Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast
Backwater Bastards | Realm
A team of artists telling THE GREATEST BEST FRIEND STORY that the galaxy has ever seen!While everybody else is out saving the world, we’re just trying to find the next best place to eat.Join us on our haphazard adventure.
A Hiatus Update: Help Shape the Show!
Over here at Bastard HQ, we are knee deep in dreams of the future. But we want to make sure it’s a cool future that everyone likes- so we made this survey to pick your brains. Here it is: https://forms.gle/RDckuVtWDMVpRcnU6 We’ve blasted this thing out to our discord, and a few of our socials, but there’s another group that we don’t want to miss, and that might be you. So if you've got some time, please consider sharing your thoughts. It's anonymous, and it means a lot to us. We’re working on
Introducing: Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry | Goblin Mode
Hi Backwater Bastards listeners! This week, we're bringing you an episode of another show we think you'll love: Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode!!Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode is the latest actual play narrative fantasy series from Geek & Sundry in partnership with Realm. Using the popular TTRPG Dungeons & Dragons, Goblin Mode tells an ever-evolving improvised story full of magic, monsters, and mayhem. Goblin Mode is not your traditional fantasy story. These aren’t the mighty warriors who would be ca
The Gang Goes on Hiatus (See you in 2025!)
The Bastards are taking a brief hiatus so that they can experiment, play, and recover from the tornado that was 2024. In the meantime, they will be hosting game nights in the Discord, pausing the Patreon for a month, and then releasing some hot, fresh SideArms. (Don't forget that you can speedbinge them on the 7 day free trial!) Our heroes will be BACK and ready for action in 2025, with a plan to get the whole gang back together... Or die trying.Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël G
Director of the Light
TW: Gore, Cannibalism, Blood.RWD presents - a Rendezvous with Bastards! Our friends find themselves trapped in the middle of a meltdown. Will they be able to escape this emergency, or will the mystery behind the walls prove just too tempting to ignore? Millicent practices first aid, Lucky smells the ground, Harrison shows off his criminal enterprise and Hank hits back.Backwater Bastards is a sci-fi comedy improv actual play podcast played by three international artists with an emphasis on slice-
Closer to Heck
Episode 1: Closer to HeckOur good friends Chloe, Will, and Am are - A Rendezvous with Destiny - an actual-play podcast that immerses listeners in tabletop role-playing games where players explore mythological themes and narratives. They took us on this incredible adventure and it was so much fun! Thank you again to Chloe, Will, and Am and please go and check out their show where ever ya get your podcasts.RWD (A Rendezvous with Destiny ) presents - a Rendezvous with Bastards! Joined by the Ennie-
The split II - Dogs Breakfast
Trevor has returned and has brought news of Cleo, but she needs help. So now Ze and Boris must race to finish their business on Garcia station to get to her aid. But just one thing, that business is an intergalactic war.Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by @georginalesauxAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisod
Introducing: The Sprouting
Hello Backwater Bastards listeners! This week, we're introducing you to The Sprouting, another actual play podcast we think you'll enjoy!The Sprouting Season 1, Ch. 01 The Meeting of Souls - Pt 1Welcome to The Cradle. Our protagonists meet at a fuel stop... sorry, Gas Station... and come to the realization that travelling onwards as a group is far safer than travelling alone. As they navigate this eldritch plant strewn world, what horrors might they encounter?I guess you're about to find out.Tra
The split I
Trevor has returned and has brought news of Cleo, but she needs help. So now Ze and Boris must race to finish their business on Garcia station to get to her aid. But just one thing, that business is an intergalactic war. Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by @georginalesauxAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpis
SideArm Offcuts
The bastards have been hit with the most ancient of foes, the scheduling big bad! and have lost. So this week instead of an episode we give you a tasty offcut. Please take this offering and grant us some extra time.Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Mat
Budgy Smuggler
Ze, Boris and M8 are at war. Barely alive and grappling with the deformed remnants of their plans, the Doctor and his crew face the wrath of the roused Synth Army. As the drones fly in, Ze and the assembled Bastards prepare for the end. But what they get, is something else entirely.Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by SalvoAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël
Junk in the trunk
Dr. Ze, Boris and M8 have no choice but to flee the Angel they came to save. With the help of a fast car, the legacy code, and Thespa’s militia, they brace for the impact to come… Both from the loose Angel, and the leagues of synthetic deserters- desperate for the refuge of a less violent world.Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by skiamakhia_/Ambiance sound support by Ja
From Pod to Bod!
The Doctor Ze , Boris and M8 otherwise known as PUMP BOIS are in some deep danger, how deep? try behind enemy lines deep. But they must go deeper if they are to find and free M8s angel.Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by IG @georginalesauxAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel
BONUS | SideArm Offcuts
It's a special time, it's time for us to chow down on some OFFCUTS, all the tasty lil morsels that didn't make it into the main episode are now here, for your ear pleasure. And if you wanna hear more of this and all of our other Patreon exclusive content then check us out on Patreon. There is even a FREE 7 day trial if you would just like a taste.Love ya all and see you INNN SPPPAAACCCCEEEE! ( in space ) Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Tayl
Thats alot Robin
Cleo has been taken aboard the ship for scientific testing, but it doesnt seem like this will be easy, for Cleo or the crew.But whos that in the shadows?Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by DrewAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel MatthewsDistributed by Realm-Send inquiries an
She the queen and we the sorry people
Bortis and Margo have infiltrated the Biolife stronghold, leaving Cleo and Fron in the jungle behind them. Struggling to find a way after them, Cleo and Fron turn to old tactics. It wasn’t that long ago that a party split punished the Bastards- what tidings will it bring today?Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodiehAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Gh
PUMP BOIS
M8, Ze and Boris have found their way to Garcia station, and with the help from an old friend Thespa they now know how to get to the synth side to find their lost Angel. But to do that they will need to rely on Brawn, not brains.Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Daniel MatthewsAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Au
Thrifting
M8, Ze and Boris arrive on Garcia station. But the station, its changed, and the gang are looking for a lost angel . So in order to do that they are first gonna have to find the local warlord. Thespa.Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodiehAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Dani
Rig, Its a quiet place
It’s leap year on Earth, and that means one thing- Tay and Dan are putting on TURTLENECKS. Trevor and R.E.E.S.E. continue their hunt for Dr. Ze and Boris, when they hit a spot of engine trouble. Find out what becomes of them as Tay and Dan co-DM the DM for the first time ever in a special one time glimpse into Trevor’s Travels! He’s on a journey, and at this rate- it might take a whole ‘nother leap year to get back home… (Especially if these two spaceheads are sharing the wheel.)Starring:DM Di
All systems Margo
Margo and Cleo head out to thwart the galactic company Biolife once more, but halfway there they are con-fronn-ted with stowaways. Now the crew must navigate a jungle planet to discover if Margo's worst fears are true. -Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Daniel MatthewsAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisod
Patching things up
Cleo is back on Diaus, Old friends Bortus and Fronn are waiting for the return of their great leader, But how will they take her new look? and is CapTown ready for Cleo's return?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Daniel MatthewsAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel MatthewsD
S3E01: Old Friends
Our Crew have been spread out across Mid Space, and on an outworld moon Dr Ze and Boris continue to lose themselves, fighting away the pain of loss with drink. But while returning to their ship the M.A.X the duo are confronted with an old friend.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Richard Kimber-BellAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Kar
Bastards Wrapped 2023
It’s another year in the Bastard Books! If you’re reading this, we wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. Join us on a stroll through 2023, as we reminisce over the year’s stories, some big moments, and perhaps.. a sneak peek into what awaits us in 2024…If you’re a new listener- tread lightly! Here be spoilers!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Daniel MatthewsAmbiance
Everybody’s got a Sword (A YASP adventure ft. Realms of Peril and Glory)
Join Tay and Dick as they ‘awaken in a stage place’ alongside Pip and Naomi of Realms of Peril and Glory Podcast, on a delicious solar punk steamboat, that's also a galaxy-wide famous restaurant. But not all is as it seems on this restaurant, for there has been a murder most foul…Wanna hear more like this? Well don't worry, we got you. Head over to the Realms of Peril and Glory Podcast to hear “Chicken in the Fog”, a collab we did with them, where Tay and Dan wake up in a western graveyard. What
Short Stories | The Dirt
Margo blue eyes Finds cleo and take her back to the good dirt for a final rest.This is the fifth of a collection of shorts showcasing the myriad of perspectives in the immediate aftermath of the second season finale. They mark the end of one story, and the beginning of another. Stay tuned for Season 3!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by RedaAmbiance sound support by Jamie N
Short Stories | The Usual
Every day for Trevor is the same day. Wake up, worry about rent, eat, and dig. It’s been days since the gates closed- or maybe weeks. It’s all the same now. All that matters is digging out REESE, and finding a way back… To everything.This is the fourth of a collection of shorts showcasing the myriad of perspectives in the immediate aftermath of the second season finale. They mark the end of one story, and the beginning of another. Stay tuned for Season 3!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Ma
Short Stories | The Gate
Ze and Boris flee Midspace with Wraith artillery on their heels, as the gates are closed for the first time since the war. They find themselves in the outer rim, resorting to old tactics. They are alone for the first time. Splintered from their lost home and their lost crew. Everything is gone. Who are the Bastards, now?
