Atlas Balked
Balker Talker Media
Welcome to Atlas Balked, a weekly chronicle concerning the mundane, weird, and maybe even sometimes dramatic happenings of a Simple Fantasy Baseball League .
This podcast captures the thoughts and musings Gregg, Joe, Jack and Tim - four of the twelve owners in the league.
A Geisha, A Saloon Scarlet Lady, or Brandy?
What to do about your neighbor who smells like shit, literally, the best opening line on how to pick up a guy at the bar, the multiverse and its direct connection to parenting, and what to do when your wife severely misuses a word around kids and coworkers.
Beastiality Adjacent
Who's the psychotic one, your roommate or you? And also, Brian Griffin has what it takes to make the girls scream
Cause & Effect
Reap What You Sow
Perfectly Lovely and Brilliant
Tim is dead
Stealing Signs
For the love of Big Bird, and stealing signs talk
Roll With It Brother
We're back after a brief hiatus and play some fun games
Naughty By Nature
Dr. Swag Doolittle gives us a lesson and a potential new owner
Big Audio Mukbang
Nerf and the blurring of podcasting and reality
Balls Deep in Fantasy
We go deep into our upcoming expansion draft (sort of) and the boys attempt to solve some of the most intractable problems facing us today.
The Pageantry of Gwar
We interview our newest owner and GK escapes another dicey situation
Nails
A lot of humor and a lot of sadness
Life After Fantasy
GK’s dilemma and figuring out what this show is now
Gold Crown Members
The worst trash talkers of all time and a poetic challenge
Maledictions and Anathemata
We scare ourselves with a terrible curse encounter that leaves the Dreamers in shambles and J-Lo is forced to confess
Atlas Punted
A terribly boring World Series and the Antonio Brown saga is covered as the crew moves into the offseason
Gas Station PEDs
Weird baseball PEDs and expansion talk!
Where The Heck Is GK?
Our worry about GK's safety and the true history of the beer snake
Wanna J-Lo Bro?
The boys are back, rested, and ready after a mid-summer break.
Dear Delilah
We have some dedications and a look across the ages of fantasy baseball
The Dreamers Strike Back
Dusty strikes back, real life villains and the Juiceless HOF inductees
Atlas Cringed
We break down 90's boy bands, the MLB home run derby, and a chilling conspiracy theory
It's Just Math
We discuss T-shirt design and try to fix the MLB Home Run Derby
Cricket Balls
Advice for the Dreamers and why Hurling is so much better than Cricket
Choose Your Own Title
A big little fight and a question about MLB’s true motives
Tiger Blood
Potential big news and (mostly negative) listener feedback
Playing Under Protest
The playoff picture starts to come into focus as a disagreement brews on air
#Play Badly for Adley
Surprise teams surge, Pseudo visits and drops some knowledge, and a buttery surprise
Cleaning With Atlas Balked
The youth has arrived in our league and we continue to explore Harper’s wake of wreckage
Touched
J-Lo needs help to break out of his horrible slump and we highlight another podcast.
Not the Crispest of Episodes
J-Lo’s team continues its free fall, the question of Scottie’s compliment, and why Albert shouldn’t be upset.
Fixing Baseball
GK takes the paranoia from last week even further, Dusty joins us to talk about his method of success, and the crew fixes baseball for the fans of the future.
Geppetto and Watson
Vladito has arrived and Detective Swag spins a conspiracy theory.
When Strangers Trade
A rare trade with playoff implications happens in this little league
Snake Oil
Winning early in the season means different things to different teams
The Trash Panda Mystery
In this episode we talk about the offseason moves (and they were BIG), Gregg investigates motives, Swag takes center stage in many ways, the dynasty aspect, the blossoming of prospects, Vladito’s tragic story, love notes to Bryce, preseason predictions, the Kama Sutra method of dynasty strategy(!?!?), is Tim selfish?, why Gregg likes the prospect game and why its a sad story, Joe is playing us all, a fight (!!!), Mike Tyson’s knockout, Swag predicts who wins it all this year, a mystery is solved
The Balky Awards Show
Put on your tuxedo shirt and relive the amazing second season of this goofy podcast show.
For Whom The Bell Bunts
Trout on the trading block?!? GK is very suspicious and Swag wants it to be true.
There's A lot of Ugly Catchers
In this episode we talk about the first round of the playoffs, J-Lo's happiness at seeing us, GK and the Detective get distracted for two weeks but still pull it off, some of our nominees for all HQ team, J-Lo's thoughts on not wearing socks, some baseball skirmishes (!), why Buster continues to earn nominations, Togas and Tickles, also, we delve deeper into the shallowness of the DH spot (as it pertains to HQ of course) and Tammy questions the impact our HQ obsession will have on our listenersh
My Chiweenie
In this episode we talk about the games of the week and the epic clash between Pops and GK for the “who’s not the worst” cup, a final look at the standings and a rundown of the playoff seedings, a visit from the Pseudo Scout who is asked to wonder about Vladito’s bad wheel (which he decidedly does not do, dammit) and then, for an Atlas Balked first - we have the Psuedo Scout on with the Mid-ball Wizard in which they talk about a chance encounter of the two while each on a clandestine visit to Co
The Minotaur Mystery
Another mystery solved by the detective.
Two-Time Award Winner
Swag just can't stick to the plan and why GK has very low commitment.
Detective Swag Breaks The Case
The 2018 season is starting to come into focus.
One Very Weird Game
Dusty makes his first appearance on the show.
Atomic Pig Turds
The famous Atomic Pig Turd recipe is revealed!
Trading You For a Younger Dog
Prospects abound and Scottie's obsession with a players age.
