True Crime Medieval

True Crime Medieval

Anne Brannen and Michelle Butler

1000 years of people behaving badly.

104. Special Episode: Abd Allah ibn Ali invites the Umayyades to a Banquet and Slaughters Them, Palestine 750

104. Special Episode: Abd Allah ibn Ali invites the Umayyades to a Banquet and Slaughters Them, Palestine 750

Usually our special episodes move out of our 1000 year time zone, but for this one we stay in the middle ages and move off of the European continent, to one of the incidents in the fall of the Umayyad caliphate and the rise of the Abbasid caliphate, a blood feast! We haven't had one of those for a while, and we were very excited, but then we did our due diligence and discovered that it probably didn't happen. That is, the Umayyades were slaughtered, alright, but probably not at a banquet where t

Dec 29, 2024 • 40:08

103. Pino III Ordelaffi Poisons a Whole Lot of People, Forli, Northern Italy, 1463-1480

103. Pino III Ordelaffi Poisons a Whole Lot of People, Forli, Northern Italy, 1463-1480

From the 12th century to Renaissance, the Ordelaffi family ruled the commune of Forli, in Northern Italy. On and off. Also, on and off again. When they weren't fighting others for the commune -- Florence, the Emperor, the Pope -- they were fighting each other, and in 1376, poison became a favorite weapon, when Sinibaldi I Ordelaffi poisoned first his uncle and then his cousin, so that he could have Forli. He's not even our protagonist, though, because we lit, for this episode, on Pino III Orderl

Nov 9, 2024 • 46:59

102. William de Burgh Starves his Cousin Walter to Death, Greencastle, Ulster 1332

102. William de Burgh Starves his Cousin Walter to Death, Greencastle, Ulster 1332

William Donn de Burgh, the 3rd Earl of Ulster, was, alas, not so great at being the Earl of Ulster. Starving his cousin Walter Liath de Burgh to death led to Walter's sister Gylle (also of course a cousin of William's) getting her husband to have him murdered. And then, the whole succession problem -- there were several cousins wandering around, and William's heir was a girl, and that was right out -- led to the Burke Civil War. What with one thing and another, though the de Burghs married into

Oct 1, 2024 • 40:13

101. Defenestrations of Prague, Prague, Bohemia 1419, 1483, 1618

101. Defenestrations of Prague, Prague, Bohemia 1419, 1483, 1618

Humans have been throwing each other out of windows pretty much as long as humans have had windows more than one story or so off the ground, but only Prague is famous for them. Two of them actually led to wars, even. We are very happy to tell you about the famous defenestrations, wherin all sorts of officials got thrown out of windows, and Michelle is happy to tell you about the tourist trade. Oh, and also Susan Howe's poem "Defenestration of Prague," which is, of course, about Ireland. Because

Aug 6, 2024 • 41:25

100. Retrospective: Our Favorites of the Past 100 Episodes

100. Retrospective: Our Favorites of the Past 100 Episodes

It's Episode 100! So we both went through the episodes we've published so far, to pick our favorites.  Out of them, we picked three apiece, and then, as a grand winner, the one that turned up on both of our lists -- not the highest favorite of either of us, but pretty damn beloved.  We explain why they all made the cut. And had a lot of fun, remembering them. Here's to the next 100! We do have a pretty long list to see us through. it's a 1000 years and an entire continent, an

Jun 8, 2024 • 52:15

99. Juliane de Fontevrault Tries to Kill Her Father (Henry I) With a Crossbow, Normandy 1110

99. Juliane de Fontevrault Tries to Kill Her Father (Henry I) With a Crossbow, Normandy 1110

It was unusual for medieval women to kill their fathers, and especially unusual for them to use crossbows to do it. Juliane de Fontrevault tried both, but she missed King Henry I, who was at the time besieging her castle in Normandy. There had been an altercation, you see, which led to a major hostage failure, wherein Juliane's husband Eustace blinded the young hostage sent to Henry, and Henry blinded and cut the noses off the two girls sent to him as hostages. Who were his grandchildren, b

May 19, 2024 • 42:13

98. April Fool's Episode: Debunking the Chastity Belt

98. April Fool's Episode: Debunking the Chastity Belt

There were not, in the Middle Ages, any chastity belts. They did not exist. Really, they didn't. They show up later, when enlighted ages say that they were used in the Middle Ages. Then, enlightened ages invented them, and now you can buy them on Amazon. Michelle explains how we know they didn't exist, and how they got invented, and why the later ages that invented them said the Middle Ages did it. Anne, on the other hand, had a lot of fun researching the state of chastity belts now. O

Apr 4, 2024 • 1:10:09

97. Galeazzo Maria Sforza, the Duke of Milan, is Assassinated, Milan, Duchy of Milan 1476

97. Galeazzo Maria Sforza, the Duke of Milan, is Assassinated, Milan, Duchy of Milan 1476

Sometimes when our medieval rulers get assassinated we can see why, and that's the case for Galeazzo Maria Sforza, who was a very bad sort of person. So, not surprisingly, he got stabbed to death by conspirators. Two of them were out for personal gain, but one was a poet who was, he believed, serving the greater communal good, which charms Anne. We tell you all about Sforza and the assassination, which is, really, the point  of this episode, but the gem of information for Michelle was that

Mar 31, 2024 • 33:03

96. Leszek the White, High Duke of Poland, is Assassinated, Morcinkowo, Poland 1227

96. Leszek the White, High Duke of Poland, is Assassinated, Morcinkowo, Poland 1227

During the Fragmentation of Poland, which lasted from 1138 to 1320, Leszek Bialy -- Leszek the White -- managed to reign as the High Duke of Poland four times, the last reign going on for 16 years before it ended, on account of his having been assassinated. That's a long reign, during the age of fragmentation, when the realm was, well, fragmented, and the position of High Duke got passed around pretty often.  Leszek was attending a conference of several dukes when he was attacked in his bat

Mar 29, 2024 • 59:30

95. Henry d'Almain is Murdered, Viterbo, Italy 1271

95. Henry d'Almain is Murdered, Viterbo, Italy 1271

Henry d'Almain didn't really want to fight in the Second Barons' War,  because the leaders of the two sides were both his uncles, and when his uncle Simon de Montfort was killed and mutilated in the last battle, he wasn't part of that, so it was really unseemly for his cousins, the sons of Simon de Montfort, to find him in a church in Italy and slaughter him while he was clinging to the altar. As vengeance goes, it was a really stupid vengeance that didn't settle anythin

Mar 23, 2024 • 40:52

94. Maddelena, a Circassian, is Bought in Crimea and Sold in Italy, Venice, Italy c. 1428

94. Maddelena, a Circassian, is Bought in Crimea and Sold in Italy, Venice, Italy c. 1428

We thought it would be interesting to talk about the Crimean Slave Trade, but we had not known that would, essentially, cover all of written history and all of the Old World. But it was on the schedule, and we found it interesting. So! We'll start with the mother of Carlo de Medici, Maddelena, who was captured in or sold from Circassia (it's over on the northeast shore of the Black Sea), and then sold in Crimea to a Venetian who took her to Venice and sold her to Cosimo de Medici, who

Mar 13, 2024 • 41:38

93. Michael Servetus is Murdered, Geneva, Republic of Geneva 1553

93. Michael Servetus is Murdered, Geneva, Republic of Geneva 1553

Michael Servetus was one of those brilliant people who can be a bit annoying. He read and/or spoke Spanish and French and Hebrew and Latin and Arabic and Greek and who knows what all. He studied and/or wrote books on theology, medicine, mathematics, law, and some other stuff. He wrote poetry. He had a bunch of degrees. But he had to leave the Studium of Zaragoza because of a fight with the High Master; he nearly got the death penalty in Paris for translating Cicero's De Divinatione (but the

