experience as a sex addict growing up in the church and ministry and shares how he finally found freedom. RESOURCES SAMSONSOCIETY.COM SAMSON AND THE PIRATE MONKS (NATE’S BOOK) I AM SECOND (NATE’S VIDEO)

Mar 10, 2020 • 1:06:13

Episode 139 - Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot w/ Mo Isom

Too often in the church, pornography and sexually compulsive behaviors are viewed as just a man's issue. But our guest today, New York Times Best-Selling Author, Mo Isom, blows up that paradigm and presses into her own story and how the culture in the church around sexuality must change. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) MOISOM.COM SEX, JESUS, AND THE CONVERSATIONS THE CHURCH FORGOT (MO’S BOOK) SEX AND JESUS (VIDEO COURSE)

Mar 3, 2020 • 1:04:09

Episode 138 - Infamous Group Members: The Slacker

Having difficult group members is a potential for any Pure Desire group. Today, we address the infamous group member known as The Slacker. How does not doing our group work hurt the group? What do we do if we're a group leader of a slacker? How do we help ensure all members do their work? RESOURCES COMMITMENT TO CHANGE TOOL GROUP GUIDELINES

Feb 25, 2020 • 45:58

Episode 137 - Infamous Group Members: The Advice-Giver

Having difficult group members is a potential for any Pure Desire group. Today, we address the infamous group member known as The Advice-Giver. What do we do if we have a group member always giving advice? What if we are the advice-giver? How do we create a group experience without advice-giving?

Feb 18, 2020 • 46:53

Episode 136 - Infamous Group Members: The Late-Comer

Having difficult group members is a potential for any Pure Desire group. Today, we address the infamous group member known as The Late-Comer. What do we do if we have someone in our group who's always showing up late? How do we help if we're the leader or a fellow group member? How do we change our own lateness issue?

Feb 11, 2020 • 38:28

Episode 135 - Infamous Group Members: The Over-Talker

Having difficult group members is a potential for any Pure Desire group. Today, we address the infamous group member known as The Over-Talker. What do we do if we have an over-talker in our group? What do we do if we're the leader or just a group member? What do we do if we're the over-talker?

Feb 4, 2020 • 35:06

Episode 134 - New Year, Renewed Freedom

We see that as we grow in our health, there are layers to even more freedom to be experienced. What if we feel stuck in our recovery? How do we break out of that stuckness and get to those next layers of freedom? How do we know we've reached a new layer? We talk all this on today's episode. RESOURCES FASTER SCALE UNRAVELED (Recovery Resource for Women) 7 PILLARS OF FREEDOM (Recovery Resource for Men) BETRAYAL & BEYOND (Betrayal Resource for Women) HOPE FOR MEN (Betrayal Resource for Men)

Jan 28, 2020 • 49:17

Episode 133 - New Year, Renewed Awareness

We see that self-awareness is one of the biggest keys to growing in any area. So, with this new decade upon us, what does it look like to grow in that self-awareness? How do we find areas where we need more of it? How do we practically grow in it? And is there such a thing as "too much" self-awareness? We talk this and more! RESOURCES THE SOUL OF SHAME by Curt Thompson FASTER SCALE RECOVERY ACTION PLAN ESCAPE PLAN ENNEAGRAM INSTITUTE

Jan 21, 2020 • 50:33

Episode 132 - New Year, Renewed Relationships

When creating new goals, we rarely focus on our relationships. It's easy to create goals/rhythms that are measurable. But creating goals and achieving them in our relationships is much tougher. Today we talk about what, how, and why of creating goals for renewed relationships in 2020. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Jan 14, 2020 • 51:09

Episode 131 - New Year, Renewed Rhythms

With the start of a new decade, many of us are trying to maintain the goals we've set. But what if, instead of creating new goals, we focused on implementing new rhythms? On today's episode, we discuss the difference between rhythms and goals, how we know what areas we need growth in, and how to create sustainable change in our lives. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Jan 7, 2020 • 43:43

Episode 130 - Starting The New Year Right!

As we end a new decade, it's easy for us to focus on the future. Questions like, "Who do I want to become?" or "What growth do I need?" are quick to come to mind. Today, we cover some thoughts on what it looks like to start a new year and a new decade right! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Dec 31, 2019 • 31:14

Episode 129 - The Greatest Gift You'll Give

It's Christmas time! Every Christmas, the act of giving easily becomes primary in our minds. But what sort of gifts are we giving? Are they small and short-term? Or are there gifts that we can give others that create new trajectory and health in our lives? We talk through the greatest gift you can give others! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Dec 24, 2019 • 30:57

Episode 128 - Drop Your Shame (w/ Ben Bennett)

Ben Bennett, author, speaker, and leader of a new initiative with Josh McDowell, joins us today to talk about shame. We walk through 5 steps to dropping shame off of ourselves and how to live a shame-free life. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) SELF-IMAGE: FIVE STEPS TO OVERCOME SHAME (Ben’s blog) LIVING FREE by Ben Bennett (College Age resource) UPRISING WEBSITE

Dec 17, 2019 • 1:05:35

Episode 127 - Healthy vs. Sober

What does sexual health look like? Is it sobriety? Or is it more? On today's episode, we discuss the difference between holistic health and sobriety, and how pursuing each plays out in recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FASTER SCALE (TOOL)

Dec 10, 2019 • 36:34

Episode 126 - Building a Bridge to Intimacy

"Intimacy" has become a junk-drawer term today. What does it really mean? Why is it important in relationships? And how can it be created and maintained in our relationships? We talk through these questions on today's episode! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CONNECTED (Marriage Resource) HLP EXERCISE

Dec 3, 2019 • 53:17

Episode 125 - Myth Busters: Christians Can't Be Addicted

We know that addiction is a part of this world. But there seems to be a tension between being a Christian and also struggling with an addiction. Today we talk through why the church is afraid of the word "addiction," understanding God's power in addictions, and steps needed to break free from addiction. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Nov 26, 2019 • 33:31

Episode 124 - How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex

We have a new resource out for parents! A book simply titled, How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex. We sat down with the authors, Rodney and Traci Wright to discuss all things this book. We explore this tough topic and give a peek inside the book! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) HOW TO TALK WITH YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX (BOOK)

Nov 19, 2019 • 52:58

123 - Moral Failure of Public Figures

With the recent news of another public figure in the Christian realm admitting to destructive sexual behaviors, we find ourselves asking, "Is this going to keep happening?" On today's episode, we discuss why this seems to keep happening, how we should respond, what we should do about it, and more!RESOURCESFULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pur

Nov 12, 2019 • 38:04

Episode 122 - Promoting Groups

Promoting groups for sexual brokenness and betrayal is not an easy task. How do you invite others in? What is the best way to do sign-ups? Where should we announce them? In this episode, we jump in on how to best promote Pure Desire groups in your church or community. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) PURE DESIRE ONLINE GROUPS

Nov 5, 2019 • 43:31

Episode 121 - 5 Tips to Sharing Your Story

There is tremendous power in sharing our story of God's healing. We discuss 5 tips on crafting a powerful telling of the healing we've experienced in ways that diminish shame, paint a real picture of healing, and invite others into their own healing.

