The Failing Writers Podcast

The Failing Writers Podcast

The Failing Writers Podcast

Join three success-starved wordwranglers as they stumble towards their shared ambition: to become proper writers! Learning from guests like bestselling authors and BAFTA-winning writers. Setting themselves writing tasks and trying to improve their craft. Discussing how to get past all the things that stop us writing. And hopefully taking you on a journey with them to become successful writers! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Anything 4 U - Ep4 - Swabbed

Anything 4 U - Ep4 - Swabbed

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new se

Feb 24, • 26:40

Anything 4 U - Ep3 - Catered

Anything 4 U - Ep3 - Catered

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new se

Feb 10, • 26:41

Anything 4 U - Ep2 - Dumped

Anything 4 U - Ep2 - Dumped

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new se

Jan 27, • 25:30

Anything 4 U - Ep1 - Stripped

Anything 4 U - Ep1 - Stripped

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new

Jan 13, • 28:33

S4 Ep27 A Stroll Down Memory Lane

S4 Ep27 A Stroll Down Memory Lane

Hello and happy new year, you lovely lot.Please allow us a moment of self indulgence now, as all three of us bring you a bonus episode looking back on where we were 4 years ago, when we first began this lovely little writing / podcasting project.Because for some inexplicable reason, we've decided to take our first ever episode and provide a kind of 'director's commentary' over it.There will be cringing. There will be self-reflection. There might even be the odd moment of pride - as we look back

Jan 6, • 1:05:17

S4 Ep26 Flash Fiction Competition Runners Up 2024

S4 Ep26 Flash Fiction Competition Runners Up 2024

This week we have a look at the rest of our festive flash fiction competition shortlist.Warning:  They’re upsettingly good.Any one of them, frankly, could have won.Which must rankle somewhat.Thankfully though, this is the moment they can shine.Here were the winners (Announced last week):Katie Holloway:https://loseyourselfbooks.wordpress.com/James Montgomoryhttps://www.jamesmontgomerywrites.comJohn R Preston. And here are the incredible Shortlisters:Camilla Cassidy:https://camillacassidy.co.uk Ge

Dec 30, 2024 • 35:44

S4 Ep25 Festive Flash Fiction WINNER

S4 Ep25 Festive Flash Fiction WINNER

Winners winners, turkey dinners!Thanks to the absolute legends at SCRIVENER - https://www.literatureandlatte.com/You can get 20% off a copy by using the code 'failing' until the end of 2024.ORRRRmaybe... just maybe... you've already won a copy, and you don’t know it?Well there's only one way to find out isn't there?by listening to this episode....So come on in and let's find out who's won the Failing Writers Podcast £500 Festive Flash Fiction Final!Whoop whoop! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pri

Dec 23, 2024 • 43:08

S4 Ep24 The Lost Art Of Letter Writing

S4 Ep24 The Lost Art Of Letter Writing

Don't forget you can still get 20% off SCRIVENER using the code 'failing' until the new year - so do that first before you get side-tracked with all the less-important Christmas stuff.OK. Done that? Great. Now listen to this lovely episode featuring the wonderful Amy Daughters talking about how hand written letters can help bring people together.https://www.amydaughters.com/booksNext, find out how Jon & Tom got on with a bit of letter writing ...and then for the sake of balance, lets see what ha

Dec 16, 2024 • 1:18:02

S4 Ep23 Resuscitating The Subject of English (pt2)

S4 Ep23 Resuscitating The Subject of English (pt2)

Time to finish our letter to Bridget Phillipson, and once again thank the incredible teachers we spoke to, and the pupils for their fabulous creative writing.And hey, thank yourself too! Whether you like it or not, you're now part of our powerful army of activists, who are going to help bring about a U-turn in reading and writing!Let's start today - let's put away the smartphones - let's read more - let's volunteer as a paired-reader at a school. Let's big-up teachers - let's write something an

Dec 9, 2024 • 1:03:53

S4 Ep22 Resuscitating The Subject of English … (pt1)

S4 Ep22 Resuscitating The Subject of English … (pt1)

"Thank goodness for the Failing Writers."A phrase you've no doubt overheard people say quite a lot over the years. At bus stops. Maybe in libraries? At the off licence?No? Not even the off license?Oh.Anyway - not to worry - this week you're ALMOST CERTAIN to hear it, as Jon and Tom slip their pants on over their tights and become SAVIOURS OF THE SUBJECT OF ENGLISH IN SCHOOLS.Yes, we're making it our mission to breathe new life into our favourite school subject and bring back the joy of readin

Dec 2, 2024 • 37:41

S4 Ep21: Henry Normal & Performing Poetry

S4 Ep21: Henry Normal & Performing Poetry

If Tom & Jon wrote poems‘spose it will be assumedThey won’t be as good as Henry’sNormal service will be resumed.In this episode, we meet up with Henry Normal: poet, writer of famous sit-coms, TV producer and poetry festival founder, and have a blummin’ lovely natter.(After we did that - we watched him perform all his lovely poems, so effortlessly. So fluidly. So naturally.And thus, inspired by his performance, we wondered how hard it would be to knock off a quick poem and perform it aloud.“Bloo

Nov 18, 2024 • 43:53

S4 Ep 20 The Failing Writers Festive Flash Fiction Competition

S4 Ep 20 The Failing Writers Festive Flash Fiction Competition

Sorry? Did you just say you'd love to enter an almost free* festive flash fiction competition to win £500?I thought you did!Well as coincidence would have it, that is exactly what we've got going on in this very episode.So step this way, my cheeky little word-purveyor, and cast your well oiled ears at our glorious 350 word Flash Fiction Competition.That's it.... yep... cast them freely.... mmmm.... that's the ticket.*I say 'almost free', cos it's only a pound to enter. And we only did that to ke

Nov 4, 2024 • 36:35

S4 Ep19: Ergodic Fiction

S4 Ep19: Ergodic Fiction

What is ergodic literature? Well, it's when a story becomes more than just something you read, and you become part of it.But pretend you haven't read that, so that you can find out from listening to this wonderful episode. In which, we have a chat with "S" co-author Doug Dorst and You Say Which Way author Deb Potter, in our quest to get to the bottom of what ergodic fiction is and why it's so blummin' good. Enjoy!Here's some links for things in the show and stuff...https://dougdorst.com/https://

Oct 21, 2024 • 1:02:39

S4 Ep18: What do we think of writing retreats?

S4 Ep18: What do we think of writing retreats?

Should you treat yourself to a writing retreat?If you did it twice would you be re-treating yourself to a writing retreat?If you tweeted about treating yourself to a writers retreat would you be tweeting your re-treat of retreating to a retreat?And if you then re-tweeted your...OK, I'll stop.Tom & Jon not only answer the first of these pressing questions, but as they disappear into the wilderness (sort of) to sample a writers' retreat, they seek to answer the biggest question of all.The one that

Oct 7, 2024 • 56:54

S4 Ep17: A Shortcut To Querying Success

S4 Ep17: A Shortcut To Querying Success

Are you querying? or nearly querying? Maybe you’re fearing querying? Or merely getting weary and a bit teary querying? Well let’s hear from three writers who’ve been down in those querying trenches for a while now.Find out how they're approaching it, what agents' responses have been like and how they’re holding up under pressure.Because when it comes to finding an agent, it’s more often than not, a long and painful process. No matter how talented a writer you are.Byddi Lee:Byddi’s website:https:

Sep 22, 2024 • 1:02:31

S4 Ep16: Let's put off procrastinating, with Oliver Burkeman

S4 Ep16: Let's put off procrastinating, with Oliver Burkeman

... What? Did 2 weeks just fly by since the last episode? No flippin' way.Time, I think, we had a chat about time. The fact that there's never enough of it. Especially for writing.Why is that?Well Oliver Burkeman might just have some answers.Prepare to face the subject of time and limitation face-on.Get ready to completely re-think how we view those precious hours, minutes and seconds. And ask... 'what would happen if we spent less of it worrying about the fact it's running out, and more of it j

Sep 9, 2024 • 46:57

S4 Ep15: How do you know if your writing is good enough?