Feb 28, 2024 • 51:35

92. Special Episode: The New Guys Celebrate Christmas, Plymouth (Massachusetts), December 25, 1621

92. Special Episode: The New Guys Celebrate Christmas, Plymouth (Massachusetts), December 25, 1621

On the second Christmas that the Pilgrims spent in Plymouth (the first had been spent cutting down trees and building houses), the governor of the colony, William Bradford, gathered the men together so that they could all go do the Lord's work (which was probably cutting down trees and building houses). Some of the colonists were newly arrived, and hadn't come for religious reasons, but more for finding wealth and opportunity in the New World. This portion of the men did not think that

Dec 25, 2023 • 48:16

91. Lambert Simnel and Perkin Warbeck Pretend to be Kings, England 1487 and 1491

91. Lambert Simnel and Perkin Warbeck Pretend to be Kings, England 1487 and 1491

So, there were those two boys in the Tower of London, Edward V,  King of England, who was 12, and Richard of Shrewsbury, Duke of York, who was 9, and they disappeared one summer after their uncle Richard declared them illegitimate and became King Richard III.  And it was a total mystery as to what happened to them, and still is, and Richard III was not king for very long before Henry Tudor, who was on one side descended from Tudur ap Gronwy Fychan, which made the English no never mind, but on th

Dec 22, 2023 • 1:00:55

90. The Jacquerie Smashes Property, France 1358

90. The Jacquerie Smashes Property, France 1358

In the summer of 1358, French peasants took up arms -- this means mostly sticks -- and attacked the nobility. They did indeed murder some of them, but mostly, almost entirely, the burnt down property. They didn't even loot. They just destroyed stuff. The nobility had gotten problematic, certainly, what with running away from important battles and then trying to squeeze more out of the peasantry so they could pay for further military adventures, though apparently not any  training. So the pe

Dec 13, 2023 • 48:55

89. Vasvilkas, Grand Duke of Lithuania, is Assassinated, Volodymyr, Ukraine 1267

89. Vasvilkas, Grand Duke of Lithuania, is Assassinated, Volodymyr, Ukraine 1267

Vasvilkas, the Grand Duke of Lithuania, got assassinated for a reason that Michelle considers the stupidest assassination reason the podcast has seen so far, that being that when Vasvilkas, the Monk Prince, decided to give up the throne so he could go back to being a monk, he gave it to a brother in law, and another brother in law thought that Vasvilkas should have made him a co-ruler, so he murdered Vasvilkas. As MIchelle points out, he still didn't get to be co-ruler. So she went off to r

Dec 2, 2023 • 35:56

88. St. Scholastica Riot, Oxford England, February 10, 1355

88. St. Scholastica Riot, Oxford England, February 10, 1355

Sometimes students riot, maybe because of tuition hikes, or because a coach got fired for a sex abuse scandal, or because their team won a game, or because their team lost a game, or because the university became integrated, or because the government is moving into authoritarianism, or because the government already was authoritarian but is getting worse, and sometimes because the pub gave them bad wine. In the last case, around 100 people might just end up dead. Welcome to Oxford, 14th Century!

Nov 23, 2023 • 42:42

87. King Philip Augustus Fakes a Genealogy, Paris, France 1194

87. King Philip Augustus Fakes a Genealogy, Paris, France 1194

Philip, the King of France, married Ingeborg of Denmark, and it would have been a really great political alliance, except that after the wedding night Philip wanted out.  So he asked the pope to annul the marriage, saying that it hadn't been consummated, on account of witchcraft, and he sent Ingeborg to a convent. But Ingeborg said the marriage HAD been consummated, and the pope wouldn't annul the marriage, so Philip had a genealogy made up showing that his marriage to Ingeborg violate

Oct 12, 2023 • 43:41

86. Henry VI, Holy Roman Emperor, Does Various Bad Things, Germany, Italy, and Sicily, 1169-1197

86. Henry VI, Holy Roman Emperor, Does Various Bad Things, Germany, Italy, and Sicily, 1169-1197

Sandwiched between two legendary Holy Roman Emperors -- his father, Frederick Barbarossa, and his son, Frederick II -- Henry VI, who was not legendary, and who died at the age of 31 (his dad died at 67 and his son at 55; lots more time to rack up legendary activities), nevertheless managed to acquire a nickname  -- "The Cruel" -- in large part because of his belief in the efficacy of torturing political opponents in public. Besides discussing Henry VI, Holy Roman Emperor, Anne explains

Oct 5, 2023 • 55:30

85. Eorpwald of East Anglia is Murdered, East Anglia c. 627

85. Eorpwald of East Anglia is Murdered, East Anglia c. 627

Eorpwald, the ruler of East Anglia c 624, after his father died,  converted to Christianity because Edwin, the Deorian king, converted to Christianity, and managed to connect pretty  much the entire eastern coastal kingdoms of England.  So that lasted a few years, but then he got assassinated, on account of having converted to Christianity, and East Anglia became pagan again for a while. Eorpwald, the first ruler in England to be killed for being Christian, was therefore a martyr, and a saint. H

Sep 8, 2023 • 1:12:19

84. Melisende, Frankish Queen of Jerusalem, is Falsely Accused of Adultery, Jerusalem 1134

84. Melisende, Frankish Queen of Jerusalem, is Falsely Accused of Adultery, Jerusalem 1134

In 1134, Melisende, the Queen of Jerusalem, who had, as a child, been raised to be the Queen  of Jerusalem all by herself, was sharing the throne with Fulk, her husband, who did not like sharing.  So he tried to get rid of her, by accusing her of adultery with her cousin Hugh of Jaffa, which was not a thing that was actually happening. And when Hugh fled (on account of not wanting to be in a duel with a guy bigger than The Mountain in Game of Thrones), Fulk sent somebody to assassinate him, The

Sep 2, 2023 • 48:36

83. Hugh de Lacy is Assassinated, Durrow, Ireland 1186

83. Hugh de Lacy is Assassinated, Durrow, Ireland 1186

Hugh de Lacy, one of the Anglo-Normans who was sent to bring order to Ireland (where the Anglo-Normans were having  a lot of trouble), was inspecting the military installation he was having built at Durrow (where St. Columba had previously built a monastery), when he was murdered by one of the Irish who wanted him dead, by being hit on the head with an ax. So there you are. There is your crime. We discuss this, yes we do, but really we are discussing Hugh de Lacy because he built Trim Castle, an

Aug 21, 2023 • 44:16

82. Arthur of Brittany Disappears, Rouen, France c. 1203

82. Arthur of Brittany Disappears, Rouen, France c. 1203

In 1199, when Richard the Lionheart died, there were two possible claimants to the throne of England -- his younger brother John, and his nephew Arthur. John was a bit over 30 years old; Arthur was about 12. John, the youngest surviving son of Henry II, was by Norman law the rightful heir. Arthur, the eldest son of Geoffrey, John's older brother, was by the laws of Brittany, the rightful heir. Also, John was in England and Arthur was in Brittany. Also, John was the person who was, well, Joh

Aug 1, 2023 • 43:14

81. Johannes Ryneken is Executed for Adulterating Saffron, Nuremberg Germany, 1444

81. Johannes Ryneken is Executed for Adulterating Saffron, Nuremberg Germany, 1444

By the 15th century, Nuremberg was making a reputation and a lot of money out of being the main saffron import location in Europe. So the town burgesses took it very seriously when spice merchants sold saffron that wasn't fully saffron, but had various other things added to it. Very seriously indeed. So seriously that it was possible to be, as Johnanes Ryneken was, in 1444, executed for being a very bad spice merchant indeed. Anne especially enjoyed this episode, because she got to talk ALL

Jul 18, 2023 • 42:05

80. William de Marisco is Executed for Treason, London England 1242

80. William de Marisco is Executed for Treason, London England 1242

The de Mariscos were a family that continually got into trouble, on account of continually misbehaving. When William de Marisco was executed at the Tower of London in 1242, it was ostensibly for attempting to have the king murdered, but since he'd also been pirating from the Isle of Lundy, and murdering messengers, he was going to end up being executed at some point anyway. Besides explaining the de Mariscos, we have two rabbit holes! Anne is fascinated by the Isle of Lundy, and Michelle is

