Ninjas vs. Podcast
Tyler Crumrine, Jordan Zimmerman, and Kevin Gaul
Once a week Tyler, Jordan, and Kevin answer that old chestnut, "Which is better, x or y?" Also a chestnut appreciation podcast. Match-ups can be emailed to ninjasvspodcast@gmail.com or tweeted with the #nvp hashtag.
Episode 171: Jordan Got Married
A year ago Jordan got married. A year later Tyler finally edited an episode we recorded right before the ceremony. Kevin & Adam were also there. Enjoy.
Episode 170: Fun Fact About the Boys
This week’s contenders: Ghost life vs. Reincarnation, Muss vs. Fuss, Bad beer vs. Bad liquor, Fast travel vs. Bag of holding.
Episode 168: Leather Daddies
This week’s contenders: Cooking vs. Bartending, SPAM Slam vs. Ham Scam, Punk Rock Uncle Sam vs. Goth Santa, Suffering slings and arrows vs. Taking arms against them.
Episode 167: Oops All Tanks
This week’s contenders: Zorro vs. Batman, Robot Wars vs. Junkyard Wars, No woman, no cry vs. No shirt, no shoes, no service, Shredded but weak vs. Fat but strong.
Episode 166: Beakman’s World
This week’s contenders: A-Team vs. MacGyver, “Batman vs. Superman” vs. “Freddy vs. Jason,” Sunny day vs. Rainy day, Obama vs. Mitt Romney.
Episode 165: Kevin Said Some Stupid Stuff And Ate A Chip
This week’s contenders: Hippies vs. Frat Bros, Gyroscopes vs. Gyros, Killing Hitler vs. Winning the lottery, John Cena vs. Danny DeVito.
Episode 164: Watermelons, Right?
This week’s contenders: Fairy Boat vs. Ferry Godmother, Get up vs. Get down, Rock Lobster vs. Lobstrosity, Bebop vs. Rocksteady.
Episode 163: Everybody Loves Rey Mond
This week’s contenders: Dark Vader vs. Kylo Ren, Pizza chain vs. Donut chain, Gargoyles vs. Street Sharks, Fast vs. Furious.
Episode 162: Greek Odds
This week’s contenders: Broncos vs. Panthers, Greece vs. Grease, Nancy Sinatra vs. Nancy Reagan, Powerball vs. Belle of the Ball.
Episode 161: The Scottish Podcast
This week’s contenders: Close proximity relationship vs. Separate time zones, Stinkbugs vs. Ladybugs, Crumbs vs. Rinds, Be a dragon vs. Have a dragon.
Episode 160: Space Away
This week’s contenders: Island vs. Deep Space, Surfer vs. Lawyer, Spanish Flea vs. Girl from Ipanema, Axe vs. Multiple collars popped.
Episode 159: Giuliani Ate a Pizza Once
This week’s contenders: Christmas dinner vs. Christmas cookies, Sleigh rides vs. Open fire, Make it rain vs. Let it snow, Tim Allen vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Episode 158: Goethe’s Yurte
This week’s contenders: 8 crazy nights vs. 8 relaxed evenings, No birthday presents vs. No holiday presents, Litterbug vs. Jitterbug, Mickey Mouse vs. Goethe’s house.
Episode 157: America’s Got Drake
This week’s contenders: Hotline Bling vs. Whip / Nae Nae, Fallout Shelter vs. Fallout Boy, Warm toilet seat vs. Cold toilet seat, Golden Girls vs. Gilmore Girls.
Episode 156: Hella Beans
This week’s contenders: Opening up a can of worms vs. Spilling the beans, Jack Skellington vs. Jack Frost, Slytherin vs. Lannister.
Episode 155: Fleekin’
This week’s contenders: Pineapples vs. Pinewood derbies, Pizza rat vs. Duck army, Magic unibrow vs. Accordions for legs, Elevator vs. Ramen.
Episode 154: Ranch Hands
This week’s contenders: Prince vs. Queen, Chicken fingers vs. Ranch hands, Sully vs. Donkey, Theme Park vs. Adventure Cruise vs. Safari.
Episode 153: Uncle Comedy
This week’s contenders: Adult Kickball vs. Kid MMA, St. Vincent vs. Sufjan Stevens, Bulletproof vs. Immune to disease, Vindication vs. Vin Diesel
Episode 152: Cena Round Town
This week’s contenders: 100% JOHN CENA. Camping trip gone wrong vs. Book club, Road rage vs. Express checkout, Pumping up vs. Comforting, John vs. Jesse.
Episode 151: Thank You John Cena
This week’s contenders: IKEA vs. Meatballs, Snape Hair vs. Dr. Emmett Brown Hair, Eating Sand vs. Anime Swords, Island Time vs. A New York Minute.
Episode 150: Deez Nups
This week’s contenders: Wedding Owl vs. Wedding Snake, Bridesmen vs. Groomsmaids, iTunes vs. DJ, First Dance vs. Last Dance.
Episode 149: Dude Ads
This week’s contenders: Crosswords vs. Sudoku, Flim-flams vs. Doo-dads, Slam vs. Jam, Bill Nye vs. Mr. Rogers.
Episode 148: Conditional Love
This week’s contenders: Rich & Ugly vs. Poor & Handsome, Wet Socks vs. Never Shampooing, Clichés vs. Lyrics from Disney songs, Giant hornets vs. Great white.
Episode 147: Radical Honesty
This week’s contenders: Telling all truths vs. All lies, Minstrel vs. Butler, Being a man-child vs. Unrecognizable, Circus vs. Carnival.