Oct 29, 2019 • 33:48

Episode 120 - Online Groups

Pure Desire now offers a BRAND NEW way to find healing from sexual brokenness and betrayal: ONLINE GROUPS. We talk about the new online group system and format, we talk about the Certified Group Leaders who lead them, and what you can expect in a Pure Desire Online Group! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) PURE DESIRE ONLINE GROUPS

Oct 22, 2019 • 40:21

Episode 119 - Isolation

We find that isolation is the breeding ground of shame and addiction. So, what is isolation? What does it look like? How do we know when we're isolating? If we are, how do we break out of isolation? We talk all of these things on today's episode! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Oct 15, 2019 • 30:06

Episode 118 - FAQ #9

Is demonic possession present in sexual addiction? When do you disclose to a boyfriend/girlfriend? Are sexual aids ok in the marriage bed? How much is too much to share? These questions and more on today's #PDFAQ episode. Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes: Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Use the subject line: PD PODCAST DM/Message us RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Oct 8, 2019 • 40:52

Episode 117 - Separation & Divorce

Separation and divorce are a harsh reality for some on the road to recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal. We talk through how to handle the shame, if it affects our relationship with God, maintaining sobriety throughout, and more. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) EPISODE 070 – STORIES OF HEALING: MIKE MAXWELL

Oct 1, 2019 • 57:19

Episode 116 - Myth Busters: Sexual Addiction Is About Sex

Sexual Addiction Is About Sex = Myth. We sit down to talk about why sexual addiction is not about sex, what it truly is about, how to find freedom, and how to help others avoid buying into the myth. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) UNWANTED: HOW SEXUAL BROKENNESS REVEALS OUR WAY TO HEALING by Jay Stringer

Sep 24, 2019 • 31:57

Episode 115 - Love, Sex, and Dating

Our guest hosts dive right into some of the most frequently asked questions when it comes to love, sex, and dating. Questions like: how far is too far? When is the right time to discuss my sexual history? What are some practical boundaries to keep my relationship pure? And even more.

Sep 17, 2019 • 40:43

Episode 114 - Generational Curses

We see in Scripture that Generational Curses are a part of sin entering our world. But are they still a thing today? How do we know we are suffering from generational curses? How do we break free from them? We talk this and more on today's episode.

Sep 10, 2019 • 1:01:16

Episode 113 - Women & Sex

We have a surprise for you on today's episode. Two guests take over the podcast and talk through frequently asked questions from women regarding sex. This is an episode you won't want to miss! RESOURCES Contact Info: Heather Kolbheatherk@puredesire.org  Ashley Jameson ashleyj@puredesire.org  SEX DURING RECOVERY – EPISODE 057 MOMS & SEX BLOG UNRAVELED: MANAGING LOVE, SEX, AND RELATIONSHIPS

Sep 3, 2019 • 36:24

Episode 112 - Stories of Healing: Scott & Cassie Spicer

We sat down with Scott & Cassie Spicer to hear their story of overcoming addiction and betrayal in their marriage. We discuss when they realized it was a problem, how they finally found freedom, and the impact it has made on their lives. This is a beautiful story of redemption and hope.  RESOURCES REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS PD-LEADERS PROGRAM  7 PILLARS OF FREEDOM BETRAYAL & BEYOND PURE DESIRE COUNSELING PURE DESIRE GROUPS EXPOSEDby James & Teri Kraft

Aug 27, 2019 • 1:00:13

111 - Group Leaders & Disclosure

Leading group members through the disclosure process is a very difficult thing for a group leader. Today's episode, we dive into how to handle it, what are do's and don'ts, and what the role of the group leader is in the disclosure process of the group. RESOURCES EPISODE 106 – FULL DISCLOSURE THE DISCLOSURE PROCESS

Aug 20, 2019 • 42:09

110 – What Parents Need To Know About Porn

Pornography is becoming more and more mainstream in our culture. As parents, this means we cannot disengage the topic and hope for the best for our kids. Today's episode, we dive into what parents need to know about porn, how to talk to your kids about it, and what your role looks like in the sexual health of your kids.

Aug 13, 2019 • 46:59

109 – Developing As A Group Leader

Being a Pure Desire Group Leader is hard work. And because of the nature of the work, developing as a leader is a necessity. Today, Nick and Trevor talk to Ashley Jameson about what it looks like to get better as a PD Group Leader. RESOURCES REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS (RGA’S) REGISTER YOUR GROUP RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (TOOL) PURE DESIRE CONFERENCE UNWANTED (BOOK) – JAY STRINGER RETHINKING SEXUALITY (BOOK) – DR. JULI SLATTERY

Aug 6, 2019 • 35:27

108 – Sexual Discipleship w/ Dr. Juli Slattery

We talk to Dr. Juli Slattery about what she calls "Sexual Discipleship." She describes the difficulty of talking about sex in the church, how it changes the church, how sexual discipleship changes the culture, and how it all should look in the church. RESOURCES AUTHENTIC INTIMACY WEBSITE RETHINKING SEXUALITY (BOOK) JULI SLATTERY ON FACEBOOK

Jul 30, 2019 • 50:55

107 – Summer Sobriety 2

Sobriety during the summer is oftentimes a difficult task. On today's episode, we talk through 5 tips on how to maintain healthy sexuality through the summer months. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

Jul 23, 2019 • 28:24

106 – Full Disclosure

Disclosure is a part of the recovery process. It's a very difficult one, but very necessary. We talk through the definition, purpose, and benefits of a full disclosure. And we also talk through what a proper full disclosure should look like.