Jun 13, 2023 • 42:13

79. Snorri Sturluson Is Assassinated, Reykholt, Iceland 1241

79. Snorri Sturluson Is Assassinated, Reykholt, Iceland 1241

Snorri Sturluson, the great Icelandic poet and historian and lawspeaker of the Althing, got involved in Norwegian/Icelandic politics, and it ended very badly. For him, for one thing, as the king of Norway arranged for 70 men to stab Snorri in his basement, and for Iceland, which devolved into chieftain battles and eventually unified with Norway and the Norwegian king became the boss of everything. The Althing still exists, though, and Iceland is independent now, and Snorri is one of the most inf

May 9, 2023 • 1:01:21

78. Special Episode: April Fool's Debunking of the Myth of the Medieval Shame Flute

78. Special Episode: April Fool's Debunking of the Myth of the Medieval Shame Flute

If you go and peruse the internet, you will discover many discussions of the medieval shame flute, an instrument created specifically to be fastened to a bad musician, in order to shame him. There are pictures. There is a lot of certainty about this. Alas, it wasn't there. Michelle went to find them, and, though there are a couple of torture museums which have examples, those are not medieval examples. In fact, do we think that there were ever any shame flutes, even after the middle ages? W

Apr 13, 2023 • 41:33

77. Diarmait Mac Murchada Invites the Anglo-Normans into Ireland, Leinster, Ireland 1167

77. Diarmait Mac Murchada Invites the Anglo-Normans into Ireland, Leinster, Ireland 1167

At the end of the 12th century, the kings of Ireland had been fighting amongst themselves, and the high king got involved, and what with one thing and another Diarmait Mac Murchada, who had been the king of Leinster, and then had been ousted, and then had gotten in again, got ousted again, and then had the very bad idea of getting help from the Anglo-Normans. And they did help, didn't they, and then they took Ireland over.  This could have been foreseen by anybody who had been paying attent

Apr 3, 2023 • 58:36

76. Special Episode: Richard Walweyn Wears Padded Pants, London, England 1565

76. Special Episode: Richard Walweyn Wears Padded Pants, London, England 1565

One day in London in 1565, Richard Walweyn was arrested for wearing the wrong pants, and put in jail until he could prove he owned some proper ones. And why were these the wrong pants? Cause they were puffed out, and he was a servant. Makes no sense, right? Nah. But in times of unease, people like to try to get everybody to wear the right clothes, eat the right things, buy the right stuff. Whatever those things are that year. We discuss sumptuary laws over time, we discuss the hell which would b

Mar 12, 2023 • 45:16

75. Crime Rise in the Great Famine, Europe 1315-1322

75. Crime Rise in the Great Famine, Europe 1315-1322

In 1315, the crops throughout Europe failed. And then they failed the year after that. And then the year after that. It was raining.  And it rained and rained and rained. After that , it rained some more. One of the greatest natural disasters of the middle ages was the Great Famine, in which so many people of Europe died that the population didn't reach the level it had been before the rain started until the 19th century. Naturally, the crime rate rose. That's a fact. However, the cann

Feb 28, 2023 • 1:41:39

74. Dafydd Gam ap Llewelyn ap Hywel kills his kinsman Richard Fawr ap Dafydd, Brecon High Street, Wales late 14th Century

74. Dafydd Gam ap Llewelyn ap Hywel kills his kinsman Richard Fawr ap Dafydd, Brecon High Street, Wales late 14th Century

Before Davy Gam got famous amongst the English for helping out at Agincourt and getting knighted, and being in general an acceptable Welshman on account of helping out the English and fighting Welshmen, he had killed a kinsman in Brecon, had fought under John of Gaunt, and had fought against Owain Glyndŵr, the leader of the last great Welsh rebellion and the last Welsh Prince of Wales. As you can imagine, a Welshman famous amongst the English for bravely serving them and fighting at Agincourt is

Feb 11, 2023 • 45:10

73. Special Holiday Edition: The Cursed Carolers, Saxony 10th Century

73. Special Holiday Edition: The Cursed Carolers, Saxony 10th Century

Once upon a time, a group of parishioners in a village in Saxony danced in the churchyard during Christmas Mass, and so the priest cursed them and then they danced without ceasing for a year. This story was told, with variations, throughout Europe, from the 10th century (at least) through the 16th century. And! It really happened! Ok, not the dancing without ceasing for a year part, but the dancing without being able to stop? That really happened. From the 14th through the 17th century, groups o

Dec 20, 2022 • 48:48

72. The Jews of York are Massacred, York, England 1190

72. The Jews of York are Massacred, York, England 1190

A wave of anti-Semitism and atrocities against the Jews swept England starting in 1189, when Richard Lionheart was crowned, and mobs in London attacked the Jews in that city. The worst of the atrocities happened in York, when the local mobs burnt and pillaged Jewish homes; when the Jews retreated to the castle keep (they were, theoretically and legally, under the protection of the king), the York mob besieged the wooden keep with  stones, and murdered some of the Jews, having lured them out of t

Dec 13, 2022 • 37:12

71.Special Episode: Guy Fawkes Attempts to Blow Up King James and Parliament, London, England November 5, 1605

71.Special Episode: Guy Fawkes Attempts to Blow Up King James and Parliament, London, England November 5, 1605

Special Episode! It's the third birthday of True Crime Medieval, but, more importantly really, it's the 417th anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot not actually coming off; if it had, not only King James and all of Parliament would have been destroyed, but also several blocks around, including Westminster Abbey.  We discuss the Plot, why it didn't work, what's been going on with November 5th celebrations since then, and, because Michelle finds this stuff, Edgar Allan Poe and his

Nov 3, 2022 • 52:56

70.King Alboin is Murdered, Verona, Italy 572

70.King Alboin is Murdered, Verona, Italy 572

King Alboin was a very successful king of the Lombards, and conquered the Gepids, and took Rosamund, the daughter of the king of the Gepids, as his wife, and everything was great, but then Rosamund murdered him, with the help of her lover. She was probably not very happy about the marriage, since she was still mourning the deaths of her father and her grandfather and her brother, so probably being married to the guy that killed them wasn't fun. The story got embellished pretty quickly; Albo

Nov 1, 2022 • 43:28

69. King Olaf Kills Klerkon in the Market Place, Novgorod, Russia 10th Century.

69. King Olaf Kills Klerkon in the Market Place, Novgorod, Russia 10th Century.

Blanca, the rescue Goffin's Cockatoo, is a guest cohost on this episode, about that time that Olaf, before he was king of anything, whacked Klerkon, the viking who had enslaved him when he was a toddler. We discuss the Kyivan Rus, Novgorod, Vikings, blood money, the sagas, and, to Anne's surprise, Longfellow.  Blanca the Cockatoo has a lot to say. We don't know why. Also we don't know what she was saying.

