How to Be a Girl
Marlo Mack
How to Be a Girl is an audio podcast I produce about life with my six-year-old transgender daughter. It stars the two of us -- a single mom and a six-year-old "girl with a penis" -- as we attempt together to sort out just what it means to be a girl.
A post-election message from Marlo
My daughter and I are stunned and sad, but we are doing OK. Here is something for you. Some words from me, with some music from my amazing daughter.
Episode XXXV: Unwelcome (Part II)
What happens when supporting your child means leaving your home? Meet my courageous friends from Montana, who are building a new life in a new state after anti-trans legislation targeted their young daughter. This is the second part in a two-part story. Listen to Part One here.
Episode XXXIV: Unwelcome (Part I)
Imagine living in a place where your own child has been outlawed. This is happening, right now, all over the United States. In this episode, you’ll meet my new friends, a courageous and close-knit family who suddenly found themselves unwelcome in the place they had always called home.
Episode XXXIII: How We Are Now
It's been over two years. I wanted to let you know how we are doing. Thank you for your patience. (Spoiler: My daughter is still amazing.)
Episode XXXII: The Medical Stuff
For years, people have asked me what I would do when my daughter hit puberty. Was I going to let her do... the "medical stuff?" Well, right after the pandemic struck, so did puberty. And this is what my daughter (and her mother) decided to do.
Episode XXXI: M is for Middle School, Take Two
This episode is different from any of our previous episodes. It’s also a do-over, because the first version of this episode overlooked the fact that my daughter is growing up, fast. She’s almost a teenager, and we both agree that it’s time she took charge. So that’s what she did. (Here’s a little more about how this episode came to be.)
Episode XXXI: M is for Middle School
A long-overdue update on the life of my beautiful transgender daughter. She's almost a teenager. She's in middle school. She's still magical. (And middle school girls can still be super mean.)
Edited by the incomparable Whitney Henry-Lester.Music credits:“La Meduse Raconte
Episode XXX: Emma at last
I want you to meet my good friend, Emma. When she was a little girl, she was just like my daughter. But no one knew her for 60 years. I'm so glad she's here now.
Episode XXIX: Eleven
I sit down for a talk with my (almost) 11-year-old: Cliques, gossip, fashion, puberty, and how it feels to be a transgender tween. MUSIC CREDIT: “Little Girl” by Jetty
Episode XXVIII: The Tell
A new friend at school. A poker lesson. A 10-year-old hatches a plan.MUSIC CREDITS:“Ganef” by Vagabond Opera and “Moonlight Love Affair” by Steve Rice (Courtesy of Audi
Episode XXVII: Playdates with Christians
Are the new next-door neighbors going to let their daughters play with mine if they find out she's transgender? To attempt to answer this question, I seek expert advice
Episode XXVI: Sarah McBride
Need to hear a positive story about politics? I know I do. Here's the inspiring story of Sarah McBride, the young transgender activist who gives me hope (and is my pe
Episode XXV: To Tell or Not to Tell? (Advice from HTBAG listeners)
In the last episode, I asked my listeners to help me answer this question: Should my daughter tell the kids at her new school that she's transgender? In this episode,
Episode XXIV: Moving & Marrying, Part III - New School
My daughter starts fifth grade at a new school next month. It's a fresh start, where no one knows that she's transgender. How do I handle this? How do I adv
Episode XXIII: Moving & Marrying, Part II - Won't you be my neighbor?
We've moved. To the suburbs. We're getting to know the new neighbors, and we're wondering: Will they accept us here? MUSIC CREDITS: "Gl
Episode XXII: Moving & Marrying, Part I - The Prince
Did you know there's a wedding coming up, uniting an Englishman with an American bride? Listen now for ALL the juicy details on this intercontinental couple's for
Episode XXI: Going First
In this episode, my daughter and I get to talk with two of our heroes. Jazz Jennings is a reality TV star, LGBTQ activist, and arguably the most famous transgender teen in the world. Her mom Jeanette is as brave as they come.
Episode XX: The Betrayal
Of course I knew this was going to happen eventually. But that didn't make it any easier when it did.
We're back! Welcome to a new season!
After a pretty lengthy hiatus, we're back! The first episode of the 2018 season comes out next week. Here's a little taste of what's to come.
A little girl, a holiday, big news, and... a miracle!
This mini-episode contains: One VERY excited little girl awaiting Santa, news of the big changes coming to our lives, my plans for the future of this podcast, and... a miracle! Music credits:Dee Yan-Key, "Santa on Tour" (licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0)Borrtex, "Buying Presents" (licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0)
When it rains it pours
How can the best of times also be the worst of times? This spring nearly washed me away... but not quite.