S4 Ep15: How do you know if your writing is good enough?

Well, that’s the summer hiatus done with - and we're back with an episode which asks the question, "how do you know if your writing is good enough?"In an attempt to answer that question, we’re going to be looking at a couple of Tom’s flash fiction stories and asking if, why, and how, one of them is slightly less rubbish than the other. Both stories were entered into the same competition, but only one of them got published. Can Dave guess which one is which? Can YOU guess which one is which? Well

Aug 26, 2024 • 44:19

S4 Ep14: How to become a full-time author... maybe

S4 Ep14: How to become a full-time author... maybe

Do you have what it takes to quit your day job and follow your dreams to become a full time author?Well, there's only one way to find out...and that's to listen to our interview with J C Duncan!Hear how he bravely decided to give himself a year to become a professional writer and, even bravelier, decided to tell everyone about it!Plus home made knives, Vikings and our usual top quality chat!Find out more about our most excellent guest (and check out that sword!) HERE: www.jcduncan.co.uk.Buy his

Jul 8, 2024 • 52:44

S4 Ep 13: Tune that name! All about pseudonyms

S4 Ep 13: Tune that name! All about pseudonyms

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet...but would he have written that line if he wasn't called Shakespeare?This week Jon, Tom and Dave (or possibly Rod, Jane and Freddy) look into pseudonyms, nom-de-plumes, pen names...and basically just being someone else for a bit.Does your name affect your chances of success? Does it even have an impact on how you write?Join us to find out as the Failing Writers try to become the not-so-failing writers....for at least one chapter. Hosted on Aca

Jun 24, 2024 • 56:58

S4 Ep 12: Mike Gayle

S4 Ep 12: Mike Gayle

A change is in the air here at Failing HQ. A scent on the wind, a signal that the new dawn will herald the arrival of long overdue success.This week, not only do Tom and Jon have a lovely chat with acclaimed author and current Richard and Judy Book Club pick Mike Gayle...but Jon also discusses his submissions to some actual writing competitions. AND Tom talks a bit more about the book he's actually published!Oh, and Dave's there too.Mike's latest novel:A Song of Me and You: a heartfelt and roman

Jun 10, 2024 • 1:10:17

S4 Ep11: Samuel Burr & The Fellowship of Puzzlemakers

S4 Ep11: Samuel Burr & The Fellowship of Puzzlemakers

If we were really clever, we'd have written the show notes for this week's episode in the form of a cryptic crossword clue in honour of our guest, Samuel Burr.We spoke to him about his debut novel "The Fellowship of Puzzle Makers", his frankly unbelievable journey to getting published and even had a chat about all things cryptic.But, unfortunately, we're not really clever...so we didn't.Which makes Tom's incredible publishing news even more puzzling!Find Sam's already bestselling novel hereOr...

Jun 3, 2024 • 51:51

S4 Ep10: Does Age Matter? with Aline Dufflocq & Babette Hughes

S4 Ep10: Does Age Matter? with Aline Dufflocq & Babette Hughes

The average age of our guests this week is 64. Nothing too amazing about that you might say… until you find out the first of our two guests is in her mid-twenties! This week we ask, “Is there a best age to write?”Plus we enjoy a WIP from Geoffrey G N Harrison. And here’s a load of links…Check out Aline’s YouTube here!Here's Aline's ToktokHere's Babette's new book and her website: https://www.babettehughesbooks.comAnd you can read more of Geoff's story "Divided" here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.c

May 27, 2024 • 1:11:08

S4 Ep9: Darren Walsh - He Knows His Punions

S4 Ep9: Darren Walsh - He Knows His Punions

Would you like a pun? Well, that's handy because this week we've been punning for gold and ended up with a bucket load.Director, writer and stand up comedian Darren Walsh chats to us about his career, the art of a good pun and whether AI will ever be funnier than him.Plus Jon comes up with what is almost certainly not an entirely new form of joke!Find out more about Darren here...https://darrenwalsh.co.ukHere's Darren doing his award winning joke (and some others) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/

May 13, 2024 • 57:17

S4 Ep8: A tour of Scarfolk, with Richard Littler

S4 Ep8: A tour of Scarfolk, with Richard Littler

Have you ever been to Scarfolk? It's a strange, yet hauntingly familiar place. Join us as we take a bus trip into the mind of the man who dreamt it all up, Richard Littler.Plus we take a look at another listener's bit o' writing they've kindly sent in to share with the class. This week we try and make Madelyn Postman cry...Find out more about Richard here...https://scarfolk.blogspot.comand here...https://www.richardlittler.com/And thanks Mark@getcarterproductions.co.uk for letting us use those b

Apr 29, 2024 • 1:05:48

S4 Ep7: Robert Popper

S4 Ep7: Robert Popper

If comedy writing is your thing, we've got a real treat for you. This week we talk to the super talented and rather prolific Robert Popper. From how he broke into the industry via Steve Coogan and The Comic Strip to his smash hit sitcom Friday Night Dinner. We also chat about Robin Cooper, The Timewaster Letters, South Park, Look Around You, and plenty more besides.Robert’s Wikipedia Plus, in our regular 'Dare To Share' feature (where we have a look at what our listeners have been writing, read

Apr 15, 2024 • 1:23:44

Improv Your Writing - with Ruth Bratt

Improv Your Writing - with Ruth Bratt

The great Carl Reiner once said “Improvisation is just writing in front of an audience”.  So we figured if we could brush up on our improv skills it's bound to make us better writers... right? This week improv extraordinaire, and official Comedy Store Player, Ruth Bratt talks to us about her life, her craft and the eating habits of her cat... before putting us to the test with our own improvised play. What could possibly go wrong? Go and see Ruth with the legendary Comedy Store Players here:

Apr 8, 2024 • 47:24

The Interview That Went A Bit Wrong

The Interview That Went A Bit Wrong

Unfortunately we're not able to include show notes this week, for legal reasons. Thanks for listening. www.floraopil.com Find out more about Flora here

Apr 1, 2024 • 56:15

Writers Unite! with Sarah from Writers' HQ & Debut Novelist Samuel Burr

Writers Unite! with Sarah from Writers' HQ & Debut Novelist Samuel Burr

Writing can be a solitary business. All those hours spent with nothing but a blank page and a bottomless coffee cup. On reflection we reckon it's probably good to interact with other human beings occasionally. It can stop you going full fruit-loops. (You know...dressing as your main character and wandering around the house talking to yourself.) It can help you find friendly Alpha / Beta readers. It can boost the learnies. It can even help you become more productive... apparently. So this week, w

Mar 18, 2024 • 1:19:45

The Full Brontë

The Full Brontë

Join Tom & Jon on another rambly exploration. This time we're off back to the 1840s to take a good, hard look at the Brontë sisters. Who were Charlotte, Emily and Anne Brontë? What were they like? How is it possible that three sisters all wrote so brilliantly? Why are they still so revered by readers across the world? and what was the deal with Branwell? Pack a rain coat, a poetry book and a flask of tea and come with us o'er the moors, as we chat to experts: biographer - Lucasta Miller, English

Mar 4, 2024 • 1:23:46

Jessica Bull - Miss Austen Investigates

Jessica Bull - Miss Austen Investigates

As an aspiring young writer it's easy to be put off by even the most well intentioned constructive criticism...what's not so easy is to revisit that critique many years later and be inspired to write a novel that has publishers literally fighting each other for the chance to print it. Join us for a fascinating interview as Jessica Bull, author of the much anticipated "Miss Austen Investigates" describes the downs and very significant ups of her writing journey. Buy Miss Austen Investigates