Oct 26, 2022 • 57:00

Llewelyn the Great Hangs William de Braose, Aber Garth Celyn , Wales May 2, 1230

Llewelyn the Great Hangs William de Braose, Aber Garth Celyn , Wales May 2, 1230

So, one day in 1230, William de Braose was over at Llewelyn the Great's castle, and he was found in Llewelyn's private chambers with Joan, who was Llewelyn's wife. As well as the daughter of the King of England. Now, according to Welsh law, Llewelyn would then have been in his rights to beat William up, but instead, there was a trial, and William ended up being hung from some tree or other; two are in the running for being The Tree, but who knows. At any rate, messing around with

Oct 17, 2022 • 50:06

67. Peter von Hagenbach is Convicted of War Crimes, Breisach, Germany 1474

67. Peter von Hagenbach is Convicted of War Crimes, Breisach, Germany 1474

Laws regulating war crimes have existed since ancient times, and trials of people who have committed them have existed as well; the trial of Peter von Hagenbach wasn't unusual for being a trial to judge whether he has violated laws of war when he was holding down Breisach for Charles the Bold; it was unusual because it was an international trial, and because part of the judgement included the decree that if soldiers are given orders they know to be wrong, they are culpable if they follow th

Sep 27, 2022 • 41:56

66. Henry of Trastámara Massacres the Jews of Toledo, Toledo Spain, 1355

66. Henry of Trastámara Massacres the Jews of Toledo, Toledo Spain, 1355

Henry of Trastámara, of Henry of Castile, the Fratricidal, was not as friendly with the Jews of Spain as his half-brother, Pedro the Cruel, or Pedro the Just (depending on your interpretation of him) had been. He's "The Fratricidal," by the way, because he murdered his half-brother Pedro the Cruel or Just.  Henry wasn't yet king in 1355 -- that is, he hadn't murdered his half-brother yet -- but was at war with him, and wherever Henry took some power, Jews were murdered.

Sep 19, 2022 • 42:11

65. King Lambert is Assassinated (or not), Marengo, Italy 898

65. King Lambert is Assassinated (or not), Marengo, Italy 898

After a short (he was 18) but eventful and busy life, Lambert, King of Italy and Holy Roman Emperor, was assassinated during a boar hunt. That's one rumor. The other rumor is that he fell off his horse and died. Evidence? Witnesses? Nah, not really. But we both have an opinion on this, which is that a story that has a king sleeping on the ground during a boar hunt is fundamentally flawed, and we don't buy it.  On the other hand, Michelle found two translations of the chronicle which te

Aug 9, 2022 • 46:05

64. Jeanne de Clisson takes up piracy, Brittany 1343

64. Jeanne de Clisson takes up piracy, Brittany 1343

In 1343, Olivier de Clisson, who had backed the wrong candidate for the then empty Duke of Brittany position, as far as the king of France was concerned, was invited to a tournament, and then seized and executed for treason without a trial.  This greatly angered his wife, Jeanne, so she gathered a troupe of men and harassed the French, becoming quite beloved by the English, who were fighting France, in the beginning of the Hundred Years War. She also became a pirate, more or less. At least, she

Jul 13, 2022 • 38:00

63. The Children of Hamelin Disappear, Hamelin, Lower Saxony, 1284

63. The Children of Hamelin Disappear, Hamelin, Lower Saxony, 1284

In 1284, the children of Hamelin disappeared. Unless you translate the Latin differently, and they all died. Over the centuries, the story of what happened to them would get more and more intricate. Was there a Pied Piper involved? Probably not, though there may have been a musician. Were there rats? Nah. They don't show up in the stories for a few hundred years. But something happened, as the Hamelin chronicles tell us. What the hell it was we don't know. We explain the possible fates

Jul 5, 2022 • 33:58

62. Leopold of Austria Kidnaps Richard the Lionheart, Near Vienna, Austria 1192

62. Leopold of Austria Kidnaps Richard the Lionheart, Near Vienna, Austria 1192

Capturing an enemy and holding them for ransom, in the middle ages, wasn't necessarily a crime. However, kidnapping a fellow crusader was not ok, since the pope has said that all the crusaders were supposed to treat each other well (by not capturing their lands and goods while they were off fighting, or kidnapping them and holding them for ransom), and also, there's a difference between holding a fellow noble for ransom and kidnapping the king of England. To be truthful, as far as medi

Jun 20, 2022 • 59:06

61. King John Starves Maud and William de Braose to Death, Corfe Castle, Dorset, England 1210

61. King John Starves Maud and William de Braose to Death, Corfe Castle, Dorset, England 1210

In 1210, King John of England left Maud de Braose and her son William in Corfe Castle and let them starve to death, either because Maud had been shirty with one of his messengers, or because John owed William money and didn't want to pay it back, or because, well, who knows.  John was like that.  Maud, on the other hand, had, before getting thrown into the dungeon at Corfe Castle, had impressed the Welsh by defending a castle against them, and, apparently, or at least the Welsh said so, mag

May 23, 2022 • 1:00:06

60. Jacques le Gris Rapes Marguerite de Carrouges, Normandy, January 1386

60. Jacques le Gris Rapes Marguerite de Carrouges, Normandy, January 1386

In 1386, Marguerite de Carrouges accused Jacques le Gris of having raped her, and though the French Parliament could not come to an agreement as to whether or not le Gris was guilty, we know that he was, because Marguerite's husband Jean killed le Gris in a trial by combat, so that's settled. Although le Gris' descendants would keep trying to convince everybody that actually somebody else raped her.  The evidence for this was either nonexistent or unconvincing. The case is current

Apr 15, 2022 • 54:49

59. Bran Ardchenn, King of Leinster, and his wife Eithne are Assassinated, Cell Cúile Duma, Ireland May 6, 795

59. Bran Ardchenn, King of Leinster, and his wife Eithne are Assassinated, Cell Cúile Duma, Ireland May 6, 795

The Irish Annals are full -- full, we tell you -- of detailed histories of the kings of Ireland.  Only mostly the details are their names, how long they ruled, and how they died. Though Bran Ardchenn and Eithne were burned to death in a church, we don't know more than that. In this episode, we discuss early Irish history, the Book of Leinster, and Anne's annoyance at not knowing exactly how Bran and Eithne died. Because "burned to death" doesn't really explain much.

Apr 8, 2022 • 49:12

58. The Pazzi Conspiracy, Florence, Italy, Easter 1478

58. The Pazzi Conspiracy, Florence, Italy, Easter 1478

In 1478, in Florence, the banking family of the Medici was very powerful. Very powerful indeed. But another banking family, the Pazzi, were not happy with this.  No, no! They wanted to be more powerful in Florence than the Medici were! So they created A Plan. Well, a few plans, really, but finally  one of the plans was carried out, which was to kill two of the Medici at High Mass in the Cathedral, after which the citizens of Florence were going to say, yay! hoorah! Now the Pazzi will be our lead

Mar 7, 2022 • 43:51

57. Stephen of Blois Breaks His Oath, London England, December 1135

57. Stephen of Blois Breaks His Oath, London England, December 1135

In 1127, Stephen of Blois swore an oath that when Henry I, King of England, died, Stephen would support Henry's daughter (and Stephen's cousin), Empress Maud, as queen ruler of England.  But in 1135, when Henry died, Stephen hightailed it to London and grabbed the throne. In this episode, we discuss the civil war that followed, and several interesting bits of it -- Empress Maud escapes from Oxford by walking over the iced river in a blizzard; Queen Matilda, Stephen's wife, manages

Jan 27, 2022 • 1:04:48

56. Special Episode: Darnley Murders Rizzio, Edinburgh, Scotland 1566

56. Special Episode: Darnley Murders Rizzio, Edinburgh, Scotland 1566

One evening in March of 1566, Mary, Queen of Scots, was sitting with one of her half-sisters and her secretary David Rizzio, eating supper. Suddenly, the door slammed open; Henry Stuart, Lord Darnley, and his cohorts burst in, stabbed Rizzio, and pointed a gun at the Queen.  Who was 6 months pregnant at the time, with the future James I/IV. Then the band of conspirators took Rizzio out, stabbed him 56 times, and threw him down the stairs. We'll give you all the background to this, and also

Jan 6, 2022 • 54:28

55. Winter Shenanigans (Lords of Misrule), Europe 500-1600

55. Winter Shenanigans (Lords of Misrule), Europe 500-1600

It's important, in the middle of the winter, to take part in raucous activities, and there were lots in medieval Europe. Boys being bishops, men and women switching clothes, parishioners gambling in the churches, and, unsurprisingly, most everybody drinking.  Lots. Besides giving you the history, Anne explains a Christmas Celebration Gone Terribly Wrong, and Michelle tells you about that time that the Tudors used the Christmas celebrations as a prelude to an execution. Tacky.