Episode 146: Ghost in the Michelle
This week’s contenders: Nowhere man in a nowhere land vs. Barbie girl in a Barbie world, Bad Robots vs. Mutant Enemies, Longboard Barkley vs. Bucket Shaq, Teens vs. Corrupt politicians, Barack vs. The Rock.
Episode 145: BoatPics.gov
This week’s contenders: Beer vs. Poetry, Always pooping when you pee vs. Throwing up instead of going to the bathroom, Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter vs. Terence Fletcher from Whiplash, Being Kardashian famous vs. Being the head of your own cult.
Episode 144: Josh Groban Body Pillow
This week’s contenders: Seth Rogen vs. Josh Groban, Dodge Ball vs. Dodge Viper, Batmen vs. Celebrity confusion, Easter Bunny vs. Krampus.
Episode 143: Rollercop Industries
This week’s contenders: Robocop vs. Rollercop, Agent Dale Cooper vs. Dale the Chipmunk, Baseball mitts for hands vs. Flippers for feet, Booing Mailpeople vs. Slow clapping at meetings.
Episode 142: Nick Cannon’s Unlimited Internet
This week’s contenders: Living wifi hotspot vs. Vomiting big macs, Bad ballet dancer vs. Bad Orchestra member, Butter for fingers vs. Butterfingers for fingers, Jaden Smith vs. Kim Jong Un.
Episode 141: Superb Hours
This week’s contenders: Tribbles vs. Gremlins, No one getting your references vs. Not getting any references, Scotch tape vs. Scotch whisky, Nicolas Cage Superman or Nic Cage Batman.
Episode 140: Hotguy
This week’s contenders: Cupid vs. Hawkeye, Receiving chocolates vs. Receiving lingerie, Braggy Couples vs. Bitter singles, Never giving you up vs. Never letting you down.
Episode 139: Guy’s Guys
This week’s contenders: Guy Fieri’s Hair vs. Goatee, Dancing like nobody’s watching vs. Loving like you’ve never been hurt, Top Chef vs. Hell’s Kitchen, Long lines vs. Unpopped Ears.
Episode 138: Tums Gum, The Chewing Chalk
This week’s contenders: Anthropomorphized Animals vs. Items, Weak Toilet Paper vs. Chewing Chalk, Frasier vs. Family Matters, Glittered Sweat vs. Follow That Car.
Episode 137: Honk Honk
This week’s contenders: Rita Skeeter vs. Skeeter Valentine, All spoiled movies vs. No recommended movies, Milkshake vs. Cappuccino, Commander Shepard vs. Captain Kirk.
Episode 136: Happy Boys
This week’s contenders: LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S Hologram Moon vs. Lizard Overlords, Pirate vs. Lost Boy, Ride vs. Drive, Training Luke vs. Anakin.
Episode 135: Blair Witch Project Runway
This week’s contenders: Full House Xmas vs. Home Improvement Xmas, Rooty-toot-toots vs. Rummy-tum-tums, Tinsel vs. Wrapping Paper, TV specials vs. Xmas movies, A Xmas Carol vs. A Xmas Story, Hermie the Elf vs. Bernard the Elf.
Episode 134: The Krampus Clause
This week’s contenders: Mannheim Steamroller vs. Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Krampus vs Santa, Eidetic memory vs. Limited precognition, No presents but family vs. Presents but alone.
Episode 133: Alf by Alfwest
This week’s contenders: Chewbacca vs. Chewing tobacco, Joker vs. Jackass, Isolation vs. Eternal repetition, Ruby slippers vs. Rubeus Hagrid.
Episode 132: Ham
This week’s contenders: Turkey vs. Ham, Connected movement vs. Connected speech, Half your height vs. Twice your weight, Garfield vs. Dilbert.
Episode 131: A Whaley Good Time
This week’s contenders: AN IMPORTANT UPDATE, Tramp stamp vs. Belly button piercing, New car smell vs. Euphoric fire smell, No bad drivers vs. No lines, Sharingan eyes vs. Cyclops eyes.
Episode 130: Obamas
This week’s contenders: Hair-mouth vs. Tongue-head, Decaf coffee vs. Non-alcoholic beer, Choose Your Own Adventure vs. Goosebumps, Bawdy limerick vs. Respected but disliked novel.
Episode 129: Dreamy Boys Baby-Sitters Club
This week’s contenders: Child star vs. Old star, Hardy Boys vs. The Baby-Sitters Club, The Giving Tree vs. The Giver, One-man Band vs. Blue Man Group.
Episode 128: Seitan & Cheeses
This week’s contenders: Warm beer vs. Flat soda vs. Weak coffee, Chester A. Arthur vs. William Taft, No meats vs. No dairy, Occasional fear vs. Constant peeves.
Episode 127: Eyyyyy
This week’s contenders: Porch couch vs. Aboveground pool, Perfect impressions vs. Perfect fluency, Stones inside shoe vs. Stuck to your shoe, Homeless texts vs. MySpace communication.
Episode 126: Sweet Jumps & Dunks
This week’s contenders: Candles vs. Torches, Plants vs. Zombies, Switchblades vs. Brass knuckles, Rockets vs. the Rockettes.
Episode 125: Macurassic Park
This week’s contenders: MineCraft vs. Kraft mine, 1 ear deaf vs. 1 hour of internet a week, Smartphone brain vs. Inspector Gadget hands, Hogwarts Owl vs. Kimmunicator.