Feb 26, 2024 • 57:06

Danny Wallace

Danny Wallace

Aaaaaand we're back! The Failing Writers return for what some are calling the fourth season of this spectacular podcast. We look forward to a whole new smorgasbord of writing tips, challenges, goals and cock-ups plus a raft of interviews with some of the biggest names in the writing world. Starting with a real corker courtesy of writer, presenter and thoroughly lovely fella Danny Wallace. So hold tight and keep your legs and elbows tucked in at all times... it's gonna be a hell of a ride! Dann

Feb 19, 2024 • 1:19:04

Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas (pt2)

Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas (pt2)

Happy New Year Folks!  We continue our seasonal ghost stories with a handful of listener-written tales. So gather around the hearth with us again as we bring you a selection of eerie yarns, to make your timbers shiver. Massive thanks to our fantastic contributors: AB Finlayson:  https://abfinlayson.com    Threads: a.b.finlayson  Craig Margolis:  X: @damnblankpage Steve Salisbury: X: @SalisburyWriter   Threads: salisbury.writer Christian Fieldhouse Steven Stilbech:  X: @stilbech Simon Curt

Jan 1, 2024 • 57:29

Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas (pt1)

Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas (pt1)

Please accept this as a most cordial invitation to accompany Jon, Tom and as yet unnamed guests for an evening of traditional ghost story telling. We have chosen the most atmospheric venue we could acquire at short notice and now request your company, to consummate this joyously Victorian Christmas night of heebiejeebies. Please bring only yourself. We shall provide the spirits. Talking Scared: https://talkingscaredpod.com/about/ Michelle Paver: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/talking-s

Dec 25, 2023 • 1:15:03

Alec Worley: Fantasy, Sci-fi, Horror & Comics.

Alec Worley: Fantasy, Sci-fi, Horror & Comics.

Alec Worley is an award-lacking (his own words!) author from South London. He writes comics, fiction and audio drama about swords, fangs and lasers. He’s best known for his work on 2000 AD (home of Judge Dredd), Star Wars, and for legendary horror director John Carpenter. He's one of those really annoyingly talented people, with an eye for story and an ear for dialogue. You know the ones. He's also a dead nice bloke. You can read his newsletter, ‘Agent of Weird: Exploring the Write Fantastic

Dec 11, 2023 • 1:30:40

Word Games: The League of the Lexicon

Word Games: The League of the Lexicon

Out of the blue, someone sent us a game. A game all about words and etymology and language - the very stuff we LOVE. So, we decided that we'd get together and play the game to see if it's any good, and have a chat with the bloke who created it. That game is The League of the Lexicon. That bloke is Joshua Blackburn and this is the podcast where all of the above takes place. To try your hand at a few questions and maybe even win a copy of the game - click here! Here's where you can find out mor

Nov 27, 2023 • 1:08:06

The Runners Up

The Runners Up

We couldn't let the amazing stories that made it to the final short-list go un-read and un-heard... so here they are. Plus there's a nice little chat with the overall winner of our £500 prize, Manu St Thomas. Enjoy!! Still not had your fix? Geddaload o' these beauties.... "God of Ramen" (shortlisted for a Flash Fiction Magazine competition in 2022) - https://flashfictionmagazine.com/blog/2022/11/10/god-of-ramen/  "I Have an Invisible Cat" (nr. 7, winner of the Globe Soup July 2022 micro-ficti

Nov 13, 2023 • 43:58

Nanowrimo Special: How NOT to write a novel with Howard Mittelmark

Nanowrimo Special: How NOT to write a novel with Howard Mittelmark

NaNoWrimOhNo!  It's that time of year again when words-per-day becomes the currency.  So we thought we'd bring you even more words... Words of novel-writing wisdom!  No, no... not from us... obviously.  From novelist and longtime book editor Howard Mittelmark.  Co-writer of How NOT to Write A Novel.  A fantastic book full of the pitfalls most writers fall into when they're setting off along the long and arduous road to Novelton, Nebraska. So join us for some entertaining and enlightening chitcha

Nov 6, 2023 • 54:29

Writing Ghost Stories: with Stephen Volk & Ciaran O'Keeffe

Writing Ghost Stories: with Stephen Volk & Ciaran O'Keeffe

With the help of two expert spookologists: Stephen Volk - horror writer & mastermind behind the BBCs infamous 'GHOSTWATCH', and Dr Ciaran O'Keeffe - famed ghostbuster & parapsychologist, we're attempting to figure out what gives us the heebie jeebies, so that we can all go away and write the world's GREATEST EVER GHOST STORY. That invitation extends to you too, listeners!  We want your submissions for our Traditional Ghost Story Christmas Special later in the year. So get writing - and hopefully

Oct 30, 2023 • 1:33:01

How to write a book using ChatGPT

How to write a book using ChatGPT

Well... there's a lot of talk about whether it's right or wrong to use AI to write your book for you. But that's not what this episode is about really.  I mean, we touch on that and discuss it. You can't just ignore the moral questions, can you? But we mostly have a natter with Andy Stanton. An author of some repute. He's written a new book, using ChatGPT, but perhaps not quite as you would imagine. Benny The Blue Whale is a journey through the workings of the mind of a genius writer, and thro

Oct 23, 2023 • 1:29:07

2023 Flash Fiction Competition Winners!

2023 Flash Fiction Competition Winners!

AND THE WINNER IS......... announced in the podcast. Plus the runners up and some highly commended entries, and as many of the superb entries that we can mention.  It's been a brilliant comp this year - with some amazing stories submitted. Listen to see if you've won, and to hear the winning entries in all their glory! Huge thanks to our judge, Kathy Hoyle - and to our brilliant sponsors Scrivener! https://kathyhoyle.com/ https://www.literatureandlatte.com/

Oct 15, 2023 • 43:29

The Bookshop Episode

The Bookshop Episode

October 14th is BOOKSHOP DAY!  So here's a little episode... well... it started out as a little episode... to celebrate the humble bookshop. Jon visits his local store to find out more about the art of selling paper and ink. In the process discovering the formula for writing the quintessential indie bookshop bestseller.  The boys share the names of the bookshops they would open and.. well gosh... they just... have so many incisive and fascinating things to say about books and writing and candles

Oct 8, 2023 • 1:07:51

A Simon Armitage, Stanza Stone Special. For National Poetry Day 2023

A Simon Armitage, Stanza Stone Special. For National Poetry Day 2023

This week we're out and about tracking down poetry for National Poetry Day 2023. We take to the Yorkshire hills in search of the Stanza Stones. Join us on our adventure and help us celebrate some of the work of our current Poet Laureate, Simon Armitage. http://www.stanzastones.co.uk/ https://www.simonarmitage.com/

Oct 2, 2023 • 1:40:57

Oliver Mol - Train Lord

Oliver Mol - Train Lord

Imagine being a writer and not actually writing! Oh wait.  That's us. Imagine being a writer and NOT BEING ABLE TO WRITE! That was Oli.  He had a 10 month long migraine that almost literally killed him. Listen to his fascinating story and hear how he tried to made sense of it all through his autofiction book: Train Lord.  We talk about writing the truth, finding roots, failed orgies and about just how bloody hard writing can be. You can buy Oli's fantastic book Train Lord direct from: Penguin U

Sep 25, 2023 • 1:12:36

Emma Healey

Emma Healey

Hello again. This time out we're having a nice sit down with author Emma Healey. Her debut novel, Elizabeth is Missing, (which has been described as "bloody brilliant, honestly, you should read it Tom, it's funny and sad and intriguing. Proper mint it is.") has sold over a million copies and won the Costa First Novel Award. Plus it ended up being made into a film by the BBC, starring the late Glenda Jackson, who it turns out performed her own stunts. (That will make sense when you listen) Fin

Sep 18, 2023 • 1:19:03

£500 flash fiction contest - entry details!

£500 flash fiction contest - entry details!

