Finding Fifty
Mette Ivie Harrison and Candice Clark Stevens
Mette and Candice, friends for more than thirty years, both found themselves divorced during the pandemic. They have very different perspectives on the challenge of finding themselves in the midst of an entirely new life.
Episode Fifty
Candice and Mette talk about what the podcast has meant to them.
Safety
We talk about what makes us feel safe and what doesn't.
Perfectionism
Two recovering perfectionists talk about the contining temptation.
Being Fun
Can you become more fun and if so, how?
Why Do I Keep Doing Too Much?
When you know you shouldn't do too much, why do you keep doing it anyway? What are you winning? What are you avoiding?
What Do I Keep?
What do you keep, literally and metaphorically, after a major life change?
Advice
Do you give advice? Why or why not?
My Body Is Falling Apart
If no one has ever told you before, it sucks getting old.
We Can Do It!
All the things we've learned to do since our divorces.
Regret
What do you regret? How do you let go of regret? What regret is it useful to hold onto, if any?
Self-Sabotage
Taking a good hard look at how we self-sabotage
Taking Feedback
How good are you at taking feedback? Should you always?
Strength vs. Fexibility
Yes, we're talking literally and metaphorically here
The Value of Subtraction
What can I take out of my life that will add to my life?
Getting What You Want
Are you allowed to get what you want? That's the first step in getting it. Other thoughts on the same.
Independence and Asking for Help
How do you learn to ask for help and not give up your sense of independence?
Hitting the Wall
When you have nothing left, you hit the wall. Sometimes that can be a very good thing.
All or Nothing
We talk about avoiding the binary of this type of thinking.
There's Plenty of Time
Sometimes you worry if there will be enough time, but there is.
Self-Care
Is self-care bath bombs and chocolate or is it more than that?
Money
What is money for? How do you use money properly? How do you feel less guilty about money? How do you use money for happiness?
Annniversaries
What do you do when anniversaries about things you're still processing come up?
27. Because I Want To
What if "because I want to?" is not a selfish thing to say, but actually the only reason any of us do anything?
25. Stop Feeling Bad About Your Divorce
Why divorce isn't the worst thing in the world. If you're up for that discussion.
24. Anger
It's time for us to own our anger.
24. Solving All the Problems
Do you think we can solve all the problems? Because we definitely do.
23. Pain vs. Suffering
Can you experience pain without suffering. Your two hosts argue charmingly about this.
20. Being Invisible
Women and mothers are often invisible. We would like to stop being invisible, please.
22. Do People Change?
People might change, but it doesn't seem to happen very often, or at least not on a character level.
21. Love Languages
Do you hate the love language paradigm? Is it useful at all?
20 Being Invisible
Women and mothers are often invisible and we would like to stop being invisible now please.
19. Their Opinion is None of My Business
Everyone says this, but how can you really learn how to not care about their business and believe it's really what you think about yourself that matters?
18. If It's Going to Get Done . . .
If it's going to get done, it has to be by me. Ever feel like this? We do.
17. Optimism
We take a little quiz to see how optimistic we are. We are both surprised (though you may not be).
16. Forgiveness
What is forgiveness? Is it letting things go or is it something more?
15. Religion After 50
We have both been through changes in our religious beliefs, but have also ended in very different places.
14. Birthdays
Some people hate birthdays. Some people love birthdays. Guess which of us is which?
13: Physical Appearance
How do you feel about your changing physical appearance after age 50? Wrinkles, gray hair, sagging--um, other parts. We chat frankly about these issues.
12: Being Happy
What is happy? How is happy? Is happy?
11: Trusting Yourself
How do yout rust yourself when you are the one who has always minimized and betrayed you?
10: Past, Present, Future Selves
Trying to figure out how to reconcile the different versions of ourselves, offering them all grace.
9: Putting Yourself On Hold
Women tend to put their own needs on hold. We talk about how to not do that anymore.
8: Losing People
Mette and Candice talk about the pain of losing people as your life changes, and the choice to lose people, as well.
7: Depression
Depression is scary and lonely. It isn’t something I would wish on my worst enemy. But it is something that I’ve ended up helping dearest friends through. Sometimes I’m even grateful for my depression because it has allowed me to understand something I never understood before and to help articulate the thoughts that depression whispers to you.
6: Mettice
In high school, one teacher who only ever saw us when we were together called us "Mettice," Candice and Mette. Here is our origin story, even though it took us a decade to remember the first time we truly met.
5: Brooms of Joy
Do you think brooms are not things of joy? Well, listen to us discuss why they can be.
4: Being Alone
There are wonderful things about being alone. Here are some of them.
3: Loving Yourself
How do you love yourself? What if you hate yourself? Why does it matter?
2: The Rules
We all seem to enter into relationships with the idea that there are certain rules, but when other people don't follow the same rules, we're angry. And discover that they never had the same rules in the first place. How could they not?
1: Owning Your Choices
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