Atlas Balked

Atlas Balked

Balker Talker Media

Welcome to Atlas Balked, a weekly chronicle concerning the mundane, weird, and maybe even sometimes dramatic happenings of a Simple Fantasy Baseball League . This podcast captures the thoughts and musings Gregg, Joe, Jack and Tim - four of the twelve owners in the league.

A Geisha, A Saloon Scarlet Lady, or Brandy?

A Geisha, A Saloon Scarlet Lady, or Brandy?

What to do about your neighbor who smells like shit, literally, the best opening line on how to pick up a guy at the bar, the multiverse and its direct connection to parenting, and what to do when your wife severely misuses a word around kids and coworkers.

Aug 2, 2023 • 1:31:28

Beastiality Adjacent

Beastiality Adjacent

Who's the psychotic one, your roommate or you? And also, Brian Griffin has what it takes to make the girls scream

Jan 25, 2023 • 1:11:57

Cause & Effect

Cause & Effect

Reap What You Sow

Mar 4, 2020 • 40:20

Perfectly Lovely and Brilliant

Perfectly Lovely and Brilliant

Tim is dead

Feb 18, 2020 • 43:58

Stealing Signs

Stealing Signs

For the love of Big Bird, and stealing signs talk

Jan 21, 2020 • 1:19:10

Roll With It Brother

Roll With It Brother

We're back after a brief hiatus and play some fun games

Jan 14, 2020 • 59:42

Naughty By Nature

Naughty By Nature

Dr. Swag Doolittle gives us a lesson and a potential new owner

Dec 10, 2019 • 1:06:45

Big Audio Mukbang

Big Audio Mukbang

Nerf and the blurring of podcasting and reality

Nov 26, 2019 • 59:48

Balls Deep in Fantasy

Balls Deep in Fantasy

We go deep into our upcoming expansion draft (sort of) and the boys attempt to solve some of the most intractable problems facing us today.

Nov 12, 2019 • 54:58

The Pageantry of Gwar

The Pageantry of Gwar

We interview our newest owner and GK escapes another dicey situation

Nov 5, 2019 • 1:10:17

Nails

Nails

A lot of humor and a lot of sadness

Oct 15, 2019 • 55:19

Life After Fantasy

Life After Fantasy

GK’s dilemma and figuring out what this show is now

Oct 7, 2019 • 53:50

Gold Crown Members

Gold Crown Members

The worst trash talkers of all time and a poetic challenge

Oct 1, 2019 • 53:46

Maledictions and Anathemata

Maledictions and Anathemata

We scare ourselves with a terrible curse encounter that leaves the Dreamers in shambles and J-Lo is forced to confess

Sep 17, 2019 • 55:00

Atlas Punted

Atlas Punted

A terribly boring World Series and the Antonio Brown saga is covered as the crew moves into the offseason

Sep 10, 2019 • 57:12

Gas Station PEDs

Gas Station PEDs

Weird baseball PEDs and expansion talk!

Sep 3, 2019 • 58:50

Where The Heck Is GK?

Where The Heck Is GK?

Our worry about GK's safety and the true history of the beer snake

Aug 20, 2019 • 56:44

Wanna J-Lo Bro?

Wanna J-Lo Bro?

The boys are back, rested, and ready after a mid-summer break.

Aug 13, 2019 • 50:58

Dear Delilah

Dear Delilah

We have some dedications and a look across the ages of fantasy baseball

Jul 29, 2019 • 47:08

The Dreamers Strike Back

The Dreamers Strike Back

Dusty strikes back, real life villains and the Juiceless HOF inductees

Jul 23, 2019 • 59:50

Atlas Cringed

Atlas Cringed

We break down 90's boy bands, the MLB home run derby, and a chilling conspiracy theory

Jul 16, 2019 • 52:04

It's Just Math

It's Just Math

We discuss T-shirt design and try to fix the MLB Home Run Derby

Jul 9, 2019 • 54:14

Cricket Balls

Cricket Balls

Advice for the Dreamers and why Hurling is so much better than Cricket

Jul 2, 2019 • 54:16

Choose Your Own Title

Choose Your Own Title

A big little fight and a question about MLB’s true motives

Jun 25, 2019 • 56:38

Tiger Blood

Tiger Blood

Potential big news and (mostly negative) listener feedback

Jun 18, 2019 • 53:38

Playing Under Protest

Playing Under Protest

The playoff picture starts to come into focus as a disagreement brews on air

Jun 11, 2019 • 51:48

#Play Badly for Adley

#Play Badly for Adley

Surprise teams surge, Pseudo visits and drops some knowledge, and a buttery surprise

Jun 4, 2019 • 1:00:24

Cleaning With Atlas Balked

Cleaning With Atlas Balked

The youth has arrived in our league and we continue to explore Harper’s wake of wreckage

May 28, 2019 • 56:24

Touched

Touched

J-Lo needs help to break out of his horrible slump and we highlight another podcast.

