Tracy Clark-Flory’s sexual exploration began at the age of 12, when she ventured into AOL chat rooms, seeking to discover what men wanted sexually. In her memoir, "Want Me: A Sex Writer's Journey into the Heart of Desire," Tracy details her personal sexual coming of age through the maze hyper-sexualized media, where she grappled with the conflicting messages dictating her sexual identity. It wasn't until her tenure as a sex journalist and the dawn of deeper relationships that she unearthed a profound truth: there's no universal formula for male desire. This revelation sparked a profound shift, leading her to prioritize her own sexual fulfillment.Join Erin and Tracy for a conversation spanning the portrayal of sexuality in media to the complexities of sexual experiences, including orgasms and the performance of desire, as we explore:The clash of feminism and hyper-sexualization in media and its impact on young women's journey to self-discoveryThe pressure women face to conform to performative standards of desirability for menFeminist theory's role in untangling society's conflicting messages about sexualityExposing the myths surrounding pornography and the importance of media literacyFaking orgasms and how to pursue genuine pleasure The intersection of motherhood and sexuality, and the liberating journey towards self-awareness and acceptance that comes with ageOUR GUEST: Tracy Clark-Flory is a journalist, essayist, and author of the memoir “Want Me: A Sex Writer's Journey into the Heart of Desire”, an NPR best book of the year. Clark-Flory has written for Cosmopolitan, Elle, Esquire, Glamour, The Guardian, and The Washington Post. She is a former senior staff writer at Jezebel and Salon. Her work has shown up in the Best Sex Writing anthology and she has been called “one of the best journalists of our generation writing about sexuality.” She writes a weekly newsletter on sex, feminism, motherhood, and pop culture at tracyclarkflory.substack.com.Want more Tracy? Find her online at https://www.tracyclarkflory.com/ and tracyclarkflory.substack.com. Follow her on Instagram @tracyclarkflory Read her book Want Me: A Sex Writer's Journey into the Heart of DesireWant more Hotter Than Ever? Find us and episode transcripts online at www.hotterthaneverpod.com and sign up for our mailing list! Follow us on:Instagram: @hotterthaneverpod TikTok: @hotterthaneverpod Youtube: @hotterthaneverpod Facebook: @hotterthaneverpod We’d love to hear what you think about the show - tell us what stories are resonating with you by writing us a review on Apple Podcasts. Want advice about some aspect of your life over 40? DM us on IG @hotterthaneverpod or text/leave a voicemail on the Hotter Than Ever Hottie Hotline at (323) 844-2303 and your question could end up on the show!Mentioned in this episode:Broad CollectiveLearn more about Broad Collective and our membership network for midlife women entrepreneurs at broadcollective.com. Apply to join Broad Collective at https://broad-collective-co.mn.co/landing