This is the third of a collection of shorts showcasing the myriad of perspectives in the immediate aftermath of the second season finale. They mark the end of one story, and the
Short Stories | The Queen
It may surprise you to know, that the newly landed Wraith army isn’t the most dangerous thing in Midspace these days… Follow Princess Zhu Zhu to the new palace, to see just how deep the dread can go. This is the second of a collection of shorts showcasing the myriad of perspectives in the immediate aftermath of the second season finale. They mark the end of one story, and the beginning of another. Stay tuned for Season 3!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo
The Evacuation
As the Battle for MidSpace rages all around, Big Pat leads the masses to safety. It's always the people that these conflicts hit first. It wasn't so long ago that she was one of those people- lost in the current of another long past war...This is the first of a collection of shorts showcasing the myriad of perspectives in the immediate aftermath of the second season finale. They mark the end of one story, and the beginning of another. Stay tuned for Season 3!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeo
Upcoming stories
-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Reda KahloulaAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel MatthewsDistributed by Realm-Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.comSupport the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterba
As above, So Below
The crew are divided and need to reunite before the captain's ship explodes them all into space dust. But BJ has got away and they need to find him as well. Its high stakes, but this isn't the Bastards first rodeo.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Reda KahloulaAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sou
The chaos and the Captain
The crew is split , time is running out, and our bastards must find a way to save the doctor, destroy the chaos engine, defeat the captain, confront BJ, and now theres a wraith navy to add to the mix?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Reda KahloulaAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by D
Backwater Bastards is nominated for Best Podcast in the ENNIES! Please vote for us :)
Backwater Bastards is nominated for Best Podcast in the ENNIES! Aaaand we humbly crawl here today upon my 17 assorted appendages to beseech a vote from your glorious hands, should you deem it appropriate. We are small fries so everything counts.https://vote.ennie-awards.com/vote/2023/THANK YOU FROM ALL OF US (Tay, Dicky and Dan, and our families who are real done hearing about this.)https://twitter.com/TAYvanbiljonhttps://www.youtube.com/@Dead_Toothbrushhttps://discord.gg/5CKdVajs Learn more abo
Behind closed doors
The Doctor has been captured, high above midspace station held in a cell of water Ze must figure out a way to escape and to destroy the chaos engine in the process. Meanwhile on Midspace station Cleo and the gang are faced with the same challenge but from a different angle. How will the Bastards get through this while separated.Crit Awards! Please vote for Tay as best player and Boris for best NPChttps://forms.gle/PNdQGHL7TW163ercA-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-B
No Way Home
The crew have endured, but barely, and the threats aren't over. Their mission now is to return home, uncover the remnants of their ruined base, and work to disarm the chaos engine while seeking their nemesis Captain. Their struggle is far from over. But the challenge they face now seems insurmountable. How on earth are they going to navigate through this labyrinth of devastation?!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafre
Sewer Water
The crew have survived but only just, and they aren't out of danger yet. They still need to find the Captain, deactivate the chaos engine, and in the process save MidSpace station. But heck right now they have an impossible task. How the heck do they get out of this sewer?!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Reda KahloulaAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghel
SideArm - OffCuts/009
Is that the swing of an axe I hear? it is! Brilliant that must mean there will be some off cuts for my ears to eat.This week we have a bonus episode for you all! This is one of our SideArm episodes, our Patreon exclusive content. We release two SideArm episodes a month, and if you like this type of ramble, laughter fun time then you can get this and access to our First campaign Rhalloran. So what are ya waiting for? For the price of a "Bag o' Fries" you can get all this today.But for now please
A Distant Toll
The whole of Night City is crashing down on the Bastards’ heads.Channon has given their last warning, and the trap of all traps has been sprung. Our party splits in the devastating collapse. They are separated, injured, and trapped inside the shifting rubble. Is a toppled tower the last chapter for our crew? Perhaps it’s like the captain said, you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonD
Lore Dive - Bobby VS Kheen
LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE! It’s time for another Cage-fight! Or should we say, DEBATE NIGHT?At the left podium, counting their bags of credits and making SPACE 4 U, we’ve got the pink terror himself, our very own BOBBY! And at the even lefter podium- stitching up something FIERCEANDPRIMARY, THE MAGNIFICENT KHEEN!!Who will win in this ultimate showdown for the mayoral crown of Midspace? Let’s find out with some help from our listeners and three incredible commentators.Starring:Richard Kimber-BellT
Lemon Pepper
The chaos engine is out there and the Bastards don’t have long to find it. They’ve landed in Night City behind D.E.E.T.Z. and they’re all on a hunt for Boris’ dark creation. But with drones on their tails and a target trained on Zhu Zhu’s head, they’re on their own and they’re in danger… But it might not be the danger that they think, until it’s much too late.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel M
LORE DIVE - Food Replicators
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about Food replicators!Starring:Richard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEpisode art by Björn HurriAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews-Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.comSupport the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BackwaterbastardsIf y
The sky spider
The Bastards have finished their preparations and are now ready to once again raid the night city. But the Captain and her revolutionaries haven't been idle either and its only a matter of time before the Chaos Engine is deployed...-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Randy LovingsAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
SideArm - OffCuts/007
This week we have a bonus episode for you all! This is one of our SideArm episodes, our Patreon exclusive content. We release two SideArm episodes a month, and if you like this type of ramble, laughter fun time then you can get this and access to our First campaign Rhalloran. So what are ya waiting for? For the price of a "Bag o' Fries" you can get all this today.But for now please join us as we dive deep into OFFCUTS. all the silly lil jokes and laughs that we had in our recordings that didn't
Lore Dive - D33Ts VS Larkey
In one corner shrouded in darkness, plated in all manners of armour and armed to the hilt, its the forever loyal and aways terrifying DEETS! And in the other corner, beamed in from the comfort of a command ship, leading legion & fleet in conquest for the Empire, its ADMIRAL LARKEY!Starring:Richard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEpisode art by Björn HurriAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel
The Chaos engine_01_FINAL
The crew finally knows the full truth about Boris. …And they’re keepin’ him ANYWAY! But the fight ain’t over yet. They’ve got to get home and make a plan. The Bastards owe D.E.E.T.Z. and Zhu Zhu a visit about the future of Midspace- and maybe a little warning about the interstellar crap-storm that’s on the way. It sure ain’t the first time there’s been trouble. And if these unlikely allies can see eye to eye, it won’t have to be the last either.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Ri
LORE DIVE - PARTY ROLES: TANK, DAMAGE & HEALS
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about PARTY ROLES! aka tankin’, damagin’ and healin’!You know that we’re busy building our own game system, that’s what we’re playing! But how do you fit into it? Join Dan, Tay and DM Dick Dynamite as they dig into the roles that a player might have, and what we’ve already seen in the Bastard universe that illustrates them.If you enjoy the nitty gritty skeleton of game design behind the RP, then baby, this dive is for you!