Jul 16, 2019 • 49:41

105 – Soul Ties

Scripture describes sexual sin as one that uniquely affects the body. Today's episode, we spend time talking through Soul Ties. Diane Roberts joins us to talk about what Soul Ties are, how to identify them, and how to break free from them.

Jul 9, 2019 • 50:43

104 – Healthy Sex Life

Everyone wants a healthy sex life. Period. But what does it actually mean to have one? How often should married couples have sex? What qualifies as good sex? How do you improve the health of your sex life?

Jul 2, 2019 • 44:14

103 – Relapse & Recovery

Relapse often becomes almost a swear word in the journey to recovery. But what qualifies as a relapse? How should we view relapse on the recovery journey? Can we use relapse for future health? Should we disclose every relapse? All these questions are answered here! RESOURCES EPISODE 008 – 3 CIRCLES (RELAPSE PREVENTION TOOL)

Jun 25, 2019 • 49:16

102 – Power Of Gratitude

Gratitude is a topic most of us know well. But how does it benefit us? What role does it play in recovery? How do we develop it? This and more on today's episode!

Jun 18, 2019 • 27:19

101 – Men's Q&A

Today's episode is audio from Trevor and Nick's recent Q&A at a men's breakfast. They talk about length of group, neurochemistry, disclosure, and more!

Jun 11, 2019 • 42:15

100 – Looking Back, Some Favorites, and the Future

WE MADE IT TO 100 EPISODES! We spend some time chatting about the past 99 episodes, Trevor's favorites of Nick's intros, and some cool stuff Pure Desire has going for the future! RESOURCES FAVORITE EPISODES Trevor’s: EPISODE 015 – PERSONAL PROMISES EPISODE 032 – SINGLENESS & ADDICTION PT. 1 EPISODE 033 – SINGLENESS & ADDICTION PT. 2 EPISODE 041 – MISTAKES CHURCHES MAKE EPISODE 043 – GROUP GUIDELINES EPISODE 087 – SWORD DRILL Nick’s: EPISODE 068 – FATHER WOUND EPISODE 044 – PASTORS & PORN EPISODE

Jun 4, 2019 • 34:57

099 – Pastoral Failure

Why does pastoral moral failure happen as often as is does? Is there anything we can do about it? Will it always be this way? If it does happen, how are we to respond? Today's episode is a heavy one, but it needs to be talked about.

May 28, 2019 • 50:51

098 – 5 Reasons To Get Counseling

"Counseling" can seem like a taboo topic in the church world. But does it need to be? What if counseling is the one thing to help break those negative habits in our lives? Today's episode we discuss 5 primary reasons to consider getting counseling on your journey to sexual integrity. RESOURCES PURE DESIRE COUNSELING

May 21, 2019 • 28:19

097 - Promoting Pure Desire Groups At Your Church

The idea of promoting groups for sexual purity and betrayal in the church is not an easy or necessarily fun one. Today we talk about what the best ways are to promote Pure Desire groups in a way that catches more people and gets them the healing they need. RESOURCES REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS REGISTER YOUR GROUP GROUPS FINDER MAP

May 14, 2019 • 41:46

096 - Smartphone Purity Hacks

Is it even possible to own a smartphone and be sexually healthy? The answer is a huge YES! In this episode, we talk through 5 purity hacks to owning and operating a smartphone. RESOURCES TECH ACTION PLAN EPISODE TECH ACTION PLAN TOOL COVENANT EYES: use “PureDesire” promo code to get the first month free! ACCOUNTABLE 2 YOU EVER ACCOUNTABLE

May 7, 2019 • 31:34

095 - Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, & Relationships

What does it look like to have healthy relationships? Is true pure love possible? How should sexuality play out in my life? We spend time talking through our newest women's resource: Unraveled, and what life change women can expect to gain from it. RESOURCES UNRAVELED

Apr 30, 2019 • 40:24

094 - FAQ #8

Are wet dreams sinful? How do you manage sobriety on sick days? Why don't we offer same-sex attraction groups? Do we always need group? These are only a few of the questions we address in our newest FAQ episode.Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes:Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.orgDM/Message usRESOURCESSEX DURING RECOVERY (PD Podcast)SAFE by Nick StumboDIGITAL NATIVES by Bryan Roberts & Heather KolbMENDED (Marriage Resource)PURE DESIRE COUNSELINGFASTER SCALE TOOL

Apr 23, 2019 • 31:10

093 - Making A Better Commitment To Change

The Commitment to Change (C2C) is a weekly tool that Pure Desire groups use on the road to recovery. But how do we unlock the vast potential of this tool? What makes a C2C effective? How can it help us develop holistic health? Listen in to find out! RESOURCES COMMITMENT TO CHANGE

Apr 16, 2019 • 27:29

092 - Escape Plan

Creating a plan for when temptation or triggers show up is always better when done in times of clear thinking and done with brutal honesty. What should this plan look like? What makes an effective escape plan for maintaining sexual integrity? We talk these and more. RESOURCES ESCAPE PLAN 7 PILLARS OF FREEDOM 8 PILLARS TO FREEDOM UNRAVELED RESOURCE

Apr 9, 2019 • 36:33

091 - I Got Caught, Now What?

What do we do if we are caught in our porn/sex addiction? What's the first thing we should do? How can being caught be a good thing for our recovery? These questions and more are answered in this episode. RESOURCES PURE DESIRE COUNSELING 7 PILLARS OF FREEDOM 8 PILLARS TO FREEDOM CONQUER SERIES STORIES OF HEALING: ERNIE & JACKIE’S STORY

Apr 2, 2019 • 49:06

090 – I Caught My Spouse, Now What?