Jan 3, 2022 • 54:48

54. Fulbert's Henchmen Attack Peter Abelard, Paris, France 1117

54. Fulbert's Henchmen Attack Peter Abelard, Paris, France 1117

One night, in Paris, thugs broke into the room of Peter Abelard, renowned theologian and philosopher, and beloved teacher, and castrated him.  Because Fulbert, the uncle of Heloise, was REALLY annoyed that Abelard and Heloise were keeping their marriage secret.  Which they had entered into so that Fulbert wouldn't be so upset about the affair that they had been having.  Also their son, Astrolabe, or, as Anne likes to think of him, Global Positioning System. Fulbert just had no moderation. A

Dec 29, 2021 • 1:01:32

53. St. Brice's Day Massacre, England November 13, 1002

53. St. Brice's Day Massacre, England November 13, 1002

King  Æthelred of England really did not have the wherewithal to successfully deal with the Danish/English tension that he had inherited with the throne, which had been caused by Viking raids for about 100 years,  notably established by what the English called The Great Heathen Army, which took over much of England.  Oh, too bad. One solution, he thought, was to kill off all the Danes in England.  This did not work. For one thing, the Danes did not in fact get killed off, though the English did

Dec 8, 2021 • 44:38

53. St. Brice's Day Massacre, England November 13, 1002

53. St. Brice's Day Massacre, England November 13, 1002

King  Æthelred of England really did not have the wherewithal to successfully deal with the Danish/English tension that he had inherited with the throne, which had been caused by Viking raids for about 100 years,  notably established by what the English called The Great Heathen Army, which took over much of England.  Oh, too bad. One solution, he thought, was to kill off all the Danes in England.  This did not work. For one thing, the Danes did not in fact get killed off, though the English did

Dec 1, 2021 • 46:28

52. Special Episode: Elizabeth Bathory Commits Serial Murder,  Castle of Csejte, Hungary 1590-1610

52. Special Episode: Elizabeth Bathory Commits Serial Murder, Castle of Csejte, Hungary 1590-1610

(Special Episode -- Post-Medieval!) Between 1590 and 1610 (probably), Elizabeth Bathory tortured and killed girls and women (probably).  When all of that got stopped, she was arrested -- but never accused -- and four of her servants were arrested, tortured, and put on trial.  Three of them were executed, and the last imprisoned for life. Elizabeth was put under house arrest. She was never accused, she never went to trial, and she died of natural causes. What. The. Hell. We discuss the scanty evi

Nov 20, 2021 • 41:39

51. Pope Stephen VI is Murdered, Rome, Italy 897

51. Pope Stephen VI is Murdered, Rome, Italy 897

In 897, in Rome, Pope Stephen VI was strangled, in prison.  There. That's the True Crime. We don't know who did it -- a representative of the people of Rome, we suppose. The interesting part of this crime is not that he got murdered, but why he got murdered. Which was that he had dug up the  7 months dead corpse of a predecessor and put it on trial. In fancy papal garb. With a deacon giving answers to questions, since the dead pope on trial couldn't do it. We bring you The Cadaver

Oct 28, 2021 • 38:19

50.  Charlemagne Massacres the Saxons, Verden, Lower Saxony 782

50. Charlemagne Massacres the Saxons, Verden, Lower Saxony 782

One day, after the Saxons won one of the many battles in the Saxon Wars, Charlemagne, who was pretty annoyed, ordered the mass execution of 4,500 warriors.  This didn't really tarnish his golden reputation until the 18th century, when it began to bother people.  We discuss the Saxons, Charlemagne's reputation, the trouble that the Nazis had in figuring out how to talk about him, and, oddly enough, Christopher Lee and his heavy metal Charlemagne albums.

Oct 14, 2021 • 46:24

49.Edward I Steals the Stone of Scone, Scone, Scotland 1296

49.Edward I Steals the Stone of Scone, Scone, Scotland 1296

Edward I invaded Scotland in 1296, on account of (he said) their broken feudal obligations. Amongst the usual spoils of war -- prisoners, horses, weapons, nice gold stuff -- he took a rock. Weighing about 335 pounds. We discuss the theft of the Stone of Destiny, and its subsequent history.  Including, to our delight, a 20th century liberation of the Stone, wherein four university students break into Westminster Abbey and take the stone back to Scotland. Then it went back to England.  Now it&apos

Sep 29, 2021 • 50:16

48. Viking Child Murdered, Dublin, Ireland 9th-10th C.

48. Viking Child Murdered, Dublin, Ireland 9th-10th C.

As a true crime subject, our Viking child is problematic: who is he? We don't know. How did he die? We don't know. Why did he get thrown in the tidal pool that's now the back gardens of Dublin Castle? We don't know. When did this happen? We don't know. But we know something bad happened. And Michelle gets to talk about archeology and awesome civil disobedience in the service of history.

Aug 27, 2021 • 43:55

St. Olga Massacres the Drevlians, Ukraine, 945

St. Olga Massacres the Drevlians, Ukraine, 945

The Primary Russian Chronicle tells us much about the revenge that Olga of of the Kievan Rus took on the Drevlians after they killed her husband. And most of it is surely mythological. Entire boatloads of ambassadors being dropped into a trench, dug overnight in the royal hall?  Two groups of ambassadors slaughtered, without the Drevlians getting suspicious?  Flocks of bird set on fire, and then burning a town down? No, no, and no.  However, Anne stands firm on the blood feast, and Michelle stan

Aug 11, 2021 • 52:28

In Which We Explain a Brief Hiatus

In Which We Explain a Brief Hiatus

We interrupt our regular programming to explain that COVID hijacked our schedule. Don't worry, all is well; it's just busy around here. We will be back in two weeks for our usual discussion of the bad behaviour of long dead people. Stay safe!

Jul 28, 2021 • 2:45

46. Battle Abbey Forges Charters, Sussex, England mid 12th Century

46. Battle Abbey Forges Charters, Sussex, England mid 12th Century

After the Normans conquered England, the pope sanctioned them, on account of how much slaughtering had gone on.  So, being sanctioned, they were very sorry. Which is why William the Conqueror founded Battle Abbey, where the Battle of Hastings was. And when he did that, he gave the monks some special rights (mostly having to do with not being required to listen to the bishop), but they didn't get written down, because nobody needed to; the king, after all, had said so.  But time moved on, an

Jul 14, 2021 • 55:09

45. The Sack of Constantinople, April 8-13, 1204

45. The Sack of Constantinople, April 8-13, 1204

From the middle of the 5th century until 1204, Constantinople was the largest, the wealthiest, the most sophisticated, the most important city in Europe. Then the 4th Crusade, which had intended to go retake Jerusalem, went to the center of Eastern Christianity and besieged it, sacked it, crippled it, and destroyed -- for at least 800 years -- the relations between the Roman Christians and the Byzantine Christians.  None of this makes any sense, except that money was involved and people behaved

Jun 30, 2021 • 51:35

44. King James Murders the Earl of Douglas, Stirling Castle, Scotland 1452

44. King James Murders the Earl of Douglas, Stirling Castle, Scotland 1452

If you are an Earl, and you are sent a safe conduct pass to go talk to the King, you're safe, right?  You can go meet them, and calmly discuss that alliance you made with a couple of other noblemen, one that is not in favor of the king and his kingly position. Calmly, yes, and then you can go home.  Unless it's 1452, and you're in Scotland, and you're one of the Douglases, and the king is known for having a very bad temper.  In which case you might get stabbed 26 times and th