Borigin Part 3 - Lock it up
Peàrl and Petune must now trust Boris if there is to be any chance that the twins survive BJ. What was once just a bit of fun has now become life-threatening, and perhaps their trusted knowledge of chemistry wont save them. Meanwhile Boris must do what ever he can to keep his friends safe.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodiehAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Mic
Introducing Epic
FEED DROP - This week, we would like to introduce you to Epic, a show from Realm.EPIC is your new HQ for Realm’s exhilarating action and adventure stories, with new episodes dropping every Monday introduced by host Faith McQuinn. Embark on your greatest adventures yet, whether it’s crash landing on a desolate planet with only a cerebrally-embedded AI to guide you, or realizing that your latest game design is the only thing staving off total global annihilation. This episode is from the season Ct
Lore Dive - Boris VS M8
LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE! We have the man boy genius Boris up against the Densest thing in the galaxy. Who will win in this ultimate match up of Brain vs Brawn. Lets find out with some help from our listeners and three incredible commentators.Starring:Richard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEpisode art by Björn HurriAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews-Send inquiries and fanart to
Borigin Part 2 - Elephant Toothpaste
Boris along with the twins Peàrl and Petune must flee, but every direction feels just as dangerous as where they have come from. Needless to say this crew is in way over their heads.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Daniel MatthewsAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel MatthewsDi
Lore Dive - Side Characters
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about SIDE CHARACTERS, aka people we ain’t! On Backwater Bastards we’re telling the greatest best friend story in the universe! …But we couldn’t do it without our friends. Join Dan, Tay and DM Dick Dynamite as they dig into the people (and aliens) that we fight for, over, and with! If you’ve ever wanted the deets on how we build em, who’s our favorite, if the seed is an item or an entity, and the ancient stories behind the
Borigin Part 1 - Falling Bricks
Boris is Boritheleon Hasilfilliams III, son of the biggest arms dealer in the galaxy. He’s a known genius, and a key cog in the terrible machine of his father’s plans. He’s been hiding for a long time. Doing odd jobs across the system, slumming it with his found family… But things have caught up with him now. Daddy’s home, a world ending weapon is on the loose, and there’s a whole lot of explaining to do about how exactly he got caught up in all of this.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Mas
Lore Dive - Ships
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about SHIPS. SHIPS are pretty important to our story. They’re why we met! Both in real life, and in the game. Cruising space just wouldn’t be the same without ‘em. Dan and Tay join DM Dick Dynamite as he pops the hood on the galaxy’s favourite vehicles, how they work in combat, and what inspired them in the first place. If you’ve ever wondered how to build your own frigate, how indoor jacuzzis work in zero G, or if R.E.E.S
The Jacket
Boris and his dad are facing off in the casino! Cleo and Ze are posted up with their bags of chocolate shrimp, Trevor is winning big on loaned cash- and everything looks fine up here in high stakes paradise! ...Except for the 21. And the lasers. And the unexpected guests. And the sound of friends leaving friends in the lurch. For real.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Bar
Bastards Wrapped 2022
It’s another year in the Bastard Books! If you’re reading this, we wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. Join us on a stroll through 2022, as we reminisce over the year’s stories, some big moments, and perhaps.. a sneak peek into what awaits us in 2023…If you’re a new listener- tread lightly! Here be spoilers!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Daniel MatthewsAmbiance
Family
Boris and the crew head to the casino! But the only person planning to win big is Trevor. While Cleo and Ze try to keep everyone safe and fed, like a family. But there are other forces at play, and some way or another one family is about to breakup.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BarbaerianAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ W
Time to save Boris
After locating Boris the crew now need to figure out how to keep him safe, is Boris even in any danger at all? The bastards will do anything to make sure not one hair on his lil head isn't harmed. But the one person they cant keep him safe from is himself.Dark Dice Podcast-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Even Mehl AdmundsonAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël
The Bastards are back from London Comic Con!
We’re BACK from our first Comic-Con, and we’re sitting down for a recap! If you’re a listener, you’re part of why this was possible. So buckle up for a recount of the events, the takeaways, the 15 kilos of dice, and the story of the first of many Backwater con adventures!Free Stuff PageMCM Comic Con - A Behind the Screens Look: Game Master's Roundtable panel liveDark DiceThe Shadows at the DoorDragons DuelThe DM’s Book ClubWhat Am I Rolling? PodcastStarring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master --
The Bastards are coming to London Comic Con!
The Bastards are heading to London for their first comic con! So while our brains are fried from all of the planing and moving we still wanted to sit down and talk with you about what we are doing this weekend and catch up in your ear holes!The Bastards Free stuff page Dragons DuelTravis VengroftBodiehLondon MCMStarring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodiehAmbiance sound support
Eep
BORIS IS MISSING and the Bastards are hot on his trail. With almost no time to recover from being doxxed, the crew harnesses their “whole selves” to set off into the hidden tunnels of Midspace. Did Boris come this way? Was he taken? Is he ok? And maybe more importantly yet- do we really know anything about him at all?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Even Mehl AdmundsonAm
Midspace Newscast
This just in! The Bastards’ secret lair ain’t so secret anymore, so this week we’re tuning into the Midspace News to hear all about it!Our trusty news casters head down into the streets to get the real scoop on these Bastards and the heck they’ve been raising for our fine tax evading populace. If you’ve been victimized in any way by their exploits, reach out now with your eyewitness account. And don’t miss this short! Because this newsflash is developing faster than an extra limb on an ambitious
Lore Dive - Gear and equipment
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about THE EQUIPMENT AND THE GEAR!Yeah we talked about places, but now we have to talk about STUFF. And not just any stuff- but the stuff that matters. Weapons. Blasters. Energy gloves, explosives, vehicles and armor!We’ve got questions about what can be a weapon, and why the answer is everything but only if a Bastard is holding it.If you’ve ever wondered what powers an energy staff, how the heck shields work, or what the o
Knock Knock
There’s somebody at the door? The Bastards have set up their secret underground lair, unloaded their bizarre spoils, and somehow they’ve been found anyway. An emissary of a certain princess has come calling and there’s a deal on the table. The Bastards have a reputation now, you see. Maybe even some sway for once! But a bigger battle is brewing, and they may be right in the middle of it.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Docto
Lore Dive - MidSpace the inhabitants
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about THE ZONES AND INHABITANTS OF MIDSPACE.Midspace station is so dang important that we had to come back and do a second dive! Dan and Tay join DM Dick Dynamite as he digs into the known areas of Midspace, who runs them, and what their deal is.If you’ve ever wondered why the Princess Zhu Zhu left her home world to run this cess pool, the status of the local breakfast burrito situation, or what’s on the OTHER side of Nigh
Bobbys Gome Depot
After saving Midspace for the 310th time the Bastards are celebrating with some SHOPPING. Our victorious crew has an empty lair to fill and each one of them has a plan for how to do it. In the middle of grabbing some ceramic garden gomes and a home brewing system, the cafeteria seems to mysteriously empty. Looks like once again, something’s going to keep these heroes from their feast.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Z
SideArm - Hard Crust Bread Chat
This week we have a bonus episode for you all! This is one of our SideArm episodes, our Patreon exclusive content. We release two SideArm episodes a month, and if you like this type of ramble, laughter fun time then you can get this and access to our First campaign Rhalloran. So what are ya waiting for? For the price of a "Bag o' Fries" you can get all this today.