What do we do if we catch our spouse in a porn/sex addiction? What's the first thing we should do? What are some major pitfalls in how to respond? These are just some of the questions we address in today's episode. RESOURCES STORIES OF HEALING: ERNIE & JACKIE’S STORY BETRAYAL & BEYOND (GROUP RESOURCE)

Mar 26, 2019 • 45:06

089 - The Female Addict

Do women struggle with porn or sexual addiction? How do churches help women who do? What does recovery look like for women? How can we diminish the shame women addicts feel? We answer these questions and more in this episode. RESOURCES UNRAVELED STORIES FOR WOMEN BEHIND THE MASK

Mar 19, 2019 • 29:39

088 - Leading Seven Pillars

What does it take to lead men through healing from sexual addiction? What do I need in order to lead these men? What kinds of support and resources do I need to effectively lead men into sexual integrity? We answer these questions and more in today's episode. RESOURCES SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM  SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM LEADER’S GUIDE GROUP GUIDELINES RECOVERY ACTION PLAN FASTER SCALE COMMITMENT TO CHANGE

Mar 12, 2019 • 45:00

087 - SWORD Drill

We talk to our founder, Dr. Ted Roberts, about the practical bible studying tool used in our group resources–the SWORD Drill. We look at Nehemiah 8:10 and walk through how to read, experience, understand and implement practical steps from God's word. RESOURCES READING THE BIBLE WITH RABBI JESUS (BOOK)

Mar 5, 2019 • 40:35

086 - Stories Of Healing: Rick Bulman

We talk to Rick Bulman about how he and his wife, Tiffany, walked through the darkest of times in their marriage and how God took that mess and made it their message. We talk with Rick about what gave them hope and healing, the role of counseling in their recovery, how their relationships have healed, and their new book Mended. RESOURCES MENDED (BOOK) BY RICK & TIFFANY BULMAN GOTTMAN INSTITUTE HOPE FOR MEN FASTER SCALE CONNECTED (RESOURCE) MENDED INSTAGRAM MENDED FACEBOOK

Feb 26, 2019 • 45:16

085 - Unwanted (Pt. 2)

We talk to Jay Stringer, author, and mental health counselor, about his research and book, Unwanted. We talk to Jay about what he found in his research of almost 4,000 people, how to listen to your lust, and his involvement in the Heart of Man movie. RESOURCES WWW.JAY-STRINGER.COM UNWANTED (Jay’s book) JOURNEY INTO THE HEART OF MAN ONLINE COURSE HEART OF MAN MOVIE HEART OF MAN on Netflix

Feb 19, 2019 • 30:16

084 - Unwanted (Pt. 1)

We talk to Jay Stringer, Mental Health Counselor and author of the new book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. We talk to Jay about his story and how he got into counseling. We also talk to him about how our sexual failures are roadmaps into our past harm, and how God views our sexuality. RESOURCES WWW.JAY-STRINGER.COM UNWANTED (Jay’s book) JOURNEY INTO THE HEART OF MAN ONLINE COURSE

Feb 12, 2019 • 27:15

083 - Genesis Process

We talk to the author of Genesis Process and creator of the FASTER Scale tool, Michael Dye. We talk to him about the history of the Genesis Process, how it works, how the FASTER Scale was created, and more. RESOURCES GENESIS PROCESS WORKBOOK GENESIS PROCESS WEBSITE

Feb 5, 2019 • 52:07

082 - FAQ #7

We talk about how much to care about other people's recovery, examples of practical healthy habits in life, if we can or should watch shows like Game of Thrones, what married couples can do after group, and so much more. Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Use the subject line: PD PODCAST DM/Message us

Jan 29, 2019 • 32:30

081 - Forgiveness & Sexual Brokenness

We talk to Scott Bradley, Senior Pastor of As Is Church, about forgiveness. We define what forgiveness is, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, how forgiveness changes a family, and more. RESOURCES FORGIVENESS FACTOR AS IS CHURCH

Jan 22, 2019 • 43:20

080 - Accountability Software: Covenant Eyes

We talk to Ron DeeHas, president and co-founder of Covenant Eyes, about accountability software and the role it plays in recovery from sexual addiction. Ron shares the history of Covenant Eyes, the benefits to having accountability software, and what the future holds for accountability software. RESOURCES NEHEMIAH MINISTRIES PORN PHENOMENON (COVENANT EYES, BARNA, & JOSH MCDOWELL MINISTRIES) COVENANT EYES EBOOKS COVENANT EYES WEBSITE DIGITAL NATIVES COVENANT EYES SCREEN-ACCOUNTABILITY

Jan 15, 2019 • 43:04

079 - Leading Betrayal & Beyond

We talk about leading Betrayal & Beyond groups. We talk about what the goal of the group is, who can lead the groups, and what materials are needed for leading. We also discuss how husbands can support their wives as they lead Betrayal & Beyond groups, some best practices and some no's-no's as a leader. RESOURCES BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT BETRAYAL & BEYOND LEADER’S GUIDE BETRAYAL & BEYOND PODCAST EPISODE GROUP GUIDELINES TOOL GROUP GUIDELINES PODCAST REGISTER YOUR GROUP HERE

Jan 8, 2019 • 39:21

078 - Help! My Kid is Looking At Porn

We talk through what to do if you find out your kid is looking at porn. We talk about how to prepare yourself for this potential situation, how to dive into the conversation, some do's and don'ts, and more.

Jan 1, 2019 • 46:42

077 - A Healthy Holiday

We talk through 3 tips on having a healthy holiday. We discuss handling stress during the holidays, communicating your feelings and its effects, and how to identify isolation.

Dec 25, 2018 • 17:03

076 - Dismissing Group Members

We talk about the difficult situation of dismissing group members. We talk about when to dismiss group members, what the process looks like, what follow up looks like, what to do when you're the one being dismissed, and more. RESOURCES GROUP REFERRAL CRITERIA TOOL GROUP GUIDELINES TOOL GROUP GUIDELINES PODCAST EPISODE

Dec 18, 2018 • 36:30

075 - Thought Life

We talk through five practices for sexual integrity in our thought life. We discuss preparing for the battle each day, practicing breath prayers, the involvement of group members, and more.

Dec 11, 2018 • 30:51

074 - 4 Ways To Renew Your Mind

We talk about 4 ways to practically renew your mind. We talk about how often these practices should be done, where in Scripture these are supported, and encouragements as we implement them in our lives.

Dec 4, 2018 • 30:57

073 - Help! I Don't Have My Church's Support

We talk about the situation where your church isn't supportive of Pure Desire groups. We talk through why some churches struggle seeing the need for these groups, how to best respond if this happens, what to do if you're in this situation, and much more.

Nov 27, 2018 • 32:55

072 - FAQ #6

We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions. The questions on today's episode cover topics like how shame diminishes, what to do when a spouse isn't involved in your recovery action plan, how long it takes to get sexually healthy, if disclosure in a dating relationship is ok, and more. Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Use the subject line: PD PODCAST DM/Message us RESOURCES FASTER SCALE TOOL RECOVERY ACTION PLAN TOOL GROUP GUIDELINE’S PODCAST EPISODE REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS L

Nov 20, 2018 • 39:47

071 – Preaching & Purity

We talk through why preaching about sexual integrity and brokenness can be so challenging for the church. We discuss guidelines to preaching on sexual purity, what messages we inadvertently speak when avoiding the topic, how much is too much to share from the stage, and much more.