DO YOU LIKE WRITING? DO YOU LIKE FREE MONEY? WHAT ABOUT HILARIOUS AND GOBSMACKING PODCASTING? Yeah? Well then blummin' well enter the Failing Writers Podcast £500, 500 word Flash Fiction Competition in association with Scrivener, you noodle-face. PLUS make writing easier and go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com, Hit '+Add Discount' on the pay page - use the code FAILING and get 20% off the indispensable Scrivener app! But before you do any of that... listen to this episode! Not only will

Sep 4, 2023 • 1:13:42

A chat with Patrick Ness

A chat with Patrick Ness

This time out we chat with award-winning, best-selling Patrick Ness. Author of young adult books, including The Chaos Walking trilogy and A Monster Calls -  his newest book Different For Boys - as well as books for adults n all, like. https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/patrick-ness (Not to be confused with Patrick Nest, a bee keeper from Godalming, Surrey. Although, I'm not sure how you could become confused, they've got completely different names). https://patrickness.com/ Also this episo

Aug 21, 2023 • 1:26:43

Where does the word etymology come from?

Where does the word etymology come from?

Well, in answer to the question in the title... we're not sure. We should have asked our guests really - because they are self-confessed word-nerds. Authors and language bloggers, Jess Zafarris and Paul Anthony Jones (you might know Paul as "Haggard Hawks") are two people obsessed with the roots, origins and use of language. So, we thought we'd bring them together for a big ol' chat about interesting word things. Jess - https://uselessetymology.com/ Paul - https://www.paulanthonyjones.com/

Aug 7, 2023 • 1:42:46

Storytime!

Storytime!

Hello there. Welcome to our little podcast.  Do you like stories?  Would you like to hear some now?  Well click play, and you'll get to listen to loads of them!  Somehow this episode has turned into a bit of a story-a-thon. Enjoy!

Jul 24, 2023 • 1:38:09

Crime Writing with Mark Billingham

Crime Writing with Mark Billingham

You might know Mark Billingham as the prolific and award winning crime fiction author. We know him as a really nice bloke who we had a really lovely chat with. But we didn't think that even an interview as excellent as the one we enjoyed with Mark was enough for our amazing listeners. So, we also get stuck into another WIP, this time from listener Gayle Ramage, who shares her Scottish vampire story with us! Thanks for listening! Here's info about Mark's latest book - available in all good book

Jul 10, 2023 • 1:22:35

Jack Meggitt-Phillips

Jack Meggitt-Phillips

This time out we talk to middle-grade kids' author Jack Meggitt-Phillips. We chat about his big break, about badgers and sexy fizzy drinks bottles. You know, all the usual stuff. We also check out another WIP from a listener and... and... erm... well, that's about it really.  Jack's details: https://twitter.com/meggittphillips?lang=en Some of Jack's books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Beast-Bethany-Collection-Meggitt-Phillips-Revenge/dp/9124154911/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=jack+meggitt&qid=1687556188&sr

Jun 26, 2023 • 1:23:50

A (Joanna) Frank Discussion About The World Of Publishing

A (Joanna) Frank Discussion About The World Of Publishing

Last week we talked to Louise Voss, who spoke to us about her first agent, Joanna Frank. So, this week we talk to Joanna Frank, who speaks to us about Louise Voss. She also chats about her journey through the publishing industry, taking in pretty much every stop along the way. PLUS get some top tips for pitching and querying, as Joanna kindly shares with us her “dos” and “don’ts” when approaching an agent. We also take a look at another work in progress too, this time from listener S.G.Sangster.

Jun 19, 2023 • 1:08:39

That's it, I quit...

That's it, I quit...

Hello. Look at you reading the show notes! So... what have we got to tell you about? Erm, well, I guess the main bit is that we're talking to author Louise Voss this week. A bit back she tweeted that she was packing it all in because her enthusiasm balloon had been well and truly popped. We have a chat with her about that and other bits'n'bobs. Then in our Work In Progress feature, listener Donal Fogarty has sent in a short story, with a very, very interesting backstory. There's a few other thin

Jun 12, 2023 • 1:23:36

Laura Barton Interview

Laura Barton Interview

Fancy going for a spin with us? ‘Cos we’re about to head off in this ole, beat up Cadillac. Laura Barton is at the wheel and she’s got the windows down and the radio up. Jon’s nodding seriously to the majestic growl of Johnny Cash and Tommy’s got his head out the window, forcing air up his nose like a blood hound. And we’re here and we’re alive and just shooting the breeze about sad songs, rock stars, lost love, writing, Betjeman, Springsteen, journalism, and turnips… for some reason. Yeah. I’m

May 29, 2023 • 1:13:07

There was a podcast about limericks...

There was a podcast about limericks...

Hello. Welcome to our limerick special! In celebration of National Limerick Day, on the 12th of May, we’ve had a good delve into where limericks came from, what they mean to people and we’ve even had a crack at writing some ourselves too. A huge thank you to our fantastic contributors: Fred Hornaday - https://kingoflimericks.com Doug Harris – limerick collector extraordinaire  Dr Matthew Potter - https://www.limerick.ie/limerick-museum The people of www.reddit.com/r/limericks

May 22, 2023 • 1:26:33

Ian McMillan

Ian McMillan

Eh up Chucks. Int’ episode this week, we bants wit’ Bard o’ Barnsley ‘imsen, like. Ye know the fella: that one who does all that poetry, and is ont’ wireless: BBC’s T’Verb. Yeah. Reight Yorkshire Talker ‘e is.  Aye! That’s ‘im. Ian McMillan. There’s also some other little surprises for ya, which you’ll ‘ave to find out by usin’ yer lug’oles. Ian McMillan’s ‘My Sand Life My Pebble Life' https://www.waterstones.com/book/my-sand-life-my-pebble-life/ian-mcmillan/9781472982940 The Verb: https://ww

May 15, 2023 • 1:25:41

ChatGPT, Kasim Ali and Orcs

ChatGPT, Kasim Ali and Orcs

This time out, we talk about Andy Stanton working with AI on his next book - and discuss whether that's a bit naughty of him or not. We also take a look at some work-in-progress that listener AB Finlayson was kind enough to share with us. And sandwiched between all that quality content, is a rather lovely interview with author (and self-confessed writing addict) Kasim Ali. Here's some links for ya... https://www.juskasim.com/ https://www.thebookseller.com/rights/oneworld-signs-stantons-chatg

May 1, 2023 • 1:18:55

Stuart Turton

Stuart Turton

Hello again! This week we're having a chat with Stuart Turton, author of "The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle" and "The Devil and the Dark Water". We also try to give some worthwhile feedback on work that one of our listeners has kindly sent in to us.

Apr 17, 2023 • 1:13:17

Elaborating on collaborating

Elaborating on collaborating

Just a little episode, to say "Welcome to season 3". This week join Jon and Tom to have a chat about what it was like to (try and) work together on our Poker Night project.

Apr 10, 2023 • 34:12

Finally... we pitch Poker Night

Finally... we pitch Poker Night

Are you ready for a BRAND NEW SEASON of the Failing Writers Podcast? Of course you are!! Well... you'll need to wait a bit longer. We've got to finish the end of Season 2 first. We promised that we would write a sitcom and pitch it to a TV big-wig, and (rather surprisingly) that's exactly what we've done. Enjoy!!

Apr 3, 2023 • 1:02:31

End of season-ish

End of season-ish

Some will be sad. Some may be happy for what has been. Many will call it an “end of an error”. Well, you know what, they might all be right. This week we share some of our old writing from years ago, as we bring season two to an end… ish. We say “ish”, because we promise to be back soon for a one-off special, in which we’ll be pitching our Poker Night comedy project to a TV exec. But until then, goodbye and thanks for listening!

Nov 14, 2022 • 1:08:28

Lucy Porter interview

Lucy Porter interview

Comedy star Lucy Porter joins us this week, to have a good old natter about comedy, quiz shows and cephaloporn. Plus she throws a few shiny pearls of wisdom in along the way too.  Fancy seeing Lucy on tour? https://www.lucyporter.co.uk/gigs/ Fancy seeing Lucy in an embarrassing ad?   Digital Cell Phones TV Commercial 2000 youtu.be Any other links we need??? I don't know. Should we delete this bit? Yes, probably. On it...