Jun 16, 2021 • 52:33

43. St. Columba Violates Nonexistent Copyright Laws and Starts a War, Movilla Abbey, Ireland 560

43. St. Columba Violates Nonexistent Copyright Laws and Starts a War, Movilla Abbey, Ireland 560

It's very rude to copy books secretly whilst staying with one of your old teachers, even if you are very careful not to harm the books, and don't use cheese sandwiches as bookmarks. That's what we learn from this episode. Also that the ancient kings of Ireland liked to use cattle as examples of just about everything.  And that the O'Neills were willing to go to war with the High King over a book. Michelle and Anne discuss the meaning of copyright law, which really has nothing

Jun 2, 2021 • 52:34

42. Special Episode: Christopher Marlowe is Assassinated, Deptford, England, 1593

42. Special Episode: Christopher Marlowe is Assassinated, Deptford, England, 1593

At the end of May 1593, the most important and influential playwright in England died at the age of 29. Rumor and gossip and a great many history books and literature collections would say, over the centuries, that he died in a tavern brawl.  To be fair, his earlier history with drunken brawl involvement makes this plausible. But the evidence -- or rather, the lack of evidence -- given at the inquest makes it clear that he was being got rid of.  Oh, besides being a writer, he was involved in Wal

May 19, 2021 • 1:04:08

41. The Assassination of Queen Joanna of Naples, Muro Lucano, Italy 1382

41. The Assassination of Queen Joanna of Naples, Muro Lucano, Italy 1382

Joanna of Naples had a hell of a life.  There were unhappy marriages, there were murders, there were invasions, there was the Black Death, there was the Papal Schism, and there was a tangled ball of plots and tussles over the inheritance of the Neapolitan throne.  At the end of it all, she was murdered and thrown into a well.  And then she enjoyed hundreds of years of a Very Bad Reputation.  But recently, scholarship has turned the tide! She was an excellent leader, who was beleaguered by a whol

May 5, 2021 • 58:54

40. University of Paris Strike, Paris 1229

40. University of Paris Strike, Paris 1229

First some undergraduates got drunk over in a tavern, and then they didn't pay, and so the townspeople beat them up.  That was Shrove Tuesday.  Fair enough.  On Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, when they were supposed to be repenting and thinking about their sinful lives, the students got some buddies together and went and trashed the pub, beat up the taverner, and looted and trashed the nearby businesses. But the townspeople couldn't do anything about it, cause the local law coul

Apr 21, 2021 • 58:06

39. April Fool's Episode: Ferdinand II of Aragon Abolishes the Droit de Seigneur, Spain 1486

39. April Fool's Episode: Ferdinand II of Aragon Abolishes the Droit de Seigneur, Spain 1486

Everybody knows that the Droit de Seigneur (the right of a feudal lord to sleep with a bride on her wedding night) existed.  Except it didn't.  Why, then, did Ferdinand II of Aragon abolish it in 1486?  Why indeed. We discuss this. Also we discuss the history of the first night myth. And Michelle explains why you should buy books when you see them, instead of waiting till later.

Apr 7, 2021 • 1:01:52

The Death of William Rufus, New Forest, England, August 2, 1100

The Death of William Rufus, New Forest, England, August 2, 1100

One day the King of England went out hunting, and did not come back, on account of having been shot by one of his hunting companions. Henry, his younger brother, became King in just a few days, and there was no inquest. Nobody at the time thought anything of this, really, because dying whilst hunting in the New Forest was pretty common, but later, lots of people Got Suspicious. We discuss this.  Also the fact that the Face of Lucca doesn't really have anything to do with the Face of Bo.

Mar 24, 2021 • 1:03:18

37. St. Patrick Gets Kidnapped, Roman Britain, late 5th C.

37. St. Patrick Gets Kidnapped, Roman Britain, late 5th C.

In honor of St. Patrick's day, we have no snakes, no druids. We talk about Irish pirates capturing young Patricius, which was a crime,  and then St. Patrick being all remorseful about something which was some sort of crime but nobody knows what it was, and then, having done all that, we talk a whole lot about St. Patrick movies, including a silent film from 1920 with which we are totally impressed, and another from 2000, which involves David Tennant and has us bemused. Also there is informa

Mar 10, 2021 • 50:50

36. The Piratical Victual Brothers, North and Baltic Seas, 1393-1440

36. The Piratical Victual Brothers, North and Baltic Seas, 1393-1440

After being hired to help run victuals into Stockholm through Queen Margaret of Denmark's blockade, the Victual Brothers turned to piracy, decimating the herring trade and annoying the Hanseatic League.  Anne explains all that stuff, and Michelle waxes poetic about the medieval cog, which was apparently an awesome sort of ship. And as a special treat, we append the recording we made wherein we figured out why our sound issues hadn't been solved.

Feb 24, 2021 • 50:45

35. Mabel de Bellême is Murdered, Bures, Normandy 1079

35. Mabel de Bellême is Murdered, Bures, Normandy 1079

Mabel de Bellême, wealthy Norman landowner, belonged to the de Bellême family.  They were infamous for cruelty and general wickedness.  Mabel exercised her share of the wickedness and cruelty; eventually one of the many Normans she impoverished gathered his brothers and murdered her.  We discuss the de Bellêmes, when we're not discussing Orderic Vitalis, the monk who chronicled their history. (For those of you who have forgotten, it's Orderic who thought that the White Ship crashed on

Feb 10, 2021 • 48:17

Thomas Malory Goes to Prison for Treason, London 1468

Thomas Malory Goes to Prison for Treason, London 1468

Sir Thomas Malory of Newbold Revel got into lots of legal trouble  in 1443, 1451, 1452, and might or might not have done the things he got accused of, but he did indeed enter into a plot, along with Richard Neville, to overthrow King Edward IV, for which he ended up in prison. Too bad for him! But lucky for us, because that's when he wrote The Hoole Book of Kyng Arthur and of His Noble Knyghtes of The Rounde Table, which got published, after his death, by William Caxton, which is why we kno

Jan 27, 2021 • 1:03:25

The Theft of the Book of Kells, Kells 1006

The Theft of the Book of Kells, Kells 1006

Happy New Year! An episode without any deaths! The "chief treasure of the western world" (as the Annals of Ulster reported) was stolen from the Abbey of Kells in 1006, surprisingly, not by Vikings. The thieves tore off the cover, which was encrusted with gold and jewels, we figure, and threw away the manuscript itself, which was found 2 months and 20 days afterwards, "under a sod." Besides the book itself, and some other book which was like it in being thrown in a bog, and Ke

Jan 13, 2021 • 1:02:08

32. Special Episode! Peter Konieczny from Medievalists.net Explains Con Artists in Medieval London

32. Special Episode! Peter Konieczny from Medievalists.net Explains Con Artists in Medieval London

It's a Special Episode! Peter Konieczny joins us, to share his knowledge and stories about frauds in medieval London.  A fake Earl's son, who needs you to help a lot, really, no kidding. Fake government inspectors who need you to hand over the ale so they can test it, bye-bye. Bakers who steal bits of your dough so as to make extra loaves and shortchange you. Merchants who put dirt in cinnamon. London's a scary place. Many thanks to Peter and medievalists.net.

