The original intent of this piece was to announce that my GENEs interview series is now available in audio format. I have been able to conduct 14 of these interviews so far, but for many of the earlier episodes, I was simply recording interviews on my phone mic—either outside on the street or in cafés—so the audio was unusable for editing. Thankfully, for the more recent ones, I had the foresight to invest in some decent gear. Mainly to avoid situations like my phone dying mid-interview or mysteriously stopping the recording altogether. Now, I have useable audio that I can attach to the interviews to make them a listenable experience, but I’ve been hesitating to release them.Thanks for reading (or listening) MikeDi's Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.As I’ve been preparing to “officially” publish these episodes, I’ve found myself stuck in this weird back-and-forth: should I even pursue this? Why am I hesitating? And I realized—most of the resistance comes down to self-sabotage... and my irrational hate for the word “podcast.”Let me explain.(If you'd rather skip my explanations and just go back to listen to the audio versions of my GENEs interviews with Andy [@owensoddities], Matt [@vintagesponsor], links are here. My newest one, with Aly (@nenahansen), will be coming soon!)If I think back far enough, I’ve always been a bit resistant to labels. Some of that comes from being contrarian in nature, but it’s also about not wanting to be lumped into a group I don’t fully align with.Take high school, for example. I was jokingly called a “self-loathing Italian,” not because I wasn’t proud of my heritage, but because I didn’t want to be boxed in with a group just because of where my parents were born. There were parts of me that fit in, and parts that didn’t. And I resented the expectation that I had to belong and look or act a certain way. I realize that this may come off as a bit whiny, especially as someone who fits into the privileged heteronormative majority, with people dealing with way more substantial prejudices in their lives, but I’ve always used it as a source of empathy and awareness. In this photography (and now writing) project, I have tried to do my best in recognizing and then ignoring prejudices I may hold based on people's appearances alone. Being constantly out in the community, talking and photographing people who may “appear” to fit into one category or another, always breaks any mold I could have originally held in my mind about certain types of people.This pattern of fitting into a group, but resisting the label, has also followed me into adulthood. Across different hobbies, jobs, and creative pursuits, I’ve learned that there’s power in community, but I also feel like I lose something when I’m identified too closely with a group. The assumptions people make about you based on a label? That’s the part that stings.For example, when I tell people I’m a teacher, it instantly triggers a whole cascade of assumptions about who I am, how I think, how I live. Just because everyone’s had a teacher, you get lumped into every good and bad memory someone’s ever had in a classroom.Or take the name I still regret: “Seasons of East Van.” I’ve talked about this before, but the worst part is how often people misremember it, or worse, call me the “Humans of East Van” guy. The projects definitely share some surface-level similarities, but in my mind, what I do is different. I admire Humans of New York, of course. I just don’t want to be confused with it anymore.Okay, so, what does any of this have to do with audio versions of GENEs?Well... I guess I’m now publishing a podcast and already I am being resistant to another label.When I first started these interviews, I didn’t like the idea of recording them for a bunch of reasons: I didn’t know if they’d be interesting. I wasn’t sure I could pull off an interview. I didn’t know if I’d find enough guests. Or if people would even have clothing they wanted to talk about. And, probably most of all, I hated the idea of having to go back and listen to the sound of my own voice.But after publishing a few of the written interviews, I started hearing the same thing over and over:“I love these GENEs interviews—but I just hate reading. I wish I could listen to them.”At first, I resisted this feedback—because that’s often my default. But as the encouragement started coming from people I deeply respect, the hesitation started to feel more like my ego getting in the way. So I decided to buy some entry level recording gear, telling myself it was so that I could listen back to the conversations rather than rely on my spotty iPhone recordings…thinking I’d maybe be able to publish them as well.The more interviews I did, the more comfortable I got in the process. The gear didn’t feel intimidating anymore. I even started enjoying the process of editing these essays and then preparing the audio (with some help from Jonah, of course).So here I am recording myself reading the earlier pieces to splice in the interviewees voice so that people can listen to a version of the interview.The only hurdle left? Getting over the fact that I have to call it a podcast.Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love podcasts. When I was commuting from east van to South Surrey daily for work from 2017-2022, I was consuming hours and hours of podcasts. It helped me stay relaxed in traffic, it allowed me to expand my understanding of many different topics, or it offered a light-hearted break to an otherwise heavy day.I have been “that friend” to suggest podcasts to people for years.So why the resistance to making my own now?It comes down to a few things…First, I still want to honor and respect the fact that people are sharing intimate and personal stories with me, and I want to be present with them, and share their story in a way that makes them feel good. I thought that putting a recording device between us might hinder the authenticity of the conversation, but so far, I haven’t felt that, and I don’t think my guests have either. But, I will continue (for now) to be narrating my essays with their voice spliced in rather than just publishing the entire conversation in full. This gives me both the chance to sit back and think about the narrative, but also gives the interviewee a chance to preview the work before it gets published.Second, I have zero expectations for this. Everything I’ve done in this “side-hustle” has been a creative endeavor, with little to no expectations that anyone would ever consume it. I am super grateful for my local and enthusiastic followers on Instagram, and my new, albeit much more refined following on Substack. But to now think I have to convince everyone to also follow me on Spotify, or wherever else this is published, seems annoying, so I likely won’t be pushing it too hard. I won’t be overtly telling you to listen to “my new podcast”.So, yeah…I’ll keep resisting the term podcast, I will still be calling this an “audio essay” or some other bulky term. It will be published on Substack and Spotify under their podcast label…but really it’s just another version of what I’ve already been doing: collecting stories, editing them carefully, and putting them out into the world in a format that feels personal and human. The stories of course, will always be accompanied by photos, so I hope people can continue to engage through Substack to see the photos as well.At the end of the day, GENEs has always been about connection. It’s about clothing, yes—but more so, it’s about the people wearing the clothing and the stories that live in the fabric. If hearing those stories instead of reading them means more people can engage with them, then I’m happy to oblige. Just don’t expect me to start calling myself a podcaster anytime soon.Thanks for listening, or reading, or both. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mikecldi.substack.com