May 21, 2019 • 55:08

Not the Crispest of Episodes

Not the Crispest of Episodes

J-Lo’s team continues its free fall, the question of Scottie’s compliment, and why Albert shouldn’t be upset.

May 15, 2019 • 56:22

Fixing Baseball

Fixing Baseball

GK takes the paranoia from last week even further, Dusty joins us to talk about his method of success, and the crew fixes baseball for the fans of the future.

May 7, 2019 • 59:48

Geppetto and Watson

Geppetto and Watson

Vladito has arrived and Detective Swag spins a conspiracy theory.

Apr 30, 2019 • 55:32

When Strangers Trade

When Strangers Trade

A rare trade with playoff implications happens in this little league

Apr 23, 2019 • 52:58

Snake Oil

Snake Oil

Winning early in the season means different things to different teams

Apr 16, 2019 • 1:01:32

The Trash Panda Mystery

The Trash Panda Mystery

In this episode we talk about the offseason moves (and they were BIG), Gregg investigates motives, Swag takes center stage in many ways, the dynasty aspect, the blossoming of prospects, Vladito’s tragic story, love notes to Bryce, preseason predictions, the Kama Sutra method of dynasty strategy(!?!?), is Tim selfish?, why Gregg likes the prospect game and why its a sad story, Joe is playing us all, a fight (!!!), Mike Tyson’s knockout, Swag predicts who wins it all this year, a mystery is solved

Apr 10, 2019 • 1:16:05

The Balky Awards Show

The Balky Awards Show

Put on your tuxedo shirt and relive the amazing second season of this goofy podcast show.

Sep 27, 2018 • 1:15:34

For Whom The Bell Bunts

For Whom The Bell Bunts

Trout on the trading block?!? GK is very suspicious and Swag wants it to be true.

Sep 13, 2018 • 1:03:44

There's A lot of Ugly Catchers

There's A lot of Ugly Catchers

In this episode we talk about the first round of the playoffs, J-Lo's happiness at seeing us, GK and the Detective get distracted for two weeks but still pull it off, some of our nominees for all HQ team, J-Lo's thoughts on not wearing socks, some baseball skirmishes (!), why Buster continues to earn nominations, Togas and Tickles, also, we delve deeper into the shallowness of the DH spot (as it pertains to HQ of course) and Tammy questions the impact our HQ obsession will have on our listenersh

Sep 8, 2018 • 1:10:18

My Chiweenie

My Chiweenie

In this episode we talk about the games of the week and the epic clash between Pops and GK for the “who’s not the worst” cup, a final look at the standings and a rundown of the playoff seedings, a visit from the Pseudo Scout who is asked to wonder about Vladito’s bad wheel (which he decidedly does not do, dammit) and then, for an Atlas Balked first - we have the Psuedo Scout on with the Mid-ball Wizard in which they talk about a chance encounter of the two while each on a clandestine visit to Co

Aug 16, 2018 • 1:26:06

The Minotaur Mystery

The Minotaur Mystery

Another mystery solved by the detective.

Aug 9, 2018 • 1:07:02

Two-Time Award Winner

Two-Time Award Winner

Swag just can't stick to the plan and why GK has very low commitment.

Aug 2, 2018 • 1:06:42

Detective Swag Breaks The Case

Detective Swag Breaks The Case

The 2018 season is starting to come into focus.

Jul 26, 2018 • 59:02

One Very Weird Game

One Very Weird Game

Dusty makes his first appearance on the show.

Jul 19, 2018 • 1:12:42

Atomic Pig Turds

Atomic Pig Turds

The famous Atomic Pig Turd recipe is revealed!

Jul 12, 2018 • 1:02:24

Trading You For a Younger Dog

Trading You For a Younger Dog

Prospects abound and Scottie's obsession with a players age.