Nov 13, 2018 • 40:43

070 – Stories Of Healing–Mike Maxwell

We hear Mike Maxwell's story of healing from his porn addiction. He talks through what was at the core of his addiction and the destruction that it left in his life. He also talks about when things finally clicked and how God has redeemed his relationships and destiny. RESOURCES Email Mike for a copy of his book, Purity Driven Life: mikem@puredesire.org

Nov 6, 2018 • 46:39

069 – Legal Issues In Group

We talk about Legal Issues that arise in Pure Desire groups. We discuss how often legal issues come up, what types of issues come up, and how groups/group leaders can prepare themselves for potential issues. We also talk through do's and don'ts when handling legal issues and more. RESOURCES THE SILENT BATTLE by Rich Moore STATE STATUTES

Oct 30, 2018 • 29:24

068 – Father Wound

We talk about the Father Wound. We discuss what it is, how it compares to a Mother Wound, and how to recognize if you have a wound. We also talk through where in Scripture we see the Father Wound, how we address it, and how not to pass it on to our kids. RESOURCES WHEN HE’S MARRIED TO MOM by Kenneth Adams SILENTLY SEDUCED by Kenneth Adams ACT ON LIFE NOT ON ANGER by Georg H. Eifert, Matthew McKay, & John P. Forsyth

Oct 23, 2018 • 48:53

067 - Sexual Health For Singles w/ Ben Bennett

We talk about sexual health for single men and women. We discuss what healthy sexuality is, the true definition of intimacy, and what it looks like to pursue sexual health as a single person. We also touch on common misconceptions of sexuality for singles.

Oct 16, 2018 • 39:34

066 – Developing Group Leaders

We talk about the importance of developing Pure Desire group leaders. We discuss the requirements for being a group leader, what to look for in a potential leader, and things to avoid when looking for new leaders. We also talk through what developing group leaders looks like.

Oct 9, 2018 • 36:54

065 - Leading Conquer Groups

We talk through 6 tips (and a bonus) on leading Conquer Series groups. We discuss leading by example, shaming in group, relationship with God, confidentiality, and more. RESOURCES CONQUER SERIES KIT CONQUER SERIES TRAINING & PROMOTIONAL VIDEOS

Oct 2, 2018 • 34:09

064 - Social Media Minefield

We talk about maneuvering through the minefield of social media. We discuss how social media can be detrimental to our sexual integrity. We also talk through things to avoid, the positives of social media, and what being a healthy social media user looks like. RESOURCES TECH ACTION PLAN

Sep 25, 2018 • 41:50

063 - Stories Of Healing: Patty Moreno

We hear Patty Moreno's story of healing from her husband's unfaithfulness. She talks through how God used the refuse in her life and marriage to create a renewed relationship with her husband and a restored ministry in the kingdom. RESOURCES BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT FASTER SCALE TOOL RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (BETRAYED SPOUSE)

Sep 18, 2018 • 47:24

062 – Bringing Hope & Freedom

We hear from Pure Desire's Advancement Specialist and pastor, Rodney Wright. This episode is Rodney's message titled: Bringing Hope & Freedom.

Sep 11, 2018 • 39:19

061 – FAQ #5

We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions. The questions on today's episode cover topics like relapse and consequences, generationally passing addiction down, the role of Group Leaders in groups, comparing traumas, and more. Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Use the subject line: PD PODCAST DM/Message us RESOURCES 3 CIRCLES TOOL CRASH SITE ANALYSIS RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (ADDICTED SPOUSE) RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (BETRAYED SPOUSE) PURE DESIRE by Dr. Ted Roberts

Sep 4, 2018 • 41:19

060 – Arousal Template

We talk through the Arousal Template tool. We discuss what the tool is, the 5 steps to using it, and how it helps us create a game plan for sustained sobriety. We also talk through the length of use for this tool, who you should share it with, and more. RESOURCES 3 CIRCLES TOOL SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM UNRAVELED (WOMEN’S RESOURCE REPLACING EIGHT PILLARS TO FREEDOM)

Aug 28, 2018 • 45:23

059 – Triggers

We talk about triggers for sexual addiction. We discuss the different types of triggers and how we can identify them, if these triggers stay constant in life, the role of group accountability, and more. RESOURCES FASTER SCALE 3 CIRCLES TOOL

Aug 21, 2018 • 36:06

058 – Misconceptions Of Marriage

We discuss 7 common misconceptions on marriage. We discuss misconceptions like: sex will always be good, your spouse will complete you, you can change your spouse, my spouse's health is my responsibility, and more.

Aug 14, 2018 • 37:12

057 – Sex During Recovery

We discuss the role of sex during recovery from sexual addiction. We talk through if it's ok to withhold sex during recovery, how to increase emotional intimacy, how periods of abstinence can help your marriage, and more. RESOURCES LOVE MAPS CARDS by The Gottman Institute

Aug 7, 2018 • 48:29

056 – Behind The Mask

We talk about our resources and groups available for young women, Behind the Mask. We discuss who the group is for and what the main message is behind the resource. We also talk through why having these groups for young women is so important, how to get groups started, how to develop leaders, and more. RESOURCES BEHIND THE MASK

Jul 31, 2018 • 41:19

055 – Stories Of Healing: Paul Zunker

We hear Paul Zunker's story of healing from sexual addiction. He talks through the depths of his addiction, the legal issues that it created, and what failed attempts he had made to break free from his addiction. He also shares when it all started to click, how he found freedom, and what life looks like now with freedom from his addiction. RESOURCES SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM

Jul 24, 2018 • 35:36

054 – Nightly Routines

We talk through 6 healthy nightly routines and how they help in our overall health. We discuss device use, protecting your sleep, planning ahead, meditation, gratitude, and eating habits in regards to how they benefit our holistic health.