Nov 7, 2022 • 1:16:22

Halloween and Sunyi Dean

Halloween and Sunyi Dean

A little bit of a spooky special this week, as we reveal the winner of our Trick or Tweet Halloween writing competition and we welcome author of The Book Eaters, Sunyi Dean, on the show. We have a lovely chat with Sunyi about her writing, vampires, the world of publishing and few other things too.      Check out Sunyi's great blog here - https://sunyidean.com/   Buy Sunyi’s excellent debut novel here: https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-book-eaters/9780008479442 Sunyi’s inspiration for her blog:

Oct 31, 2022 • 1:01:00

Talking Pitching with TV Exec Saskia Schuster

Talking Pitching with TV Exec Saskia Schuster

This week we're after some tips and tricks to help us when we pitch our Poker Night idea. So, we've asked Sakia Schuster to come on. She's worked for loads of TV companies over the years, and is now Head of Scripted at Fullwell 73 Productions. It's fair to say that she knows her onions. And we're going to take some of those onions, and unwrap them... hoping that they don't make us cry.

Oct 23, 2022 • 52:28

The Episode That Was Never Meant To Be

The Episode That Was Never Meant To Be

Well, we weren't actually going to do an episode this week. What with our various domestic dramas and general time shortages, we thought our time would be better focussed on doing more work on our Poker Night project. So that's what we did... until we had an idea, that we just had to share.

Oct 16, 2022 • 27:46

National Poetry Day 2022

National Poetry Day 2022

We celebrate National Poetry Day with some “free writing”, as we go for a little paddle in the stream of consciousness. Four minutes of furious writing which we are brave stupid enough to share with the class.  We also take the opportunity to share one last favourite from our love story competition.  And here's a link to our lovely special guest's lovely book https://www.waterstones.com/book/where-theres-muck-theres-bras/kate-fox/9780008472894

Oct 9, 2022 • 1:07:04

We have a winner!

We have a winner!

Our love story flash fiction competition (in association with the delightful folk at Scrivener) comes to a thrilling finale as we announce the two runners up, each winning a copy of the fantastic Scrivener software - AND our £300 first prize, gold medal, top of the class, cream of the crop, tippity of the toppoty, overall winner - as chosen by our lovely guest judge; comedian, and author of the Breakup Monologues, Rosie Wilby! Enjoy!!   Check out our supreme courting judge’s book here: https://w

Oct 2, 2022 • 56:28

Quite a long longlist

Quite a long longlist

Have you entered our Love story flash fiction competition? Well, we're announcing the winner next week, but this week we're giving you a sneek peak of some of the entries for which we've fallen head over heels. They might go on to win or we may read others that we like more as we digest our way through the mountain of entries. Either way, we just thought that these were too good not to share. So, are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin...     And a link to Scrivener (get 20% off by using t

Sep 25, 2022 • 1:08:42

An enthricing chat about not much

An enthricing chat about not much

This week, a guest we're expecting doesn't show up... and we've got no other time to record the show. So, we just have to go with it, put our big boy pants on and deliver some high quality, unscripted content. You can probably guess how that went. Or maybe you can't, and you're still going to listen. Which we thank you for.      Loads of great writing comps at https://www.globesoup.net/ And a link to Scrivener (get 20% off by using the code FAILING) https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/s

Sep 18, 2022 • 45:16

Talking with Evan S Smith

Talking with Evan S Smith

We thought it was time we got a bit of expert advice from a professor of sitcomology, to help us progress our Poker Night project (which we've been regretting making the focus of this season for some time now). So who better to get than the bloke who is the author of the book Writing Television Sitcoms, Prof Evan S Smith?   And, there's only one week left of our writing competition!! So, hurry up and get your entry in to failingwriterspodcast@gmail.com for your chance to win £300, thanks to our

Sep 11, 2022 • 1:29:29

Developing Characters

Developing Characters

Having trouble developing your characters in your writing? Well, we are too. Thankfully though, Jon has had a clever little idea that we explore in this episode. Will it be helpful? Who knows. Will it be worth an hour of your valuable time? Probably not. But you're going to listen anyway, aren't you? Admit it, you're a little bit addicted to the Failing Writers Podcast. Go on... one more listen won't do you any harm will it? You could quit whenever you want. Course you could.      Find our most

Sep 4, 2022 • 1:11:13

On the other Rand (plus the competition entry details!)

On the other Rand (plus the competition entry details!)

Looking for all the info on how to enter our £300 competition, brought to you in association with Scrivener? Well, you’ll find it right here - along with a tale of two Rands. Our very own Jon Rand and American playwright Jon Rand. Two completely different people… or are they??  Find the other Jon Rand here https://jonathanrand.com/ And a link to Scrivener (get 20% off by using the code FAILING) https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener?tab=macOS

Aug 28, 2022 • 1:00:47

Benjamin Stevenson - AND ANOTHER BIG COMPETITION!!

Benjamin Stevenson - AND ANOTHER BIG COMPETITION!!

Interviewees. Every podcast needs good interviewees. And with a little understanding, you can find the perfect chap - that's when good interviewees, become good craic. This week we talk to Aussie comedian and novelist, Benjamin Stevenson. Talking about his fantastic new book, "Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone (spoiler alert - everyone from the family in the book has probably killed someone), getting optioned by HBO and we also talk about his even better unpublished work "Not Expecting Do

Aug 21, 2022 • 1:19:48

Janice Horton - The Backpacking Housewife

Janice Horton - The Backpacking Housewife

As well as having a lovely, lovely chat with Janice about her romantic fiction work, we also subject her to our own "love" stories. She's kind enough to offer her thoughts and feedback on all three of of our stories, as (unsurprisingly!) we push back the boundaries of romantic fiction to breaking point.    https://thebackpackinghousewife.com/   https://romanticnovelistsassociation.org/

Jul 24, 2022 • 1:22:03

David Quantick interview

David Quantick interview

This week we are honoured to welcome Emmy award winning writer David Quantick. We talk window goats, having big ideas, getting the sack and chat to David about the reams and reams of amazing work he's done. It's fair to say we think this episode is Quanticky AND quality.      LINKS   https://davidquantick.com/ The first EVER internet sitcom "The Junkies" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFOayYFu7Fs That Star Wars bit from "The Thick Of It" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg-pnGFbwMQ

Jul 17, 2022 • 56:39

The last word on bad writing

The last word on bad writing

This week we unironically appoint ourselves as judge Judy and executioner when it comes to deciding what constitutes "good" and "bad" writing. We wade, like treaclenauts through the metaphorical linguistic molasses, to address profligate supererogatory expatiated prose as well as the down right boring and clunky – in a quest to get to the bottom of the question; “So, what exactly makes bad writing bad?”

Jul 10, 2022 • 1:07:51

Dave's Spooky War Book

Dave's Spooky War Book

It's finally Dave's turn to lay bare his work for the other Failing Writers to critique. Will he be happy with the advice he receives? Will Jon and Tom enjoy his work? Will Dave just have a tantrum and decide to quit writing for ever? Well, we’re not going to tell you in the show notes are we?! You’re gonna have to go and have a listen! Plus, we also have flash-fiction-meister Tim Craig back on to have a chat about his debut book (link below if you fancy buying it).     BUY TIM'S BOOK HERE!!!

Jul 3, 2022 • 56:00

The Freshly Award Winning Screenwriter Paul Quinn

The Freshly Award Winning Screenwriter Paul Quinn

This week we're joined by a lovely chap by the name of Paul Quinn. He's just won a rather interesting "Best Unproduced Screenplay" award for his script, Pushing Daisy. So, we have a chat with him about where he's been on his writing journey so far and where he hopes it might take him in the future.

Jun 26, 2022 • 1:00:06

Julia Roberts. No, not that one.

Julia Roberts. No, not that one.

Writers... erm... thingy. Does it... erm... errrrrr... y'know, is it a wotist. A thingy-majig. Or not? We answer these perfectly formed questions and many, many, many, many* others in this week's thrilling installment of The Failing Writer's Blockcast.      *we probably only answer about two other questions if we're honest -  but let's not pretend you thought otherwise. https://www.decodingcreativity.com/ Write Without the Fight: Master Your Creative Process to Write with Ease & Satisfacti

Jun 19, 2022 • 53:17

Talking with Joanna Penn

Talking with Joanna Penn

This week we have a chat with Joanna Penn - author, podcaster, entrepreneur - and she shares her views on the business side of writing and being a successful author. Really interesting stuff!      https://www.thecreativepenn.com  Let us know what you think of this AI voicing stuff https://deepzen.io/      --

Jun 12, 2022 • 1:04:56

Cards on the table about Poker Night (and a mystery guest)

Cards on the table about Poker Night (and a mystery guest)

This week we acknowledge that maybe our group writing project isn’t exactly racing ahead (surprise, surprise!) and try to actually get things moving on our stalling Poker Night sitcom. Plus we also have nice little guessing game, as Jon introduces a mystery guest.  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Started-Swipe-Shelly-Smith/

Jun 5, 2022 • 1:02:26

A critical review of Jon's Tree story

A critical review of Jon's Tree story

This week it's Jon's turn to open himself up to some honest feedback from the other Failing Writers - and also, somewhat bravely, from an unfailing writer too. Will Jon just want us to leaf him alone? Will his story take root in our imaginations? Will Dave and Tom's critique sap Jon's enthusiasm or is their bark worse than their bite? (Will anyone read this far or will they give up due to all the awful tree puns?) Find out, in this week's exciting instalment of... The Failing Writers Podcast!!

May 29, 2022 • 1:11:05

Nels Abbey, author of Think Like a White Man

Nels Abbey, author of Think Like a White Man

This week we talk to Nels Abbey, author of Think Like a White Man, and mostly cover all the same old subjects really. You know; stripper politics, Jim Davidson, Didcot Parkway and how to solve racism worldwide. (We also definitely don't give a plug to the release of the paperback verison of Chris Palling's A Very Nice Rejection Letter either).    https://twitter.com/nelsabbey  And if you want your very own copy of his wonderful book, to love and cherish and keep forever, you can... https://www.

May 22, 2022 • 1:25:43

Constrictive Criticism

Constrictive Criticism

So the time has come for Tom to get some honest feedback from Jon and Dave, as he bravely submits his silly little sales book for appraisal from his fellow podcast hosts. Take a listen to find out what they thought of it, what Tom thought of what they thought of it, and what they thought of what Tom thought of what they thought of it. And if you're brave enough to make it through to the end, there's a lovely little surprise for all you tree lovers out there......

May 15, 2022 • 1:11:33

Interview with Will Storr, author of The Science of Storytelling

Interview with Will Storr, author of The Science of Storytelling

We have a fantastic, illuminating and thought provoking chat with Will Storr this week. Delving into the human psyche and our fundamental core need for storytelling and narrative. Plus we continue to progress with our joint writing project for the season and Tom gets persuaded to share his work with Jon and Dave so they can offer "constructive criticism" next week. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Storr https://twitter.com/wstorr https://www.thescienceofstorytelling.com/

May 8, 2022 • 1:18:54

Talking Sitcomedydramas

Talking Sitcomedydramas

In preparation for finally actually, maybe, starting to possibly begin to put pen to paper on our TV comedy pitch - this week we have a chat about our favourite (and less favourite) sitcoms and comedy dramas.

May 1, 2022 • 59:14

Emma Kennedy

Emma Kennedy

This week we welcome author, comedy writer, performer (and all round massively talented) Emma Kennedy on to the podcast. We find out about her writing, she throws a few home truths our way and she gives us some good old fashioned advice as we start out on our Season 2 quest to write a sitcom comedy drama. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Kennedy https://twitter.com/EmmaKennedy https://www.waterstones.com/book/letters-from-brenda/emma-kennedy/9781529371970

Apr 24, 2022 • 1:10:04

Writing Competitions

Writing Competitions

In this episode we discuss writing competitions. And linked into that, we talk with a few people involved with The David Nobbs Memorial Trust - a bursary scheme that Dave entered recently (spoiler alert... he didn't win, but we speak to the person that did, Zoe Tomalin). We also have a delightful chat with trustee Margaret Cabourn-Smith, to find out more about the trust and its aims.     David Nobbs Bursary Website: https://www.davidnobbsmemorialtrust.org.uk Writers HQ website - for writing c

Apr 17, 2022 • 53:30

An interview with Jeremy Dyson

An interview with Jeremy Dyson

We're honoured to have one of our favourite writers on the podcast this week - as we welcome Jeremy Dyson. He shares some fantastic tips and a fair few 24-carrat-knowledge-nuggets with us too. So, sit back... relax... and soak it all up. League of Gentlemen: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/video/detail/B00ET0LXIU/ref=atv_dp_season_select_s1 Funland: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Funland-William-Windom/dp/B07C45J6YK The Cranes That Build the Cranes https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6738208-the-cr

Apr 10, 2022 • 1:21:58

We're back! Welcome to Season 2

We're back! Welcome to Season 2

Big ideas, rude t-shirt slogans, misplaced confidence and our infallible master-plan – The Failing Writers return for season 2 of their potentially award winning podcast.

Apr 3, 2022 • 48:47

S2: Here we go again!

S2: Here we go again!

So, we're back! And this time we're having a BIG idea. (Hopefully. At some point. Maybe. If we get round to it).

Mar 23, 2022 • 10:54

End of season spectacular (pt2)

End of season spectacular (pt2)

Some people are on the podcast* - they think season one's all over... it is now!!    *(those people would be Adrian Poynton, Caimh McDonnell, OMJ Ryan, Andy Stanton,  Beth Chalmers and Simon Griffin - to whom we offer our thanks for dropping back in to have a catch up with us).    Thank you to everyone who has listened to, supported and championed the podcast in our first season. We've had a great time putting it together and can't wait to bring you more thoroughly average chit-chat and moderate

Jan 1, 2022 • 59:55

The End of Season SPECTACULAR (pt1)

The End of Season SPECTACULAR (pt1)

The end is nigh. The first part of our two part End of Season Spectacular sees us catch up with some of the guests that have helped make The Failing Writers Podcast one of the best (and as yet, pretty much undiscovered) podcasts of the year in the whole wide world. We have a quick catch up with poet Kate Fox, novelist Chris Paling, comedian and author Rosie Wilby, fabulous flash fictioner Tim Craig, children's author Adam Bushnell and international spy Tim Glister.  Music by Dano songs

Dec 27, 2021 • 45:15

The Failing Writer's Christmas Special Spectacular!

The Failing Writer's Christmas Special Spectacular!

Wrap yourself in tinsel, stuff 12 pigs in blankets in your mouth and get yourself comfortable to listen to this festive treat. In this seasonal spectacular, we proudly present the Failing Writers Podcast Panto (ohhhh yes we do!) and also a journey back through our first season, via some of our favourite songs from the series, in our top ten silly little ditty countdown (with a mystery celebrity DJ presenter!) Enjoy... and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!  Music by Dano Songs (And Jon and Tom and Dave)

Dec 20, 2021 • 43:12

Sally Wainwright

Sally Wainwright

Sally Wainwright OBE joins us on the show this week! What do you ask a multiple BAFTA award winning screenwriter with an impressive string of hit TV series to her name; like Happy Valley, Last Tango in Halifax and At Home With The Braithwaites? Oh really? You’d have asked her that?  OK… OK… So... nothing about her bus driving career and her favourite crisps? You sure? Music by Dano Songs

Dec 13, 2021 • 49:42

Our 250 word NYC midnight flash fiction challenge

Our 250 word NYC midnight flash fiction challenge

Undaunted by our ignominious failure in the previous NYC midnight flash fiction competition, we once again put ourselves through the short story wringer and present our writing for all to see and to praise/laugh at/mock/experience as an epiphanical life changing moment (delete as appropriate). And as well as giving our honest, frank and uncompromising feedback on each other’s 250 word "masterpieces", we also wrap up our NaNoWriMo adventure and review some writing software while we’re at it.  Fi

Dec 6, 2021 • 54:39

Lets' talk about using  f*$%ing apostrophe's correctly with Simon Griffin

Lets' talk about using f*$%ing apostrophe's correctly with Simon Griffin

So, this week its' time to have a little chittertychat with Mr Simon Griffin, author of F*$%ing Apostrophes'. We talk about review's and how Simon pretty much almost became an author by accident! Enjoy's! Find Simon's lovely book here https://iconbooks.com/ib-title/fucking-apostrophes/ And, now Jon's little feature is finally off and running, you can find David Lucas' book here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Uprooted-Vietnamese-Familys-Journey-1935-1975-ebook/dp/B019DIW1DS Music by Dano songs

Nov 29, 2021 • 57:44

The greatest day of Jon's life - an interview with Andy Stanton

The greatest day of Jon's life - an interview with Andy Stanton

We're pretty lucky that Jon's writing hero responded to his somewhat serial killer-esque letter of invitation in the affirmative, rather than pursuing it further through legal channels. But all's well that ends well! We had a proper funty time with Andy, his chair and loads of really good insights into "the craft". (Fortunately we managed to keep Jon from embarrassing himself and letting it slip that he's actually got an Andy Stanton shrine in his downstairs loo... oh, and that he nearly called

Nov 22, 2021 • 1:14:13

An interview with Tim Glister - author of "Red Corona"

An interview with Tim Glister - author of "Red Corona"

We talk to Tim Glister, who is definitely not a spy. And he tells us about when he REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED at Cambridge Analytica, as well as the time he REDACTED. But what's probably most interesting is the REDACTED REDACTED and the REDACTED, with an ostrich feather umbrella.    Find out more (or at least as much as one can for such a secretive character) here https://www.timglister.com/ And buy his fabulous new book right here https://bit.ly/30aJaY1  Music by Dano songs (and Jon)

Nov 15, 2021 • 54:50

Poetic Judgement (with the right honourable Kate Fox presiding)

Poetic Judgement (with the right honourable Kate Fox presiding)

We invite poet Kate Fox back on the podcast to critique our work and help us improve our poetry. Which Failing Writer will come out on top? Find out in this week's exiting episode. (That's not a typo. After listening to our poems, you'll be pretty keen to leave). Enjoy dearest listener, enjoy!   If you're joining in with NANOWRIMO (or doing any writing at all) here's that handy little tool to stop you wasting time selecting character names.  https://www.name-generator.org.uk/ Music by Dano Song

Nov 8, 2021 • 55:10

And the winner is…

And the winner is…

Congratulations to the winner of our Halloween Flash Fiction competition! What? You don’t know who that is? Well, sounds like you need to get your old flappy head trumpets round this episode doesn’t it? Enjoy! Music by Dano Songs

Oct 31, 2021 • 57:35

Children's Author Adam Bushnell

Children's Author Adam Bushnell

Crazy kids names, rejection, tortoises - that's what writing for children and inspiring them to develop a passion for reading and writing is all about. We catch up with children's author Adam Bushnell to find out a bit more about writing for kids, teaching teachers and... well, look, we're not just going to tell you everything that's in this episode, are we? You'll have to listen to it.    http://www.adambushnell.co.uk/ https://www.wigtownbookfestival.com/ Tips for watching Jon perform Shakesp

Oct 24, 2021 • 1:02:48

The Brainstorm Ideagasm

The Brainstorm Ideagasm

Thinking. It's hard. And this week we prove it. Join us at the start of a journey of creation. Like the big bang... but probably significantly smaller in terms of impact on the universe. And before you listen, try to guess which Sunday evening TV classic that we decide would be better equestrianised.  Music by Dano songs...and Jon

Oct 17, 2021 • 59:41

Interview with writer and illustrator Jason Cockcroft... and our own amazing artwork

Interview with writer and illustrator Jason Cockcroft... and our own amazing artwork

We welcome super talented (and all round super nice chap) writer and illustrator Jason Cockcroft on to the podcast to talk about his latest book, We Were Wolves. And, not to be outdone by Jason's fancy pen work, we try and draw a cow.     Jason's artwork - https://www.thelittleyellowbird.co.uk/ We Were Wolves book - https://www.waterstones.com/book/we-were-wolves/jason-cockcroft/jason-cockcroft/9781839130571    Music by Dano Songs

Oct 10, 2021 • 58:28

Halloween flash fiction contest - plus Tim Craig's tip-top top tips

Halloween flash fiction contest - plus Tim Craig's tip-top top tips

It's here and we want you to be part of it! Our £100 Halloween flash fiction contest is now open! Just listen to this episode to get your ears round the phrase you need to include in your entry... and get writing! Plus, we've got fantastic flash fictioner Tim Craig on to give us all a few top tips on how to write great micro fiction stories. Enjoy! Find out more about our guest here https://twitter.com/timkcraig More short form top tips from this fella (not to be confused with the other Gaffne

Oct 3, 2021 • 37:04

Rosie Wilby, a writer's room zoom AND A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Rosie Wilby, a writer's room zoom AND A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

This week we've got a big announcement, a great interview with Rosie Wilby, author of The Breakup Monologues, and there's also a rather sizeable announcement. Oh, did I mention we're announcing something? That's in there too.   Find out more about our fabulous guest here https://www.rosiewilby.com/ You can get her even fabulouser new book here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Breakup-Monologues-Unexpected-Joy-Heartbreak/dp/1472982304 And listen to her ridiculously fabulous (though not quite as fabul

Sep 26, 2021 • 58:58

A (not so) mystery guest special!

A (not so) mystery guest special!

This week we yet again prove we couldn't arrange an over consumption of alcoholic beverages in a place that makes alcoholic beverages, and we do it in the company of a special mystery guest who's primed and ready to give us some honest feedback on some previous writing we've done. It's all very exciting.     https://www.amazon.co.uk/Deadly-Caller-gripping-thriller-Detective/dp/B09F1CZTKS/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= Music by Dano Songs

Sep 19, 2021 • 54:01

Talking to best-selling Gillian McAllister!

Talking to best-selling Gillian McAllister!

Another great guest this week, in the form of Gillian McAllister. Sunday Times best-selling author, with the TV royalty seal of approval from Richard and Judy, she chats about her journey, her work and the philosophical musings of Taylor Swift. Read all about Gilly here https://gillianmcallister.com/ Buy her latest smash hit best seller here https://www.amazon.co.uk/That-Night-gripping-psychological-thriller/dp/1405942444/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= See her on the Richard &

Sep 12, 2021 • 42:41

Save the f%@#!ng cat

Save the f%@#!ng cat

In this week's bl**dy episode, Jon reviews the mega-f***ing-successful screen-writing guide "Save the cat" - and then we have a motherf***ing chat about swearing. Listener discretion is f***ing well advised.  https://savethecat.com/ https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/aug/20/bloody-loses-its-place-atop-swearing-lexicon-as-british-use-of-expletives-falls Music by Dano Songs

Sep 5, 2021 • 49:04

Talking TV, comedy and California with Adrian Poynton

Talking TV, comedy and California with Adrian Poynton

Well, despite somehow failing to record the first 30 minutes of the interview, we still manage to have a rather interesting chat with TV comedy scriptwriter Adrian Poynton about his work and his adventures in the world of American TV in Los Angeles.  Music by Dano Songs

Aug 29, 2021 • 46:44

Whingefest '21

Whingefest '21

After entering a micro-fiction contest Tom, Jon and Dave rather maturely consider the judge's feedback, and deal with it in a level-headed and sensible fashion. Kind of. Apart from the stupid bits where the stupid judges stupidly got their stupid facts wrong. Welcome to Whingefest '21!  Music by Dano Songs

Aug 22, 2021 • 50:23

Let's do it LIVE!

Let's do it LIVE!

Some people thought it couldn't be done... they were wrong. Some said no-one would be daft enough to turn up... they were wrong too!! And some people said we wouldn't be able to create the greatest story EVER with nothing more than our wits and a willing audience. They were mostly possibly right, but it didn't stop us having a right old load of fun trying. Enjoy!!  Music by Dan-o Songs

Aug 15, 2021 • 56:54

Hidden Tools of Comedy review & Chris Paling interview

Hidden Tools of Comedy review & Chris Paling interview

It's a half and half treat this week! Half book review ("The Hidden Tools of Comedy" by Steve Kaplan) and half interview - a lovely natter with novelist, and writer of "A Very Nice Rejection Letter", Chris Paling. In addition to this we obviously also briefly discuss Lion dressage.    https://www.chrispaling.com/ https://www.kaplancomedy.com/product/book/   Music by Dan-o Songs

Aug 8, 2021 • 57:14

The Little Pod of Horrors!

The Little Pod of Horrors!

Ouhhhhhhh... it's a spooooooky horror episode! This week we present back our short horror stories. Then we try and teach Dave how to give something marks out of ten. (We have no idea if we did a good job of that. I mean, he gave us an 7/10... but who knows).

Aug 1, 2021 • 55:28

"In one eye and out the other" with stand-up poet, Kate Fox

"In one eye and out the other" with stand-up poet, Kate Fox

This week we're joined by the superb Kate Fox, poet extraordinaire. Kate shows us around the secret world of poetry, enjoys Dave's catchphrase (I mean, what right thinking individual wouldn't?!) and she definitely doesn't violently drown someone shortly after chatting with us. Plus, Kate reveals which famous comedy favourite she inspired to get on stage and tell some gags. https://katefoxwriter.wordpress.com/ Music by Dano Songs

Jul 25, 2021 • 1:12:11

A chat with Tudor

A chat with Tudor

This week, we talk to brilliant thriller-mystery-horror writer C.J. Tudor. Topics covered: Dog walking, the 1980s and what it's like when one of the biggest authors in the world decides to say something rather nice about your book. Music by Dano Songs

Jul 18, 2021 • 51:28

Rejections

Rejections

This week (as the more astute of you may have gathered from the title of this episode) we talk about rejections – including a surprise for Tom and Jon that Dave has been keeping up his sleeve for over a decade! Plus there's an exciting announcement about our first live show. Enjoy! Music by Dano Songs

Jul 11, 2021 • 45:31

I can't believe it's Caimh! (That rhymes by the way!?)

I can't believe it's Caimh! (That rhymes by the way!?)

This week we talk to multi-talented writer Caimh McDonnell about hecklers, dogs and successful self publishing. And we witness a huge moment in the history of podcasting; the release of Dave's brand new catchphrase!     https://whitehairedirishman.com/podcast/ https://whitehairedirishman.com/caimhs_books/ https://davidgaughran.com/ Gary Delaney - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qja1VIOBVcs    Music by Dano Songs

Jul 4, 2021 • 53:06

Logs, trees and beats

Logs, trees and beats

What's a log line? How are they useful? How should you do them? These are all questions we really should have considered before recording a podcast about them. But as you'll hear, we get through it ok and actually find it really useful in the end. Plus, look out for an exclusive "arboreal narrative" reveal from Jon and the real highlight of the whole episode; Dave trying to be cool by making sounds like he's about to swallow a wasp. Music by Dano Songs

Jun 27, 2021 • 1:05:31

A nice chat with Beth Chalmers

A nice chat with Beth Chalmers

We thoroughly enjoy a lovely chinwag with Beth Chalmers this week. She's a hugely successful writer with sketch shows, dramas, programmes like Horrible Histories and much, much more to her name. We talk about what goes on behind the scenes, the pitching process and eventually we manage to squeeze some top tips out of her too. Enjoy!! Beth's current TV series "Mystic" (co-written with long time collaborator Amy Shindler) is currently on the iplayer https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m000kxr

Jun 20, 2021 • 55:08

From first pages to review rages

From first pages to review rages

In this week's audio smorgasbord (let's call it a smaudiosbord), inspired by our chat with OMJ Ryan in episode 7, we present back our first pages of our best-selling crime novels and then we have a bit of a natter about reviews - whether they're good, bad... or should just be blummin' ignored. We also find out about the time that Jon got blacklisted from the local writer's group and shortly after that, Dave unsuccessfully tries to find a book for 15 seconds.    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outl

Jun 13, 2021 • 1:02:23

OMG it's OMJ

OMG it's OMJ

This week we talk to crime fiction author OMJ Ryan and we find out the answer to questions like; What happens when you quit your job to become an author? What do you call a competition where you have to dig up hidden snooker balls? And, what happens when you give a critical review of a book written by the person you're currently interviewing, which you thought was anonymous but it turns out it wasn't?! Awkward! (But also hilarious). Oh, and DON'T MENTION COATS.    https://www.omjryan.com/blog-av

Jun 6, 2021 • 51:17

Robot Writers

Robot Writers

This time out, we talk about our "work in progress" and then touch upon important issues such as houmous on nipples, one of us being a better director than George Lucas and take the challenge to see if we can tell the difference between things written by us or by a super smart AI computer. Thanks for listening.      Links from the show...    Make your own pretend person. Maybe print it out and frame it, pop it on your desk and pretend you've got a friend!  https://thispersondoesnotexist.com  Mu

May 30, 2021 • 53:58

Ideas about ideas!

Ideas about ideas!

Due to recent events we’ve had to swap our episodes around a bit. So this week we’re using our experience as advertising creatives to discuss creativity and where ideas come from. Then we take a long hard look into the future and begrudgingly welcome the unstoppable rise of our, soon to become, robot overlords Useful links TED talk on creativity - https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_harford_a_powerful_way_to_unleash_your_natural_creativity The Creative Penn Podcast. (12th Feb) episode https://www

May 23, 2021 • 58:59

Aural Sex

Aural Sex

Well, here it is. The episode literally no-one has been waiting for. Packed to the brim with smut and naughtiness, with a few rib-ticklers thrown in for your enhanced pleasure. Plus some very high quality chat about our worst jobs ever. Enjoy! (Well, try to enjoy it... or just lie back and think of England, it's up to you).  Music by DanoSongs

May 16, 2021 • 53:52

Erotica's a hard one

Erotica's a hard one

This week we have a good old fashioned chin-wag about our ongoing writing projects – including a unique take on the murder mystery genre and a truly amazing idea for a play. Then we seamlessly segue into talking about the time Dave and Tom met a Hollywood big-wig... and probably slightly embarrassed themselves. Oh, and we make foolish promises that will no doubt come back to haunt us all in Episode 4 next week. Music by DanoSongs

May 9, 2021 • 1:02:54

Teenangstasaurus

Teenangstasaurus

This episode sees us bravely digging out our embarrassing teenage poetry and sharing it shamelessly with the world. We talk about what writing we're trying to work on at the moment and a few other fantastically interesting bits and bobs as well. Which is nice.    Music by DanoSongs

May 2, 2021 • 46:36

There's No Hope

There's No Hope

In our first ever episode we have a chat about why we started the podcast, we talk about those little things that prevent us from becoming internationally renowned bestselling authors and about how we write. There's a bit more waffle in there too about various bits and bobs... but, y'know, it's our first ever podcast, give us a break.  Music by DanoSongs

May 2, 2021 • 53:49

S1: Episode 0 - Introducing failure

S1: Episode 0 - Introducing failure

Tom, Jon and Dave welcome you to the Failing Writers Podcast. Come on a journey of self-development with us as we attempt to transform ourselves, and maybe even you, from failures to nailing it-ers. Listen to this first to find out what it's all about. Music by DanoSongs

Apr 26, 2021 • 4:05

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