Jun 28, 2018 • 1:04:18

General Soreness

General Soreness

In this episode we talk about Joe being sparkly, Gregg feeling safe, the Harper curse returning, Joe falls into the Skype mainframe just like in Tron, a harsh assessment of Bryce, what a winning player may be, can Bryce make $400 million if he’s a jerk?, GK says its all Strasburg’s fault, why would a GM say such a thing?, Swag’s simple advice for the MidBall Wizard, the best of the worst, the bots continue to be jealous of Gregg, Jack fails at winning by losing, Chris made a trade (I know - can

Jun 21, 2018 • 1:00:02

Mid-Season Maneuvering

Mid-Season Maneuvering

Tim and Swag were sick and low energy, Lo-Key was rested and ready, and GK was stuck in traffic, so this one stands out for the fact that it isn’t quite like the others….and thats ok in my book.

Jun 14, 2018 • 59:12

The Bots Love Him and the People Despise Him

The Bots Love Him and the People Despise Him

Joe still hasn't listened to last week's podcast, and we know you know why.

Jun 7, 2018 • 1:01:42

Darty like a Pod Star!

Darty like a Pod Star!

Lightning brings the FIRE on this episode!

May 31, 2018 • 1:09:28

Tequila! And the Gallo Shift

Tequila! And the Gallo Shift

We are all over the place in this episode while keeping a loose connection to baseball.

May 24, 2018 • 1:01:55

Curses All Over The Place

Curses All Over The Place

The Juiceless League can be a dangerous place if you are superstitious.

May 17, 2018 • 1:12:46

Is Anybody There?

Is Anybody There?

Is anyone listening? Really? Seriously….is it just the bots downloading our show?

May 10, 2018 • 1:03:00

The Mid-ball Wizard

The Mid-ball Wizard

Bella joins us to talk about the things she loves about baseball and Scottie teaches us a new strategy.

May 3, 2018 • 1:02:34

Buddy Buddy Farm Team B.S.

Buddy Buddy Farm Team B.S.

Why we play this dumb game and the accusation of insider trading.

Apr 28, 2018 • 1:03:02

MLB Needs a Goon in the Pen

MLB Needs a Goon in the Pen

In this episode we talk about Chirinos breaks out at the worst (best) time, weather trouble, baseball fight breakdowns, a nice glove-dodge, how Aj Ellis is greater than Buster Posey, a new word, Gregg waxing poetic about nasty boys, Gregg hurts Margot, video in the pit, hockey style tolerance of fighting on the diamond, the benefits of such a practice, the Pseudo Scout stops by for a drink…..of a very special beer, we catch up with Justin, Mr. Magoo and the Columbo strategy,  palm trees that lo

Apr 19, 2018 • 1:02:52

The Competitive Spirit Clause

The Competitive Spirit Clause

A very "wonkish" episode focusing on dynasty fantasy baseball rules.

Apr 11, 2018 • 1:09:54

The Cream Cheese Incident

The Cream Cheese Incident

Why we call GK the angry one.

Apr 4, 2018 • 51:50

Predictions That Are Surely Wrong

Predictions That Are Surely Wrong

We simply can't figure out what the heck is going to happen but we act like we do.

Mar 29, 2018 • 1:21:38

Tim Hates This Episode

Tim Hates This Episode

To give you just a small idea of how niche we are, we actually discuss the prospect value of Boba Fett for a few minutes.

Feb 19, 2018 • 1:09:28

The Ghost King Reanimates a Zombie Team

The Ghost King Reanimates a Zombie Team

Our winter meeting.

Jan 28, 2018 • 51:16

The Catfish Hunter S. Thompson Chronicles

The Catfish Hunter S. Thompson Chronicles

In this episode we talk about the Champion!, the Cleveland staff, getting hot at the right time, the best players this year, little league game update, aging overweight boxers, what we could have been called, yet another conspiracy theory, we were boring on purpose, negging people before you were born, underwhelming pictures, grandma’s antique angel, favorite memories from the podcast, the secret life of a corn hole addict, Tim as Neil Diamond, we still haven’t interviewed Pops, we interview Pop

Sep 21, 2017 • 1:07:06

The Ghost King

The Ghost King

Wondering why we are so popular in Finland with our guest host Scottie.

Sep 12, 2017 • 51:16

We Are Always Wrong

We Are Always Wrong

The title says it all folks.