Jul 17, 2018 • 29:06

053 – Creating Healthy Guardrails

We talk about creating healthy guardrails for maintaining sobriety from sexual addiction. We discuss why guardrails are important, what makes a healthy/unhealthy guardrail, and who should be involved in the creation or changing of our guardrails. RESOURCES 3 CIRCLES TOOL (RELAPSE PREVENTION) VALUES LIST

Jul 10, 2018 • 44:16

052 – 8 Tips For Launching Groups

We talk through 8 tips for launching Pure Desire groups. We discuss the importance of sharing our story, establishing expectations and standards for groups, and the culture you create in groups. We also give practical tips on how to set your groups up for health and success. RESOURCES GROUP GUIDELINES MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING PARENTAL WEB RESOURCES

Jul 3, 2018 • 33:50

051 - When Crisis Occurs

We discuss the situation where men and women find themselves in a crisis due to sexual addiction. We talk about first steps when a crisis occurs, what things to avoid, and how to help others in crisis. We also discuss the role of group members in crisis and the resources available to anyone in crisis. RESOURCES FIND A PURE DESIRE GROUP STORIES FOR MEN STORIES FOR WOMEN

Jun 26, 2018 • 49:54

050 - FAQ #4

We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions. The questions on today's episode cover topics like withholding sex during recovery, what is sexual health, what the healing journey from sexual addiction looks like, and more. Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Use the subject line: PD PODCAST DM/Message us

Jun 19, 2018 • 47:50

049 – 5 Tips on Using the FASTER Scale

We give 5 tips on how to use the FASTER Scale tool. We discuss when to check the FASTER Scale, how to work it, when to talk through it, who to do it with, and it's role in life without Pure Desire Groups. RESOURCES FASTER SCALE TOOL FASTER SCALE EPISODE (PODCAST)

Jun 12, 2018 • 32:03

048 – Theology Of Addiction

We talk about the theology of addiction. We discuss the biblically-based and clinically-informed approach that Pure Desire's takes on healing from sexual addiction. We identify where addiction is in the Bible, why "loving Jesus more" isn't the solution, and why confession isn't enough for true healing. We also talk through why identifying trauma and triggers are necessary for lasting freedom.

Jun 5, 2018 • 56:40

047 - Stories Of Healing: Ernie & Jackie Chambers

We hear Ernie and Jackie's story of healing and redemption of their marriage. They talk through their marital tension caused by Ernie's sexual addiction and how they began their healing journey. They also share with us how their relationships with each other and their community changed through the process of healing.

May 29, 2018 • 44:32

046 - Summer Sobriety

We discuss maintaining sobriety during the oftentimes difficult summer months. We talk about things to avoid, helpful guardrails, and how to maintain accountability during the summer. We also discuss the opportunities that the summer months possess for finding sexual integrity. RESOURCES FASTER SCALE COMMITMENT TO CHANGE

May 22, 2018 • 40:34

045 - Regional Group Leaders (RGL)

We talk to two of our Regional Group Leaders (RGL's) about the RGL volunteer position. We discuss what an RGL is, why they exist, and how they help churches with Pure Desire groups. We also talk through mistakes churches make when it comes to utilizing their RGL. RESOURCES FIND YOUR REGIONAL GROUP ADVISOR (RGA)

May 15, 2018 • 33:35

044 – Pastors & Porn

We talk about the reality of porn/sex addiction in pastoral ministry. We discuss best ways to admit there is a problem, how much pastors should share, and how a church should respond to an admission of addiction from their pastors. We also give encouragement on how to get help and how to best support your pastors in this arena. RESOURCES PURE DESIRE LEADERS (PDL) PROGRAM COUNSELING REQUEST FORM SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM EIGHT PILLARS TO FREEDOM CONQUER SERIES

May 8, 2018 • 50:27

043 - Group Guidelines

We talk through Pure Desire's Group Guidelines. We talk about the importance and reasoning behind each guideline. We also discuss some misconceptions about the group guidelines and some common ways we break guidelines. RESOURCES GROUP GUIDELINES MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING

May 1, 2018 • 50:05

042 - Betrayal & Beyond

We talk through our Betrayal & Beyond (B&B) groups and group resources. We discuss why groups are needed for betrayed spouses and reasons why churches tend to not offer these groups. We talk about what it means to find healing from betrayal and how the Betrayal & Beyond group resource helps betrayed spouses on their journey to healing. RESOURCES BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT  COUNSELING REQUEST FORM

Apr 24, 2018 • 42:14

041 - Mistakes Churches Make

We talk about common mistakes churches can make when addressing the topic of sexual addiction. We discuss the common approach that churches take when diving into this topic and the issues that it often times creates. We also talk about how to best start this ministry in your church in a way that is inviting and welcoming to people in all seasons of healing.

Apr 17, 2018 • 47:56

040 - Family Dynamics

We talk about family dynamics and how they play out in our daily lives. We discuss how to identify, address, and change the unhealthy dynamics in our families. We also talk through how discuss unhealthy dynamics in a beneficial way and what it looks like to create healthy dynamics in our families.

Apr 10, 2018 • 49:44

039 - Love Addiction Pt. 2

We talk about Love Addiction. We discuss how to identify if you are a love addict. We talk through why being a love addict is detrimental in life and how to address love addiction. We also give encouragements on how to find freedom from love addiction. RESOURCES LOVE ADDICTION EVALUATION SEXUAL ADDICTION SCREENING TEST (SAST) COUNSELING REQUEST FORM RECOVERY ACTION PLAN – ADDICT RECOVERY ACTION PLAN – SPOUSE 8 PILLARS TO FREEDOM 7 PILLARS OF FREEDOM

Apr 3, 2018 • 27:35

038 - Love Addiction Pt. 1

We talk about Love Addiction. We talk through how it differs from sex addiction and also discuss causes and factors that cater to a love addiction. We also talk about if it is just a women's issue, or if men can struggle with it as well. RESOURCES LOVE ADDICTION EVALUATION SEXUAL ADDICTION SCREENING TEST (SAST) COUNSELING REQUEST FORM RECOVERY ACTION PLAN – ADDICT RECOVERY ACTION PLAN – SPOUSE 8 PILLARS TO FREEDOM 7 PILLARS OF FREEDOM

Mar 27, 2018 • 28:08

037 - FAQ #3

We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ). The questions on today's episode cover topics like why masturbation is harmful, how to get buy-in for starting the Conquer Series, who can struggle with love addiction, when to pursue counseling, and more. Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Use the subject line: PD PODCAST DM/Message us

Mar 20, 2018 • 45:08

036 - Difficult Group Members

We talk about the reality and nature of having difficult group members. We discuss ways to avoid being a difficult group member and mistakes frequently made when dealing with difficult group members. We also talk through ways we've found success in handling difficult group members and what support is offered to group leaders. RESOURCES FIND YOUR REGIONAL GROUP LEADER GROUP REFERRAL FOR COUNSELING

Mar 13, 2018 • 37:46

Episode 035 - Eight Pillars to Freedom

We talk about our group Eight Pillars to Freedom. We discuss who the group is for and what the group time looks like. We discuss the differences between sex addiction and love addiction. We also give some tips on some do's and don'ts in an Eight Pillars group. RESOURCES SEXUAL ADDICTION SCREEN TEST (SAST) LOVE ADDICTION EVALUATION (LAE)

Mar 6, 2018 • 43:48

034 - Healthy Habits

We talk about the importance of healthy habits on the road to freedom from sexual addiction. We talk through what makes a habit healthy, how to implement lasting habits, and when a habit becomes another addiction. We also give personal examples of healthy habits that have worked in our lives.