But for now please join us as we dive deep into hard crust bread. Yeah that should cover it. Its a ramble, now you know what ya signe
Lore Dive - MidSpace the place
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about MIDSPACE.Located in the center of contested space and the beginning of the whole dang Bastard story, Midspace Station is a criminal hideaway and a historic neutral zone.Come and hear about its wartime origins and how it came to be in the mind of DM Dick Dynamite. (..And while you’re at it, find out the TRUTH about Who runs the Underground, Big Pat’s front business, and if there really IS a secret vent tucked away som
Suspended in sound
It’s time to find out what really waits at the bottom of the One True Leader’s water. After a suspended moment in time learning about Ze’s past, we return to our heroes suspended in the Leader’s very own pond. The battle rages on around them as the cultists begin to lose ground. With their tentative allies ready to strike, Cleo and Ze set out to finish a fight that started many years ago… Hopefully it won’t finish them first.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCle
Lore Dive - Psychic abilities
A lore dive with the Backwater Bastards. This week, psychic powers! From telepaths like Dr Z, telekinetics like the One True Leader or precognitive's like the Wraith Seers, the psychics of the Bastard universe are all able to interface their brainwaves with the world around them.Learn about how it all works, who can do do it, how they can develop, strengths, weaknesses, in game possibilities and the roles that might benefit the most from psychic abilities.DM Dick, Taylor and Daniel discuss the f
Ze Day part 4: The Legacy Code
They say that The Originator rules in Synth space, but Zafrey Elektra and M8 know otherwise. Our heroes have reached the end of the line here on Gloria’s lonely treasure planet. They have seen unbelievable and wondrous things! But the red jellies draw nearer and their grim song grows louder. They are wounded, pursued, and they have no homes or family. But M8 and Zafrey have the Legacy Code… And each other. And with their own blessing, they move forward together for the first time as unique being
Ze Day part 3: X marks the spot
Zafrey Elektra and M8 weren’t the only ones with a map to Gloria’s treasure. A new band of Atolla have allied with M8’s old crew! A first time meeting turns into a standoff as our young-old heroes attempt an escape from the synth sanctum. But just like the getting here, the leaving proves to be more perilous than any of them could have imagined. M8 and Zafrey have only moments to find their courage, but they are strengthened by the power of friendship, autonomy, and the Angel’s gift of the Legac
Ze Day part 2: Gloria's Treasure
Zafrey Elektra and M8 have commandeered a pirate starship! Still following the commands of their stony captain stand in (The Rock), they break out of the atmosphere together and program their way to Mid-Space. A meeting with a strange hermit confirms the location of their search. It’s true of course that the cave is full of treasure… But for whom? And have our young adventurers been followed? Perhaps it’s time they captain themselves after all.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Ric
Ze Day part 1: A jellyfish out of water
Zafrey Elektra is a soldier of the Atoll. He is the son of an invasive hive that jumps from planet to planet to harvest water for their sea. Whole worlds hear the Atolla Medusa's song when they come, and whole worlds shrivel in their wake. But young Zafrey has been collecting parts in the shadows... He's been building a body to escape the song. Today's the day he finally walks. But how's a young jelly going to survive, so far from their sea?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richar
Rule Chat
It’s time we had a look at the numbers. As you know, the fates of our intrepid heroes are controlled by a few bad little dice. But who controls the dice?Well we do- us and some RULES. The Orbital Refuse world runs on DM Dick Dynamite’s very own game system, and we take a minute to talk about it here!Find out how to make a character in our world, learn the basic structure of our system, and hear about our experience alpha testing this thing by making this show. Maybe even join the Patreon, so you
Stop hiding
Cleo and Dr. Ze started this mission with the intent to sew chaos and spread confusion. Maybe even to make a little damage. To cause a tiny moment of trouble! Fortunately they picked something they are both good at. The cultist’s towers go down one by one to the surprise of all assembled, and our heroes prepare to land their finals blows.. ‘Cause there’s only room in this town for one jelly song, y’all.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van B
Chaos sneaking
Cleo and Ze’s first stealth mission goes off with a BANG! In order to clear the way for D.E.E.T.Z.’s troops, they’ve agreed to take out a minimum of three enemy towers.. But hey, who’s counting? Certainly not the One True Leader that follows their every move through the eyes of each cultist they crash into. With a security system like that, staying hidden will be a true TEAM effort.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zaf
Deus ex mushroom
It doesn’t take The Bastards long to get back into the fray. After putting together a tentative plan with D.E.E.T.Z. and the revolutionaries they are headed back into cultist lands. All that’s left is to make sure the mushrooms are protected and everybody knows their mark. Because our heroes are going in guns blazing!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by LoganAmbiance sound s
The Green Room
The Bastards are stuck between a rock and a hard place. After spending an explosive evening with the cultists Dr. Ze is on a mission to make an emergency alliance. Cleo is now sharing her braincase with a third entity. The Doctor needs information and their unlikely 'friend'.. Is just desperate enough to let them into their lab.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by KtuluRobAm
Neapolitan ice cream
After the party there’s the afterparty! Or at least, after the party there’s dinner with a secret group of cultists in Night City? Cleo and Ze meet up with Randall’s contact, but it turns out nobody’s ever met the contact before.. Or at least, nobody’s ever come back to tell about it.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodiehAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël
Soft Lovings
The Bastards may have survived the mission- but will they survive this party? After an eye opening job that created more questions than answers- the Bastards are due back in town for a shindig with The Magnificent Kheen! The whole crew is dressing up, stepping out, and skipping the line. But what they won’t be skipping, is the TRIP of a lifetime.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode
Heck
It’s just one quick job.. ..To the dark side of MidSpace. To a lone substation hanging in the shadow of ZhuZhu’s lawless empire. For a few more credits, the Bastards make a deal and find themselves accompanying their client. But things start to unravel when Cleo recognizes the cheap, white paneling of the temporary hallways. Time sure does fly when you’re on the run. When’s the last time you thought about home, space traveler?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCl
SideArm - Mercury Underpants
This week we have a bonus episode for you all! This is one of our SideArm episodes, our Patreon exclusive content. We release two SideArm episodes a month, and if you like this type of ramble, laughter fun time then you can get this and access to our First campaign Rhalloran. So what are ya waiting for? For the price of a "Bag o' Fries" you can get all this today.But for now please join us as we dive deep into cleaning methods. Yeah that should cover it. Its a ramble, now you know what ya signe
Margo Blue Eyes
Back in the future, our heroes grapple with a…reluctant client. Who is this person? And why is Cleo pretending to be someone else in front of her? Somehow the Bastards land the job, but the details aren’t coming nearly as fast as the revelations. There’s a familiarity about this job, though.. A feeling that everything is about to change.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodiehAmbiance sound s
Cleo Day Part 4 - You are what you eat
Some say bad things come in threes, but who’s keeping count? The Caps are back in the laboratory, trying their best to salvage the remnants of their gang. There’s an evacuation order in place, and the whole joint is clearing out. Will Cleo and the crew make it to the surface? Will the take make it to the Bringening? …Will they?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonBortis -- Daniel MatthewsFronn - Willem van BiljonEpisode art by Taylor
Cleo Day Part 3 - Two weeks notice
Cleo and The Caps saw the secret in the bowels of the factory and have been on the loose ever since. They survived the walls, the charges, and even their own poor disguises. Somehow they’ve got to free their people from the factory’s fate and figure out how to get back up to the surface… With the take, of course. And each other.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonBortis -- Daniel MatthewsFronn - Willem van BiljonEpisode art by Max Be
Cleo Day Part 2 - When dirt hurt
Posing as eager future employees, Cleo and The Caps gain entry to the factory. They stow their old gear, pull on their new jumpsuits, and feel their first hot water showers. They head further and further underground - still unsure what the job is, but keeping an eye peeled for the take to end all takes... The wonders of the factory are so strange that they nearly forget the one truth of the Bringening... That no good take comes easy.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber
Cleo Day Part 1 - Wet Food
Cleo deCap is just another dirt farmer on Daius. And so is Bortis, and Fron- and everybody else they know. Thing is, Cleo has bigger dreams than just farming dirt. The Bringening is coming up, and the whole dang town and then some will be turning up to see it. This is the year that she's going to score a take bigger than Margot Blue Eyes McCracken- or anybody! Cause there's a shiny new factory down the way- and Margot thinks it's full of Ursine slavers.. But Cleo knows it's full of TAKES. -Starr
Live, Laugh, Love [feat. Adal Rifai of Hello from the Magic Tavern]
The Bastards go out for a cola, and come back forever changed.Board the nightmare taxi and LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE the truest adventure of your wildest dreams with The Bastards, and Adal Rifai of Hello from the Magic Tavern! A small stop for a Sassy Mama Cola turns into a life or death quest to save MidSpace as we know it- and grant a cosmic being their ultimate dream.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Danie
Back in the hole
Did somebody call for a hole expert?The galaxy's favorite hole experts are BACK in MidSpace and looking for a new place to stash their ship. Can't just leave it under Princess Zhu Zhu's nose! Jump on board and scout for real estate as our crew makes their way (downtown) through the sectors of MidSpace that they never got to see before, and then some! (..And don't forget to think some "green thoughts" while you're at it. You'll thank us later.)-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Rich
The Source of the Sauce
The Bastards get fed up!Yup! You heard that right. The Bastards have arrived at Stu's, The Home of the "Everything", for a quick lil bite to eat before heading out back into space. They're rolling for initiative but this time.. It's on dinner. -Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by DanielAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat
S2E09: Pay Ya Hecking Artists
It's shopping time!
The Bastards have made it to the checkout! It didn't seem like it would happen, you know- after all the rats.. But it has, and they're loading up! These Bastards got some money to spend! Now.. What treats will they get?