General Soreness
In this episode we talk about Joe being sparkly, Gregg feeling safe, the Harper curse returning, Joe falls into the Skype mainframe just like in Tron, a harsh assessment of Bryce, what a winning player may be, can Bryce make $400 million if he’s a jerk?, GK says its all Strasburg’s fault, why would a GM say such a thing?, Swag’s simple advice for the MidBall Wizard, the best of the worst, the bots continue to be jealous of Gregg, Jack fails at winning by losing, Chris made a trade (I know - can
Mid-Season Maneuvering
Tim and Swag were sick and low energy, Lo-Key was rested and ready, and GK was stuck in traffic, so this one stands out for the fact that it isn’t quite like the others….and thats ok in my book.
The Bots Love Him and the People Despise Him
Joe still hasn't listened to last week's podcast, and we know you know why.
Darty like a Pod Star!
Lightning brings the FIRE on this episode!
Tequila! And the Gallo Shift
We are all over the place in this episode while keeping a loose connection to baseball.
Curses All Over The Place
The Juiceless League can be a dangerous place if you are superstitious.
Is Anybody There?
Is anyone listening? Really? Seriously….is it just the bots downloading our show?
The Mid-ball Wizard
Bella joins us to talk about the things she loves about baseball and Scottie teaches us a new strategy.
Buddy Buddy Farm Team B.S.
Why we play this dumb game and the accusation of insider trading.
MLB Needs a Goon in the Pen
In this episode we talk about Chirinos breaks out at the worst (best) time, weather trouble, baseball fight breakdowns, a nice glove-dodge, how Aj Ellis is greater than Buster Posey, a new word, Gregg waxing poetic about nasty boys, Gregg hurts Margot, video in the pit, hockey style tolerance of fighting on the diamond, the benefits of such a practice, the Pseudo Scout stops by for a drink…..of a very special beer, we catch up with Justin, Mr. Magoo and the Columbo strategy, palm trees that lo
The Competitive Spirit Clause
A very "wonkish" episode focusing on dynasty fantasy baseball rules.
The Cream Cheese Incident
Why we call GK the angry one.
Predictions That Are Surely Wrong
We simply can't figure out what the heck is going to happen but we act like we do.
Tim Hates This Episode
To give you just a small idea of how niche we are, we actually discuss the prospect value of Boba Fett for a few minutes.
The Ghost King Reanimates a Zombie Team
Our winter meeting.
The Catfish Hunter S. Thompson Chronicles
In this episode we talk about the Champion!, the Cleveland staff, getting hot at the right time, the best players this year, little league game update, aging overweight boxers, what we could have been called, yet another conspiracy theory, we were boring on purpose, negging people before you were born, underwhelming pictures, grandma’s antique angel, favorite memories from the podcast, the secret life of a corn hole addict, Tim as Neil Diamond, we still haven’t interviewed Pops, we interview Pop
The Ghost King
Wondering why we are so popular in Finland with our guest host Scottie.
We Are Always Wrong
The title says it all folks.
I Don't Believe In Luck. But.....
Why people should always trade with Tim.
A Dark Turn
All of Tim's plans are in jeopardy.
Soft-Playing It
The epic game that wasn't and why Joe is the only true libertarian on this show.
Ice Cream or Brownie
We wonder if Freddie Freeman should ever be a healthy scratch and Dolphin call ring tones.
A Bragging Poltergeist
Game theory, more game theory, Holy Jesus, will this game theory bit ever end? We also discuss why Gregg used to hate this league.
Favorable Randomness
The crew talks about the battles throughout the league and Scottie visits to talk about why trading is hard.
Godzilla Vs. King Kong
Drunk texting and a friendly game of cornhole that doesn't end well.
Jack Swagger Fights the Gods
Don't fly too close to the sun...
In The Presence of Pure Evil
The anatomy of a curse.
So You're Telling Me There's A Chance
In this episode we talk about Gregg’s sickness, thinning the herd, poor predictions, Scottie’s confidence, Blondie is done, Ramirez is rated, Moustakas has arrived, born under a bad sign, Mikey joins us again, playoff predictions, tiebreakers, Jack is an Omission fan, proper curse etiquette, the realignment is working, backpedaling, the Braves are good, Adams was fat but isn’t now, flexible superstars, why Mikey hates Harper, Jack rants about Posey (again), Mikey as a podcast star, Elden is a ba
Racing Giraffes in Business Suits
We examine Jack's game within the game and the amazing realization that there is someone walking earth today who doesn't know who Lennon and McCartney were (are).
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
Are you a McCartney or Lennon fan (post Beatles) and why Tim is like Steinbrenner.
Most Likely To Get Shot
Pop's team explodes and LJ joins us for guest appearance!
An Epic Collision of Hair
We talk about why it's not always sunny in Philadelphia and are joined by Zander Kean, an actual sports broadcasting professional!
Pure Macho Bulls***
Chris joins us to talk about Bryce trades and an epic battle takes place on roller skates in the 80's.
Pseudo Scout
Introducing the Pseudo Scout and parity in the Juiceless League.
Life Imitates Television
We interview Mikey who is the owner of Lethal Injection and talk about drug busts, baseball doppelgängers, and a bunch of other stuff related to the price of pierogis.
The Peter Pan Complex
We interview Scottie, the owner of the Omission Commission and discuss the merits of rebuilding early in the season.
Take 6!
Vires, Artes, Mores.
The Art of the Trade
We create our division names and other rabbit holes.
The Weirdness
Jack returns to do our (not so) pre-season predictions for the league.
Fred Lynn
The only episode (so far) named after an MLB player.
Beaten by a Benigno
Kind of introducing a podcast we don't expect anyone will listen to, including the other owners in the league.