Dec 30, 2020 • 48:21

31.Christmas Episode: The Murder of Thomas Becket, Canterbury 1170

31.Christmas Episode: The Murder of Thomas Becket, Canterbury 1170

After years of annoying each other, and fighting about the boundaries between church power and royal power, Henry II of England lost his temper with Thomas Becket, at Christmas, and said something (we don't actually know what, exactly) which caused four knights who didn't know him very well (and hence didn't realize that he lost his temper all the time and would be getting over it in a while) to go down to Canterbury and murder the Archbishop. Bad career move, really. And Thomas B

Dec 16, 2020 • 1:19:42

30. Albigensian Crusade, Languedoc 1209-1229

30. Albigensian Crusade, Languedoc 1209-1229

Once the Latin Church figured out how to justify slaughtering people who weren't believing the things they were supposed to believe, according to the Latin Church, it was a short leap from slaughtering them in the Holy Land to slaughtering them in Europe.  The Cathars were being very wrong, very wrong indeed, on account of being dualists and not believing in things like baptism and the resurrection. So the Pope called a crusade against them.  And the French monarchy was glad to help, since

Dec 2, 2020 • 1:03:47

29. People's Crusade, France and Germany, 1096

29. People's Crusade, France and Germany, 1096

At the end of 1095, Pope Urban II called for  the first of several crusades, wherein the Latin Christian Europeans were supposed to go take the Holy Land away from the Islamic rulers who held it at that time.  So the nobility of Europe, mostly from France, started putting together forces and money, so as to travel and fight.  That was the Prince's Crusade, the First Crusade, and it would leave Europe in the summer of 1096.  It takes a while to gather the wherewithal needed for such a ventur

Nov 18, 2020 • 49:43

28. The Sicilian Vespers, Sicily, Easter 1282

28. The Sicilian Vespers, Sicily, Easter 1282

On Easter Monday, 1282, the Sicilians revolted against the French government that had been in place since 1266; in the course of a few weeks 4,000 to 8,000 French people were slaughtered, depending on what source you are reading. We explain how things got to such a pass, and Michelle has a lovely trip down a rabbit hole wherein she discovers the awesomeness of Stephen Runciman.  George Orwell makes a cameo appearance.

Nov 4, 2020 • 43:09

27. Halloween Episode: Arche the Miller and his Drunken Buddies Pretend to be Ghosts, Cambridgeshire, England 1592

27. Halloween Episode: Arche the Miller and his Drunken Buddies Pretend to be Ghosts, Cambridgeshire, England 1592

When Arche the Miller and a bunch of his cohorts got very very drunk and pretended to be ghosts, they were living in Early Modern England, but they were pretending to be Medieval Ghosts, new ghosts having not been invented yet. In this episode, we explain medieval ghosts and how to pretend to be one, tell medieval ghosts stories, and try to wrap our minds around the well-known medieval forensic tool wherein murdered bodies bleed when the murderer comes by. Happy Halloween!

Oct 21, 2020 • 1:09:46

Robert the Bruce Kills John Comyn, Dumfries Scotland, 1306

Robert the Bruce Kills John Comyn, Dumfries Scotland, 1306

Robert the Bruce was not yet King of the Scots when he stabbed John Comyn in front of the high altar in Greyfriars' Church in Dumfries. But he would be, pretty soon, in spite of being excommunicated for violence in the church. We explain the fight for the crown of Scotland and the interfering bossiness of Edward I of England, but we don't explain whether the Bruce murdered Comyn or it was self-defense, because we don't really know.  Because chroniclers.

Oct 7, 2020 • 1:15:43

The Viking Raid on Lindisfarne, Northumbria 793

The Viking Raid on Lindisfarne, Northumbria 793

It was quite a shock to the rest of Europe when the Vikings, who had been raiding in Scandinavia and making little raids occasionally in Europe, pillaged The Holy Isle of Lindisfarne.  The Vikings were pumped, though; it was a very profitable day. That was the beginning of the Viking Age.  We discuss the Viking Age, why it was clear to the Vikings that raiding (as opposed to thievery) was not a crime, and why Hnefatafl, which everybody calls Viking chess, isn't really like chess at all.

Sep 23, 2020 • 1:07:53

Philip IV Slaughters the French Knights Templar, Paris, 1310

Philip IV Slaughters the French Knights Templar, Paris, 1310

After having lost Cyprus, their last holding in the Middle East, the Knights Templar no longer had a bunch of Christian pilgrims to protect, so they tried to figure out what to do next.  Find new mandate? Join the Hospitalers? Well, no, neither one, darn it. Philip IV of France, who owed a whole hell of a lot of money to the order, strong armed the Pope, with the result that the order got disbanded and the French Templars got exterminated. We're both annoyed at Philip, Pope Clement V, Sir W

Sep 9, 2020 • 1:13:40

The Sheer Dreadfulness of Hugh Despenser

The Sheer Dreadfulness of Hugh Despenser

It's true that Edward II was a very bad ruler; one of his problems was that he would adhere loyally to his favorites.  And though his loyalty to Piers Gaveston gave him difficulties, his loyalty to Hugh Despenser got him dead. Why, oh, why, did Edward think so highly of Hugh Despenser, the greedy dangerous, annoying chancellor who was so very dreadful that the queen invaded the country to get rid of him? And is the only Englishman to have a war named after him? Why? We don't know that.

Aug 26, 2020 • 1:13:40

The Murder of Edward II, Berkeley Castle, England 1327

The Murder of Edward II, Berkeley Castle, England 1327

In September, 1327, Edward II, who was by that time no longer King of England, was murdered, at Berkeley Castle. Probably. We discuss what happened, what could have happened, what didn't happen, and oh of course why the king was a former king, and why the former king had to be gotten rid of. Michelle explodes lots of myths. And we decide that though we would not like for Edward II to be our ruler, he was probably a wonderful dinner companion.

Aug 12, 2020 • 1:15:06

The Murder of Marguerite Porete, Paris, France 1310

The Murder of Marguerite Porete, Paris, France 1310

Marguerite Porete wrote a book.  One bishop said it was heretical and burnt it. Three theologians said it wasn't heretical, just really difficult for regular people to work with, on account of in order to follow it, you'd have to be as spiritually ardent as Marguerite Porete, and very few people were. The head Inquisitor of France got a committee together, and they said the book was heretical and she should take it back and say sorry.  She didn't. They burned her and the book both

Jul 29, 2020 • 46:54

The Massacre at Abergavenny, Wales, Christmas 1175

The Massacre at Abergavenny, Wales, Christmas 1175

William de Braose invited Seisyll ap Dyfnwal and some other local Welsh leaders over for Christmas dinner, at which they were all going to agree to live in peace and whatnot.  This made sense to the Welsh, who normally wouldn't have trusted William de Braose any further than they could throw him, because for them, it was the time of reconciliation!  Settling debts! Being nice!  So you can imagine what a shock it was when William had the doors shut and murdered everybody.  Then, because he w

Jul 15, 2020 • 50:17

The Murder of Sigebert, Vitry-en-Artois 575

The Murder of Sigebert, Vitry-en-Artois 575

We go back to the early years of our 1000 year mandate, to discuss some of the Merovingians!  Lots of people murdered each other and got murdered; here's Sigebert, who was assassinated by his sister in law.  Also, we include Sigebert's wife Brunhilda, who managed to do lots of damage before her eventual execution.  And Michelle gets to explain why the Nibelungenlied really has not got much to do with this couple.  She read the whole damn thing, too.  Bless her heart. (Also Anne's

Jul 1, 2020 • 43:39

The Peasants' Revolt, England 1381

The Peasants' Revolt, England 1381

When English commoners marched on London in 1381, killing court officials, Flemish immigrants, and anybody associated with John of Gaunt, it was after they had been through years of social unrest following the Black Death, and several harsh taxes.  The Revolt is well known even now, not because of the peasants' demands (which they didn't get -- abolishment of serfdom? executions of all of the king's councilors?  get real), but because John Ball was giving sermons to them (to eithe

Jun 17, 2020 • 1:11:50

The Murder of Joan of Arc, Rouen 1431

The Murder of Joan of Arc, Rouen 1431

The Burgundians were fighting a civil war with the rest of France; they allied with the English, who were fighting the French in the last section of the Hundred Years' War; Joan had been causing them both trouble by inspiring the French to fight; the Burgundians captured her and sold her to the English; the English convened an ecclesiastical  court and had her condemned for heresy, on a technicality, so they could burn her at the stake.  That was how they got rid of a prisoner of war who wa

Jun 3, 2020 • 1:14:38

Vlad Țepeș Slaughters the Transylvanian Saxons, Wallachia, 1460

Vlad Țepeș Slaughters the Transylvanian Saxons, Wallachia, 1460

Vlad Țepeș -- Vlad the Impaler -- had a reputation for cruelty even during his lifetime, due to the fact that Germany had the printing press and he had impaled the Transylvanian Saxons after destroying much of southern Transylvania. Nowadays, he's conflated with Dracula, and it's true Vlad Dracula was one of his names, but it had nothing to do with vampires and Bram Stoker made the whole thing up. But it was a war crime, even by late medieval standards, to impale an entire population o

May 20, 2020 • 49:46

Crimes Against the Jews, Latin Europe, 1348-1349

Crimes Against the Jews, Latin Europe, 1348-1349

Over the course of the Black Death, Christians across Europe carried out massacres, imposed exiles, and confiscated the goods of their Jewish neighbors, though the Pope tried to stop them.  It was the worst wave of massacres of the Jews in Europe before those of WWII.  But the context of the massacres is the hundreds of years before and after, of crimes just as horrific though not as concentrated.  We discuss that background, and focus on two examples: Erfurt and Strasbourg, both in 1349.