-
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by Daniel Matthews
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music Karl Casey
Hot Shrimp
The Bastards have landed!Now if only they can get past these synth bandits, and this little guy in the hooded cloak, and these thousands of rats, and, and… Kheen? Is that you?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodieAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews-Send inquiries and
Bobby Got Space 4 U
This week sit down with our Bastards to watch the Midspace famous show "Bobby got space 4 U!"(HEY Bastards! Recognize the sound of this lil' treat? That's right! This is the show that the synths are listening to in the beginning of S2E8! Did we go and actually make the whole show? YEAH! YEAH WE DID! And it's real short, so come on in here and get you some daytime TV nostalgia with a side of family drama and slick Dan-style editing!)-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-
Willow Saga - 004
This week we continue our dive into the greatests movie of all time Willow. We also are introduced to two characters that the Bastards can really relate too. They enjoy arguing, drinking and they love cats. So yeah basically we just found us in Film form. StaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonJoin our DiscordSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
Small Victories
There’s a kidnapping ransom in Kheen’s quarters, and a new job on the Bastard’s plates.They’re off to save the famous designer, but are they truly seeing the full picture?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodieAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews-Send inquiries and fan
Ghost chat + Britney, gladatorial games, and a whole lot of ramble
Bare with us here, this is just a big ol random chat of everything that we could think of.StaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCome chat to us and other fans of the show!Join our DiscordSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
What's he building in there?
Our Bastards find themselves in the great creative halls of KHEEN!After all this time, will they get their amazing new 'fits? Or will there be some strange?...-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Daniel MatthewsAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat AudioEpisode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews-Send inquiries and fanar
Elephant chat
What do Elephants, Rugrats, and Reboot all have in common? Well its that we chat about them briefly today.StaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaJoin our DiscordHey you! The Bastards need your help! Vote for us in the Overall and the Games & Hobbies categories at the People's Choice Podcast Awards at https://www.podcastawards.com/. You've got until July 31st, so get those votes in! Support the show (https
Anne Hathaway [feat. Trevor]
Our Bastards are hot on the heels of the bandits who stole their only chance at leaving this trash station...A Battery! THE Battery! The only one that'll get them outta here. With the help of Rads, the Rak, they may just be able to steal it and be back in time for a cheeky ten top.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsSpecial Featured Guest/Rads -- The REAL Trevor! Episode art by Daniel Mat
Willow Saga - 003
This week we watch more Willow and see what happens when a simple task can be solved with a real bad action. We meet the rouge Madmartigan, we learn that warriors are cowards and that true courage is in Millhouse, I mean Meegosh.StaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaJoin our DiscordHey you! The Bastards need your help! Vote for us in the Overall and the Games & Hobbies categories at the People's Choice P
Finders Keepers and Losers Weepers [feat. Trevor]
The Bastards are FINALLY kicking back and eatin' snacks, when Boris calls with a problem.That problem turns into a midnight adventure, and the Bastards, dare we say, make a new... friend? Hope they make it to the next day, there's armor to collect!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsSpecial Featured Guest/Rads -- The REAL Trevor! Episode art by BodieAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord a
Cold Spoon
Todays ramble starts off strong with a light spoon chat, we then use that spoon to get into some pie chat, to top it all off we end with a little role play. StaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaJoin our DiscordSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
Get Keen on the Trash Moon!
Under Boris' leadership, The Bastards have arrived at a moon made entirely out of trash. What brings them here? The quest for sauce and new outfits, of course! Something unique and something that will keep our Bastards alive longer, Glob we know they need it. Throw a battery or ten in there, while you're at it.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodieAmbiance sound support
Willow Saga - 002
This week we continue our dive into Willow, we start with him at his lowest, laughed at and alone. Will he ever become the Wizard that he desires? Can Willow prove to the village, his family, and more importantly Himself. That he is WIZORD potential? Well, join us as we continue to watch.StaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaJoin our DiscordSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
Party Pose
HECK! The crew has just barely made it past The Shattered Wall- and they find themselves in immediate danger.They must now provide tribute to their new honored friends, or face the void of space alone. Well, surely The Bastards- extreme lovers of treats, merchandise and birthdays- can accomplish this feat.. Right?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by BodieAmbiance sound suppo
Ramble - Ranch Chat
We call this emergency pod to have a chat about Dicks appearance in a Ranch add! We also discuss Dicks full frontal on display in a cut Spartacus episode and some brief mum chat.Ranch video link hereStaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaJoin our DiscordSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
Ramble - Gum chat
This week we still down to have a very ramble ramble, topics include. Gum chat, Collectable cards, Poke mans, Oddbodz, School life, Bullrush, Foursquare, Anime chat and Team rocket love. Basically cover it all!StaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaJoin our DiscordSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
The Butter Knife
Cleo and Ze race to get out of Zarg Moon territory before the New Terran forces blockade the entire sector.Aboard their starship the Grey Dragon, powered by an A.I called Reese, and piloted by the Zargian hero Trevor, The Bastards make a dash for it. And oh, Boris is there too! We wouldn't want to forget Boris. Ya never know when he may come in handy.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsEp
Willow Saga - 001
This week in SideArm we start our journey into Dan's favourite film, Willow! This first episode sees us get introduced to the prophecy and meet Willow for the first time. And what we discover is not good.StaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaJoin our DiscordSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
Sidearm: Welcome!
Welcome to SideArm! Join us as the Bastards sit down to chat chats, have Rambles, rip apart Movies and delve deep into each others childhoods!The Backwater Bastards is only possible because of our great supporters! And you can become a Bastard today! Come join us on Patreon and get access to this Podcast a whole month earlier then everyone else!StaringRichard Kimber-BellTaylor van BiljonDaniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCome chat to us and other fans of the show!Joi
The Replicant - The Dead Song Part 2 [feat. Lucas]
Welcome back for Part 2 of The Dead Song!Join the Bastards this week with Lucas Duff to find out what will happen to our heroes, on their second long-awaited adventure with The Replicant!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite as Nelvin -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsGuest DM and Sound Editing by -- Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven DiceEpisode art by Agustín MarceillacAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl
The Replicant - The Dead Song Part 1 [feat. Lucas]
Join The Bastards this week for a reunion!Both with the fantastic Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven Dice, and his unforgettable NPC, The Replicant. He takes us out deep into Midspace for another horror sci-fi adventure from which we can only hope to return..-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite as Nelvin -- Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel MatthewsGuest DM and Sound Editing by -- Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven DiceEpisode art by Agustín Marceill
Pre-Game Ramble 051 - The Replicant 90 Day Fiance Edition
Pregame rable time. Before we dive into recording our episodes we like to unwind. This week we are joined by Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven Dice. Not only does Lucas DM and edit the episode but this time he also brought us some ramble material. 90 Day Fiance Edition.StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsAnd special Guest DM Lucas Duff from - Ballad of the Seven DiceEpiso
State of the Podcast
We've made it to the end of a story arc! Heck yeah!So where to now? what "shinys" await? And how do we all feel? We have come a long, long way since that cantina in Midspace. Well, in this 'State of the Podcast' episode, we chat about all of these things as we reminisce over the last year of shows and adventures. Pull up a chair and join us!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsHerodotus Arthur
Call me, Beep me, if you wanna reach me
After the ringing stops, there are decisions to be made.Floating in a sea of actual Orbital Refuse, our heroes find themselves reuniting. Come aboard to find out the fate of Clan Zarg, their moon, Larkey, and heck- the Bastards themselves.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenEpisode art by Max BehrensAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord an
Orbital Refuse - S1E49: PREGAME RAMBLE
PreGame Ramble time.This week we chat about Kiwi (Thats New Zealand slang for New Zealand) foods! and Daniel's witch Grandmother. StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsEpisode Tile Art @PenOfSmitingEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
HOT SOUP
The Bastards find themselves caught in a war, but they still have their wits, their guns, and BEAR CLAW!This isn't a situation where phoning a friend might save the day, but Herry won't let that stop him. It's also not a day for weak stomachs. So clearly, it must be time for some soup.Can our Bastards survive? or better question yet, will everyone else survive?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matt
Time to find out!