Sep 5, 2017 • 59:52

I Don't Believe In Luck. But.....

I Don't Believe In Luck. But.....

Why people should always trade with Tim.

Aug 29, 2017 • 53:30

A Dark Turn

A Dark Turn

All of Tim's plans are in jeopardy.

Aug 22, 2017 • 1:02:04

Soft-Playing It

Soft-Playing It

The epic game that wasn't and why Joe is the only true libertarian on this show.

Aug 15, 2017 • 1:13:02

Ice Cream or Brownie

Ice Cream or Brownie

We wonder if Freddie Freeman should ever be a healthy scratch and Dolphin call ring tones.

Aug 8, 2017 • 1:03:08

A Bragging Poltergeist

A Bragging Poltergeist

Game theory, more game theory, Holy Jesus, will this game theory bit ever end? We also discuss why Gregg used to hate this league.

Aug 2, 2017 • 1:03:39

Favorable Randomness

Favorable Randomness

The crew talks about the battles throughout the league and Scottie visits to talk about why trading is hard.

Jul 26, 2017 • 1:11:06

Godzilla Vs. King Kong

Godzilla Vs. King Kong

Drunk texting and a friendly game of cornhole that doesn't end well.

Jul 19, 2017 • 1:18:45

Jack Swagger Fights the Gods

Jack Swagger Fights the Gods

Don't fly too close to the sun...

Jul 12, 2017 • 1:18:06

In The Presence of Pure Evil

In The Presence of Pure Evil

The anatomy of a curse.

Jul 5, 2017 • 1:13:04

So You're Telling Me There's A Chance

So You're Telling Me There's A Chance

In this episode we talk about Gregg’s sickness, thinning the herd, poor predictions, Scottie’s confidence, Blondie is done, Ramirez is rated, Moustakas has arrived, born under a bad sign, Mikey joins us again, playoff predictions, tiebreakers, Jack is an Omission fan, proper curse etiquette, the realignment is working, backpedaling, the Braves are good, Adams was fat but isn’t now, flexible superstars, why Mikey hates Harper, Jack rants about Posey (again), Mikey as a podcast star, Elden is a ba

Jun 26, 2017 • 1:15:48

Racing Giraffes in Business Suits

Racing Giraffes in Business Suits

We examine Jack's game within the game and the amazing realization that there is someone walking earth today who doesn't know who Lennon and McCartney were (are).

Jun 23, 2017 • 1:05:36

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Are you a McCartney or Lennon fan (post Beatles) and why Tim is like Steinbrenner.

Jun 15, 2017 • 1:16:54

Most Likely To Get Shot

Most Likely To Get Shot

Pop's team explodes and LJ joins us for guest appearance!

Jun 7, 2017 • 1:17:58

An Epic Collision of Hair

An Epic Collision of Hair

We talk about why it's not always sunny in Philadelphia and are joined by Zander Kean, an actual sports broadcasting professional!

May 31, 2017 • 1:18:40

Pure Macho Bulls***

Pure Macho Bulls***

Chris joins us to talk about Bryce trades and an epic battle takes place on roller skates in the 80's.

May 25, 2017 • 1:17:22

Pseudo Scout

Pseudo Scout

Introducing the Pseudo Scout and parity in the Juiceless League.

May 17, 2017 • 1:16:56

Life Imitates Television

Life Imitates Television

We interview Mikey who is the owner of Lethal Injection and talk about drug busts, baseball doppelgängers, and a bunch of other stuff related to the price of pierogis.

May 10, 2017 • 1:18:16

The Peter Pan Complex

The Peter Pan Complex

We interview Scottie, the owner of the Omission Commission and discuss the merits of rebuilding early in the season.

May 4, 2017 • 1:35:06

Take 6!

Take 6!

Vires, Artes, Mores.

Apr 29, 2017 • 1:29:44

The Art of the Trade

The Art of the Trade

We create our division names and other rabbit holes.

Apr 25, 2017 • 1:37:14

The Weirdness

The Weirdness

Jack returns to do our (not so) pre-season predictions for the league.

Apr 20, 2017 • 1:36:24

Fred Lynn

Fred Lynn

The only episode (so far) named after an MLB player.

Apr 12, 2017 • 1:13:00

Beaten by a Benigno

Beaten by a Benigno

Kind of introducing a podcast we don't expect anyone will listen to, including the other owners in the league.

Apr 5, 2017 • 1:43:25

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