May 6, 2020 • 39:58

Accusations of Witchcraft against Alice Kyteler, Kilkenny 1324

Accusations of Witchcraft against Alice Kyteler, Kilkenny 1324

In 1324, Alice Kyteler and several other Anglo-Norman citizens of Kilkenny were accused of witchcraft. Kyteler's husband had died under suspicious circumstances, and the new bishop was obsessed with witchcraft: perfect storm. What do your hosts believe?  Yes to the poisoned husband. No to the nine red roosters and the four and a half peacocks. And her cohorts, including Petronilla de Meath, who was burned at the stake? Wrong place, wrong time. Oh, and Kyteler got away.

Apr 22, 2020 • 53:12

The Murder of Peter of Castile, Montiel, Spain, 1369

The Murder of Peter of Castile, Montiel, Spain, 1369

On the 23rd of March, 1369, the noble, worthy Pedro of Castile, the glory of Spain (we're quoting Chaucer here) was treacherously murdered by Henry of Trastámara, his half brother and rival for the throne.  And that is what we were planning on talking about.  Promise. But we got sidetracked, Anne by the interesting litany of the murders that Pedro himself committed, and Michelle by the interesting rabbit-hole of a play written in 1818 by Ann Doherty.  We cover the murder of Pedro, we really

Apr 8, 2020 • 56:11

Eustace the Monk, Battle of Sandwich, England, 1217

Eustace the Monk, Battle of Sandwich, England, 1217

Eustace the Monk, AKA Eustace the Outlaw, AKA Eustace the Pirate, AKA Eustace the Mercenary, AKA Eustace the Admiral of the French Fleet, led a varied and exciting existence, hired as a pirate mercenary first by the English, then by the French.  Everything was great until the Battle of Sandwich, at which he lost his head.

Mar 25, 2020 • 58:46

The Black Dinner, Edinburgh 1440

The Black Dinner, Edinburgh 1440

In 1440, King James of Scotland was 10 years old, and the power struggles around the throne were deadly.  The Douglases weren't, at the moment, as powerful as they had been, but would be stronger any minute, as the 16 year old 6th Earl of Douglas would indeed be getting older.  Unless somebody murdered him first!  There's an idea!  Were the 6th Earl and his little brother invited to Edinburgh, given a mock trial and beheaded?  Yes.  Yes, they were.  Was there a dinner first, at which t

Mar 11, 2020 • 51:10

The Tour de Nesle Scandal, Paris, 1314

The Tour de Nesle Scandal, Paris, 1314

In 1414, Philip IV of France had three adult sons, all married.  There should have been no problem with the royal lineage.  Too bad that Philip's three daughters-in-law all got into trouble, because two of them were having affairs with a couple of Norman brothers who were knights of the household.  Too bad, indeed. Torture, executions, dungeon incarcerations, and the dying off of the Capetian line would follow.  Oh, and Isabella the She Wolf was involved.  (Bonus!  Michelle explains the Thr

Feb 26, 2020 • 58:03

Fra Alberigo, Faenza 1285

Fra Alberigo, Faenza 1285

As far as we can figure out, the only reason that anybody knows anything about Fra Alberigo, who murdered a couple of kinsmen at a banquet in 1285 in Faenza, is that Dante stuck him in the traitors' level of hell in the Inferno.  Horrible crime! Violation of the ancient laws of hospitality!  But he didn't get arrested, he didn't go to trial, he just ended up in Hell before he actually died, because Dante tweaked theology, and so now he lives on. Forever. In footnotes to the Infern

Feb 12, 2020 • 37:09

Els Von Eystett, Nördlingen, 1471

Els Von Eystett, Nördlingen, 1471

Living as a prostitute in the municipal brothel in Nördlingen, Els von Eystett, forced to have an abortion, refused to be silent, even after she was beaten by the brothel-keeper.  She and the other women working in the brothel testified against the brothel-keeper and the madam, giving details about the horrible conditions they worked in.  The city officials believed them, and they won the case. Really.  Also, Nördlingen was built inside a meteor crater.  Really.

Jan 29, 2020 • 40:43

Gilles de Rais, Nantes, 1440

Gilles de Rais, Nantes, 1440

Marshall of France and war hero, Gilles de Rais spiraled downward precipitously, ending up being executed for murder, sodomy, torture, and heresy in 1440.  Whether or not he actually sold his soul to the devil in the process is debatable. In good news, though, he produced an awesome dramatic extravaganza before he started murdering children.

Jan 15, 2020 • 47:54

The White Ship Disaster, Barfleur, Normandy, 1120

The White Ship Disaster, Barfleur, Normandy, 1120

The fact that some people think that Stephen of Blois -- or maybe Ranulf Meschin -- caused the sinking of la Blanche-Nef allows us to consider it a True Crime.  It wasn't.  But it was the worst teenage drunken party in history, and that's good enough for us.

Dec 18, 2019 • 47:50

Beatrice Cenci, Rome 1599

Beatrice Cenci, Rome 1599

Outside of our 1000 year mandate!  It's the renaissance!  But only just, since Michelle points out it's still the Middle Ages in England.  And there's a lurid murder!  And a play by Shelley!  That came lots later, though.

Dec 4, 2019 • 37:55

The Princes in the Tower, Part 2, London, 1483

The Princes in the Tower, Part 2, London, 1483

In the last episode, we left young Edward V and his brother Richard in the Tower. They went into the Tower in June of 1483.  They never came out alive, to anyone's knowledge.  In this episode, we discuss what happened -- what the rumors were, what the theories are now.

Nov 21, 2019 • 39:47

The Princes in the Tower, Part 1, London, 1483

The Princes in the Tower, Part 1, London, 1483

Edward V, King of England (12 years old) and his brother Richard, the Duke of York (aged 9) went into the Tower of London in 1483 and never came out.  In the first part of this story, we discuss the Cousins' War, and how the boys ended up in the Tower in the first place.

Nov 19, 2019 • 28:20

The Bloodfeast of Roskilde, Roskilde, Denmark, 1157

The Bloodfeast of Roskilde, Roskilde, Denmark, 1157

On August 9, 1157, three rival claimants to the Danish throne met for what was supposed to be a peace banquet celebrating their agreement to divide Denmark.  What actually happened was:  Canute dead, Valdemar wounded, Sweyn blamed.  Justified preemptive strike or premediated murder?Join us as we discuss early Danish politics, family dinner parties, and White Mash, that excellent medieval treat.  Num.

Oct 26, 2019 • 29:55

Cangrande della Scala, Verona, 1329

Cangrande della Scala, Verona, 1329

In July of 1329, the city of Treviso surrendered to the besieging army of Cangrande della Scala.  Cangrande entered the city in triumph.  Four days later, he was dead.   Natural causes?  Or murder?    He died from foxglove poisoning, but exactly how or why he ingested foxglove is unclear. Join us while we discuss Italian politics and the dangerous nature of that lovely plant, foxglove.

Oct 16, 2019 • 24:13

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