Surely against such great odds, our Bastards won't be able to turn the tide of battle?Well the stakes are high, the time is now, and the Jelly, the Bear and the old man are ready to find out!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenEpisode art by @PenOfSmitingAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White
Orbital Refuse - S1E47: PRE GAME RAMBLE
PreGame Ramble time.This week we chat about gangbangs planning ( AGAIN) , Tay has a quiz, and Dick shows us a fancy mugStaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsEpisode Tile Art @PenOfSmitingEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
Fresh Prison Toilet
Meanwhile in a flagship prison cell...The Bastards put all three of their brain cells (ok Dr. Ze put all three of his brain cells) together for the second most daring prison break attempt they've ever attempted!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenEpisode art by @PenOfSmitingAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Musi
Orbital Refuse - S1E46: PRE GAME RAMBLE
PreGame Ramble time.This week we chat about what Dan looks like, Dick has a quiz and Tay tells us about young scene Tay. StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsEpisode Tile Art @PenOfSmitingEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
Sweet Timothy
Deep in the belly of the Terran Flagship brig, our Bastards find themselves stripped of weapons and hope...Or at least that is what their captors are led to believe. Still in possession of the universal explosive remote- our trio starts planning their break out, and raising hell. Turns out, you can't easily disarm hope.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - E
Orbital Refuse - S1E45: PRE GAME RAMBLE
Deep in the belly of the Terran Flagship brig, our Bastards find themselves stripped of weapons and hope. ..Or at least that is what their captors are led to believe. Still in possession of the universal explosive remote- our trio starts planning their break out, and raising hell. Turns out, you can't easily disarm hope. BUT before that! There was a PreGame RambleStaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendo
The Stone in the Sock
The skirmish rages on as Larkey's forces draw nearer to the castle - and the real fight flickers on the horizon.The Bastards have made their repairs, packed their bags, and the plan weaves between them as favors are called in and a small, sneaking surprise unfolds - like a tiny stone in one's shoe - as a peaceful surrender is placed right into Larkey's eager hands... Wonder what the catch is? Watch out for those little stones, adventurer.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimb
Orbital Refuse - S1E44: PRE GAME RAMBLE
PreGame Ramble time!StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendolroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsEpisode Tile Art Max BehrensEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaIf you have any fan art then please send it to us! backwaterbastards@gmail.comSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
The Bandit King
Every Bastard has made it to the Zarg Castle.They've had a few moments to reflect on their fragile mortality, and now they must prepare for the inevitable. Will it be a siege? Another betrayal? An all-out war? The way things have been going, it is hard to say for sure. But for now, this night, they are all together. Preparing their defenses, painting their projectiles, and calling in some favors from a few old friends...-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap
Sack 2 Sack
The Bastards gather in the name of their fallen comrade, precariously balanced on the edge of survival, and the edge of their friendship with Clan Zarg.They've fought many battles together now- destroyed many fine places, crushed many frothy brews, but the revelation of Herodotus' deal fell hard.The stark truth of the Imperial Armada and a possible Kraw Alliance after all that has befallen. With the bright memory of the poison on their lips - It is Dr. Ze who must now unite them all, on a danger
Orbital Refuse - S1E42: PRE GAME RAMBLE
PreGame Ramble time!StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendolroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaArt for this weeks episode by Richard Kimber-BellIf you have any fan art then please send it to us! backwaterbastards@gmail.comSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
BUGGA. helpeven.org
Time is ticking, as the poison blooms.Dr. Ze has abandoned his Honey Boy shell, and is racing across the castle on the neck of the chemist. Herry is holding off the entire brute force of the castle army- and Clan Zarg is in disarray as the call for Trevor goes out. It's a mad race to salvage life and limb, and as long as Herodotus can hold 'em off, there's hope for Dr. Ze to get the antidote in time.Or is there? It appears the poison and the ambush weren't the only bones the universe had to cast
Orbital Refuse - S1E41: PRE GAME RAMBLE
PreGame Ramble time!StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendolroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsEdited Daniel MatthewsProducer Taylor van BiljonCoordinator - NekolaArt for this weeks episode by Richard Kimber-BellIf you have any fan art then please send it to us! backwaterbastards@gmail.comSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
The Pink Panther one
We left Herodotus and Dr. Ze lying in wait in the shopkeeper's inventory room.Ready to Trojan Horse their way into the castle under the disguise of the Kraw shopkeep himself, in an act of stealth.Cleo and Clan Zarg make merry in the town, flashing their selfie sticks, spilling Red Moon Worms, and raising their deep, deep cups.Hold vigil with us, listeners. For the Bastard in the box, The one on the Kraw, and the many bleeding out on the floor.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard
Orbital Refuse - S1E40: PRE GAME RAMBLE
Welcome to another Pre Game Ramble, where we Bastards shoot the chat before we get down to the dirty game. Also this episode includes a lil cheeky daniels quiz!StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendolroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsEdited By Daniel MatthewsProducer - Taylor Van BiljonMarketing Coordinator - NekolaArt for this weeks episode by NekolaIf you
F.O.M.O.O.S. Fear Of Missing Out On Snacks
Picture if you will, a troupe of hardy adventurers geared in the sharpest armor, carrying secure packs of the most finely crafted weaponry- with minds tuned to one goal, one dream- one fight...They file out of their warship, ready to complete their mission. Prepared to finish this arcane task, having made peace with their gods and their clans. Serene in their readiness for the battle.Marching silently ever onward to the- ...to the fried dough stand?The time is NOW spaceheads! The Bastards and Cl
Orbital Refuse - S1E39: PRE GAME RAMBLE
Our pregame Ramble before the show starts.StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsEdited By Daniel MatthewsProducer - Taylor Van BiljonMarketing Coordinator - NekolaArt for this weeks episode by Daniel MatthewsIf you have any fan art then please send it to us! We would love to see it and share it. backwaterbastards@gmail.comSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbast
That's No Moon
Finally back in their own minds after a near spacewalk; our scrappy Bastards warp onward to Zarg Moon and their waiting allies.Here to see the land they mean to free, and meet the rest of the people that mean to free it- the crew drafts a plan, a PowerPoint, a couple hundred bombs - ... And an order of printed nametags?Quick! Somebody call a project manager- these idiots are organizing a WAR.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doc
Orbital Refuse - S1E38: PRE-GAME RAMBLE
Its time for a RAMBLE! Come join us chatting before we start to play!StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonHerodotus Arthurion Mendolroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsIf you have any fan art then please send it to us! We would love to see it and share it. backwaterbastards@gmail.comSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com
Put it in Papyrus
The Bastards are making their way... towards Firsnear, but it's a long ways to go. So the team kick back and enjoy a few road beers- until Dr. Ze starts getting a call, straight into his mind? Things aren't looking good for our Bastards. Unless Cleo can figure out how to save everyone, from themselves...-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundse
037 - Put it in Papyrus - PRE-GAME RAMBLE
Its time for our Pre-Game ramble and this week its FREE! If you like this type of content and want more of it from us Bastards then please join us on Patreon!With your support our show can grow and be the best Lil Bastard that could! Honestly, your support means the world to us and we will continue to make content that you and us can enjoy! We love you all, now stay away from that crispy top layer!StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Rich
Dirty Herry II
The gang meets up with Herry- but he’s already up to his old man antics.Will his actions slow the party down? Or has he got a plan so crazy that it just might work? Tune in to find out..-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenEpisode art by Max BehrensAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Au
PRE GAME RAMBLE: Dirty Herry
Our Pre Game RambleStaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonHerodotus Arthurion Mendolroth III - Even Mehl AmundsenDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsIf you have any fan art then please send it to us! We would love to see it and share it. backwaterbastards@gmail.comSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards)
Where you going?
Armed with their new knowledge and their trusty team- Cleo and Dr. Ze head back to the scene of the crime(s) to collect their booty. (Or lose it, depends on where the police and the chefs are.) They have finally made it to the swimming- and the treasures shrouded within. Gather 'round the aluminum pool locker to find out! And pray, that our heroes spirit the seed to space fast enough.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafr
PRE GAME RAMBLE: Where are you going?