Episode 124: Dragona Ballsy
This week’s contenders: Football vs. Ballet, Octodad vs. Octomom, Earbuds vs. Headphones, Doritos vs. Pringles.
Episode 123: Codcast
This week’s contenders: Indie Video Games vs. Indie Movies, Original songs vs. Parodies, Always cosplay vs. Everyone cosplays as you, Kirk Cameron vs. Robin Thicke.
Episode 122: Max Scenic
This week’s contenders: Walmart Guy vs. Starbucks App Guy, Rocking Chair vs. Spinny Chair, 2D vs. 4D, Tom Selleck Mustache vs. Sam Elliott Mustache.
Episode 121: Eternal Moonshine of the Spotless Mind
This week’s contenders: Getting paid in gum vs. Getting paid in hugs, Perfect memory vs. Being able to selectively forget anything, Throwing up vs. Having a migraine, Being pandered to vs. Being pandaed to.
Episode 120: Deudalism
This week’s contenders: Dude vs. Man, Breaking dead vs. Walking bad, Infinite awesome ads vs. Zero ads, Underwear made out of Legos vs. Underwear made out of Velcro.
Episode 119: Digenetics
This week’s contenders: The lawnmower vs. Twerking, Tom Cruise using only one hand vs. Bruce Willis tied to 100 lbs, Celebrity guests vs. Corporate sponsors, Darth Vader vs. Darth Maul.
Episode 118: The Radical Squadron
This week’s contenders: Drive-in movies vs. Drive-in diners, Snorks vs. Fraggles, Pigs on your knees vs. Ducks on your fists, Who would you rather be roommates with: SWAT Cats or Battletoads?
Episode 117: America’s Next Guy
This week’s contenders: Personal storm cloud vs. Living in the subway, Tank tracks for feet vs. Hooks for hands, Would you rather be unable to ask questions or unable to answer them, Great player on an awful team vs. Awful player on a great team.
Episode 116: Honey Boo
This week’s contenders: Would you rather be Cap’n Crunch or Captain Planet, Riding a bear with Gatling guns vs. a T-Rex with armor, Basketball guarding everyone vs. Dikembe Mutomboing all children, Laughing while dying vs. laughing yourself to death.
Episode 115: A Social Justice Podcast
This week’s contenders: Flying Monkey vs. Wicked Witch, Unwanted attention from a construction worker or Donald Trump, Bottomless pit vs. Spikes vs. Harmless looking but deadly water, Owning a basketball, baseball, football, or hockey team.
Episode 114: Warrior Poets
This week’s contenders: Wario vs. Waluigi, Last Train to London vs. Midnight Train to Georgia, American Ninja Warrior vs. American Podcast Warrior, and Tyler, Jordan, & Kevin Read a Website.
Episode 113: Telepeebeeesis
This week’s contenders: Longboarding vs. Being able to control peanut butter, Being a lion with dreadlocks vs. A Rastafarian with a mane, Having a foreign exchange student vs. Being a foreign exchange student, Godzilla vs. Cthulhu.
Episode 112: Dr. Maya Angelou
This week’s contenders: Genie vs. Leprechaun, Doors vs. Windows, Having an itch you can’t scratch vs. Frequent hiccups, Cold vs. Room-temperature ketchup.
Episode 111: Velocirafter
This week’s contenders: Would you rather have everybody laughing at you or everybody crying when you walk into a room, Selfies vs. Using fail as a noun, Angry Birds vs. Flappy Bird, House vs. Castle.
Episode 110: Family X Games
This week’s contenders: Shaking your butt whenever you’re happy vs. Shredding all paper, Pharrell Williams vs. Will Ferrell, Followed by hungry bears vs. Followed by Goldilocks, Eating exclusively off of fine china vs. Paper plates.
Episode 109: Trudy Tective
This week’s contenders: National Treasure vs. Tomb Raider, Christopher Nolan vs. Christopher Walken, Name brand vs. Generic cereals, And vs. &.
Episode 108: Diamond-Faced Snackbackler
This week’s contenders: Riding a Moose vs. Riding a Unicycle, Restless leg syndrome vs. Paranoid conspiracy theorists, Constant pledge breaks vs. Tote bag clothing, Leaving the Matrix vs. Staying in the Matrix.
Episode 107: Newb Eyoncé
This week’s contenders: Catching up, Eating everything vs. Eating nothing at a dinner party, Being bronies vs. Being rabid Beyoncé fans, 20 hours of sleep vs. Minimum sleep daily.
Episode 106: My Name Is Tacos
This week’s contenders: Tying up loose ends vs. Burning bridges, Tape vs. Staples, Igloos vs. Tents, Spanish vs. French.
Episode 105: Teen Wolf Mom
This week’s contenders: Teen Wolf vs. Teen Mom, Pizza City vs. Burger Island, Using Baby Talk vs. Being talked to like a Baby, Gummi Bears vs. Hoverboards.
Episode 104: Band of Puppies
This week’s contenders: Iron Man vs. Dryer Man, 1000 pound cake vs. 1000 pound cakes, Luge vs. Skeleton, Having a puppy vs. Being a puppy.
Episode 103: Pierce Bronzenan
This week’s contenders: Wet dogs vs. Obese elevator, All the bronze vs. One gold, Dentist vs. Eye doctor, Sochi vs. Leotards.
Episode 102: Son of Jaws
This week’s contenders: Titanic vs. Hindenburg, Florence vs. Rage, Graphic Tee vs. Worst Suit, Tweeting when tweeting vs. Face-booking while Facebooking.