Feb 27, 2018 • 39:13

033 - Singleness & Addiction Pt. 2

We talk to Ben Bennett and Jake Kissack about being single and battling sexual addiction. We discuss ways to educate and help young people address this issue, while also unpacking ways that married couples can encourage and support single friends and what resources are available for single people stuck in addiction. RESOURCES BOOKS: BEHIND THE MASK TOP GUN LIVING FREE WEBSITES: BEGGARS DAUGHTER BEN BENNETT’S WEBSITE BEN’S INSTAGRAM BLOG POSTS: WHAT YOUR SEXUAL FANTASIES (MIGHT) SAY ABOUT

Feb 20, 2018 • 26:04

032 - Singleness & Addiction Pt. 1

We talk to Ben Bennett and Jake Kissack about being single and battling sexual addiction. We talk through what it looks like to find sexual freedom as a single person and when it's ok to be in a relationship. We also talk about how to best reach the single demographic with the message of hope and freedom, and what resources are available for single people struggling with addiction. RESOURCES BOOKS: BEHIND THE MASK TOP GUN LIVING FREE WEBSITES: BEGGARS DAUGHTER BEN BENNETT’S WEBSITE BEN’S INS

Feb 13, 2018 • 36:40

031 - PD-University

We talk about our event called Pure Desire University (PD-U). We discuss what the PD-U is and who can attend these conferences. We also talk about what churches will benefit from hosting or attending a PD-U. We talk through how to host or attend a PD-U and why we encourage churches to pursue a PD-U. RESOURCES Interested in hosting an event: events@puredesire.org

Feb 6, 2018 • 33:50

030 - Living Free

We talk to Ben Bennett about his resource for college-aged men, Living Free. We talk about how the resource came about and what is at the core of its message. We also discuss why reaching the younger generations with freedom is so important and the benefits this freedom brings the church. RESOURCES LIVING FREE KIT

Jan 30, 2018 • 40:13

029 - Conquer Series

We talk to the CEO of KingdomWorks Studios, Jeremy Wiles, about their 10-week cinematic study on sexual addiction called the Conquer Series. We talk about the backstory/history of the Conquer Series and Dr. Ted's involvement in the project. We discuss how the Conquer Series works and what it does. We also discuss the new rollout of Conquer Series 2.0 and all the updated/new tools added. RESOURCES CONQUER SERIES KIT

Jan 23, 2018 • 35:18

028 - FAQ # 2

We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ). The questions on today's episode cover topics like handling relapse in group leadership, who can/should watch the Conquer Series, timeline of full disclosure, healthy habits for engaged couple preparing for sexuality in marriage, and more. Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes: Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Use the subject line: PD PODCAST DM/Message us

Jan 16, 2018 • 47:36

Episode 027 - Seven Pillars of Freedom (Pt. 2)

We talk about our Seven Pillars of Freedom groups and group material for addicted men. We discuss what the Seven Pillars are, how often groups meet, and what men need to get Seven Pillars groups going. We also talk through what men need in order to lead Seven Pillars groups. RESOURCES SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM KIT

Jan 9, 2018 • 30:23

026 - Seven Pillars of Freedom (Pt. 1)

We talk about our Seven Pillars of Freedom groups and group material for addicted men. We discuss the history of Seven Pillars and how it compares to your run-of-the-mill bible study. We also talk about the commitment level required to benefit from Seven Pillar groups. RESOURCES SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM KIT

Jan 2, 2018 • 25:46

025 - Suspecting Spouse

We talked to Debby Flanagan, a clinician on staff, about when a spouse suspects that their husband/wife is struggling with porn/sex addiction. We discuss what first steps should be taken and what to avoid when addressing the suspicion. We also talk through about what support and resources are available for men or women in this situation. RESOURCES Ashley JamesonInternational Women’s Groups Coordinator (503) 558-2923 Rich MooreInternational Men’s Groups Coordinator (503) 489-0246 Counseling Offic

Dec 26, 2017 • 39:20

024 - Church Hurdles

We talk to Rodney Wright, pastor at Lake City Church in Idaho, about the struggles and hurdles pastors face when addressing sexual addiction in their church. We discuss what level of pastoral involvement is appropriate, why sexual addiction is a taboo topic, and why it is so important to have groups for people struggling in the church.  RESOURCES PD-LEADERS PROGRAM

Dec 19, 2017 • 44:49

023 - One-Sided Healing (Addicted Spouse)

We talk to Tyler Chinchen, our Clinical Director, about a situation where an addicted husband/wife sees the need for healing but their spouse is not supportive. We discuss some initial steps for the addict in this scenario and types of resources available to them. We also talk through why a supportive spouse is important in the recovery process and how to include a spouse in that journey.

Dec 12, 2017 • 34:12

022 - Holidays & Sobriety

We talk to Dr. Ted Roberts about what he calls the "Limbic Holiday," aka the Holiday Season. We discuss the issues and struggles that so many have with family and addiction over the holidays. We also talk about ways to maintain sobriety and support your spouse during this stressful season.

Dec 5, 2017 • 28:52

021 - Disclosing to Your Kids

We talk to Jackie Chambers, one of our Regional Group Leaders, about disclosing addiction to your kids. We talk about what disclosure is and what it should look like when talking with your kids about addiction in the home. We talk about how to disclose, when to disclose, and discuss ways to keep the conversation going with your kids.

Nov 28, 2017 • 36:52

020 - FAQ #1

We talk through Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ's) that we hear at our PD-University events. The questions on today's episode cover topics like the neurochemistry of addiction, same-sex attraction, group struggles, identifying the problem in your church, etc. Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes: Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org Use the subject line: PD PODCAST DM/Message

Nov 21, 2017 • 40:54

019 - Starting Women's Groups

We talk to Jackie Chambers, one of our Regional Group Leaders, about starting women's Pure Desire groups at your church. We talk through what makes women's groups unique and what types of women's groups we have available. We also discuss tips and steps to follow when beginning women's groups in your church.

Nov 14, 2017 • 40:05

018 - One-sided Healing (Betrayed Spouse)

We talk about what it looks like when a betrayed spouse sees the need for healing but their addicted spouse isn't willing to work for freedom. We give encouragement and steps for the betrayed spouse on how to begin healing, and suggest some things they should avoid when trying to initiate change in their marriage, family, and home. We also talk through available resources for betrayed spouses.

Nov 7, 2017 • 37:47

017 - Recovery Action Plan (Safety Plan)

We talk with Ashley Jameson (International Women's Groups Coordinator) about the Recovery Action Plan (RAP) tool, previously called Safety Plan. We talk through what a RAP is and the benefits of using the tool - whether someone is struggling with addiction or someone has been affected by another's addiction. We talk about how to best use and develop a RAP and how it is a helpful tool that creates a predetermined process for recovery for anyone whether single, married, or divorced.

Oct 31, 2017 • 41:23

016 - Tech Action Plan

We sit down with Bob Vander Meer to talk about Creating a Tech Action Plan for your devices. We talk through what an effective action plan looks like and topics it should address. We also talk through filtering programs and how to avoid finding loopholes in our safety steps.

Oct 24, 2017 • 35:22

015 - Personal Promises

We talk about a tool known as "Personal (Prophetic) Promises." Personal Promises are used to combine a real-life experience and the truth of scripture into a powerful tool used on the road to recovery. We talk through what a personal promise is, how it should be used, and give some examples on what one should look like.

Oct 17, 2017 • 40:54

014 - Growing A Healthy Groups Ministry

We spend time talking about how to grow a healthy Pure Desire groups ministry. We talk through what healthy and growing groups look like and how to creating a developing ministry. We also spend time talking through how to identify, train, and develop new group leaders and what role our Regional Group Leaders (RGL's) play. And we also discuss some tips to use and some practices to avoid when working to grow your Pure Desire groups.

Oct 10, 2017 • 40:54

013 - Redeemed

We have a special episode this week from our Executive Director, Nick Stumbo. Today's episode is Nick's message from our 2017 Men's Conference - titled "Redeemed."

Oct 3, 2017 • 46:16

012 - Weekly Phone Calls

We talk to Bryan Roberts about weekly group phone calls. Making your weekly phone calls is a big piece to effective groups and healing. But too often, our phone calls are the first thing to go during a busy week. Bryan talks us through the importance of making your weekly phone calls and why they are a part of the healing process for men and women.

Sep 26, 2017 • 42:09

011 - Safe

We have our co-host, Nick Stumbo, as our guest today to talk about his new book - Safe: Creating a Culture of Grace in a Climate of Shame. Nick talks us through what the message is of his new book and who it's written for. He also tells how to really get to a place where your church's culture is one of grace and not a performance-based culture. RESOURCES SAFE by Nick Stumbo

Sep 19, 2017 • 33:24

010 - Pure Desire Counseling

We talk to Tyler and Shari Chinchen, two of our clinicians on staff, about counseling at Pure Desire. The word "counseling" tends to have a negative connotation attached to it. Tyler and Shari talk us through what counseling looks like and share the outcomes of clinical care. They also give us a practical look at the approach of Pure Desire Counseling.

Sep 12, 2017 • 43:02

009 - Digital Natives

We talk to Bryan Roberts and Heather Kolb, authors of Digital Natives: Raising An Online Generation. Bryan and Heather talk us through the message, purpose, and reasons for this new book. We talk through the importance of raising your kids with healthy online habits and what role parents, leaders, and mentors have in this area. Pre-order your copy here: puredesire.org/digital-natives

Sep 5, 2017 • 33:43

008 - 3 Circles (Relapse Prevention Tool)

We talk to Harry Flanagan about one of our relapse prevention tools, the 3 Circles Tool. Harry, as one of our Pure Desire Clinicians, has loads of experience with this tool and how to best use it in day-to-day life. He shares with us the importance of having guardrails in our lives to help us maintain purity.

Aug 29, 2017 • 40:25

007 - History of Pure Desire

We are privileged to talk to the founders of Pure Desire, Dr. Ted and Diane Roberts. They share about the history of Pure Desire and what sparked it's creation. Ted and Diane also talk through the struggles and victories of 20+ years in this ministry. And we also ask them what their hopes are for the future of Pure Desire Ministries.

Aug 22, 2017 • 38:29

006 - Is It Really An Addiction?

We talk to Heather Kolb who is an author, speaker, adjunct professor, and is our Neuroscience Professional at Pure Desire. We talk to Heather about the nature of sexual addiction and how to identify if it really is an addiction. Heather also gives us tools and tips to battling this addiction.

Aug 15, 2017 • 31:29

005 - Double Bind & Commitment to Change

We talk to Robert Vander Meer about the ins-and-outs of the Double Bind and Commitment to Change tools. Robert is a pastor and is also one of our Pastoral Sex Addiction Professionals. We talk through what the confusion is surrounding the Double Bind, and also discuss the keys to an effective Commitment to Change. Robert gives us his experience both as a former sex addict and now as a pastor and counselor.

Aug 8, 2017 • 37:00

004 - Effective Group Dynamics

We talk to our International Women's Groups Coordinator, Ashley Jameson. Ashley talks us through what healthy and effective Pure Desire groups look like. She gives us good practices and some things to avoid.

Aug 1, 2017 • 37:15

003 - How to Start Pure Desire at Your Church

We talk to our International Men's Groups Coordinator, Rich Moore, about how to implement Pure Desire groups into your church. Rich shares his expertise and experience (over 20 years) with starting, leading, and maintaining groups in his church.

Jul 25, 2017 • 36:11

002 - The FASTER Scale

We introduce and discuss the FASTER Scale tool with our Executive Director Nick Stumbo. What is the FASTER Scale? How do we use it? Why is it an effective tool for sexual and emotional health?

Jul 18, 2017 • 31:47

001 - Introducing Pure Desire

We talk to Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo. Nick shares about who Pure Desire is, where we come from, and where we are headed.

Jul 11, 2017 • 33:07