Our pregame Ramble before the show starts.StaringThe gator Father, the Dragon Daddy, DM Dick the dungeon master Dick Dynamite. Richard Kimber-BellCleo De Cap - Taylor van BiljonDr. Ze - Daniel MatthewsEdited By Daniel MatthewsProducer - Taylor Van BiljonMarketing Coordinator - NekolaArt for this weeks episode by Daniel MatthewsIf you have any fan art then please send it to us! We would love to see it and share it. backwaterbastards@gmail.comSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbast
Two Birds
The hunt for Herry continues, as our Bastards slowly uncover the laundry list of things they did while in the thrall of the DRINK.Climb aboard as they run from angry chefs, hack into a stoplight, recover yet another lost friend, and speed through the vast undercity of A6, New Terra.Everything's a clue when you're- Well, when you're anybody but The Bastards.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews
The Seed
Ever wake up from a bender in a slightly different state than when you... Well, than the last thing you remember.Join Cleo and Dr. Ze, in the clothes they didn't remember putting on, as they pull themselves from the mire of a big nite out™, and attempt to make sense of where they've been!Cause Herodotus and the money are missing, friends... And all that's left is haze, and Clan Zarg, in the blurry Tesca Towers.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor
I'm Naked
Turns out, The Bastards and their new friends are big fans of hotels.They are not big fans, of paying, or answering the phone.Follow our crew through a maze of avoidance, as they sample the wares of their new hideout while the phone rings off the hook because WHO just charged 20 luxury suites to the Urthean Army?? Hurry up and slam that Sandean caviar, boys. We got some 'splainin to doooo.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor
Dear Bastards
Dear Bastards, The advice show you never knew you needed. ...Or wanted.(Dear Bastards is an experimental sample segment! Join our team as their Orbital Refuse characters, as they answer questions that YOU sent in, advice column style.)-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Taylor van BiljonAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Au
Everything's a Costume
Our customs horror saga continues, with Cleo, Dr. Ze, and the nefarious nineteen of Clan Zarg stuck together in a line.Somewhere, beyond the pearly sterile gates of immigration- Herodotus waters himself liberally in an airport bar.A couple of forms and 436 lies later- our Bastards emerge! Nude, changed, and ready to DESCEND with horrible ferocity and lethal accuracy upon a sunlit morning bistro in the arrivals quarter- for a freedom feast the likes of which the New Terran Astroport has never see
The One At Customs
Our Bastards have made it across the universe, through multiple galaxies- past, out, and, through the clutches of multiple nefarious agents of doom- aaand straight into the actual fire of border control on the planet known as New Terra. Join our heroes on their most daring adventure yet- as they navigate the winding labyrinth of... IMMIGRATION. (Well, two-thirds of them at least. Herry's probably in duty-free neck-deep in a pretzel dog. Borders, man. Who needs 'em?)-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the
The Dorro!
After a daring rescue by a mercenary guild- the Bastards board their ship and Herodotus makes a move! Taking down the enemy spacecraft as they negotiate a higher cut- ("negotiate" being a loosely used word) - The Bastards seal the synth factory, get paid big credits, and somehow end up with an armada and an army? Looks like it’s time for some R&R planetside! Where’s the nearest port again?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor
Anything can be Anything
Deep inside the synth body factory, the battle against the honey boy rages on- as a rogue AI takes its wild revenge on our humble travelers. Things start to look up as our team learns to assemble, with the help of Dr. Ze's shiny new body! However, that moment of camaraderie is not enough, and we soon find ourselves reminded why the doctor can never have nice things.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel
Bengamins Charity Bowling Promo!
GET ON THE SHIP CAUSE WE'RE GOING BACK TO BENGAMAN'S! This weekend on December 5th and 6th, the Bastards are going back to Bengaman's with Nelvin to kick some arse at the BIG BENGAMIN'S CHARITY BOWLING TOURNAMENT! Join us and 5 other podcast teams for a bracket battle to the finish! Or until we've busted up all the pins and get kicked out...Again. Watch the stream on https://www.twitch.tv/cheaperbythedungeon to watch DM Seth referee the greatest battle Bengaman's has ever seen! All p
The Honey Boy
Our intrepid explorers venture further into the labyrinthine belly of the body factory- hot on the trail of the... Honey. Well, partially. Dr. Ze is still tracking down his new kicks, and despite a few maps, warnings, and blinking red flags- It looks like our Bastards have chosen to jump in the deep end instead! With guests! Now, who could have seen that coming?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Mat
The 38th Smell
Our intrepid team has once again escaped the gaping maw of battle unscathed! Well- Except for Dr. Ze who has lost most of his mechanical body! So, somewhat scathed! Dr. Ze, bravely existing in a... bag of sorts, is ready for a new vessel. And so into synth space, our Bastards go. Home to the highest echelon of synthetic technology and crafting, this should be as easy as stopping station-side to buy supplies. Except that, stopping station-side to buy supplies never does seem to go easily for our
As Big as an Elephant
This is a story of endings. The ending of the saga of the jelly people and their expensive guano problem. The ending of a great aerial assault! And the ending, of a passionate, sordid affair between lovers. Also the end of a nice cushy future of profiting off of the jelly waste, due to a few of those prior endings. Ah well. At least we got some live cargo out of it! Load up the ship and yeehaw us outta here!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van
S1E24: I'm wearing GLASSES
Part 3 of the Cleo and Dr. Ze friendship origin saga!
Turns out, the Prison King and his crew weren’t the only obstacles in between Dr. Ze, Cleo, and those ships. Looks like the guards want to pull up a chair as well. Will Spines get to keep the mech? Will Cleo get her loot back from the cavernous intake room? ...Did they think about the massive bottleneck that’s going to form when every criminal in the prison tries to bust through the unguarded main door after those two single ships?
Looks like
Soup's back on the menu!
Part 2 of the Cleo and Dr. Ze friendship origin saga! The Prison King and his weird little army are the only things standing in between Dr. Ze and Cleo’s big escape! The battle lines have been drawn, and our motley crew ventures forth with their improvised weapons. The Prison King’s crew is fierce- and there are only two ships docked. Cleo’s got valuable loot trapped in intake- and the synth chefs are lost in the vents. So there’s only one thing to do. It’s time to make soup.-Starring:DM Dick Dy
Cleo, Dr. Ze, and Spines
Part 1 of the Cleo and Dr. Ze friendship origin saga! Many years ago in a star system far, far, away- Dr. Ze met Cleo in a backspace high-security prison. Being individuals of such... High creative energy, it was clear that they could not stay interred for long. Zip up yer uniform jumpsuits, troublemakers, cause these criminals are planning a jailbreak- and they're taking as many empty brains along with them as Dr. Ze can grab with a tentacle. Hope nobody's planning on getting in the way...-Star
Orbital Planetary News
We break your regular viewing for an urgent announcement. Eric Rhodes has been sighted!It really is imperative that we derail from the scheduled programming for just a moment, but this is an intergalactic news bulletin that you won't want to miss!-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even Mehl AmundsenCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsEpisode art by Agustín MarceillacAmbiance sound support
Dirty Herry I
Cleo is gonna blow some ship up! Ze is about to perform surgery, and Herodotus is caught staring at an old Lover. Our Bastards are in a pickle now, but this time they are fighting for the right reasons. Money and Lust! The aerial assault is underway! As usual, The Bastards have left themselves only moments to escape. But Herodotus has brokered his shiny new sand deal- Dr. Ze has found fellowship with these other plasmic beings, and Cleo- well.Cleo has already made a whole clutch of explosives in
The Diplomat
Endeared to the Jelly people by Cleo's love of pterodactyls, The Bastards continue their diplomatic mission from Monty into the secret mountain lair. Touring through the complex labyrinth of the Jelly's home, and sifting through the psychic imagery of their culture (while Dr. Ze sagely blocks Herodotus' "psychic culture" from THEM)- The Bastards find themselves in a familiar pickle. Well grab yerselves one of these flying battledactyls, adventurer, it's been a whole thirty seconds since Cleo nap
Monty
Good ol' Herodotus is bringing home the bacon! Or... Well, he's got a guy for that. Herry's old brother-in-arms from his troopin' days has come calling - and he needs some muscle. Obviously, the Bastards are... A choice. And as per usual, they are in need of credits. Follow them on their journey to the planet Sand to meet Monty, and find out what exactly he needs them to do in these here iron hills...-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth
Short Rest