Episode 101: Feliz Cumpleaños
This week’s contenders: Bubble Tape vs. Big League Chew, Denim vs. Corduroy, Champagne vs. Wine. Special Guest: Feliz Cumpleaños, manager of George Hampe of GeorgeHampe.com fame.
Episode 100: The 100th Episode
This week’s contenders: Letters! Murder Train vs. Spiritual Tracks, Radagast Hair vs. Bald Head Tattoo, Movies vs. Advice, LotR vs. Anime, Tweets vs. Spam, Intro vs. Outro, Runs vs. Puns, Podcasts vs. Tea. Also, ranch.
Episode 99: Season’s Eatings
This week’s CHRISTMAS contenders: Scrooge vs. Grinch, Toboggan vs. Inner Tube, Santa’s Elves vs. Legolas, Decking the halls vs. Trimming the tree, Season’s greetings vs. Happy holidays.
Episode 98: BOGO
This week’s contenders: Cozy by the fireplace vs. cozy in a blanket fort, 40% off vs. BOGO, Stranded in the middle of a desert vs. The middle of an ocean, Super spy vs. Super fly.
Episode 97: Pick & Roll
This week’s contenders: Pimping your ride vs. buying a new car, Social IQ vs. Music IQ, Aladdin cosplay vs. John Van John cosplay, Zee vs. Zed, A small group of large cowboys vs. A large group of small cowboys.
Episode 96: Drunkle and Hamma
This week’s contenders: Disappointing road trip vs. Thanksgiving alone, Turducken vs. Fried Turkey, Drunkle & Hamma vs. Kid’s table, Buckles vs. Feathers.
Episode 95: A Horse With No Name
This week’s contenders: OZ vs. Narnia, Han Solo vs. Blondie, Tootsie Pop vs. Blowpop, Air Bud vs. MVP.
Episode 94: Kwah Sahnz
This week’s contenders: Frisbees vs. Boomerangs, Croissants vs. Biscuits, Forever reading aloud vs. Written tourettes, No cutting or shaving of hair vs. Forever tiara.
Episode 93: deadmau5
This week’s HALLOWEEN contenders: Being pursued by the world’s skeletons or A crafty shape shifter, Pumpkin porch or Pumpkin head, Haunted house vs. Corn maze, Zombie date or Ghost date (dad).
Episode 92: Let Out Your Dog
This week’s contenders: Hair made of cotton candy vs. Mustache made of twizzlers, Time-Turner vs. Luck Potion, Part cat vs. Part dog, Doctor vs. Lawyer vs. Indian Chief.
Episode 91: Dos Años
This week’s contenders: Fruit Roll-Ups vs. Fruit by the Foot, Boba Fett vs Dog the Bounty Hunter, Water Balloons vs. Snowballs, Model Railroader vs. Model/Railroader.
Episode 90: Carpe Miley
This week’s contenders: Pumpkin Spice Lattes vs. Uggs, Sleeping on a bed of nails vs. a bed of burning coals, Possessed by the ghost of Patrick Swayze or Jim Varney, Five minutes to say whatever you want to Miley Cyrus now or in 2008.
Episode 89: The Original Kings of the Forest
This week’s contenders: Tire Swing vs. Tree House, Glitter Sneeze vs. Sneeze Cusser, Audiobooks vs. Podcasts, Speeder Bikes vs. Tauntaun.
Episode 88: The Elephant in the Room
This week’s contenders: Elephant in the Room vs. Monkey on Your Back, English Dragon vs. Chinese Dragon, Teen Girl Handwriting vs. Cargo Shorts, Cuttlefish vs. Cuddling Fish.
Episode 87: Katniss AsEverdeen
This week’s contenders: Knights vs. Vikings, Fighting Fat Albert or Simon & Garfunkel, Milk Date vs. Food Thief, Vegan vs. Bug Eatin’.
Episode 86: Psalty
This week’s contender’s: Salty vs. Sweet, Naked Class Dream vs. Unprepared Final Dream, Brunch vs. Fourthmeal, Versus vs. WYR.
Episode 85: Salvador Dali Parton
This week’s contenders: Bacon vs. Breakfast Sausage, Who would you rather have jump out of a cake naked: Salvador Dali or Weird Al Yankovic, Fighting your 19-year-old self or four of your 5-year-old self, Megashark vs Megabus.
Episode 84: A Big Big House
This week’s contenders: Giant house but eternal bachelor vs. Tiny house and happily married, Mythbusters vs. Ghostbusters, Hard Shell Taco vs. Soft Shell Taco, Hayden Christensen or Jake Lloyd after Star Wars Episodes I-III.
Episode 83: LIVE at the Arcade Comedy Theater
LIVE SHOW! This week’s contenders: Ex Beer vs. Kennywood Hitler, No Cell Phone vs. No Thumb, North West vs. Blue Ivy, Poutine vs. Pierogies, Flood vs. Dog Sled, Video Games vs. Pot Roast, Sharktopus vs. Platypus-Wolverine, Ferris Wheel vs. Movie Theater.
Episode 82: Rails & Roads
This week’s contenders: Antlers vs. Constantly smelling like cheese, R&R vs. D&D, Jo-Ann Fabrics vs. Tiger Macy’s, Master Chef vs. Gordon Ramsey.
Episode 81: Michael Bubble
This week’s contenders: Imperial China vs. Victorian Britain, Packing Peanuts vs. Bubble Wrap, DDR vs. Guitar Hero, Drifting In Space vs. Wandering the Sea.
Episode 80: An Organ to Grind
This week’s contenders: Shoulder Monkey vs. Psychic Crow, Wedgies vs. Lockers vs. Swirlies, No Music vs. No Internet, 80 Fingers vs. 80 Toes.
Episode 79: SAKEEEEEEE
This week’s contenders: Vinyl vs. The Cloud, Monsters vs. Robots, Healing vs. Teleportation, Snake-tongues vs. Lobster Claws.
Episode 78: Not in My House
This week’s contenders: Apples vs. Androids, Oven Mitts for Hands vs. Rollerblades for Feet, Ronald McStalker vs. BK StalKing, The Smallest NFL Player vs. The Tallest Soccer Player.
Episode 77: America’s Christmas
This week’s contenders: Turkey vs. Bald Eagles vs. Doves, Marrying Captain America vs. Uncle Sam, Stars vs. Stripes, Overeating vs. Overdrinking, Blueberry Pie vs. Liberty Jello.
Episode 76: Cooper Troopers
This week’s contenders: Parking Tickets vs. Speeding tickets, Storm Troopers vs. Koopa Troopas, Owner of a broken heart vs. Owner of a lonely heart, Ancestor time travel vs. Grandchildren time travel.
Episode 75: Potato Matters
This week’s contenders: Ropes Courses vs. Paintball, Sunshine vs. Incandescent Light Bulbs, 3-Musketeers Candy Bar vs. the Three Musketeers, Hunt & Gather vs. No food choice what-so-ever.
Episode 74: Vinni Puh
This week’s contenders: Morning vs. Evening Showers, Shmanderson Spongebob Anderson vs. Walmart iPod Anderson, Calvin’s Hobbes vs. Winnie the Pooh, ApocaLIPS vs. ARMageddon.
Episode 73: Diamond Chip & Colgate
This week’s contenders: Bocce vs. Croquet, Buzzed/Hungover vs. Blackout Drunk, Wrist Watch vs. Pocket Watch, Diamond Chip & Colgate.
Episode 72: The Last Jafari
This week’s contenders: Monocles vs. Bifocals, Gaston vs. Jafar, Tie-Breaking Votes vs. Ineffectual Votes, Cooling your jets vs. Holding your horses.
Episode 71: Mimesteries
This week’s contenders: Sailor Scouts vs. PowerPuff Girls, Constantly Miming vs. Constantly Juggling, Foosball vs. Air Hockey, Rugrats vs. Muppet Babies
Episode 70: The Smoothest Cornhole Board
This week’s contenders: Keebler Elves vs. Oompa-Loompas, Legos vs. K’Nex, A Disney Baseball Showdown, Carrot Top vs. Tom Bombadil.  
Episode 69: Can’t You Just Proud of Me
This week’s contenders: Undersea gold mining vs. Old-school prospecting, Utilikilts vs. Jeggings, Eternal bloody nose vs. Eternally peeing your pants, KIA Hamsters vs. Hotels.com, the Roaming Gnome, and Priceline Negotiator.
Episode 68: The Laziest River
This week’s contenders: The world’s greatest roller coaster vs. The world’s greatest lazy river, Tom Cruise (actor extraordinaire) vs. Tom Kruse (inventor of the hover round), Jurassic Park (movie) vs. Jurassic Park (experience), EA Games vs. The Devil.
Episode 67: Ultraviolet Bris
This week’s contenders: Gummi Bear skin vs. M&M Candy-coated skin, Twitter Credibility vs. Facebook Credibility, Elephant Trunk vs. Gorilla Arms, ESSAY CONTEST DISCUSSION
Episode 66: Kitster Chanchani Banai
This week’s contenders: East Coast vs. West Coast, Oversized belt buckles Vs. Plaid old man suspenders, Look like Jar-Jar vs. Sound like Jar-Jar, Salsa vs. Guacamole.
Episode 65: Tom Cast Away
This week’s contenders: Wilson from Cast Away vs. Wilson from Home Improvement, The Game of Thrones vs. Jumanji, History’s Edwards vs. History’s Jacobs, Eternal Misspell vs. Singing Fingers, Most Painful Mosh Pit vs. Smokiest Hookah Lounge.
Episode 64: Beaches Ain’t Sheets
This week’s contenders: Papa Aslan vs. Papa Mufasa, Roach Man vs. Gila Man, Marrying Rosie O’Donnel vs. Cthulhu, Friend-zone vs. Squirrel-zone.
Episode 63: Golden Yangles
This week’s contenders: Waterslides vs. Trampoline, GIRL SCOUT COOKIES BATTLE ROYALE, Entrance fog vs. Entrance theme, Save system vs. Item management, Laura Croft: Womb Raider
Episode 62: Land of the Rising Sons
This week’s contenders: Ping Pong: Thor and Loki vs. Dionysus and Hades, Mumford & Sons vs. Sanford and Son, Water cooler malt liquor vs. Extremely casual Fridays, Who’s the worse best friend: Eugene from “Hey Arnold” or Doug Funny from “Doug”
Episode 61: Valentimes
This week’s contenders: Flowers vs. Chocolate, Secret Crushes vs. Hatentimes, Being single on Valentine’s Day vs. Being in a relationship, Winking flirtatiously after every sentence vs. Being completely mentally sound except unable to use faucets.
Episode 60: Adi Dazzler
This week’s contenders: Coral Reefs vs. Rainforests, Nike vs. Adidas, Toilet Paper: Over vs. Under, Batman vs. Beyoncés.
Episode 59: National Sports Day Week
This week’s contenders: Always skipping vs. Always rhyming, J.J. Abrams vs. J.J. Jameson, Ravens vs. 49ers, Hot wings vs. Raw wings, The Legend of Zelda Owl vs. The Tootsie Pop Owl.  
Episode 58: Al Roker Tempura
This week’s contenders: Cannibal vs. Amputee, Pizza vs. Calzone, Competent and cool evil villain or Bumbling but lucky hero, Death Note vs. Scribblenauts Notebook.  
Episode 57: The National Ford League
This week’s contenders: McFeely vs. Newman, Holodeck vs. Teleporter, Indiana Jones vs. Han Solo, Quicksand vs. Avalanche, Love of your life vs. The Pokémon life.
Episode 56: Fantasy Real Estate Tycoon
This week’s contenders: Raking leaves vs. Shoveling snow, Bane love poetry vs. Bond-villain love poetry, Mt. Doom real estate vs. Ghostbusters real estate, Hyrule vs. The Mushroom Kingdom, Misjudged rings vs. Phantom vibrates.
Episode 55: Toast in the Shell
This week’s contenders: Narwhal vs. Unicorn, New Year’s Kisses vs. Mistletoe Kisses, Mary Poppins vs. Professor McGonagall, Hayden Christensen vs. Kristen Stewart. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Episode 54: A Randy Newman Christmas
This week’s contenders: Elves vs. Reindeer, Christmas Morning vs. Christmas Eve, Work Christmas Parties vs. Family Christmas Parties, Clarence Oddbody AS2 vs. Buddy the Bar Elf, Having a Home Alone Christmas vs. a Die Hard Christmas.
Episode 53: Standing & Screaming
This week’s contenders: Dragon Ball z vs. Marvel, A cowboy who rides an ostrich vs. A squirt gun that shoots jelly, Soup vs. Tea, The endurance of a man but the speed of a car vs. The speed of a man and the endurance of a car, Working for Bane vs Dr. Evil
Episode 52: Midas Boogers
This week’s contenders: Deep V’s vs. Saggy Pants, Laundry Fives vs. Booger Fifties, A Question from Jordan, Honey Priorities, 100 Feet Tall vs. 3 Inches.
Episode 51: The Griddler
This week’s contenders: Nacho Cheese vs. Gravy, Remastered Star Wars vs. Prequels, Being a Centaur vs. Being a Minotaur, The Hamburglar vs. Burgermeister Meisterburger, Being in a barbershop quartet vs. Being Charles Barkley.
Episode 50: The Last Thanksgiving
This week’s contenders: Thanksgiving Dinner vs. Thanksgiving Leftovers, Black Friday vs. Cyber Monday, Teaming with a 7-foot Tall Turkey or 10 Pilgrims, Football vs. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, The First Thanksgiving vs. The Last Thanksgiving
Episode 49: Handicats
This week’s contenders: Great Comedic Timing vs. Great Comedic Miming, Cosmic bowling vs. Disco Roller-skating, A lion with no front legs vs. A Camel, Would you rather be an Animorph or a Transformer.
Episode 48: The Jokeosphere
This week’s contenders: Donald vs. Daffy, Puns vs. Memes, Physical vs. Mental eliteness, PSAs vs. Commercials, Surf Ninjas vs. Killer Shrews
Episode 47: SPOOKY HURRICANE GHOSTACULAR
This week’s contenders: Flashlights vs. Candles, The Late Great Lazy Costume Off, Trick-or-Treating vs. Halloween Party, Being a Mummy vs. Being a Wolf Man, The Munsters vs. The Addams’ family.
Episode 46: ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY
This week’s contenders: Beetles vs. Rolling Stones, Ska vs. Smooth Jazz, T-Rex vs. Pterodactyl, Pittsburgh’s Primanti Bros. Sandwich vs. Philadelphia Cheesesteak, US vs. THANKING YOU!
Episode 45: Frostine and Me
This week’s contenders: Sandwiches vs. Casseroles, Gladiator Candyland vs. Gladiator Shoots and Ladders, Gangnam Style vs. Dragostea Din Tei, Tiny Rhino vs. Giant Armadillo, Grammar Nazis vs. Grammar Terrorists.
Episode 44: Serf’s Up
This week’s contenders: Santa’s elves vs. Tolkien’s elves, Samurai vs English Knight, Parkour foot chases vs. Car chases, Grizzly Bear vs. Silverback Gorilla, Life narrated by Morgan Freeman vs. Lord of the Rings-esque soundtrack.
Episode 43: Just Moo It
This week’s contenders: Keanu Reeves vs. Taylor Lautner, COBRA Command (G.I. Joe) vs. Cobra Kai (Karate Kid), 5 years in a Zoo vs. 5 months in Prison. $1000000 to spend on Shoes or Cheese, Wearing an Eternal Aluminum Shirt vs. Talons for Hands.
Episode 42: The Wok of Shame
This week’s contenders: Bill Goldberg (The WCW) vs. Greg Goldberg (The Mighty Ducks), Chinese food vs. Mexican food, Being tossed into Hornets vs. Shot into Brick Walls, Being surrounded by semis vs. Being stuck in traffic.
Episode 41: The Dubstep Remix
This week’s contenders: Dubstep vs. Dubbed movies, Free beer vs. Good beer, Being the greatest magician vs. The worst wizard, Dr. Who vs. The Who, Expendables vs. Guardians.
Episode 40: The Düsseldown
This week’s contenders: Heelys vs. Rip-Sticks, Inception machine vs. Total Recall machine, Doritos Locos Taco vs. KFC Double Down, Conan O’Brien vs. Conan the Barbarian, Live Action Mighty Ducks vs. Animated TV show Mighty Ducks.
Episode 39: Mr. Tubbenstein
This week’s contenders: Traveling through time vs. traveling through space, Stranded with Napoleon Bonaparte vs. Napolean Dynamite, Biggest fairy vs. Smallest man, Only being able to shout vs. Only being able to whisper, Scooby vs. Snoopy.
Episode 38: Ninjuhs = Pudcast?
This week’s contenders: Sunflower Seeds vs. Peanuts, The Joker vs. Darth Vader, Creepers vs. Aliens, The Flash vs. Spider Man, Horse chestnuts vs. Water chestnuts.
Episode 37: Air Buddies
This week’s contenders: Simpsons vs. Futurama, Blind vs. Deaf, Air Bud vs. Homeward bound, Floods vs. Droughts.
Episode 36: Zears
This week’s contenders: Post-zombie apocalyptic city vs. countryside, Changing the world but having the credit stolen vs. Being a world-renown dumbo, TV & Movies or Video Games having never existed, Being an unknown deity vs. A worshipped mortal.
Episode 35: OLYMPIC MADNESS
This week’s contenders: Summer Olympics vs. Winter Olympics, 1992 Dream Team vs. 1980 ‘Miracle on Ice’ team, Modern Olympics vs. Old School Greek Olympics, Being an Olympic coach vs. an Olympic athlete, and THE LATE GREAT OLYMPIC EVENT REVIVAL.  
Episode 34: Monk Prom
This week’s contenders: Hogwarts vs. Starfleet, Andrew Jackson vs. Theodore Roosevelt, Netflix vs. HULU, Being the most popular executioner vs. The least popular monk, Being completely hairless vs. The hairiest dude ever.
Episode 33: Freedom’s B-Day
This week’s contenders: Fireworks vs. Fires, Independence Day vs. The Patriot, Sparklers vs. Poppers, Bald Eagles vs. The Stars and Stripes, United States of America vs. Planet Earth, FOURTH OF JULY SPECTACULARTHON.
Episode 32: Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
This week’s contenders: Mariachi band vs. Bagpipe players, Hair slicked back (50’s greaser style) vs. Hair parted to the side (Richie Rich style), King of the Seas vs. King of the Trees, Coughing vs. Sneezing, Sleep talking vs. Snoring.
Episode 31: Dunks Over South Vietnam
This week’s contenders: Ring of Power vs. Horcrux, LBJ vs. LeBron James, Hats vs. Suspenders, Bagels + Cupcakes vs. Doughnuts + Muffins, Elephant trunk vs. Giraffe neck.
Episode 30: Why We Fall Down
This week’s contenders: Shopping spree with Tony Stark vs. Shopping spree with Bruce Wayne, X vs. Y, Moosopotamus vs. Croconfly, Reused coffee vs. Reused tea, Pet names vs. Car names.
Episode 29: Horseturducken
This week’s contenders: Long plane trips vs. Long car trips, Steampunk vs. Cyberpunk, Fighting 2 Horse-sized Ducks or 15 Duck-sized Horses, Legs as long as fingers or Fingers as long as legs, The ability to Read Minds or The ability to Read.
Episode 28: Lamar!
This week’s contenders: Pencils vs. Pens, Sci-fi vs. Fantasy, Digital clocks vs. Analog clocks, Boy bands vs. Female pop singers, Spider-Man vs. Wolverine. Kevin doesn’t wear a shirt!
Episode 27: A Very Baldwin Podcast
This week’s contenders: Too much clothing vs. Too little, Chess vs. Checkers, Crying at funny situations vs. Laughing at sad situations, Reading the book vs. Watching the movie, Board games with friends vs. Video games alone.
Episode 26: Parliament Dunkadelic
This week’s contenders: Tight pants vs. Loose pants, Jar Jar Binks vs. Patrick Star, Glasses vs. Contacts, Playing golf during a thunderstorm vs. Baseball during an earthquake, Stoner Movies vs. Heist Movies.
Episode 25: The Liberty Zone
This week’s contenders: Friday by Rebecca Black vs. Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley, Cap’n Crunch vs. The Lucky Charms Leprechaun, Scotland vs. Ireland, Brain Surgeons vs. Rocket Scientists, Bronies vs. Trekkies.
Episode 24: Rutherford B. Tattoo
This week’s contenders: Piercings vs. Tattoos, Donuts vs. Bagels, Sasquatch vs. Yeti, A Plea for More Questions, Agent Smith vs. T-1000, A Guest Question from TV Star George Hampe.
Episode 23: Kentucky Kayak
This week’s contenders: Italian Ice vs. Ice Cream, Earthquake vs. Volcano, Hulk vs. Superman, Super Nintendo vs. Sega Genesis, SunnyD vs. Capri-Sun. Kevin has a new mic!
Episode 22: Sasuke-Kun!!!
This week’s contenders: Chocolate Rain vs. Purple Rain, The Game Grid from Tron vs. Quidditch from Harry Potter, Otaku vs. Furries, Flying Fish vs. Non-flying Penguins, Bill & Ted vs. Wayne & Garth, Lions vs. Crocogators. Jordan records from a cave!
Episode 21: NBA Alien Raptor Hang Time 2 12 48
This week’s contenders: Paintball vs. Laser tag, The alien in Alien vs. The velociraptor in Jurassic Park, Clowns vs. Mimes, Dora the Explorer vs. Elmo, Partiers vs. Dogs.
Episode 20: The Bling of a Humble Spirit
This week’s contenders: Soup vs. Salad, Lost vs. 24, JRPGs vs. MMOs, Mr. T vs. Chuck Norris, Living with a super positive person vs. Living with a super negative person.
Episode 19: The Punmaster, starring Jordan
This week’s contenders: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. Power Rangers, Jeans vs. Khakis, Texting vs. Calling, Nerf Guns vs. Water Guns, Hangin’ with Dumbledore or Gandalf.
Episode 18: High Fangled Edition
This week’s contenders: Frodo vs. Skywalker, Coffee vs. Tea, Old people vs. Young people, Cash money bling bling vs. Credit & debit, Mr. Rogers vs. Betty White.
Episode 17: Mullhetta
This week’s contenders: Mullets vs. Comb-overs, You might be a redneck jokes vs. Yo mamma jokes, Miss Piggy vs. Slagathor! the Destroyer, Centaur vs. Liger. Jordan don’t got no tonsils!
Episode 16: B is for Best High Five Ever
This week’s contenders: Covered in Goo vs. Smelling of Rot, Cookie Monster vs. Pac Man, High Five vs. Fist Pound, Pigeons vs. Seagulls, Sitting next to a mother with a crying baby vs. Someone chain smoking in your face.
Episode 15: White Lower Clastle
This week’s contenders: 1 Polar Bear vs. 50 Koala Bears, Fan art vs. Fan Fiction, Dying Happy vs. Dying Happily, Dustin Hoffman’s Captain Hook vs. Tim Curry’s Long John Silver, Losing a drinking contest vs. losing an eating contest.
Episode 14: Space Age Technology
This week’s contenders: Deep sea danger vs. Deep space danger, Sir William Shakespeare vs. Dr. Seuss, Losing an arm vs. Losing a leg, Ranch vs. Hot Sauce, Wearing a suit for the rest of your life vs. wearing pajamas for the rest of your life.
Episode 13: U R A QT
This week’s contenders: Romantic Comedies vs. Romantic Dramas, Valentine’s Day vs. St, Patrick’s Day, Cupid vs. the Easter Bunny, Candy Hearts vs. Candy Corn, Pepé Le Pew vs. Helga Geraldine Patacki.
Episode 12: Superb Owl Sunday
This week’s contenders: A world without Peanut Butter vs. A world without Jelly, The Godfather vs. Scarface, FOOTBALL VS. FOOTBALL, Thin crust vs. Thick Crust, Cold Feet vs. Hot Seat.
Episode 11: The Truth Sucks
This week’s contenders: Triscuits vs. Wheat Thins, Robin Hood vs. James Bond, Beautiful but Tasteless vs. Talented but Mean Looking & Smelly, CDs vs. MP3s, Being Covered in Glitter vs. Covered in Sand.
Episode 10: Four Score and 20 Drinks Ago
This week’s contenders: Year of Summer vs. Year of Winter, Jack Sparrow vs. The Dread Pirate Roberts, Baths vs. Showers, Time Travel to the Past vs. The Future, Batman vs. Superman
Episode 9: Y Chro’s 4 Life
This week’s contenders: Paper vs. Plastic, Zero Privacy vs. Solitude, Sequels vs. Remakes, Pokémon vs. Digimon, Dementors vs. Ring Wraiths.
Episode 8: Foot. Long. Hot dog.
This week’s contenders: Hamburgers vs. Hot dogs, Patrick Stewart vs. Patrick Swayze, Dickensian vs. Kafkaesque, Reg Soda vs. Diet, Hearing animals’ thoughts (but they secretly hate you) vs. Spooning with a leprechaun.
Episode 7: The Reason for the Season
This week’s contenders: Home Alone 2 vs. Mental Stability, 10 Lords a Leaping vs. 11 Pipers Piping, Eggnog vs. Fruit Cake, Icicle Lights vs. Inflatable Decorations, Real Tree vs. Fake Tree, 1966 Grinch vs. Grinch 2000.
Episode 6: Peas on earth
This week’s contenders: Buff Squirrel vs. Rabid Raccoon, Being a Wizard vs. Meeting a Doctor, Bieber vs. Nickelback, Hipster vs. Emo, Burning vs. Freezing.
Episode 5: I really need this truck.
This week’s contenders: Blonds vs. Redheads, Hot Pizza vs. Cold, Disillusioned vs. Disenfranchised, Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Sly Stallone, Unicorns vs. Pegasus.
Episode 4: Chief “Watches You Die”
This week’s contenders: Catz vs. Dogz, Formspring vs. Hunger Games vs. Harry Potter vs. Twilight, Candies vs. Cakes, Lawyer vs. Rapper.
Episode 3: Jordan has a lot of friends
This week’s contenders: Moving vs. Fluarrhea, Mario vs. Sonic, Desserted Island vs. The Ghost of Rocky V, Bread Bowls à la Mode.
Episode 2: The Holiday Episode
This week’s contenders: Pennies vs. Toothpaste, McDonalds vs. Burger King, Hobbits vs. Ewoks, Apples vs. Oranges. Special guest: better mic quality, smaller file size.
Episode 1: Wookie Life Day, leather pants
This week’s contenders: Waffles vs. Pancakes, Zompocalypse vs. Ice Age, Sockdals vs. Crocs, Baby vs. Gammy, “Wookie Life Day, leather pants.”