Episode XIX: Red State Mama
I thought I was pretty brave until I met my counterpart from a red state.
A little update from Marlo
This tiny episode is mostly silly, and a little bit serious. I also have some news. Plus, cat videos. (KUOW is hosting a How to Be a Girl listening party in Seattle on February 26! Reserve a seat at http://kuow.org/post/join-us-how-be-girl-listening-party)
Episode XVIII: Big Sister
I'm not transgender, but my daughter is. That means she needs someone to model the future who isn't me: A transgender big sister.
Music credits: “Dormir Rien de plus” by Monplaisir (public domain)
Episode XVII: The Window
In 2013, Obama opened a window for transgender people when he made it easier to change the gender on your Social Security record. But with Trump coming into office, it looks like that window is about to close. I hadn't been in much of a rush to change my 9-year-old transgender daughter's Social Security record, but I sure am now.
Episode XVI: How to Be a (Teen) Girl
It’s still five years off, but I think about it all the time. What’s it going to be like when my transgender daughter becomes a teenager?
Episode XV: Just Maybe
She hasn't got a womb or ovaries but she wants to be a mommy. How do I tell my young daughter that she won't ever be a biological mother?
A post-election message from my 8-year-old trans daughter
My 8-year-old transgender daughter is not giving up. She's eating popcorn and singing and telling jokes and she has some advice for you.
Episode XIV: My Friend Lauren
When I first realized I had a transgender child, Lauren reached out and told me it was going to be OK. Ever since, she's been the one I lean on when I'm terrified. She's the bravest woman I know.
Episode XIII: Play Date
My daughter has lots of friends, and she's big on play dates with other little girls. But sometimes we need to book a special play date, because sometimes you just need to hang out with somebody who's just like you.
Episode XII: How to Be a Dad
When my husband and I split up four years ago, we agreed to share custody of our...."son." Four years later, we have a transgender daughter, and the crazy truth is that I've never really asked him how he feels about this. So I did. And this is what he said. (I asked him a few other questions, too.)
Short and Silly
This isn't a full episode. Just a little update on what we've been up to, with some very silly audio of my daughter. (What can I say? It's been a silly summer!) There's also an important announcement about the future of this podcast and some news on my daughter's love life (and mine too!).
Episode XI: Bathroom Bill
I never thought a bathroom bill - the kind they passed in North Carolina - would come to my home state. But it did. They're trying to pass one where I live, and this is the story of my fight (so far) against it.
Episode X: School (Part II)
This is a continuation of Episode IX. It tells the rest of the story of what happened when my transgender daughter started second grade at a new school.
Episode IX: School (Part I)
This episode has been six months in the making, because that's how long it took for this story to play out. It's the story of my daughter entering second grade at a new school where we knew no one, almost no one knew her secret, and I had no idea how I was going to keep her safe.
Episode VIII: Meeting Laverne
Earlier this year, my daughter got to meet the transgender TV star Laverne Cox. I wrote about it for my blog, and that heart-warming, feel-good post went crazy viral on the internet. But there's more to the story. Here it is.
Episode VII: THE FACTS (about transgender kids)
When my "son" first started saying that "he" was actually a "she," I went looking for information. I wanted hard numbers. I wanted data. I wanted science to tell me to do. This is what I discovered.
Episode VI: The Interview
This episode is a little different from the others I've made. It's mostly just my daughter talking, answering my questions about what it's like being a transgender six year old.
Episode V: Looking for Love
She's six years old and transgender. I'm a single mom. This is what happens when we both hit the dating scene and compare notes about it.
Music credits: "Night Owl" by Broke for Free, "Is This What Mama Meant" by Michaela Anne.
Episode IV: Tom Boy Trans Girl
How girlie do you have to be to secure your spot in the girl club? And what happens when your own mother questions your girl credentials? Bonus: The Origins of Acrobat Girl:
Music credits: "Action" and "Eastern" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "Xena: Warrior Princess - Main Title" by Joseph LoDuca.
Episode III: How Old is Gender?
Am I insane? How can I be so sure that my young child is transgender?Music credits: "Her Love Comes in Air" by soundZcapa, "Gato" by Rod Hamilton, "Kaikou" by Satori.
Episode II: Daily Life in the House of Girls
What's it like raising a transgender child? How did your family respond? What about school? How in the world does this work? This episode gives you the low-down on what daily life is really like for us.
Episode I: Mama, I'm a Girl
When he was three years old, my son informed me that she was actually my daughter. I'm now the mother of a happy, confident little transgender girl, but it took a while to get here.