It's been a long string of journeys- and our Bastards have earned a short rest to recap and catch up, both in-game and out. Want more content like this? Join the Patreon for more exclusive episodes and behind-the-scenes antics. (Including our FIRST complete DnD5e campaign RHALLORAN, and our second show, SIDEARM! A chat series, just like this!)-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even Mehl AmundsenCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr
The Replicant Part 2 [feat. Lucas]
Continuing the two-part sci-fi CREEPSHOW of corporate decay and mysterious patrons. Guest DM Lucas Duff continues to lead The Bastards through the dark hallways of an abandoned factory, looking for.. A body? Hopefully they are the only ones looking..-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsFeaturing Guest DM AND Sound Editing: Lucas Duff of Ballad of the Seven DiceEpisode art by Lucas Duff of Ball
S1E15: The Replicant Part 1 [feat. Lucas]
Join us and DM Lucas from Ballad of the Seven Dice as we begin to trek into a dangerous abandoned research station to look for a body.It shouldn't be that hard, right?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel MatthewsFeaturing Guest DM AND Sound Editing: Lucas Duff of Ballad of the Seven DiceEpisode art by Taylor van BiljonAmbiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël GhelfiSynth Music Karl Cas
I Got Blasted at Bengaman's [feat. SETH]
The PARTY RAGES ON with the third and final event in our birthday saga. The time of the laser tag and the bowling has passed. The carnage left in those great theatres of battle was only a shade of the struggle in this quest for the one warp coil. And now in this, the final hour- behind the pizza-slick shroud of RANGO™® the deceiver of Bengaman's- our fellowship gathers in the neon light of an arcade and our man of no name but of many birthdays is challenged to a dance-off. (Yo! Bastards! It was
Bengaman's Bowling Bonanza [feat. SETH]
The Birthdaying continues with PART TWO of the saga! Cleo, Dr. Ze, and their new compatriot "the man with no name" are reeling in tickets and getting close to not being invited back. They've bested the laser tag arena- and have moved on to BOWLING straight through the next wholesome alien family. When will it end? (Never. Birthday FOREVER. Get those tokens, kids. Daddy needs a new warp coil.) (Yo! Bastards! It was DM Dick Dynamite's™ ACTUAL REAL LIFE BIRTHDAY, so us Bastards put our magical frie
TMWNN, Squid, & KAK [feat. SETH]
Did somebody say... BIRTHDAY? Herodotus is busy bonding with the ovum - so Cleo and the Doctor are OUT!Join them as their ship breaks down at Bengaman's FamilyFun Milkshake and Mindgames Emporium - a battleground that one of our Bastards knows far too well...(Yo! Bastards! It was DM Dick Dynamite's™ ACTUAL REAL LIFE BIRTHDAY, so us Bastards put our magical friend rings together and summoned DM SETH™ from neighboring podcast, Cheaper by the Dungeon to take his place so that HE COULD PLAY! Tune in
Making my way Downtown and I'm Homebound
After all that splittin', the party is back together! And now that we're all here, it's time for some classics. Cleo's nearly gone and blown herself up again, Herodotus is grandstanding in honor of his ovular son, and Dr. Ze is hiding in a hallway somewhere doing the real heavy lifting.You can expect a destroyed ship or two, some friendly fire, AND REESE'S SHINY NEW PAINT JOB! (Please remain seated and engage your gravity control mechanism while hearing about it. As per usual, it is out of this
Keep Rolling
The hunt for the egg continues as the Bastards "stealth" through the enemy base. In between the splitting of the party, the massive firefight, and all of the ...questionable choices- will the young ovum ever make its way back onto Reese? Will the Bastards get a chance to be a family again? Or will this rescue op end on the roof of this base- surrounded by enemy fire, as an escape ship hovers precariously above their heads...-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellHerodot
Wheels or Wings?
All of the Bastards and their newfound compatriots have gathered back at the ship and are about to set out on a... mission of stealth? Can they do it? Can they still the urge to yell an insult, toss a grenade, or, unsheath an energy blade? Either way, they're on the trail, deep into an enemy base- to retrieve their lost loot...-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even Mehl AmundsenCleo deCap -- Taylor van BiljonDr Ze/Doctor Zafrey
When life hands ya Eggs
Our intrepid collectors of crap, Cleo and Dr. Ze, continue buying up the station- while the ever noble Herodotus Arthurian Mendleroth the THIRD, gets a bit too saucy on wraith attention and.. And? Loses something of great import.. That's right, space cowboys. Hang up your shopping and pile into the rover, we may not know what's in it- but this split party has a heading, and it's OVULAR.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even Meh
Garcia Station
IT'S TIME TO GO SHOPPING. The Bastards have warped on out to a busy little border town on the edge of synth space. Garcia Station, (named for our new Patron, Fernando Garcia!), is home to all manner of shady folk and obscure doings... And it is here that we make our scene, and set about emptying wallets.Or collecting ill-gotten goods, whatever. Every girl really should have a mobile turret gun, you know?-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendlero
BIG Badda BOOM! [feat. Spiridon Giannakis]
WOOP WOOP that’s the sound of the... local synth authorities? The Bastards have made contact with Hans, are making contact with the unhappy locals- and are likely about to make contact with the armored, hulking command ship idling in the distance. Can our intrepid travelers survive another showdown before Reese falls to pieces?Better grab a turret while they’re still attached...-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-BellHerodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even Mehl Amunds
Hans the Space Dragon [feat. Spiridon Giannakis]
After a SECOND narrow station escape, our Bastards have finally dropped into contested space. Buckled in with their crate of credits, a mildly jostled but intact mystery charge, and a creaking but still cruising ship- things are looking promising, at long last. Except- a planetary body may be approaching in the front-illuminated by the faint glow of an enemy armada from behind, and the inscrutable, perfect dark of a twisting figure, not in front, or behind-..but everywhere. And it hungers...HOLD
The Plentiful Pantry
Armed to the teeth after a quick getaway- egg and briefcase of credits in hand- the Bastards are set to warp! Ahem. However, it does appear that our intrepid pilot, Herodotus, has left some personal effects station side and needs to turn back. If y'all weren't strapped to your seats before, then you'd best cinch your corpse holsters while you can because we are TURNING THIS SHIP AROUND... As soon as... We get rid of D.E.E.T.Z?Midspace, we (may) have a problem.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dunge
Midspace Miscreants
Our trio's subterranean adventure continues, as they barely escape a brush with fate, in the form of a mutated cavern beast. They quickly learn that not all tentacles are to be trusted! (But they can be blown off. Some laws are universal.) It turns out, that their hunt has been fruitful in more ways than one! They have located their mysterious flying quarry underneath the.. Trash pile... And shall henceforth know that it shall be called R.E.E.S.E.! And Reese is happy to see them, the expected vi
An Old Rust Bucket
The Bastards are now three, and they've got a job to do. Picked up by local kingpin D.E.E.T.Z.; Cleo, Dr. Ze, and Herodotus are headed into the bowels of Mid space to bring back a... Well, they didn't really read the manifest. But they'll know when they find it... Right?Jump down into this hole with our... Heroes... And find out if that smell is garbage or Cleo, what's just brushed up against Dr. Ze's leg- and if Herodotus really is the battle master that he claims... Because today, for the firs
A Meeting in Midspace
Our adventure begins. Our scene is the Midspace star station. A long-forgotten diplomatic hub torn between three warring empires. In a shady saloon, we meet an Ursine, a jellyfish in a bowl, and an aging imperialist downing drinks. They're offending synthetics, and badly negotiating the price of a scrap run for the local saloon kingpin's anonymous benefactor. Come see what they find in the bowels of Midspace- or rather, what finds THEM.-Starring:DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber
Pilot Episode
Ursine demolitions expert Cleo DeCap and the Robotic/aquatic Doctor Ze are in search of an easy payout on the hulking space station, Midspace. Located in the center of this galaxy, Midspace station is lawless, corrupt, dangerous, and... A great place to make a buck! It’s here that our Bastards dwell, in search of a big score...The Bastards are BACK, and officially in orbit! We know you’ve all had enough of being gravity-bound- so we’re kicking this joint for a new star system. Join the same motl
Backwater Bastards Trailer
The Bastards are BACK, and officially in orbit! We know you’ve all had enough of being gravity-bound- so we’re kicking this joint for a new star system. Join the same motley crew for new stories, new characters, a brand new universe, and all-new game mechanics designed by our very own DM Dragon Daddy Dick Dynamite.So buckle your EVA suits to yer control decks- cause a bear and a jellyfish just landed in the station and this PILOT is taking you on a RIIIIIDE!-Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord